Apprehended Ch. 16

I awoke to the smell of bacon. My mouth watered and I rolled over, reaching out for Ethan.

He wasn't there.

I blinked to rid my eyes of blurriness and weariness; freezing as I was bombarded with images of what took place last night.

Ethan and I made love.

Holy shit.

Oh, fucking hell.

Ethan and I made love.

Heat exploded from my face and I grabbed a pillow and covered my head in embarrassment. It smelled like him.

I remembered everything, including the inexplicable pain afterwards. Ethan had some explaining to do.

I tossed the pillow and got up, everything going, whoa nelly as soon as my legs had to support my weight. I stumbled a bit to the bathroom and absently flicked on the light. I had to pee desperately. When I was finished, I made quick work of brushing my teeth and grabbed a shirt that was folded near the sink.

I smiled. Ethan must have left it for me.

I sniffed it. It smelled like fresh laundry and him. God, even his scent drove me crazy. I pulled it over my head and scratched my head, glancing at the mirror quickly before shutting off the light.

I froze.

And screamed at the top of my lungs.

"OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!"

Ethan came running, his loud footfalls causing the furniture in the room to shake. "ANNIE!" he called out, "ANNIE, WHERE ARE YOU?"

I could hear the panic in his voice. But it was nothing compared to my own.

He collided into the bathroom door, the hinges moaning unpleasantly. I turned, just as tears obstructed my vision, and pointed at the mirror with a trembling hand. "What is this?!" I yelled-though not as loudly as I screamed before.

He followed the direction of my finger. "What?! Are you alright?! Why the fuck are you yelling?! I thought you were hurt!"

I stomped my bare foot against the tiled floor. "Ethan!"

"What?!" he repeated, just as loudly.

I now pointed to my eyes and hair. "What is this?!"

"What? Your eyes?"

I slapped his shoulder. He didn't budge-the immovable bastard. "Yes!!!!!"

"Alright, alright, calm down, okay. Relax."

"Relax?" I squeaked. "Look at me Ethan! Look at me! How can I relax?!"

He had the nerve to break out into a giant smile.

Ugh.

"You look stunning, my Luna."

I scoffed and jabbed him with a finger. "You tell me what's going on right now, Ethan Dominque Dune, or so help me, I'm going to leave!"

His smile disappeared instantly, and he growled. "You wouldn't."

Flustered, angry and confused, I pushed passed him with the intent of leaving the room and going downstairs to cool off; but something stopped me. Something...inexplicable and powerful. Like an invisible force, it didn't allow me to leave the fucking room. I began to sweat, attempting to break free of the nagging, incessant force willing me to stay.

It hurt to leave.

I would die if I left.

I needed him more than the air that I breathed.

He chuckled low in the back of his throat. "You can't do it, can you?"

I blew out a frustrated breath. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, yes you do. You cannot leave me, can you, female? Admit it. You feel the pull just as much as I do."

Willing my body to move, I took a painful, forced step outside of the bedroom...and recoiled in a pain that hurt but didn't quite hurt. It was difficult to describe the conflicting emotions. However, one thing was abundantly clear: I could not and would not leave Ethan like this. Not when I was so angry and unresolved.

I cursed and turned, making my way back into the room. Tears fell from my eyes at the blatant confusion and sheer power it took to fight off the urge to come back to him.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms for me.

Like a moth to a flame, I obeyed, nearly collapsing into his embrace. I melted into him, the feeling that had washed over me mere seconds ago, gone in an instant.

I sighed at the relief; at having him complete me once more...as if a piece of myself would rip apart if I left.

He kissed the top of my head and stroked my back gently. "Isn't that better? Being in my arms?"

I nodded against him, soaking his shirt in my tears.

"I know you're scared. I know you're confused. And I will explain everything, alright?"

"Yes," I said, believing every word.

He kissed my head once more and gently pulled me away from his massive body. He led me to the bed, where I sat down. He went to his knees before me and spoke; forever changing my world.

"When we made love last night, Annie...we joined. Not only bodies...but...souls."

He looked at me, watching my every move as I processed that. Somehow, it made perfect sense. He didn't even need to explain it. I felt it as much as I heard it. Like a connection, I knew he was being one hundred percent honest with me.

But I still had more questions. "Why do I have similar eyes like yours?" I asked, stuffily wiping my nose with my hand. Ethan got up to grab a tissue and handed it to me before resuming his spot in front of me. "And my hair? It's the exact same shade as yours."

He nodded, wiping away a few tears with his thumb. "One soul, one body, one mind. You understand? It's like we are one, sweetheart. That includes certain physical attributes. But because you are human and I am not, its affecting you physically. Had you been a wolf, we both would've shared physical traits. That pull that you felt when you were attempting to leave while angry with me...that was the joining. That is our shared link." He reached out, placing a warm, gentle hand against my chest...atop my beating heart. "I know you feel it. I feel it too. So much stronger than you, as I am inhuman, and these are the ways of the wolf. It's so powerful that I didn't know how to simply leave you sleeping to make you breakfast in bed without telling you where I was going first."

I sniffled. "How are we ever going to be apart?" I asked.

He smiled, his beautiful skin igniting in the light of the sun. "I want to tell you that it gets easier with time. But that would be a lie. And I would never lie to you. The truth is: it will always feel this way; this insatiable pull towards each other. We cope. We talk. We deal. But for every minute of every day, we will always long for each other when we're apart. When we argue, we cannot leave each other. Like all joining's, unresolved disputes prevent us from leaving one another until we make the joint decision of leaving. On our own terms. Together in the decision to separate."

My eyes widened in horror as an uninhibited image of his mother flashed through my mind. I gasped, unable to stop myself from feeling the pain she must have felt against his father's wrath. "Your mother..." was all I could say.

His smiled faltered briefly and I could see and feel the pain etched into his memory when he thought of her suffering. "She couldn't leave him, Annie. He couldn't leave her."

"But how could he hurt her without hurting himself?" I whispered.

Ethan shrugged. "I honestly don't know how either of them did it. I still don't understand how he could physically harm her. A male's protective instincts override all else. The fact that he could withstand it is something I will never fathom." He offered me a weak smile before leaning in to give me a soft kiss. When he pulled way, I reached out for more and he complied easily, giving me a few more kisses. "Alright," he said, having as much difficulty as I was when pulling away. "As much as I would love to ravish you for breakfast, sweet Luna, you really must eat. Last night was difficult for you."

I thought about what took place. "What was that?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck. I had to touch him. He had become my new drug. I played with his hair at his nape.

His closed his eyes briefly at the contact and smiled before answering my question and focusing. "The joining of body and soul. It's not an easy process for the female."

"Is it like that for female wolves too?" I asked, curiously.

"Yes, my love."

I absently touched my neck, feeling the puncture wounds. "You bit me," I pointed out.

"I'm sorry about that," he said softly. "I had to. The joining requires blood. Blood from thy female to drink within thy male; an everlasting bond of sacrificial beginnings. Had I not drank from you, you could've potentially died; as the joining was not fully completed." He saw the horror register on my face and he continued, soothing me with an explanation. "Relax, Sol Luna. I would never allow that to happen. Your life depended on me drinking your very essence. That essence bonds us together. A union that is unbreakable. I needed you just as much as you needed me. Remember, you di-"

"Die, I die," I interrupted, finishing his sentence.

"Aye, love. One cannot live without the other. Even a partial joining can kill the remaining mate, no matter the incompletion. We were already connected."

I wiped my nose with the tissue. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"If I did, would you have done it?"

I considered that. "I honestly don't know."

"Exactly. I needed you, Annie. I need you now. I'll always need you. Had you said no, we would have been left in a strong, unfinished bond. One that was still strong enough to kill either of us in the event we separated or died. I couldn't take that risk. Not even for me. But strictly for you. I will never let anything happen to you. Ever."

He reached up to cup my face in his hand and I melted into his touch.

His eyes burned as he stared. "You're amazingly beautiful, sweet female. My features were made for you...just as you were made for me." He leaned in to kiss my forehead and pulled away too soon. "Now," he added, releasing me and offering me his hands. "Come. Let's get you something to eat."

My stomach rumbled and I obeyed, nearly draping myself on top of him as he led me to the kitchen. He laughed and kissed the top of my head again. "What did you make?" I asked.

"The question is, what didn't I make? I made pancakes, eggs, bacon, French toast, muffins, coffee, waffles, sausages and...oatmeal."

I swear I gaped.

He laughed. "What?"

"Why did you make soooooo much food? I can't possibly eat it all."

He laughed again and lifted his shirt to pat his flat stomach. "I'm hungry. Have you seen how large I am?"

I giggled. "Oh, I know you're always hungry. It's actually quite amusing to watch."

He poked my side as we made it to a bar stool. I laughed. He picked me up and sat me down, planting a quick kiss on my lips before heading into the kitchen to over stack my plate. "My queen," he said, placing the plates in front of me.

Holy shit.

There was enough to feed an entire country here.

Ethan got some more plates and added them to the others, taking a seat next to me to eat. "What do you want first?" he asked.

I pointed to the bacon. "I'm really craving some bacon actually."

He picked out a juicy piece and fed it to me. He did this repeatedly, feeding me from his hand the various dishes he made. When I was full, I had to lightly smack him away.

"No, Ethan. If you keep feeding me, I'm going to vomit."

He laughed. "Then I'll have to feed you again, won't I, love?"

I playfully nudged his shoulder. He didn't feed me anymore, however, and took his time eating his own meal. When he was finished, he turned to look at me, an odd feature passing across his face.

"What?" I asked, suddenly feeling nauseous and sick.

He shook his head, breaking out in a sweat instantly.

"Are you okay? What's the matter?"

He paled and sat up, the bar stool clattering to the floor with a loud thud.

"Ethan!" I said, confused and a little afraid. "What the hell?"

He looked at me, his skin pasty white. "Something's wrong," he said, his voice breaking involuntarily.

"With you? You don't feel good?"

To be honest, I was no longer feeling good either. Whatever was going on with him was affecting me due to our joining. I wanted to throw up.

"No," he replied, peeling his eyes away from me to look around. He stole a glance outside. "Something isn't right...shit..."

He moved fast, opening the main door to the cabin so violently, the door flew off its hinges and landed on the floor with a resounding clatter of splintered wood.

I screamed and jumped back, nearly falling on my ass.

Ethan turned. "Calm down, Luna," he said, his eyes unfocused and shifting frantically. "Calm down."

I knew he was no longer trying to placate me. He was attempting to ease himself. Whatever was going on with him was severe. So severe, he could barely keep himself from keeling over.

"Ethan?"

A male voice called out to him, waiting just beyond the main doorway, where Ethan had broken the door off the frame.

It was Gavin.

And he did not look good.

Ethan froze, his eyes on Gavin and his muscles straining. "Tell me," he said in a voice that sounded foreign and filled with agony.

I didn't understand what was happening, but I felt it. Ethan's emotions were tangible and strong. It was a bombardment of reactions-both his and my own; an overwhelming array to compute.

It made me falter and I had to grab the couch to steady myself. It took Gavin a moment to speak, and what he said next made my blood run cold.

"It's Edwin," he said, taking a single step forward.

The world seemed to shift with that one, painful step, and his words carried a dread that silenced the world. Even the birds were quiet up here.

Ethan was quiet.

Too quiet.

I knew what Gavin was going to say before the words spilled from his lips.

"He's dead."

***

There were now a lot of things I was certain of when it came to my newfound mate. The joining connected us in such a way, that things appeared different to me now. A new angle. A new edge. A new point of view. It was fresh and a little raw. I could feel him. All around me and within me. It held power and was felt so immensely, I thought I would break apart from its severity.

This is how I knew that Ethan was the strongest male I knew. He was steady in his resolve. Intelligent in his decision-making, and calm when there was cause for panic. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd see Ethan at any given weak-point. Fear was not something he showed or slowed down for. His sheer strength, size and willpower held him true. It never failed him.

Until now.

Like a bullet, Gavin's words slammed into Ethan, causing irrevocable damage. The damage that I was now sharing with him and feeling alongside him. Though it was not my pain, I felt each wave of agony as if it were my own.

I could never fathom losing him. If Gavin carried such grave news to me, I knew without a doubt that I would die, unable to survive the loss of him and our joining. He had become my purpose.

I never realized that the clan was connected in a similar, less-powerful, union. Yet, despite being so much weaker, it still carried weight. Even more so with Ethan's very own bloodied brother.

A cry of immeasurable anguish pierced the thick silence. It pained me in ways I cannot explain. I fell to my knees, unable to hold myself up...no longer able to contain the sorrow within my chest.

Ethan fell to his own knees, collapsing into a great ball of anguish. His voice, harsh and broken, cried out; a sound of a male losing a piece of himself.

His only brother.

Gavin came inside with Jared and Richen close behind. They circled around Ethan and fell to their own knees, reaching a hand out to touch a part of him in unison. They lowered their heads and grieved in silence.

The strength when their Alpha no longer had any left.

I could tell that they were falling apart but were brave for the sake of Ethan. I looked at them closely, noticing the blood on their clothing and the bruises on their flesh. I rose and approached, lightly touching Gavin's shoulder. "Are any of you hurt?" I asked, trying to hold back my own tears.

They looked up at me, catching sight of my eyes and hair. They were so like Ethan's. As one, they too rose...lifting Ethan up and bearing his weight when he could not. As one, they all turned to face me. Including Ethan, who-for the first time-had tears streaming down his beautiful face.

"Your Luna," said Gavin, gently nudging him towards me. "She needs you. You need her. Go," he urged, nudging him one last time. "Go to your mate, brother."

Ethan stared at me, his pain, now my pain...and all but threw himself at me. His body collided into mine with force and I nearly fell back.

But Ethan would never let me fall.

He held me closely...tightly...like I was his lifeline, when in reality, he was mine. "Annie," he said, shoving his face into my neck. "My precious female." He kissed my neck and continued to hug me, unwilling to let go.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there, clinging to each other crying, but our legs gave out and we ended up on the floor, two bodies meshed into one. Eventually, when we were depleted, and our tears ran dry, Ethan pulled away to look at me, his eyes red and swollen. He reached out to wipe my tears away, still putting me before all else. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice thick and heavy.

Was I okay? I wanted to laugh even though there was nothing funny about this situation. He was concerned about me, when he was the one who just lost his only brother. "I'm more concerned about you," I said, softly. It was my turn to wipe his tears away with my thumbs. I kissed his eyelids, pained by the sight of my large, strong male in agony. "Are you okay?"

He sighed and gathered me onto his lap, where he tucked my head under his chin and simply sat there in no rush to leave. "I will be. As long as I have you."

We sat there for a long time. Simply breathing in each other's arms. It was comforting to know that we weren't alone anymore. That we were together. The thought that Edwin did not witness his brother's happiness was not lost on me. But I could not dwell on something that could not be changed.

Eventually, Ethan stood up with me in his arms and he carried me to our room, where he placed me on our bed and pressed a kiss to my temple. I was tired and felt heavy with grief. Whether it was his grief or mine didn't matter. The heaviness was still there, bearing down on me like a weight I couldn't hold. "I'm going to find out what happened...assess the body...and bring him home."

I cried anew, unable to imagine how he could tolerate seeing his brother's body. I had never seen a dead body in person. Nor did I want to. But for Ethan, I was willing to walk through fire.

As if knowing what I was thinking, he shook his head and pressed a gentle finger to my lips. "No, my love. No. I'm doing this alone. I will not allow you to see such violence."

"I don't want you to be alone," I said, pressing a kiss to his finger.

He sighed wearily and rand a hand over his face. For the first time since I've met him, he looked...older. All-knowing. I didn't know his age. To me, he looked like a young man. However, now, he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"I protected him," he said, quietly. I had to move closer to hear him. I could tell he was struggling. "When we were little...he would get scared of my old man abusing my mother...and I would go to him after I listened to my mother crying. I hated to see him afraid. He was so young. Little. Frail. And innocent. I vowed to shield him from the horrors of my childhood. I fought to keep him protected." He ran a finger down the length of my face. "Just like I protect you..." He shook his head and pulled away, attempting to gain his composure. He rid his eyes of moisture roughly and cleared his throat. "Stay in the house. Don't go anywhere. I have my cell phone. Yours is in the kitchen charging. Call me if you need me. I'll be here within a moment. Alright?"

I nodded against the tear-stained pillow. "Yes, Ethan."