Andrea Millhouse Pt. 10 - Conclusion

"Wren, thanks for meeting us. I'm Tim Donovan and this is my significant other, Andrea Millhouse.' I said, introducing Andrea and I.

"I know who you are, Tim, we've met but you were quite young then." Wren replied, seating herself opposite of Andrea and me.

"Where did we meet?" I asked, trying to remember.

"Lovey brought you and Ricky to the, Courage To Change, Al-Anon group a few times. Probably twenty five years ago, now" Wren replied, sipping her coffee.

"...I think I do remember you, now that you mention it, Wren" I replied, studying her face.

"I'm not sure that I can help you, Tim, but I did know your mom quite well and am very saddened by her passing. She never missed a Friday night meeting and all of us loved her. What are you interested in knowing about her" Wren asked, looking at me.

"We just have some questions - fill in the blank, kind of stuff, that we were wondering about in regard to her personal life, Wren. We were also hoping that you wouldn't mind looking at a few photos that we brought with us" I said, holding up the manila envelope.

Wren took a deep breath and rubbed her forehead. "I think I know where you're headed with this, Tim. First let me say this, I'm not sure how familiar you are with what we do in Al-Anon. It's not only a program designed to deal with someone else's drinking or drug use but it's also a program designed for self improvement which means we confide, in another person, the good as well as the bad. If you want the absolute truth, I'll give it to you but be warned; Lovey had her own flaws - the same as any other person, flaws which you may or may not be aware of, flaws which you may or may not want to know about." Wren said evenly.

"We want the unbiased truth, Wren. We loved her and nothing will ever change any of that" I said with conviction.

"Let's see your photos then" Wren said as she sipped her coffee.

I spread the photos onto the table for Wren to examine.

"This, we've discovered, is my real Dad. This is what I would like to know about most, Wren, who was this man, Rick Sheffield?" I said pointing to Rick Sheffield within the Scrambler picture.

"I never met him but Lovey talked of him often, Tim." Wren replied quietly.

Wren studied the photos for a few minutes longer and then took a sticky note from within her purse and scribbled an address on it.

"I won't talk about Lovey, here. Right now I have to go pick up my granddaughter and some of her friends in a few minutes. Meet me at my house, an hour from now and we'll sit down and talk" Wren said as she rose from the table.

"Wren, thank you, we will!" I said as Andrea and I both rose from the table.

"No trouble, Tim" Wren replied.

"...Wren would you mind if we record the conversation" I suddenly asked, hoping that I wasn't pushing any boundaries.

"No that's fine, I'll see you in an hour" Wren said as she turned and walked away.

"...Do you see the difference a suit and tie make in meeting someone now, Tim?"Andrea asked, after Wren had left and we had sat down to our coffees again.

"The difference is in the company I keep, a lady with integrity and class" I replied with conviction.

"Maybe I will take you home with me" Andrea said, sipping her coffee.

I suddenly felt a bit giddy inside, thinking that I might actually be getting closer to discovering who Rick Sheffield actually was, as a person. Andrea could read this in my face now and commented.

"Baby, remember what Wren said, everything she tells us today about your mom may not be flattering, so be prepared in case it does sting a little" Andrea warned me.

"I'll be alright, Andrea" I said.

Forty minutes later, Andrea and I finished our coffees and got back into the Camry. Following the GPS, we were soon within a few blocks of Wren's house.

"Stop at that convenience store, ahead, Andrea" I said.

'What do you want in there?" Andrea asked, once we'd parked.

"Breath mints, want anything?" I asked as I got out.

"Get me a bottled water, please" Andrea replied.

A short time later Andrea and I drove up to an attractive house within a slightly up-scale neighborhood just as Wren was pulling into the driveway. Wren and three girls all of whom were around the age of twelve then exited the car among a crescendo of conversation.

"Guess this is the place" I said as I reached for the door handle...

Wren offered Andrea and I each coffee and then sat down with us at her kitchen table. The house was modest yet had a warm and cozy feel to it. I could see a poster of a rock star and several large stuffed animals within a bedroom with its door half open, obviously the bedroom belonged to Wren's granddaughter. Wren, herself, was around seventy years of age I guessed. She was slightly portly yet healthy and vibrant with a rather serious face that was framed in large glasses and short brown hair. From her demeanor I detected a strong integrity with a sense of humor that wasn't buried too far below the surface; I immediately liked her and felt as if Andrea did too.

"I actually met your mom, many years before, through Doc Feldman in nineteen sixty seven. I was twenty when I first went to work as a receptionist for Doc. He practiced a personalized care not heard of in the medical field today, a personalized care in which he wanted to know each of his individual patients as a person; he wanted to interact with his patients, not tranquilize them. He felt that he could serve his patients much more effectively in this way and from what I saw, he did. This sometime meant that he would give them some strong medicine of truth, not medication, Doc could be very hard when he needed to be and I saw this first hand on several occasions." Wren now said to Andrea and I.

I simply nodded my head and squeezed Andrea's hand.

"Your mother first saw Doc right after Rick had died. I've never known how Rick died but I do know that it wasn't in Vietnam, he died here in the States somewhere but I don't know how or why." Wren now said after a pause.

Andrea and I remained silent.

"...Most of the patients that Doc would see were active in keeping their good health, Doc stressed eating properly, exercise and so on. Hell, he could preach better than a Baptist minister when he needed to and I recollect hearing many a sermon on proper diet and exercise. I actually got to where I could recite them myself after a while; I'd heard them so many times. I wasn't safe from Doc's preaching either and Doc didn't mince words if he had something to say, believe me.

...On rare occasions we had what Doc called 'Mule Heads', these were stubborn patients that refused to listen to reason and Lovey was one of those, at least initially. She came to our office right after Rick had passed and she was as fragile as spun glass, I'd never seen someone so devastated before in my life. Lovey had a vacant stare and I remember thinking that if someone snuck up behind her and made a loud noise that she would very likely crumble into a million pieces, and she probably would have. ...We were absolutely swamped with patients that day and Doc didn't have time to see her yet he was gravely concerned about her, she'd just delivered your little brother a few months earlier and her body was drained as well as her spirit, now with Rick's loss. Doc was afraid that Lovey could be bordering on a nervous breakdown or even suicide.

Using his best judgment, Doc gave her a small vial of laudanum and told her to put a few drops on her tongue every four to six hours, when needed. We then scheduled her to come back in three days, on Friday. On Thursday afternoon Lovey called and said that it was urgent that she see Doc - today, not Friday, Doc agreed and had me schedule her for six o clock, as his last patient of the day. We only stayed open until five o clock, so I asked Doc why he wanted to see her at six? "You'll understand when she gets here, Wren" is all Doc had said. At five twenty Lovey came through the door and demanded to see Doc immediately. Doc agreed and took her into his examining room. Our last patient of the day was gone and most of the other offices in the building were empty now, everyone had gone home for the day and I wanted to go home too but I stayed and did some paperwork in the outer office.

Five minutes after Lovey had gone into Doc's examining room I heard a loud argument between Lovey and Doc erupt ...and it sounded like the lid of Hell had blown off. The language and tone of voice that Lovey used sent literal cold chills down my back and it was LOUD! Lovey wanted more Laudanum and Doc wouldn't give her any. I had never heard anyone, especially a woman, with such a vile mouth. Lovey would have made a boatload of Marines back down that day with her language, it was absolutely awful. ...After five or so minutes of this, bombardment of profanity, Doc took the reins and set Lovey in her place and believe me, he could do it and he was just as loud as Lovey had been.

...Finally, after a brief silence, I heard Lovey begin to wale and it was just as extreme as the arguing had been and it went on for six or seven long minutes, I remember. After she had calmed down and it was quiet again I went to the examining room and tapped lightly on the door and opened it, I wanted to go home for the night. Looking inside the room, I saw Doc was holding Lovey as she shook with deep racking sobs. "She'll be alright now, Wren, go on home girl" Doc told me with a nod.

Doc had dealt with severe trauma during World War One and he had a deep understanding of people, I'm serious when I say that he could have been a psychiatrist if he'd wanted to, realistically I think he was. Jokingly he'd always say that he should have aspired to become a bartender in a brothel and he probably would have succeeded in that too. Doc loved people and he loved his patients - really. If you want to know why your mom was so passionate about exercise - it's because of Doc. If you want to know why your mom stayed away from drugs during the nineteen sixties - it's because of Doc. If you want to know why your mom lived the long happy life, that she did - it's because of Doc.

A visit with Doc didn't end in the office; Doc made social calls on his patients and encouraged them in exercise and proper diet. He helped them avoid stress in their lives and he was a good listener. Doc's patients loved him and they respected him. Count yourself extremely fortunate to have had him as a mentor when you were growing up, Tim." Wren said as she took a sip of water.

I simply nodded my head.

"LET'S COOL IT IN THERE, LADIES!" Wren suddenly barked as she looked toward the living room wall where the girls were becoming a bit rambunctious.

"OK, Gramma" came a quick reply, followed with a giggle.

"All of us loved Doc, Wren. Can you tell us anything more, at all, about Rick Sheffield?' I asked.

"I know that they had planned to get married, Pat was out of the picture by then and Lovey and Rick were soul mates, that's really about all I know in regard to Rick. By the time Lovey made it to Al-Anon, Rick had been gone for twenty five years, Tim. When she came to Al-Anon the first time, I recognized her as one of Doc's patients from years before. Most of what we talked about were you and Ricky" Wren replied.

At Andrea's bequest, Wren elaborated in detail, more about the Al-Anon program. She explained that Al-Anon was a program designed to help people who were affected by another person's drinking, such as a spouse or child, even a close friend. The person in Al-Anon couldn't stop or control the other person's drinking or drug use but they could stop enabling them. The person recovering in Al-Anon could also learn to live a happy life whether the loved one in question continued to drink or not. Mom had begun attending Al-Anon meetings because of the Old Man's drinking and I genuinely believe that Mom had benefitted tremendously because of her attendance in Al-Anon.

Wren went further and explained that the recovery process in Al-Anon required some deep soul searching within the person attending the meetings and also some major changes within their life. Wren said that these changes didn't happen overnight and that it was a process, she also said that lifelong friendships were made in Al-Anon and that seeing her Al-Anon friends was the highlight of her life. Wren explained that individual groups would sometimes have social outings together, such as cook-outs or even bowling nights. Thinking back now, I believe that Mom had attended some of these social outings on various occasions and I knew several of her close friends were also in Al-Anon.

"Is Al-Anon just for women?" Andrea asked.

"No, everyone is welcome" Wren replied.

"How much does it cost?" Andrea then asked.

"Nothing, just show up" Wren answered.

Andrea seemed to now grasp the purpose of Al-Anon and subsequently asked Wren several more questions which I thought were highly intuitive. I began to get the feeling that Andrea might be thinking of someone who she felt could benefit from Al-Anon, possibly Gail but I wasn't sure. There was a silence then and I thought once more of Mom.

"Wren can you tell me why Mom never mentioned Rick to either Ricky or me?" I asked.

"...(sigh)... She struggled with this, Tim, it was hard on her and the answer is complicated. Your mother grew up in a different time, the end of the Victorian Era, really. Part of the reason she never revealed him to you is because she still felt some degree of guilt. She was still married to Pat when you and Ricky, each, were conceived and this went against both her spiritual and Victorian values, regardless of how unfaithful Pat was. Another reason is because, for a while, she believed her marriage to Pat could be salvaged which obviously it couldn't. Lovey also didn't think it would be fair for you and Ricky to grow-up in the shadow of a man whom neither of you had ever known. Your mother was also capable of stubbornness and strong denial when it was convenient for her and this was something we worked on together constantly - I sponsored Lovey in Al-Anon, by the way, Tim." Wren said.

"An Al-Anon sponsor is like a mentor isn't it?" Andrea asked.

"Yes, more or less" Wren answered.

"What kind of denial?" I asked.

"Your mother never loved another human being more than she had Rick but in her denial she would sometimes make up things which hadn't happened, for instance, that her and Rick had actually been married which they had not." Wren said.

"I think I can understand that, Wren. What was she like, I mean as a peer?" I asked.

"She was Lovey, she was the same with everyone." Wren replied.

There was a long silence between us then. The girls were obviously out in the back yard now and sounded as if they were engaged in some sort of game, hide and seek, perhaps. Sitting beside Andrea now I felt as if I were meeting my mother for the first time in my life with Wren's confession.

"...I'm so saddened that Mom lost the only true love of her life. It must have been so hard for her to be celibate for the majority of her life" I said sadly.

Wren made a sarcastic puffing sound with her lips "Honey, after you and Ricky, your mom loved three things in this world - sex, love and rock and roll, and love them, she did. Your mother was never celibate for more than a few days at a time ever in her entire life. She didn't sleep-around but she was by no means celibate." Wren replied.

"She had a lover ...all these years, you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Doc" Wren said simply.

"D-D-Dock and Mooom were...?" I stammered, I was suddenly completely shell shocked.

"They were lovers for years." Wren said matter of factly.

"But no one..." I began

"Your Aunt Elsie and Ollie Parker knew but no one else." Wren replied.

"But, but Doc was forty years older than..." I began.

With my mind racing, it suddenly made perfect sense now why Mom's demeanor had changed so dramatically when Doc had passed in nineteen eighty, he'd been more than just a friend to Mom. Doc had been her lover and confidant as well as a friend and travel companion. I thought of all their cribbage nights and bowling nights and all of the other "social outings" that Doc and Mom frequently engaged in together and now it made sense. They probably did play cards and go bowling but they most likely spent some of those evenings as lovers, tucked secretly away in Doc's own house across town.

"Your Mom and Doc were not in-love but they were attracted to one another and they loved each other very much. They simply had an arrangement that worked well for them. Do you remember the cruise that Ollie Parker, your Mom, Sarah Kress and myself took back in the mid eighties, Tim? Wren asked.

"Oh ...yes, she had a wonderful time, I remember" I replied, rubbing my forehead.

"What you don't know is that she stayed in Doc's cabin during that voyage, Doc went with us on that cruise. Doc was always a gentleman and he was an excellent travelling companion for her, they went a lot of places together over the years. The five of us had a marvelous time on that trip." Wren explained.

I put my head in my hands and massaged my face, Andrea rubbed my back.

"You wanted the truth, Tim. Lovey was one of the most beautiful human beings that I've ever met and I'm proud that I was her friend, I miss her every day." Wren said quietly.

"...I know" I replied quietly.

"I wish I could give you more answers concerning Rick, Tim, but I just don't have them.' Wren said as she stood.

"Thank you for seeing us, Wren, you've answered a lot of questions" I replied as Andrea and I now stood, as well.

"I have your number now and I'll call if I think of anything else, feel free to call me as well. Andrea, it was a pleasure meeting you" Wren said, giving us each a brief hug.

"You also, thank you, Wren" Andrea replied.

"...Would you drive, honey" I asked Andrea once we were outside.

"Of course, you alright, babe?" Andrea asked as she put her arm around me.

"I will be in a minute" I said, massaging my eyes.

"I recorded everything, Tim" Andrea said holding up her phone.

"Good, thank you Andrea. Let's go, Ricky has a good movie to watch and he's grilling steaks tonight." I said, kissing Andrea.

"I love you, babe" Andrea said.

"I know" I replied.

...After changing into my regular clothes again I played out in the yard with Yogi and Stormy, once Andrea and I returned to Ricky's trailer. What I really wanted was a thick steak and vigorous bicycle ride but our bikes were back at Andrea's condo. At least I'd get a thick steak tonight; Ricky was a master with the barbeque and the aroma from the grille was mouth watering. Ricky also had a good movie for us to watch and the weather was cooperating for an outdoor dinner. I was, once again, saturated with memories of the past with the photos and Wren's confession regarding Mom. It was time to put the photos away again for a while and focus on the present.

I thought about Andrea Millhouse now as Yogi and I wrestled on the lawn with Stormy observing us. I'd never met a woman like Andrea and the more I began to know her the more I loved her, she had her flaws, the same as anyone else but as someone had once asked me - Does her "crazy" work with your "crazy?" The question obviously asking if we could stand each other when the chips were down and neither of us was at our best. Something in my gut told me that we could, at least it seemed so. Ricky came out of the trailer and handed me a cold root bear as he checked the grille.

"You be ready to eat in a few, Tim?" he asked

"God, yeah, brother" I replied, opening the root beer.

"Magnum Force ok, tonight, Tim" Ricky asked, closing the barbeque.

"What?" I asked.

"The movie, Dirty Harry - Magnum Force, that ok?" Ricky asked.

"God yeah, haven't seen it in years" I said as we both sat down on the patio.