Angel in the Dark

"Don't cry for me, Argentina," she whispered, kissed Violett on the cheek, nabbed the corrector cartridge, then returned to her typewriter in the living room.

Violett waited in her bedroom for her escort to arrive so that she could make a grand entrance, as was proper for a lady. She usually felt a flutter of excitement on these occasions. It was always the anticipation of the sex she expected at the top of the evening. Strangely, tonight she was not feeling it. She shrugged that off and just expected it would come later. When the doorbell rang she heard Jenny answer it and then her greeting. "Hi, Mel. Wow, you look fantastic!"

"Check you out, lady. You're too hot to waste on Vi. Just wait while I get on my tux," Chimed in Brad. They always loved to see Melissa.

As they chirped their assorted greetings, Violett went into action. She picked up her Giorgio and sprayed two pumps high into the air. As the mist fell, she gently stepped into the curtain of scent and let it drape about her. She picked up her purse, stepped into the hallway and out to the living room. She smiled gratefully as 'Oo's and 'Ah's greeted her but she was really taken aback at seeing Melissa.

Mel was stunning. She had styled her raven wedge-cut hair in a way that perfectly framed her sculpted facial features, with the grey at her temples pushed back to a broad sweep that faded into black over her ears. Between her hollow cheeks, her dazzling red lips made her dark eyes look fierce and daring. Her floor-length dress was sleek, black, and sleeveless with an open back and it clung to her sinuous, fit form as if it were painted on. She was the very image of strength and vitality.

"Honey, you look so dashing." exclaimed Violett. She clasped Mel's hands in hers and greeted her with a soft kiss on her pursed lips.

"Oh, baby. ' so good to see you again," said Melissa. The two just gazed into each other's eyes.

Brad put on his concerned father-figure voice and warned, "We expect her home at a decent hour." Then jabbing at her with his hash pipe for emphasis, he looked sternly at Violett and added, "And no drinking, young lady."

Mel laughed as she stepped backward out the door, "Oh. Yes, sir. You can count on me, sir."

Violett grabbed a pillow off the chair by the door and winged it at Brad before she closed the door behind her.

Melissa paused in front of her as they stood on the landing. "Baby, you look divine." She placed her hands on Violett's hips and Violett hung her arms over Mel's shoulders. "I could eat you up."

Violett replied in a sultry tone as she gazed up though her long lashes, "But then we'd be late for the party." They kissed. Some Phi Kappa Psi guys up on the roof of their house whooped and whistled, which they ignored. When they broke their kiss Violett took Mel's arm as she led her down to her waiting 380SL.

The dinner party was being held up at the very posh and scenic Flagstaff House, high on the mountainside. The pair traded exited expectations and entreaties all the way up the steep road to the restaurant. When they arrived, they made their entrance as a couple but without the physical demonstrations. They all, of course, knew that Melissa was a lesbian and that Violett was her customary consort, but the two preferred a detached presentation to defray any offense.

The greeting and informal conversation portion of the evening proceeded smoothly. Violett hovered at Melissa's elbow to compliment her vigorous and charismatic countenance.

With the ladies, Violett deftly avoided any gossipy detractions but was sure to stay in step with the tempo of a life devoted to the emotional needs of a hard-working professional. She dazzled them with her personal tips and commitment to physical pleasure management without skimming any of the lurid details. She conveyed to them a portrait of doting mistress with all the necessary assurance of being well suited to Melissa's emotional and intellectual needs.

With the men, Violett conducted herself as an enviable asset to Melissa's personal prowess. She orchestrated their aspiration without being flirtatious or projecting availability. She made the clear impression she was a treasure to be had, but Mel's and Mel's only. In all her conversation exchanges she maintained, in spite of her slight age and limited experience, an air of the intellectual equivalent to anyone in the room.

The dinner portion of the evening proceeded in the same poised flow. Violett ate lightly with consideration of the night to come. She bantered eloquently with donors and doctors alike and charmed all with her trained taste for The Arts and witty banter. At appropriate points she exalted Melissa's strengths and talents with the lightest of touch. She was in every way a perfect asset to her companion's presentation.

At an appropriate hour, not too early nor too late, they excused themselves from the party and made a gracious exit. Secured alone in the car they could finally relax. They kissed again and Melissa complimented her on her cordial conduct.

Their drive down the mountainside was electric with excited talk of the evening's events while compliments on each other's appearance and conduct flowed freely. When they got to Mel's place she pulled up to the front door in the circular driveway to give Violett the grand entrance. Once inside Violett was presented with Mel's immaculate and tastefully embellished home all lit-up in anticipation of their arrival. Melissa dispensed with any trite formalities; the two were well accustomed lovers and knew where this evening would lead. She took Violett's hand and led her into the opulent living room.

Violett set down her purse and made herself comfortable on the love seat. Her eyes watched Melissa as she circled about the room like a stalking tiger, dimming lights and turning on some soft music. She knew from experience that Mel liked to seduce her so she kept still and waited to be made.

With the mood set, Melissa stood before her, gently lowered herself to Violett's side. Her arms crept around Violett and she slid herself in close. Mel brought her face close to take in her essence and put her in anticipation of a ravenous kiss.

Violett moved an arm in behind her but waited for Mel to make the first contact. She placed her other hand on her knee to allow Mel access inside.

When the mood was tense enough, Mel struck. Her arm darted in around Violett's back while the other dashed in to Violett's hip. Her kiss was hard, almost violent and her tongue charged in to captivate.

This was how Violett loved for Mel to take her. To overwhelm her with her strength and passion. To ravage her into their love-dance. She was being pressed back into the corner of the settee and enjoying Mel's command. She swept her hands over Mel's taught sinuous frame to enjoy all of her built-up power and encourage her assault. She subtly spread her knees to invite her lover to her charms.

Mel's hand had found the catch to her dress and expertly unhooked it and opened the zipper wide. Her mouth hungrily kissed its way across Violett's jaw line and began nibbling at her earlobe. Her hand came up from Violett's ass and plundered Violett's newly exposed boobs. The hand squeezed and pumped at the tender fruits and then gently pinched at the nipples. Mel then kissed her way down to the open breasts. Cupping one in her hand, her mouth closed over the other's nipple and began to suck and tease at it with her tongue.

Violett remained completely passive. She cradled Mel's head in her arms and peppered her with kisses. She pushed her chest forward and offered a fresh tit at her lover's alternating whim. When the time was right, she unfastened the catch at the top of Mel's dress to free her breasts to partake in the struggle. She pulled down Mel's dress and felt the soft globes of flesh drop heavy onto her skin.

Mel was feeling her passion now. She rose up onto her knees and spread herself over her prone partner. She again covered Violett's mouth with her own and forced her tongue in deeply. With a knee between Violett's thighs and the other arm on the back of the sofa, she bridged over Violett freeing her other hand to explore up the pinned girl's skirt. Melissa's fingers lightly glided up her inner thighs looking for that prize at where her thighs joined. The fingertips tenderly traced the edges of the pubic patch before diving down the cleft. With her middle finger poised to part Violett's flesh Mel abruptly froze and broke their kiss.

Erect nipples, swollen labia, and the musky wetness within, Violett was never ashamed that her body's signs proclaimed her arousal. She was well acquainted with all the clues, as was the good doctor. Melissa did not find the signs of arousal. She was met with retracted labia and no welling of moisture. There was no hiding it. The good doctor as well as any experienced lover could tell that Violett's heart was not in this encounter.

Melissa lifted herself, removed her hand from under Violett's dress, and turned on the lamp on the table behind the love seat. She looked into Violett's eyes with concern but a slight hint of disappointment she could not hide. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked softly.

Violett froze and searched herself for a proper answer. This was embarrassing and she was deeply shamed to fall short of a partner's expectations. She dropped her arms to her lap self-consciously. "I'm... I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind. I've really wanted to... Maybe if I had a drink and we could relax in the Jacuzzi a bit." She thought surely that would all work. She wanted so much to please Mel and with a little time she would warm up.

"Come on, baby. Something's bothering you." Mel soothed. Her hands slipped slowly over Violett's upturned palms and gently clasped her wrists in her physician's manner. "Talk to me... Tell me all about it. You know I'm always here for you." She knelt down low and looked imploringly into Violett's eyes. Her patience only made Violett's dilemma worse.

"I met this girl," she started. She resented the admission knowing the crass etiquette of discussing another lover in the presence of a current partner. She wanted anything but to continue.

"What did she do to you?" Melissa pressed.

"It's not what she did. It's just..." Violett dropped her head low and struggled with trying to put into words the feelings she herself did not quite understand. On top of that, the horribly rude blunder she had just made was calling her to retract everything.

She felt trapped. There was nowhere to flee. After a minute of searching she realized she had slipped this far, she might as well admit it. "I had a call. It was for a very sweet girl. A very pretty redhead. She was so... innocent but sincere. She touched me in a way... She said things... Words that... She got to me... Words that... matched my... my feelings. She held me like she was adrift and I was safety. I kissed her and she opened like a flower. And her smile... I just can't get her out of my mind."

A wistful expression played across Melissa's face. She took Violett's hands in her own and looked deeply into her eyes. "Your pupils dilated, your pulse increased, your face flushed, and your voice very noticeably softened as you were speaking about her. It's my professional opinion you're in love," she confided.

"No," Violett argued. "I can't be. That never happens. It's just nerves... From all my finals. I... I just need a minute or two to relax and then..."

Mel's tenderly cupped Violett's face in her hands. "I only wish it were me," she said with a touch of sadness in her voice.

Violett felt like she had just stabbed her dear friend in the back. A tear she could not hold back rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry. I never meant for anybody to get hurt. Oh, why did this have to happen to me?" she sobbed.

"Come here, baby." Mel held out her arms and Violett fell into them. "Love's not an affliction. It's the greatest thing in the world that can happen to you."

"You were always my favorite. If it was going to happen, I wanted it to be for you." wept Violett and with that the dam burst, a full crying jag started.

Melissa just held her and rocked her in her arms. She said, "Baby, I learned a long time ago. Sex is a lure that brings people together in spite of love. But love is a bond that holds people together in spite of sex." She tilted Violett's head back and looking into her eyes said, "A bond is holding you that is stronger than the lure that brought you here tonight."

The phone rang and persisted. Melissa groaned and patted Violett's back. "I'd better get that." she said with a sigh. She got up cupping her fallen gown in her arms and walked to the foyer to answer the phone.

Violett could hear her voice echo down the hallway. "Hello... Mmm... I was afraid of that... We're going to have to... Start him on 5 CCs of Cefazolin. I want Surgery One prepped. Who's my anesthesiologist?... Great. Pull in Dr. Cooper from the E.R. to assist... I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Melissa walked back into the room with her dress draped over her arm and her hands on her hips. "Well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be." She lifted Violett's face under her chin and kissed her forehead. "I have to go, baby. I want you to sleep here tonight. I'll make you breakfast and take you home in the morning."

"I'll make it up to you," Violett pleaded. She rose up on her knees to make her appeal. "You'll see. It'll be like always. I'll make you the happiest woman on Earth. It'll take you a day to recover and..."

Melissa kissed her in the middle of her sentence. "Baby," she said softly. "Don't fight it. You'll end up hurting yourself. I'll be back soon." She turned away and disappeared down the hallway.

Violett sat alone and pondered all the ways sex had turned against her and she wondered how many women she had hurt like she was hurting Mel now. She sat in the dark and fell victim to an avalanche of self-reproach.

After a few minutes Melissa came back into the room in slacks, blouse, and a jacket. She sat again at Violett's side with an arm around her. "I guess you just bumped into this fact of life a little too late," she sweetly confided. She pulled Violett's head to her shoulder and continued in a sad whisper, "Maybe... it was all of we girls who took advantage of an undeveloped heart... But you're going to be OK." She kissed Violett on top of her head, got up and walked to the front door. "Baby, I don't want you out and about like this. Curl up in my bed and we'll talk when I get back." She blew a kiss and was gone.

For a long time Violett just sat in the dark, lost in thought. It was like a hundred accusatory fingers were pointed at her and condemning her for all of her falseness. She deserved it. She had treated sex like a game with no concern of who she might hurt and now it was all turning on her to punish her for her abuses. She wished she had never had sex and that all she could beg the forgiveness of everyone she had used.

She cried over it long and hard. When she felt she could cry no more she got up but decided not to stay, she wanted to go home. She pulled up her dress and fastened it as best she could. She turned off the music then turned on the light in the kitchen and the breezeway so that Melissa could find her way in when she got home. She set the burglar alarm as she had done dozens of times and then she left. It was very late and the walk home was 10 blocks in the cool mountain air.

Her mind was on fire with self-criticism. She remembered Dana and through her tortured thoughts she perceived that Dana was being withheld from her until she repented her weakness. She vowed that she would never have sex again, if she could only have Dana here with her to cherish and love. The futility of her vow only brought her lower.

She didn't think she deserved to see her again. She thought that if Dana was conflicted about what they had shared together, she should have resolved it by now. But the one specter that haunted her hopes was that Dana knew her only as a slut and a whore, and that she would almost certainly realize that such a person should be shunned.

She broke down and started crying again. She leaned against a tree for support and just let it all come out, she could not stop. A group of sorority girls came upon her and tried to comfort her. They gave up and left. A tow truck driver stopped and offered her a lift. But nothing helped. She continued on crying about every sad thing that crossed her mind.

She eventually wound up at her apartment and went inside. Her stumbling and sobbing woke Jenny and she came to see what was wrong.

"I broke a good woman's heart," was all Violett could get out.

It took a while, a lot of comforting, and reassuring from Jenny before Violett was finally cried-out. Jenny undressed her, hung up her dress, and put her to bed.

Sunday, April 18

When Violett woke up it was late morning. She felt like she had a hangover. Last night was like a nightmare she wished had never happened.

She eventually dragged herself out of bed and cleaned up but she spent the rest of her day locked in her room. She had her homework and her studies to occupy her. As the hours passed, she kept hoping that maybe Dana would call, but she did not.

Melissa dropped by to check on her. They talked for quite a long time about sex and feelings and love. By the time Mel had to leave Violett had a much better understanding of herself, what had happened to her, and the relationships she had engaged in.

As bedtime came Violett tried to console what was left of her hope with the notion that Dana just needed more time.

Monday, April 19

Violett settled into a desk for her Theory of Justice class with low expectations. It was the last of her core requirements for graduation and was typical of its genre: indoctrination. Violett had more than standard antipathy for this class because she did not get along well with the instructor. The instructor was a thin, angularly featured young woman of inconspicuous appearance but severe demeanor. Violett wondered if she ever smiled in her life. From pointed exchanges in past lectures it became clear that this woman's beef was that Violett was too pretty and not trying hard enough to conceal it. Gathering from her pointed questions and snide remarks, she seemed to believe that by exposing her beauty, Violett was a dupe of the "sexist patriarchal hegemony" and therefore a traitor to all women.

The only bright spot of this class was that her roommate, Brad, was enrolled and had the same low opinion of its contents. She was glad to see him and that he took a desk at her side. The lecture was evolving as usual with the same inane scribblings and arrows on the board to accompany her social-doom histrionics.

Violett let her mind drift to something more agreeable - love. These were entirely new feelings for her and as she turned them and their source over in her mind, a pleasant glow flowed through her. A conspicuously pleasant smile spread upon her face and garnered all the wrong attention. She was only vaguely aware of the topic straying toward capitalist exploitation when the question was levelled at her.

"Violett, please tell us all the social benefits of Keynes' government controlled economy?" asked the instructor with a cold stare. It was an obvious challenge to embarrass her for not paying attention.

Violett was aware enough of the topic at hand to be infuriated at her assumptions. It was all the typical leftist appeal to the most base of all deliberative levels: emotion. She was trying to enlist the class to the cause of Socialism by engaging their envy against her perception of capitalists. Her hypocrisy was galling.

As a senior, Violett had been invited to dinner parties at many professor's homes including this one. She saw how they lived and for any of them to accuse some executive in a far-away office building of being an overpaid exploiter of the masses was outrageous. Who was this tyrant to call anyone an overpaid exploiter?