Apprehended Ch. 20

Apprehended: Chapter Twenty

I awoke Christmas morning sore and utterly depleted.

Ethan kept me awake most of the night, pleasuring me until our bodies were permanently merged into one. Several times, I had fallen asleep and Ethan let me be...only to wake me up again and slip inside of me, wanting more...needing more.

I never denied him.

I never would.

I wanted and needed him in the same way; with reckless abandon and destructive longing.

I sighed wearily and got off the bed, slowly making my way into the bathroom to pee. Ethan was sound asleep...and...

Snoring?

I turned and waited in silence near the bathroom, stifling my giggle when I heard him snore loudly on the inhale.

He never snored.

Apparently he tired himself out last night with our near-constant lovemaking.

I made my way into the bathroom naked, smiling at how cute Ethan could be despite his aggressive nature, wild animal, and Alpha dominance.

I flicked on the light and sat on the toilet, humming lowly to myself as I peed...

And froze as a sudden realization reared its ugly head. A realization that had eluded me due to circumstance. One so significant, I was rendered momentarily dumbfounded for a few tense minutes, and as I sat there, listening to Ethan snore in ignorant bliss, I felt the true weight of it upon my shoulders-pushing me down and forcing me to acknowledge it:

My period.

My horrid monthly reminder that had yet to arrive.

When was the last time I received it? Two months ago? Three?

I wasn't sure. I was always irregular, but this lapse seemed to be rather large. At least...I think it was. I usually received it every two months or so. Jerry always used a rubber.

I winced at that.

No matter how brutal he was, that was the one rule he never compromised. And I knew why he was so adamant to use protection: he never wanted children. Even more so, with someone like me.

Someone fat.

Someone disgusting.

I felt my face flush and tears well. I knew it was ridiculous to cry, but sometimes the pains of the past affected the present; sneaking into the cracks of happiness and ruining what little normalcy remained.

I didn't want children with Jerry. I didn't want anything with Jerry, really. Children least of all. Having a male such as that as a father would be a condemnation I was unwilling to impose upon an innocent. It would be a prison. One filled with abuse and pain. So much anguish.

I sniffled and forced myself to keep it together. I was assuming and overreacting.

Except...even as I told myself that I was overdramatizing...there could always be a possibility. A, what if, lingering and hovering like a heavy weight; its pressure now an immense, potent presence.

What if...

I lifted my hands and began counting off fingers, trying to remember my last period.

I couldn't.

But I did have it on my phone.

I flushed the toilet and cleaned up, exiting the bathroom quietly despite the fear running through my core. Despite the all-consuming terror gripping my heart.

I was never this careless. Never this reckless...only...ever since Ethan took me, my mind was a little preoccupied. I was too busy worrying about my situation. I didn't have time to think about my cycle. I nearly died...which was more than enough to put it on a backburner. Though it was not intentional, it was nonetheless irresponsible.

Neglectful.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and turned it on, praying that Ethan didn't delete my period tracking app.

And sighed in relief when I saw it on my screen.

I tapped in the passcode, quickly heading into the calendar to check my last cycle...

Fuck.

Son of a bitch.

It was over two months ago.

Suddenly, I remembered vomiting...and feeling sick...queasy. I remembered not eating enough and Ethan urging me to drink liquids. Like an unstoppable tidal wave, it barraged me with every little nuance of warning.

Ethan and Gavin and Richen watching me oddly; there eyes seeing something that I clearly was unaware of.

However, Ethan wouldn't hide something of this magnitude from me...if he knew without a doubt...would he? Wouldn't he scent it? Wouldn't he know that something was different?

I shut my phone off and placed it back on the nightstand with trembling fingers, unwilling to feed into speculation or assumptions.

Then I shifted my gaze down to my naked stomach...at my blatant thickness...my rolls...my body.

Would it be difficult to tell? Was there even a small possibility?

I grew nervous and blanched, feeling sick.

Dear god.

I turned to look at Ethan, who was still snoring...unaware of my dilemma.

Our possible dilemma.

I shook my head.

No.

I wasn't.

I couldn't possibly be.

But that small, nagging doubt crept in...tickling its way into my fragile attempt of denial. I looked down at my stomach again and gently placed my hand over it. My eyes flicked to Ethan quickly.

If it were true, would he be furious? Would he blame me? I mean, he wasn't exactly practicing safe sex either. In fact, he never seemed to mind it at all. He never had doubts. At least, not like any other normal male.

Only...Ethan wasn't a normal male.

I had been here long enough for it to be a possibility. And Ethan had done well enough to ensure it when he made love to me.

He never pulled out. He never used protection.

As if he intended for this to happen? As if there could be a chance he did it on purpose?

No.

He wouldn't do that.

Surely, he wouldn't.

Then again, he would always make sure he released himself thoroughly and completely.

I closed my eyes at a memory. Him telling me to take him. To take all of him.

I wasn't really sure what that meant. I merely accepted it as a moment of raw passion; a man losing himself during a time of need and vulnerability.

But Ethan was smart. Too smart to slip-up on something of this scale. This wasn't something he would cause accidentally. He always knew what he was doing. Making mistakes could cause a loss of life. He was controlled; never wavering or faltering.

This wasn't any different.

I looked down at my stomach again. The thought of being pregnant with Ethan's young terrified the shit out of me.

I must have made a sound. I was too lost to track it. Too in my own head to really care at this point. This was a nightmare; a possibility too frightening to ponder.

But Ethan must have heard it. Of course he did.

He sat up abruptly, his eyes instantly focused and his weariness vanishing at the possibility of me being harmed in any way, shape, or form. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, shifting across the bed to sit behind me. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head no and instantly released my hold on my stomach, feeling my face flush.

Hopefully, he didn't catch it. Hopefully, he didn't see or smell my sudden distress.

Of course...I was wrong.

His brows furrowed and he eyed me intently. "Feeling sick again?"

I forced a smile. "Just a little nausea," I said. I waited in trepidation; hoping-against all odds-that my lie would be sufficient. That Ethan would accept my answer without suspicion. That he wouldn't scent anything other than the truth. The truth of possibility. One that I was too scared to delve into. One that frightened me. One that spoke of a responsibility that was irreversible.

And one that I would have to explain to Ethan.

That alarmed me more than anything. I wasn't sure why. But it did. It most definitely did.

Thankfully, my answer placated him...at least, for now.

I nearly exhaled in relief, grateful for the diversion.

He grabbed his phone. "I'll call the Doc. He can check on you to make sure you're alright."

I nearly jumped out of my skin, snatching his phone and all but screaming, "No!"

He dropped his arms, resting his weight on his elbow. "Why not?" he asked.

I shrugged and feigned disinterest; as if it were no big deal. "It's Christmas," I said, quickly. "I don't want to spend it getting checked for a mere stomach bug."

He stood quiet momentarily, watching me. "You've been a little sick to your stomach for quite a while," he pointed out.

Dammit.

I cleared my throat to keep my composure. "No, really, I'm fine. I'll just pop an antacid and I'll feel much better."

He sighed deeply, looking tired. "Fine," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He yawned. "But if you feel sick tomorrow, I'm calling him."

I could live with that. It offered time. Time to formulate...something...I wasn't sure.

Ethan got up and headed into the bathroom, naked and splendid. I tried to ignore the butterflies that took flight in my stomach at the sight of his beauty.

There were others matters to attend to: such that my period was late. Really late.

I was also shocked that he gave in so easily. Usually, he would argue and get his way. His dominance didn't allow room for negotiations or requests. But I would take it. Without question. I couldn't handle this right now. Not with him watching me like a hawk. Not with him so connected to me.

It was too much.

This was too much...

And I was unquestionably ill-equipped.

***

Ethan hovered over me like a very large butterfly.

It was absolutely galling!

I took a sip of water and managed to sneak away near the kitchen. The party was in full-bloom. Christmas music was playing. The entire clan was here; the space crammed with impossibly huge male bodies.

Everyone was talking, drinking, eating, and laughing. They were mingling and wearing festive hats...dresses and actual clothing. Most of the time, the clan was naked. Unashamedly naked.

But Ethan was stringent that we celebrate Christmas like, "normal," people. Whatever that meant. There was nothing normal here. I mean, sure, gifts were exchanged. Adoration was shared. The clan was united in that way; an unbreakable, connected force, with Ethan on the forefront.

I shuffled further into the kitchen as Ethan talked and laughed with a few males. He held a beer in his hand, leaning against the fireplace mantle with ease and hidden power.

Earlier, he emerged from the bathroom looking...delectable.

A light blue, buttoned-down shirt. Black slacks and sleek, black loafers. His hair was wrapped in a tight bun without a single tendril spilling free. It was thick and sleek. It was clean and dangerous. His beard only added to the effect; fuller and dark...so dark.

A few top buttons were undone, revealing a sprinkling of his dark chest hair, and I found myself staring a little too much. My gaze lingering longer than necessary.

It had to be a little unhealthy...right?

I took another sip of water with my stomach in knots. I had chosen a red, frumpy sweater...deliberately.

It covered most of my body-particularly my stomach- and fell down to my knees. It was Ethan's...and it was rather garish. He never used it and I understood why. It was thick and ill-shaped.

But I wore it anyway with the intent to hide myself. I didn't want any attention. I didn't want anyone to stare or become intrigued for any reason whatsoever.

I tossed on some leggings and left my hair loose: a frazzled, knotted, and wavy mess that was sure to frighten anyone. I left my face bare, too lost in my own head to give a damn about lip-gloss or mascara. Quite frankly, hosting a Christmas party in Ethan's cabin was not something I really wanted to entertain.

Especially when my mind was burdened with anxiety.

I tried my very best to hide it from Ethan, which was a complete waste of time. Of course, Ethan knew something was bothering me. Hence, his incessant hovering.

Ugh.

He barely let me out of his sight; either watching me or following me around like some sort of lost puppy. And although I knew he did it out of concern for me, it was the very last thing I needed right now.

Ethan had ordered food. So much food and drink that the mere sight of it was thunderously sickening.

I swallowed back the urge to vomit; little warning bells going off in my head. I finished the rest of my water in a rush, attempting to purge my mouth of bitterness and dread. I turned to toss the cup away and shoved my body further into the darkened corner of the kitchen-away from the fridge.

I lost my view of Ethan from here, and I folded my arms across my chest, feeling cold and tired. I shifted my gaze to Gavin and Lily as they talked. Ethan invited her and I smiled at the gesture. He took care of his Beta, no matter how angry he was with Gavin. Having Lily here was no doubt a gift to his cousin.

And Gavin all but growled his claim on her when she entered, looking flushed at the sight of his otherworldly beauty. Ethan had made it explicitly clear to all clan members that they mind their tongue around her; as she knew nothing of their world. However, he did urge Gavin to tell her as much as he could without frightening her. She needed to know. She was his and lying to her wouldn't help his situation if he wanted her here with him.

I could tell by the way she laughed at one of his whispered jokes that he hadn't told her yet...and in some small way, I understood his hesitation. It was a lot to sift through; a complete shift in reality that she would have to gauge in her own time and in her own way.

I shifted to refocus on Ethan, and as if sensing my gaze, he turned to stare. He mouthed a silent question. One that was simple.

Are you okay?

I nodded and offered a small, genuine smile. No matter how much he hovered, I knew he was doing it out of love. He was sweet and caring; constantly thinking of me and my well-being.

My smile seemed to ease him and he too grinned, exposing his dimples with a wink. I felt my cheeks flush at his flagrant beauty and his shoulders shook as he chuckled, noticing my blush.

"As I live and breathe."

I jerked my head to the left as a melodious voice drifted into the cabin. It instantly quieted the crowd as the Christmas music continued to play in the background.

A female entered, looking as lovely and otherworldly as a celestial being. She was extravagant-with long, flowing white hair and skin as pale as snow. Her eyes were quite captivating: an odd, shimmering shade of silver. She wore a gown of white silk; the material flying across the hardwood as she walked, resembling a wispy, floating, and graceful cloud. There were two, long cuts in the fabric, revealing pale legs and bare, delicate feet. A sheer, glittering shawl covered her slender shoulders; it too flowing freely to the ground.

She was stunning.

She smiled warmly; her eyes fixed on...Ethan.

I stared between the two. He was focused on her, moving away from the males to greet her.

"Sabina," he said, offering a smile.

My eyes widened in disbelief.

This was the leader of the neighboring female clan? This was the female pining over Ethan? As his mate?

I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat, not really sure what to do with this information. She was not what I expected. I imagined a darker female. One with sadistic, evil eyes. Not this...this...dazzling beauty.

I shuffled further into the kitchen to avoid attention, watching Ethan from the corner.

She beamed as she stared at him, obviously as captivated by his beauty as I was. She stretched to her tip-toes and softly pressed a kiss to each of his cheeks. She was tall for a female. Much taller than I.

And I didn't like the way she held his shoulders as she greeted him, unwilling to release her hold even after she presented him with her kisses.

Ethan gently took a step away from her, her arms falling to her sides.

"Happy Christmas," she said in a voice like silk. She had an accent I couldn't quite place.

"Happy Christmas to you as well. Though I am uncertain why you are here, Sabina."

She laughed, the sound tinkling...and unnerving. "I heard that you were throwing a party. You do know that I simply adore parties...don't you Dom?"

Dom? I didn't realize that they were on a middle name basis.

Ethan shrugged absently. "Nothing big as you can see." He looked to his clan and urged them to continue with the celebration.

They obeyed, talking, and mingling amongst themselves once more. Though Richen, Gavin and Jared kept their eyes on her like hawks.

"Is there a reason for this celebration?" she inquired. She folded her arms over her busty chest, accentuating her assets.

"Christmas," he replied.

"Interesting," she cooed. She had hunger in her eyes; a hunger for my Ethan.

A large part of me grew jealous. She had no right to stake a claim on him. He was mine. Mine. Only...I knew I couldn't proclaim that publicly. Especially to the likes of her. She looked rather aggressive underneath the façade of beauty.

"Is it that you wished to celebrate the holiday...or was there another reason?" she continued.

Ethan shifted slightly, his eyes darkening. I could tell that she was setting him on-edge. I was that in-tune with him; in his movements and his emotions. "Am I supposed to know what you're implying?" he asked, clenching his jaw.

She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. Then she laughed eerily and coldly. "Oh do stop jesting, Dom. I heard of your mate that you claimed so recently." She glanced around the room, looking for the female that had Ethan completely.

"Who told you that?" Ethan asked.

She smiled and waved a delicate hand in the air absently. "Oh, never you mind. May I meet her? Is she here?"

Ethan growled and took a step closer to her, the room falling silent once more. Gavin and Richen walked over, taking a stance behind him like looming monsters. "Mind your manners, female," he grit out.

She took a step back and looked away. It seemed Ethan's dominance knew no bounds. Even she could not go against his Alpha. However, she seemed to take a certain pleasure in his dominance; expressing a repulsive liking to submission. She cleared her throat and forced a smile, gauging her emotions. "I do not mean to offend," she said, lightly. "I only wish to meet the female that took your heart. Is that a crime?"

Ethan sighed and blew out a frustrated breath. "I deem it however I see fit," he spat. "You do not need to meet my female. Clear out."

She licked her full pink lips, unwilling to leave. "Oh, please, Dom. I mean no harm. Won't you indulge me?"

"No."

I realized that she was ruining the party, that she was causing a public display of attempted defiance in hopes to claim a male she would never have. Ethan had briefly told me of her callousness...and her unrelenting ability to hold a grudge.

Without thinking, I cleared my throat and began walking towards Ethan. I don't know why I did it. I hated unwanted attention. I hated being put on display. But something in me cracked. I didn't like her so close to Ethan. I didn't like the way she spoke to him. And I certainly didn't like the way she looked at him-like he was something she had to have.

I couldn't allow that. I wouldn't allow that.

He was mine.

Plain and simple.

I knew I could never fight her. She was stronger than I. She was so much prettier as well. But I wasn't going to think about that. I wasn't going to compare...because I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had.

Ethan.

And he was worth a little embarrassment.

I heard him utter a low curse as he gave Jared his cup. With a scowl, he opened his arm for me and wrapped it around my waist, tucking me into his side.

"Sabina," he all but snarled. He had to clear his throat in order to continue. "This is my female. My beautiful, Sol Luna, Annie."

I forced a smiled and offered her my hand. "Hello. Nice to meet you."

She stood frozen, her eyes going from me to Ethan and back again...then she laughed. A genuine sound that reverberated in the cabin like some sort of solemn tune of doom. "You jest?" she asked, wiping a fake tear from her eye. As if there were true mirth in my relationship with Ethan.