Angel Lost in the Dark Ch. 08

“The first thing the cop did after he stepped out of the patrol car was to open the trunk. He took out a blanket and tossed it to me and told me to cover up. After I’d wrapped it around myself he asked how much I’d had to drink, where my clothes were and where I lived. I gave him my address and the apartment number and then explained about the dare and how my clothes were still back at the Fraternity House. All I could tell him about the drinking was to say that it had obviously been enough to make me think that I could get away with it, yet not enough to prevent me from running in a straight line. Even though he didn’t request it I even apologized and promised never to drink again if he’d let me go. He seemed really cool about the whole thing. I mean, he was smiling the whole time and didn’t appear to be all that mad at me or shocked at my behavior. Judging by his demeanor I thought he might let me go with just a warning, but he didn’t. Instead he made me get in the back seat of the patrol car and then he drove me back to the Fraternity House.

“Anyway, he followed me in and waited while I ran upstairs to get my clothes. I was so scared and confused that once I was upstairs I forgot why I had gone up there in the first place. I just grabbed everything and went downstairs again still covered by the blanket. I was terrified and I felt like crying. I was afraid I might be facing a weekend in jail, a record, a mug shot made showing me from both sides and full frontal, my fingerprints taken, perhaps a de-lousing of my hair and of course a friendly frisking or even a full body search. That last part wouldn’t be so bad, but with my luck I’d probably be assigned to a female officer. Then they’d give me my free phone call and I had no one to call but my parents. They would have to come down and bail me out and I didn’t particularly want to hear another one of their lectures. Oh, why hadn’t I listened to Toni instead of giving in to temptation again? I felt a tears welling up in my eyes.

I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t bear to look at anyone, especially Toni, so as I walked across the carpet to where the officer stood with my head down.. I was glad that my boyfriend was still passed out and didn’t have to see me like this. He loved seeing me get naked in front of his friends, but being arrested was a whole different story. He would have broken up with me if I’d have gone to jail. He wanted to be a lawyer and it probably wouldn’t look good if it were known he had been overly friendly with a criminal. I felt so humiliated and perverted that I swore to myself that I would never act that way again.

“As I meekly approached the officer he began lecturing everyone present. In a loud voice he told them that the party was over. He was going to take me back to my apartment and then he would return and check everybody’s I.D. In California you have to be 21 to drink legally, you know, and most of the people at the party were younger than that. The campus police would usually cut some slack on Fraternity Houses and Sororities, especially on Friday and Saturday nights, but he was LAPD and I think everyone knew that he meant business.

“Anyway, when I heard him say that he was taking me back to the apartment I began to cheer up. If he was going to take me back to the apartment then two things were evident: I wouldn’t be going to jail and he would need his blanket back. I immediately dropped it on the floor and slowly started to put on my clothes. Everybody seemed to enjoy seeing me naked again except the officer. ‘Don’t push your luck, lady,” he said, looking at me with a big scowl on his face.

“When we got to my apartment building I thought he would walk me to the door and ask if he could come in. I’d heard a lot of stories about how the police would sometimes let a female perp go free in exchange for a piece of ass or a blow job, and I’d really been expecting that. Instead he dropped me off in front of the apartment and drove away. Not only did he not escort me to the door of my apartment, but he didn’t make any propositions either. He didn’t even have the courtesy of helping me out of the car. I guess I couldn’t complain too much since he was letting me go, but it still hurt my feelings.”

When she was finished she reached over the table and took a cigarette and lit it. She looked at me with those blue, blue eyes and smiled. Her story was obviously over and she was waiting my comments.

“Uhhh…interesting story. Are there any other concerns you have?” I didn’t really know how to respond to her story. What she had just told me spoke volumes and what little else I could discover for now would be redundant. At this point I just wanted all the technicalities worked and out and finished with so we could begin going through the porno magazines and trade ideas. Ellie had been the only girl in my life that had actually enjoyed looking at pornography with me and I remembered how excited it made it her. I wanted to see what effect it would have on Angel.

“Just s few,” she said as she nodded her head. She paused for a second before saying “I want to make something clear before we make anything final. You’re advertisement said that the work wouldn’t be pornographic and I want to be certain of just what that means. I’m not a prude or anything, but…well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m NOT going to let you fuck me. I just want to be honest with you before you commit yourself. You still have time to change your mind, you know.”

I had the urge to laugh, but I was lucky enough to conceal it.. My impotence was one of those cats that I had sedated and, for the time being at least, I didn’t want to awaken it. It was ironic that while Karen WANTED me to fuck her, I was instead going to hire a girl who WOULDN’T! Most men my age would have done the exact opposite, but then again most men my age weren’t impotent. At least as far as I knew.

“I’m interested in the tapes we’ll be making and I thought I’d made it perfectly clear in the advertisement that sex wasn’t required. Karen, the girl that interviewed with me this morning, offered herself to me and I turned her down. If you had offered yourself to me like she did I would have turned you down too. Out of curiosity, though, I’d like to know why? Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?”

It could have been sudden anger on her part, or perhaps hurt feelings, but her face fell and she snapped back. “No! I’m perfectly clean and healthy.”

“Are you a lesbian?”

“No to that question as well. You saw how I acted around the men in the bookstore. Do you think for one minute that I could have gotten that excited if I were a lesbian? I’ve had a few experiences with women, of course, but who hasn’t?”

Of course? It wasn’t so much what she was admitting that shocked me as it was the inclusion of that two word phrase. I had always been tolerant of other people’s sexual kinks and quirks, but by using the phrase ‘of course’ she was indicating that she considered lesbianism as normal. It was as if she didn’t want me to think poorly of her for being one hundred percent heterosexual. By simply asking a stupid question I had stumbled onto another truth about her. I suspected that she’d had a relationship with Toni, the Sorority sister that she shared the apartment with, but I wasn’t going to ask.

“You’re….you’re not a virgin are you?” She immediately burst out laughing. She tried controlling herself by finishing off the rest of her wine and then pushing her glass toward me. Obviously she wanted more.

As I refilled the glasses she said. “No offense, but I can’t believe you asked such a dumb, stupid question. When we were at the bookstore and you stuck your finger inside me did you feel a hymen?”

“No, but if you remember right I only got my finger in a short distance before you pulled it out.” This caused her to break out in laughter again.

I know this sounds incredibly shallow on my part, but I was on the verge of being angry. Its one thing to laugh when you find something funny to laugh at, but it’s quite another to laugh at the expense of another and I thought she was close to crossing that line. I had committed a faux pas, but that didn’t give her the right to laugh at me.

“Where’s your bathroom?” she asked between her periods of laughter. “I’ve got to get there quick or I’m going to pee all over the chair.” I pointed to the hallway and told her it was the first door on the right. Still giggling uncontrollably she stood up and raced naked down hallway.

**********

It was a full five minutes before I heard the sound of a flushing toilet and saw the door open. There was a smile on her face but at least she had stopped laughing.

“I’m sorry I laughed,” were the first words that came out of her mouth, “but it just struck me funny at the time. I was laughing at the situation and not at you. You’ll forgive me, won’t you?”

“There’s nothing to forgive” I said with complete sincerity. All thoughts of anger were suddenly erased with her apology. It was almost as if she had read my mind. “It was a stupid question and I wish I hadn’t asked it.”

“No, it was a perfectly logical question to ask. I love sex and I can’t think of a better feeling in the whole world than having a stiff cock inside me, but loving sex doesn’t make me a whore. If we’re going to be engaged in doing the things I THINK we’re going to be doing for the next month or so I don’t want get let fucking get in the way. I want to be able to say that I earned it in the right way, if you know what I mean. If I let you fuck me I know that I’d eventually start thinking that I was just being your whore instead of your model. Do you understand?”

“Under NO circumstances would I expect you or anyone else to have sex with me for money. I’ve never solicited sex from a prostitute and I never would. The main reason I worded the advertisement the way I did was to let every prospective applicant know EXACTLY where I was coming from.”

“But that just brings up another question. Karen read the same advertisement that I did. She knew that sex wasn’t a requirement for getting the job just like I did. She asked you, not the other way around.. SHE wanted to fuck and YOU refused HER. Why in the world would you pass up a free piece of ass?” “Huh?”

“You heard me. Why would you have declined a free fuck? I can understand why you worded the advertisement the way you did, and I can understand why you’ve never paid for sex and I can understand why you wouldn’t want to put the moves on either Karen or me, but she WANTED to be fucked. Why did you turn her down?”

I could have slapped myself for being so stupid. I had a bad feeling over how this was going to turn out. I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there looking at her with what I knew was a vacant smile.

“Do YOU have any diseases?”

“Yes, I have emphysema. But that’s not what you meant, was it? No, I don’t have AIDS or syphilis of gonorrhea. I’ve never had the displeasure of crabs or genital warts either. The closest I’ve come to having a sexually transmitted disease was in high school when I contracted mononucleosis, but since I’d never kissed a girl at that point in my life I probably picked it up from a toilet seat.”

“Are you gay?”

“You’ve got to be kidding? I’m almost sixty years old and I was married to wife Helen for twenty seven years. During that time I never cheated on her. I admit I masturbated occasionally and frequently had lust in my heart but that lust was never about another man.”

“Are you impotent?”

Bingo! I had been afraid from her very first question that she wouldn’t stop until she knew the truth. She wouldn’t fuck me, no, but she damn well wanted to know that I found her fuckable. I had accidentally gored my own ox when I began this line of enquiry and I had no one to blame but myself.

After a moments pause I admitted to her that yes, I was impotent.

Now that another cat had awakened and the truth had been revealed I needed to listen to endless condolences. She apologized profusely over and over and over again for asking me that question. Had I just admitted to having a sexually transmitted disease or being gay she wouldn’t have been so condescending, but it was too late to go back and amend my answers. I was stuck with the truth and I had to live with it.

I began explaining how emphysema works and how some of the drugs that I was taking made me impotent. There was more to it than that, of course, but I’d rather blame the drugs than take responsibility for my own condition. That, in turn, led to a history of my smoking, the circumstances of Helen’s death, and the guilt I felt over having been responsible for her addiction. I should have stopped there, but instead I continued. I told her about the years when Helen had denied me sex, which meant I had to tell her about the night she’d gone wild, the fantasy couple who I had seen in the bar, my short lived relationship with Ellie and finally about my mother and the succession of my temporary uncles. By the time I had finished I had told her my entire life’s story. The only thing I consciously omitted was the unexplained erection on the drive back from the bookstore. Since she wasn’t going to fuck me anyway, I saw no reason to bring that up.

“I’m sorry I bored you with all that,” I said when I finally finished. “I don’t usually go into so much detail. I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest.”

“It’s OK. I didn’t mind. I find it refreshing when I hear someone tell the story of their life with so much honesty. Most people brag too much,, but you’re different. After listening to you I think I’ll be more honest when I tell you mine. I’m sure that at least once during my employment there will come a time when I’ll be in the mood to get something off my chest too, so just remember that when it comes – IF it comes - don’t get pissed off or bored or anything.”

I looked down at her bare tits and then grinned. “You have to put something ON your chest in order to take it OFF,” I said. In my mind I was writing another note to myself. The note read “Remember to ask for the story of her life”

**********

While Angel spread the magazines in front of her on the table I opened another bottle of wine and filled both our glasses. I sat the bottle on the table nearer to her than to me; I was already feeling the effects and decided that this would be the last glass for me. And if this glass WASN”T the last then the next one would be.

For sure.

“I’ve been dying to see what’s inside “Sex in Public” ever since we left the store. Can we look through that one first?” Before I could answer she quickly bit into the protective cellophane wrapping and ripped it off. As she spit it out she said, “I hope the pictures on the inside are as hot as the one on the cover.”

I’ve always been hesitant in using vulgar language around women – No doubt a result of growing up in the forties and fifties - but the wine had loosened me up enough that I wasn’t above some thinly veiled sexual innuendos. “You do a pretty good number with your teeth,” I quipped, pointing at the torn cellophane she had spit out. “Have you ever hurt anybody?”

“If you keep coming up with double entendres like that I may start to like you.”

“You don’t like me now?”

“Yeah, I like you, but I’d like you better if you weren’t so shy. You seem awfully strait laced for someone who advertises in the newspaper for naked girls.”

“I’m not straight laced.” I said. “Inside my head I’m just as dirty minded as you are.”

“Really? Then prove it. Show me your dick.”

“Are you kidding me?” I shot back. I was shocked that she would ask that.. The wine had loosened me up, yes, but not to the extent that I would do that. There was no way I was going to simply unzip my pants and let her see the flaccid little worm that hung helplessly between my legs. Helen had trained me well, and the residuals of that training still haunted me. A prelude to lovemaking always meant a hug and a kiss, followed by my hands cupped over her breasts or her derriere, but only AFTER the hug and the kiss, and THEN only when she had responded favorably. One thing needed to be followed by another and I always feared taking things out of order, or hurrying too much, or making any of the other mistakes that I was always prone to make. It was a ritual and there was little room for spontaneity. Only after the ritual was completed was I allowed to make love to her. God help me if I had ever started by simply unzipping my pants and waving my dick at her!

I’m exaggerating, of course, but the truth wasn’t far off. Helen rarely enjoyed spontaneity, and she wasn’t particularly fond of experimentation either. She did enjoy sex, or at least I think she did, but only in certain positions and only when no one was home and she felt safe. Ironically we both thought that sex was ‘dirty and nasty’ The differences was that I embraced the nastiness of it all while she refused to give in to animal side. In short, she enjoyed making love while I enjoyed fucking, and while the ends might seem the same, the means were quite different. I guess you could say that we both enjoyed orgasms, but the ways of achieving it were on completely different ends of the bell shaped curve.

“So let me see your dick,” she said again.

”No,” I said, as I took a huge gulp of my wine.

“No? So let me get this straight, you expect me to get naked whenever and wherever you ask me to, and you’re not willing to do the same for me?”

“There are a couple of big differences. In the first place I’m your employer and I’m paying you to do it. I should also remind you that you’re young, sexy, and female while I’m old, shriveled, and male. Men are considered perverts when they take off their clothes and show their bodies while women who do the same thing are considered sexually liberated and get a lot of job offers. It’s a cultural thing.”

“In that case I’m glad I told you that you couldn’t fuck me. If we did fuck you’d probably want to do it in bed with the lights turned off and the covers pulled up to our chins.”

“With the exception of Ellie, who I’ve already told you about, and the few times that Helen would allow it, that’s pretty much the way it’s been, but let’s not fight. OK? Why don’t you open up the magazine and see what’s inside. Maybe we can get some good ideas.” I wanted to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. I was afraid that if it continued the way it was going she’d eventually ask me to show her my dick again, and I wasn’t going to do that unless by some miracle I got another erection.

“It’s not as good inside as it is on the cover,” she said with a disappointed look when she finished flipping through the pages. “There’s nothing in here with the girl and the guy at the Marina. Most of the pictures were taken outside but only a few are really in public. Most of them seem to be taken on deserted beaches and in secluded places where no one could see them. The only ones that are really in public is this set that was taken on a balcony.” She passed the magazine across the table to me and then took another drink of her wine.

The pictures were of a couple in what looked to be mid twenties, and they both had perfect bodies. They were on a hotel room balcony perhaps six floors from the ground. It was daytime and they were both completely naked. The iron bars that walled the perimeter of the balcony were spaced wide enough apart that the heavy traffic on the boulevard below couldn’t help but see them if they had been looking up. The balcony was decorated with a glass topped patio table with two chairs and a large furry rug on the cement floor with two matching throw pillows. The photos were of them having sex in a variety of sexual positions, the most daring of which was of her bent over the balcony and waving to the cars below while he pumped into her from behind. They were all extremely explicit.