tagErotic CouplingsApril Fools Times Two

April Fools Times Two

byJamesMiehoff©

Copyright (c) 2019 James Miehoff, All Rights Reserved.

This work may not be published whether for fee or free without this copyright.


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This is one of a series of stories set in what I call Universe-J. Universe-J is very much like this universe with a few exceptions.

First the people tend to be a little more sexual and less hung up on sex that they are in our universe. This does not mean that monogamy is the exception. James and Heather were monogamous for a significant amount of time before they "accidentally" swapped partners.

Second the repercussions of unprotected sex are less severe than our universe. Not to say that STDs and unexpected pregnancies don't occur, just that they occur less frequently and in the case of STDs, a good shot of antibiotic will put you right again. HIV has yet to be introduced so STDs aren't a death sentence there.

Lastly, pedophilia and incest (which I will not be writing about) are virtually unknown. Children are to be protected and loved not abused. When they reach the age of consent, they can join in the adult games if they so desire, but there is no pressure on them to do so.

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Tom looked at the coals in the grill and decided they weren't ready. He lifted his beer and let the cool nectar of the gods slide down his throat to join the rest of the six pack.

Not quite drunk, but definitely buzzed, an errant thought popped into his head. 'April Fool's day is coming,' he thought as he let his mind wander.

Seemingly at random, his memories focused on late March of 2016 and that old dive bar next to the adult bookstore....

"Tim, you gotta do me this solid," Tom remembered saying.

His identical twin just stared at him with a blank expression until he finally replied, "We haven't done the old switcheroo since, what's her name, Betsy."

Tom cut him off, "It was Becky and she still blew you anyway. No this is serious shit this time. I have to go out of town to a client's HQ on Friday. He is ready to sign and the CEO called me this morning to say that if I didn't show I better have a note from the coroner or not to bother coming to work on Monday."

Tim started to laugh and Tom cut him off again, "You don't understand. This guy has no sense of humor. He was serious. That is how much this contract means to the company."

Tom put his head in his hands and said, "An hour ago when I tried to tell this to Jean, she just looked at me and said that if I was not there to take her to the opening of her brother's play, I should just delete her number from my phone, because my dick was never going to taste her sweet sweet pussy ever again. And she was deadly serious too."

Tim took a big swig from his beer and then said, "What about an early flight home?"

Tom shook his head. "Tried that," he said, "Because of time zones, the best I can do is to show up 2 hours late. I might as well not show up."

They both sucked on their beers in silence, until Tom said quietly, "She is the one, Tim. When she sucks my cock, it is electric. She does things with her tongue you wouldn't believe. I've had other girls deep throat me, but she just slides me all the way down and licks my balls.

"And after I blow my wad, she comes up and kisses me so sexily and whispers, 'There. Now that we have the quick one out of the way, come fuck my brains out.' I can't help but get hard again.

"And she loves anal. About half the time when I'm fucking her I'll have my thumb up her ass and when she starts to come, she'll scream, 'Get that thumb out, I want that big cock of yours up my butt.'

"When was the last time you heard that?"

Tim just stared at his brother, open jawed.

Tom said, "Here, give me your phone. I'll download some pictures of her for you."

Tim just surrendered his phone and Tom put them back to back, making sure the movies transferred as well. When the files were transferred, he brought up the picture of Jean in her tiny yellow bikini and set the phone on the bar. "I'll be back in a few," he said. "Need to return some filtered beer to the environment."

Just before he went into the men's room, Tom looked back to see Tim swiping through the photos. 'Hooked you,' he thought with an evil grin.

'Now to reel him in,' thought Tom as he exited the bathroom and headed back to his brother.

Tim quickly set his phone face down on the bar as Tom approached. But not before Tom saw that it was playing one of the movies. 'Bingo,' Tom thought.

Before Tom could say anything, Tim blurted out, "Ok, I'll do it, but only if you promise not to be mad if this blows up in your face or my face or whatever."

"Cool," said Tom as he slid off the bar stool. "Come out to my car and I'll get you some of my shampoo, my deodorant and my body wash."

Tim just looked question marks at his brother.

Tom stopped and responded, "I read about this in a story about twins swapping. Women are way more in tune to their noses. If you don't smell like me, it will be over before it starts."

Tim nodded and drank off the last swallow of beer. "Makes sense I guess."

After picking up the box of toiletries and some of Tom's clothes, Tim waved goodbye and drove off towards his home.

Tom stopped to text "It's on," and whistling tunelessly he climbed into his car and headed home.

On Friday night, Tom's phone pinged. It was a text from Tim.

"OMG. Whatta babe!!! Reality >>> Pics."

Tim also sent a surreptitious picture of his date in a skin tight red dress. Tom looked at it and whistled. It looked like it was painted on. And her nipples looked like they were trying to chew their way out of the paint.

Tom grinned broadly and showed the text to his female companion.

She reached down and rubbed the crotch of his jeans and smiled while whispering, "Let's take this back to your room."

Tom just nodded because all the blood was now filling his little head.

Saturday afternoon found Tom and Tim back at the dive bar once more. Tim was already there nursing a beer when Tom walked up and slapped his brother on the shoulder.

"So how was it?" Tom asked as he sat down and waved at the bartender for a beer.

"You were right," Tim said. "She was fucking awesome and awesome to fuck."

"So give up the details," Tom said eagerly.

Tim took a long swig of beer before saying, "You know I don't fuck and tell."

"Well at least give me the highlights in case she asks," Tom said pleading. "I am going to have to fake that it was me."

"Alright, just the highlights," Tim agreed.

"I did as you suggested and washed with your soap and stuff. Then headed over and picked Jean up. Those pictures you gave me do not do her justice by any stretch. She is a fucking babe. And that red dress. OMG. I had a stiffy by the time I walked up to her. I'm pretty sure she noticed.

"She gave me a kiss that damn near imploded my head."

"Yeah. She has that effect on me too," Tom agreed.

"Anyway, we went to the play. It was pretty good. Her brother was really good and we went back to talk with the cast after the show. Everybody was hitting on Jean and I ended up being kind of possessive and a bit of a jerk."

Tom nodded and took a big swallow from his beer.

Tim continued, "So after a few minutes I whispered to her that we should leave and go someplace a little more private. She giggled and whispered back, 'Somewhere to take care of your little problem?'

"I agreed and whispered back, 'And before those nipples of yours tear through your dress.'

"We headed out to her place and I had just closed the door when she dropped to her knees, pulled my cock out and gave me the best blowjob ever. I blew my wad just after she swallowed the whole thing.

"You were right. After swallowing my jiz, she sttod up and kissed me, then said, 'You were happy to see me. Now it's time for you to repay the favor and fuck my brains out.' With that, she grabbed my cock and pulled me into the bedroom.

"When we reached the bedroom, she had me unzip the dress and when it dropped to the floor, she was totally naked. It only took her moments to get me in the same state.

"She lay down on the bed and pulled my head between her legs and had me eat her. She must have been pretty excited too because it only took a couple of minutes for her to start thrashing and splash my face with her juices as she came. When she was done she pulled me up and licked my face clean.

"One of her hands went down and found that I was hard again. Smiling, she rolled me on my back and mounted my cock. As I slipped inside her it was like fucking a Fleshlight. She was so tight.

"I remembered that you said she likes a finger in her ass when you fuck her. I had to slip her my middle finger because I couldn't get my thumb into her in that position.

"When I did that, she leaned down and bit my earlobe. She whispered that I was a very dirty boy and that I would get my cock in her ass soon enough. Then she started humping and grinding on me."

By this time Tom was squirming in his seat desperate to adjust his erection.

Tim ignored him and continued, "Just before I got to the point of no return, she started shaking and flipped over and put the head of my cock at her backdoor and pushed down until I popped inside. She stopped, and then slowly slid down my cock until her ass cheeks rested on my thighs and my cock was fully engulfed."

Tim stopped and took a large gulp of his beer before continuing. "Jean stopped and I could feel her breathing for a moment. I just kept still, trying not to come. Then I felt a finger slide into her pussy and she began to rub herself. She started to fuck my cock in and out of her ass and she started moaning and telling me to fuck her dirty ass with my cock.

"I lost it then and started fucking her ass as hard as I could and just as I started to lose it she screamed that she was coming and she wanted me to flood her butt with my come.

"That was all it took and I came like a grenade inside her. We bucked and thrashed and she laid back on me. I kissed her neck and rolled us over. Hours later I woke up, my cock still embedded in her ass. Just thinking about that started getting me hard again. I started to stroke in and out a little, just rubbing my cock inside her.

"Somewhere about then, she started to wake up and began to hump me back. I rolled her onto her stomach and slid my hands underneath her and cupped her breasts. That got her moaning and her nipples started to poke into my fingers.

"By then I was stroking my cock fully in and out. Occasionally I would pull all the way out and then slam myself all the way in. She had one hand down and was rubbing herself. As she started to come, I shoved my cock as deep as I could and dumped another load into her ass.

"We lay there coming down for a while then got up and showered. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, but we finally got dressed and I headed over here to meet you."

Tom slapped his brother on the shoulder again. Laughing, he told Tim, "I have a confession. I didn't go out of town. This whole thing was a setup. Turn around."

Puzzled Tim turned and was face to face with Jean and Jean? His mouth moved but nothing came out.

One of the Jeans stepped forward and kissed him on the lips and hugged him close.

After a long time Tim came up for air and whined, "Somebody please tell me what is going on?"

Laughing, the girl in his arms said, "It's simple. I'm not Jean, I'm Jane. The bitch over there hugging that son of a bitch, who I assume is Tom, is my twin sister Jean. We were set up as an April Fool's day joke. The joke is on them though; I'm not giving you up. Marry me."

Tim pulled her close and kissed her. When they broke, he said, "Yes."

The memory started to fade as Tom started to come back to reality.

"Tom, are the steaks done?" called Tom's wife.

"Yes, dear," Tom called back as he snapped fully back to reality.

Shaking his head, Tom walked into the kitchen of the duplex and dropped the steaks on the table. He turned and kissed his wife, Jean as Tim opened the bottle of champagne and poured it into the glasses that his wife, Jane held out. April Fools indeed.

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by Anonymous03/31/19

Pretty funny stuff

And I can imagine Tim being happy that he got laid. But I'm not sure Jane should have been happy that her sister set her up with an unknown man and that she fucked him on a first, blind date. Her "marrymore...

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