April's Dilemma Ch. 02

"The problems with my husband started almost as soon as I started going out with her. He knew what the problem was and he said he didn't blame me for doing what I had to do. But after I had some success in getting enough semen to clear my blemishes up completely, I think it made him feel really inadequate. Not to mention, he must have figured out that it wasn't just one guy that was supplying me. For a while he just slept in the guest room, but eventually it was too much for him.

"I can't say I blame the poor guy. He had to deal with his wife going out giving blowjobs ALL the time! Not to scare you, but when I say all the time, I do mean ALL THE TIME! I hope you like giving head. If you don't, it could be a problem. I told you I've tried alternate methods of getting it and none of them work nearly as well as getting it straight from the source.

"If you have a guy put it in a glass for you, you'll have trouble getting it all out. You'll probably wind up wasting a quarter of it. Plus, and I know I have no real evidence of this, it's just a hunch, something about it being exposed to the air too long seems to diminish its effectiveness. I've tried to store the stuff, but it just doesn't keep. Whatever is in the sperm that makes the blemishes go away doesn't anyway. And if you have a tough time swallowing it when you're giving head (I did), you'll have a really awful time trying to drink a glass right out of the fridge! LOL!

"But back to your problem of how to find donors. If you don't have a girlfriend or someone you can go out with, you're going to have to do some hunting on your own. Bars and clubs can be quite a test if you aren't comfortable with those sorts of places. My advice would be to go to ones where you know black guys hang out. White guys will spend all night trying to be witty and charming and might never even try anything. And it means you've got to be the one to encourage them, which, considering what bozos they can be, isn't always easy.

"Black men are different. They can be brutally direct. I had one ask me straight out if I had ever sucked a black dick! Needless to say, I got my dosage shortly after that! And a pretty big one (not just the dosage) too!

"Oh, and be careful about taking guys into your confidence and telling them about your condition. Once they tell a few friends, it becomes a joke and then you become a joke. Some guys are sweet about it, but a lot of them have been hurtful. The most unpleasant situations I've ever been in have been from guys who have heard about my problem walking up to me and offering, oh-so-generously, to let me suck them off. The worst times have been when I didn't have anyone else lined up and had to actually blow these losers.

"So be careful. The less men know, the less they can hurt you. I've found that it's better that they think you're a slut than desperate. At least a slut can turn them down. But if they think you need it as bad as they want it, well, it can be a bit humbling. Because, let's face it, you need something they've got.

"Okay, I know I've rambled a bit and maybe didn't answer all of your questions. But let me just summarize it for you.

"Online hook up sites might be worth looking into, but don't get your hopes up too high. The advantage to them is that you do everything over email, so if you have a tough time face to face, this isn't a bad way to go. Just be prepared to do a lot of weeding out.

"Bars and clubs are okay too, if you are comfortable in that element. I have to say that it was several months before I got to the point where I could do that by myself and I would still rather go with a friend. If you know someone who does a lot of clubbing, get her to help you meet men. It was the best thing for me. If you have to go alone, look for black men. Trust me, they'll take all the guesswork out of it.

"The thing is, once you've gotten to know a bunch of guys, it gets soooo much easier. You just pick up the phone and call until you find one that's available. And that's usually not to difficult. Remember, men love, LOVE getting blowjobs, so they're going to be pretty cooperative with a woman who wants to see them once or twice a week just to do that!

"One last thing that just occurred to me: watch out for the guys who want to "rescue" you from your lifestyle. If they don't know why you're running around sucking cocks all the time, they're going to assume that it's some flaw in you. And then they'll try to "help" you and "fix" whatever is wrong. It's sweet, but misguided. Guys like that it's better to cross off your list of suppliers.

"Well, I know I dumped a lot on you and I hope at least some of it helps. Please feel free to email me with any questions you have. Good luck. I know it seems impossible right now, but believe me, if I managed to get through it, anyone can!

Cathy"

April sat staring at Cathy's email for a long time. As helpful as her new friend was trying to be, April was more intimidated than ever. April had been thinking about trying dating sites, but, not having any experience, had been hoping Cathy would tell her where to start with them. Now it looked like the "easy way" of meeting a man, or men, wasn't the magic bullet that April had been hoping for.

April had been thinking she would try a dating site, meet a bunch of candidates online and then pick the lucky guy. But what Cathy said made sense. Men on those sites wouldn't necessarily be the one-night stand types. Or, at least they wouldn't be obvious about it if they were. That would leave it up to April to reveal herself, and she just didn't know if that would work for her. How would she tell a man, even via email, that she was ready and willing to suck his cock? There might be some coy way of letting a man know these things, but April had no idea what that might be.

The one-night-stand sites, which April hadn't even known existed, would have intimidating in their own right. April wasn't sure she'd have been brazen enough to try that route anyway. She didn't think she could initiate a correspondence with someone who would assume she wanted to have sex with them... even though that was precisely the case! And if it would require sorting through a bunch of frauds and unsavory characters for minimal returns, well...

As for girlfriends who might help, that was a laugh. Most of April's friends were cut from the same cloth as she herself. They were more likely to be in church on Sunday morning than in a bar on Saturday night. Many were still single, but rarely dated and were not the types to hang out in clubs to meet men in any event. How would talking a friend or two into going out with her help? April could picture herself huddled in a corner with one or two of her girlfriends, afraid to make eye contact with any of the men in the bar. Afraid even to talk about what they were doing there in the first place. And for certain, April would never be able to share with them her real motivation.

April half smiled and half cringed at her friends' imagined response to her problem... and its solution. Not that she and her friends had never discussed their sex lives before. But it had always been kept vague and heavily laced with euphemisms. These weren't the kind of women with whom April could expect a frank discussion about strategies for finding men looking for blow jobs. April couldn't even imagine their reactions to being told that her only hope for clearing up her face was to swallow cum ever day.

As for Cathy's suggestion about looking for black men, well... That just flat-out horrified April. Not that she was racist; she got along with everyone and would never presume to judge a person based on their color, religion, sex, etc. But for some reason the idea of big black man towering over her, his huge black cock in his hand, pointed at her trembling lips, was plain terrifying for her. And if he was aggressive, as Cathy had indicated, that would only amplify April's fears. Would a man like that grab the back of her head and savage her mouth with his mammoth tool? Would he force it down her throat, gagging or even choking her?

April had been approached by black men before and knew that Cathy was right. They had a raw sexual power and a directness about them that was totally different from the white guys she knew. That sexual presence, while potentially exciting, was simply too overpowering for April. It was like watching the latest thrill ride at an amusement park. From the ground it might seem fun, even tempting. But there was no way April could see herself being strapped into it, submitting to its dangerous, if exhilarating twists and plunges.

All of which left her in the same place she had been the night before. Except now she didn't have the hope that Cathy would provide her with a solution. April got up and looked at her face in the mirror. The blemishes were returning. Her face was reverting to the nightmare it had been and she was powerless to stop it. If she had been unable to push herself out the door last night to find a man, there was no way she'd be able to do it today. She was insecure enough without the added burden of the blemishes.

April's only real hope was that Nicholas would be back Monday night and would not be drained from having sex with his girlfriend over the weekend. She knew that she needed more of a plan than that though.

If last week was any indication, April might get enough sperm from him to get her blemishes under control. But by the end of last week, he had been barely giving her enough to keep them at bay. And it was all too likely that he wouldn't be able to see April during the coming weekend. She knew that if she was going to find someone on her own, she'd have to do it while her blemishes were at their least visible. She had to have something set up for Thursday or Friday. Some plan or other that would at least give her a shot at getting the sperm she needed to swallow to keep her face clear.

April decided that, despite Cathy's advice, she would try an online dating site. Not the meet-for-sex type, just the normal dating site. At the very least, April rationalized, it would give her a chance to work out how best to meet men and convey her need to them.

April surfed to a few different sites before finally selecting one. She didn't know why she picked that one over the others. It was either pure chance or something subconscious. She really had no idea what she was looking for or what men coming to these sites were expecting. So her choice was little more than a roll of the dice.

She started filling out an online profile, trying to make herself sound like a party girl. But April really didn't know what to say or how to say it and eventually she decided to keep it simple and vague. She found a picture of herself that predated the blemishes and used that. It was a nice picture, but nothing about it really said anything sexy. It could have been from the ID badge of the town librarian.

April looked it over a few times before finally submitting it. Once it was sent, she worried that it was too bland, that no one would see it and contact her. Even as she thought this though, another part of her was thinking that total strangers were going to see this and want to meet her. It was one of the more adventurous things April had ever done in that respect.

Still, she worried about who would contact her. A sincere, kind man like Nicholas was not what she needed right now. She wanted someone who was going to aggressively try to get in her pants. There wasn't time to waste. April sat in front of the computer fretting that the profile she had posted would attract the sweet guys and scare away the ones she needed right now. But she just didn't know how to make herself sound racy without coming across as a slut or a phony.

April hemmed and hawed about making changes to her profile, but in the end left it unchanged. She might as well see what kind of response she got first and take it from there. If she got any responses, she told herself.

April wondered what she would say and how things would go with men she met online. She still wasn't sure that she could do what she knew she had to do. Maybe she would get lucky and meet someone that she could feel comfortable enough with that it wouldn't be too difficult for her. The idea of meeting someone over the internet, where she was safely insulated, appealed to her. But how to transition from that safety to putting her face in his lap, ideally on their first date, well...

April was shy around men she didn't know well. Even with Nicholas, when he came over the second night, things had gone slowly. And not only had she sucked his cock the night before, but they both knew that was exactly why he was there again. When he walked in the door, they both knew he was going to get a blowjob and it still took time and beating around the bush to get down to it. How would she ever manage with someone she didn't know so well?

April wondered if it wouldn't be easier if a man was more dominant. If he pulled it out and told her to get on her knees and suck it. Wouldn't that take the burden off of her? She would just do exactly as she was told, and in the bargain get the mouthful of cum she needed. No uncertainty about what to say or do next to get to that point. Just get right down to it.

But where to find such a man? And not only would he have to be aggressive and dominant like that, he would have to be able to look at April and see a woman who would be compliant. Most men would probably dismiss her as being too timid or assume that she was a prude. Would an aggressive man like she was picturing even bother with her? He'd probably expect her to run away screaming.

April knew she was shy, but was she also submissive? If she was thinking that if it would be easier for a man to come right out and tell her to suck his cock, she must be. At least to some extent. Yes, she had a condition that would make giving head a necessity for her. But if she wasn't submissive, would she really view an aggressive man as a possible solution?

* * * * *

April milled around the house the rest of the day, unable to go outside. The next day was more of the same. She continually checked back on the dating site, but had no takers yet. With nothing to do but look in the mirror, check her email and bounce off the walls, the weekend went slowly.

Late Sunday afternoon, April sent an email to Nicholas asking him to come over Monday night. She wanted to tell him that the blemishes were back and she needed a belly full of his cum right away. But even with someone like Nicholas, she couldn't find a way she felt comfortable saying it. So she left it vague. Certainly he would know why she wanted him to come over. And what he would be getting once he got there.

It wasn't until she was getting ready for bed that Nicholas replied. He told her that he wouldn't be able to see her tomorrow. April's stomach dropped at that. She continued reading his reason, but the words hardly registered. All she knew was she wasn't going to get any sperm to clear up her face. She wanted to cry.

But she didn't. Instead, she took the opportunity to remind herself that she couldn't depend on Nicholas. Even if he were available seven days a week, which he wasn't, April still would need more. If she wanted to get her face back, she would have to do things. Things that she had never thought she could or would do. But there was no choice. April was desperate.

She re-read Nicholas's email. He was going straight from work to a doctor's appointment and from there out to dinner with his fiancee. April took note of the way he said fiancee instead of girlfriend. April had known they were serious, but not that they were engaged. Funny how it slipped Nicholas's mind last week, she though, while he was sitting on her sofa with his cock in her mouth!

But April really didn't want to mess up anything for Nicholas. She would be genuinely happy for him under any other set of circumstance. But April had placed too much of her hope on him to let it go now. He simply had to help her.

April sat and typed a reply. It was the most direct sexual thing she had ever said to a man.

"Nick, it's an emergency. The blemishes are back. Pick me up on the way to the doctor. I'll suck you on the way there. You can drop me at home on your way to dinner."

April didn't expect Nicholas to take her up on that. But maybe he would stop and let her suck him off quickly before he went to his appointment.

"No good," Nicholas emailed back. "I'll be meeting her at the doctor's office. What about lunch?"

She blinked, completely surprised that Nicholas would suggest a "quickie" at lunch time. But if that was when she had to get her fix, April would find a way to meet him.

"Okay," she wrote back, noticing the tingling she experienced as she realized she was making a date to suck a cock on her lunch break. "Pick me up at my work as close to noon as you can."

"Okay," he replied. "Probably about quarter after. Should I pick up sandwiches?"

"You can get yourself a sandwich," April wrote, feeling the tingling between her legs intensify a couple notches. "But I think we both know what I'll be having for lunch!" April was wet by the time she hit the send button.

Tomorrow at lunch time she was going to lean across the front seat of Nicholas's car, unzip his pants and suck his cock. He was going to cum in her mouth and she would swallow every drop... Just the idea that all of this was set up in advance was dizzying to her. The anticipation of it all had her so wound up that she had trouble falling asleep. Hopefully, he had not been too busy this weekend and would have a good-sized load to give her.

The next morning her excitement about her lunchtime rendezvous was dampened considerably by the look of her face. She was practically back to where she started. Now she would have to face a bunch of co-workers who would wonder why April's newest treatment suddenly stopped working for her. Maybe she could lie and say she went away for the weekend and left her medicine at home. But that was probably a bad idea. They knew she didn't go places very often and would probably ask a lot of questions.

In the end April decided to tell them that the doctor had started her out on the lowest dosage and would increase it if necessary. That sounded plausible enough and was straightforward enough that there wouldn't be too many questions. That was good, because April was not a very good liar.

When she arrived at work, she felt eyes on her. Everyone noticed that her face was back to what it had been. April felt naked under their stares. Very few of them asked her about it though. When someone did, April trotted out her rehearsed line about the doctor toying with the dosage and that seemed to be more than enough to satisfy their curiosity.

By eleven o'clock, April was thinking less about blemishes and more about Nicholas. He would be driving up to the front door to pick her up in just over an hour. April wondered if Nicholas was getting excited thinking about it. She wondered if he had ever gotten a lunch time blow job in his car before. Should she ask him? She felt the tingling return as she imagined herself unzipping his fly, looking at him and saying, "So, Nick, do you usually spend your lunch driving around with a woman sucking you?"

She was still smiling when Tina tapped her on the shoulder and said it was time for lunch.

"C'mon!" Tina said. "Time to get all the dirt on Melissa's weekend!" April looked up, uncomprehending.

"You know," Tina said in reply to April's _expression. "The two guys? The mountain getaway weekend?" It came back to April in a flash. Hadn't she just been lamenting the fact that Melissa had been spending the weekend getting filled up with cum and April, who desperately needed it, was getting none?