Arabian Nights Ch. 01

I raise my eyebrows. "Of what?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. How you'd react."

"My own father is gay, Zane," I remind him.

"Yeah, but we've known that forever. You grew up with that. And you and I have a very different relationship," he says, finally looking up towards my face. "I just... didn't want it to affect... you know... us." He sighs. "I don't want to lose you."

I give him a half-smile. I get what he's saying, and I want to comfort him, but I don't know how. I didn't have to console my father when he came out to me, because he wasn't ashamed of it. I don't know how to help Zane. Is there something specific I can say? Probably not. All I know is that I just need to be here for him, however he needs me to be. "You seriously thought I'd just drop you like that?"

"No, but... I don't know," he says. "It's that... irrational fear talking."

"I'm not going anywhere," I tell him, and he smiles, his relief incredibly apparent. "How long have you known?"

"That I'm gay?" he asks, and I nod. "Um... Early high school, maybe," he says.

My eyes go wide. "*That* long?!"

"Don't look at me like that," he says with a tiny laugh.

"God, I feel like such a shitty friend," I say, feeling weirdly sick to my stomach.

He looks almost amused. "Why?"

"Because I never fucking noticed," I say.

He smiles. "It's not on you, bro. I was good at hiding it."

I really do feel bad, though, like I didn't do enough as a friend. He's been harboring this shame for a fucking decade... Maybe I could have been there for him in a better way, or could have done something to make him feel comfortable enough to tell me. This situation is asking me, what can I do better? "Still," I say.

He just nods a little bit, and we sit in silence for a while before Zane looks down at the pillow. "Maybe I should get dressed," he says, sitting up a bit

"Right," I say, glancing at his clothes on the floor. Then I laugh a little. "Sorry for cock-blocking you," I tell him.

I swear Zane starts blushing a bit. "Please don't mention it," he says.

"Seriously though," I say, "I only came back to grab some photos for Baba, so... Call up your friend or whatever."

But he just shakes his head. "I'm not really in the mood anymore. Way too embarrassed," he says with a small laugh, looking at me.

I can imagine so. Somehow getting caught with someone wearing your ass out seems a little bit more embarrassing than if the roles were reversed. Plus, I never expected to find Zane being the one taking it. He just looks like a top. "Well... Do you wanna be alone?" I ask him. When he looks at me curiously, I say that he can come back to Baba's with me and sleep over. "Up to you, though."

He thinks about it for a moment before nodding. "That'd be nice," he says, and he smiles gently at me. Then we both stand up. Before Zane can grab his clothes, though, I have to make my feelings apparent. So I step forward and wrap my arms around him. "Khalid-" he starts to say as I hug him.

But I cut him off. "I love you, man," I say, keeping the hug firm and close. "Don't ever forget that." After a moment I feel Zane's arms wrap around me. He's hesitant at first, but when I don't pull away, he gives me a tight squeeze in return. In appreciation.

~ ~ ~

Once Zane gets a few things together and I grab the stack of photographs from my dresser, we hop into my car and start heading back to Baba's. Zane seems mildly awkward - and it's not necessarily because of anything he's doing or saying. It's his energy. We know each other well enough to understand how the other person is feeling without having to spell it out. I understand why he's feeling a little uncomfortable, so I have to make sure that he knows I'm here for him.

As we head out onto the main road, I ask him something I'm curious about. "So... Who was that guy?" I ask, glancing at him. "Boyfriend?"

I sense him look my way for a quick second before he says "I wouldn't go that far. We've been seeing each other for a bit, I guess, but..."

"Not that serious?"

"I don't know," he says. Then he clears his throat a bit. "He told me he loved me."

I snort, my head turning towards Zane. I notice he's biting his nails again. "Seriously? How long have you guys been together?"

He shrugs. "Two, three months?"

"I guess that's reasonable," I say, even though I'm questioning it.

But he just shakes his head. "It was when we were in the middle of, like..." He uses a weird hand motion before adding "Having sex."

I try not to laugh, so I just say "Oh."

"Yeah. So things are a little weird right now."

I'm extra curious to know about this guy because he's never given me a single detail about anyone he's dated before. I wonder if this guy is the type of guy he usually goes for. "What's he like?"

"He's cool," he says. "He's pretty laid back, so... You'd like him," he adds.

Zane is an excellent judge of character, so I don't doubt him when he says I'd like him. "Well, I'd love to meet the dude. For real this time." I shoot Zane a little smile.

It's nice to see him smile back slightly. "Yeah?" he asks before nodding slightly to himself. "I could probably make that happen." Then, even as I shift onto the highway, I feel Zane's eyes on me. I can sense that he has something to say, or ask, so I'm not surprised when, after a few moments, he speaks up again. "Should I tell your father?"

I glance at him once but I have to focus on switching lanes. "About your newfound sexuality?"

"It's not newfound, bro," he reminds me with a tiny laugh, "but yeah."

"Hm," I say, thinking about it as I speed up so a healthy 65mph. "Do you want to tell him?"

"I don't know," he says. "I guess if you know, he should know."

I understand what he means. My father is basically a third parent to Zane, and because the three of us are so close, it'd make sense for Baba to know. "What about your parents?" I ask him, wondering about Rashida and Seth.

"No way," he says immediately. Then he second-guesses himself. "I mean... well... I don't know. My mom, I guess, but my father?" I just nod to myself. Rashida would probably be kind about it. After all, she's kept my father's secret for so long. But that's all because we know how Seth will react. And who's to say how he'll respond to his own flesh and blood being gay... "Part of me has always wanted to tell him," Zane says, "but it would... it would change everything."

"That's putting it mildly," I say, and I get a little laugh out of Zane.

He asks another question. "Promise things won't change between us?"

I look over at him and smile before reaching over and patting his chest. "I promise."

~ ~ ~

Baba is surprised but pleased to see that I've brought Zane back with me. He gives Zane a joyful hug before doing his normal fussing: "Please, get comfortable! Do you need anything? Tea? A cookie?" The impression of being a good host is very important to Baba, and he'll end up going through all the motions of ensuring Zane has everything he needs unless I distract him.

So I hold up the stack of photographs and wave them around. "Look what I got."

Baba's eyes go wide and he smiles, taking them from me and leafing through a few quickly. "Oh, this is perfect," he says, clearly happy. We all make our way into the dining room, where he has his scrapbook laid out and ready. First thing he has to do, though, is organize all the photos.

Zane and I slip into the kitchen first and help ourselves to some drinks and homemade chocolate kunafa before joining Baba at the dining table. Already, he has at least a dozen piles already for the couple hundred photos to be placed in. "Any rhyme or reason to this?" I ask, trying to see if there's some sort of pattern.

"Theme and age range," he says calmly before laughing at one picture and then placing it gently on top of the smallest pile. He takes a momentary break from his organization to look at Zane. "Why are you here?" he asks - which would normally sound blunt and rude if not for the happy lilt in his voice. "I thought you had a date."

Zane turns to me, and I just shrug, nonverbally telling him that I told Baba that he probably had a date tonight. Baba and I spent some time speculating as to who it was. Of course, both of us were completely wrong. "Yeah," Zane says slowly before clearing his throat.

Baba chuckles as he keeps sorting through pictures. "You don't sound so excited," he says. "Didn't go well?"

"Not exactly," Zane says, looking at me warily.

"Well, there are plenty of other women in the garden," Baba says before looking at me. "Is that the expression?"

I just smile. "'Fish in the sea', Baba."

He just waves me off. "Agh. You understand what I'm saying." Zane nods a little, but it's an anxious nod, and Baba's quick to take notice. Baba pauses, looking at Zane, then me, then Zane again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Zane says quickly.

But Baba is perceptive of Zane's shift in mood. "You're quieter than usual." Then, he looks excited as he comes to his own conclusion. "The date *did* go well?" he asks.

Zane laughs a little. "No, Baba G-"

"You're in love, aren't you?"

"It's not that-"

"Who's the lucky girl, hm? Are we finally going to meet someone?"

"It's not a girl," Zane says flatly.

Baba takes it almost as a joke. "What is she, a dog?" he asks, laughing to himself before he notices the strange shift in the air. He looks at the both of us curiously, inquisitively. "What's going on, boys?"

Zane looks at me, and I just give him a little nod. "I have... uh... something I want to tell you, actually."

Baba, who had been bending over the table to sort through the photographs, sits down in his chair, crosses his leg over his knee, and gives Zane his full attention. Zane looks almost uncomfortable getting my father's undivided attention, but I see it as a sign of respect. Baba's good at knowing when to have fun and when to get serious, and it's clear he can tell it's not a moment for jokes. "I... Um..." Zane laughs slightly, looking nervous and struggling with his words. "I..."

"He's not gonna be mad," I murmur to him.

"I know," Zane says, "but... Can you tell him?"

I blink. "Me?"

Zane looks up at me. "Please?"

I guess it'll take the pressure off of him a little bit, so I agree. I turn to Baba, whose focus is now on me. I decide to be straight-forward: "Zane's gay."

Baba looks completely surprised - as I'm sure I looked when I found Zane and his not-quite-boyfriend together. Then he shakes his head. "Sorry, what?"

"He's gay, Baba," I say slowly. "That's what he wanted to tell you."

Baba looks at Zane, eyes still wide as he takes in this information. Zane just picks at something on the table. Unconvinced, Baba keeps questioning Zane. "Really? You?"

"I'm just as surprised as you are," I say.

Baba glances at me. "I don't understand," he says. "Is this a joke? Are you joking?"

"It's not a joke, Baba," I say softly. He looks at me with a bit of scrutiny and I just hold up my hands. "Hey, I only just found out tonight too. Right before we came over." Then, to make things a little more lighthearted, I add "I caught him in the act."

Zane punches me in retaliation for exposing him, but Baba just looks confused, not getting the joke. "'The act'?"

"Never mind, Baba," I say with a slight laugh, rubbing my thigh. "The point is, Zane is coming out, so..." I gesture to my friend, who's sitting idly beside me. "Say something to him."

Baba turns to Zane and stares for a moment. "It's true?" he asks.

Zane finally looks up and then nods.

I think Baba sees the sincerity in Zane's face, and he sighs, smiling gently. "Oh, Zane, my boy," he says, tsking. "I'm so sorry."

Now I'm confused. He's apologizing? "Why are you sorry?" I ask before Zane can.

"Being gay... It's not easy." I think Baba sees something in my face because he says "You wouldn't understand, Khalid." I'm a little offended that he's so quick to assume that I wouldn't have any sort of empathy in this situation. But before I can say anything, Baba asks me to leave.

"You want me to leave?"

"I want to talk with Zane," he says. "Alone."

"Why alone?"

"Because this doesn't concern you."

"But-"

"Go!" Baba says, practically shooing me away from the table. I glance at Zane before sighing and taking my leave, heading into the living room in forced solitude. But I have to respect their privacy a bit, I suppose. Baba's right: none of this really concerns me. Baba probably has some gay-related advice for him that I couldn't possibly give him or something. So I turn on the television loud enough for it to drown out their voices so that they can talk about whatever they need to discuss.

I nearly nod off by the time they come into the living room. I sit up abruptly, glancing at my phone to check the time. Seems that they've talked for nearly forty minutes. Jesus, what a conversation. Zane joins me on the couch while Baba sits in his loveseat, grabbing the remote. "Should we watch a movie?" he asks, clearly keeping things casual.

Zane seems quiet, so I just say "Sure," giving Baba the go-ahead to sift through all our options. I scoot a little closer to Zane, nudging him a bit. "Everything okay?" I mutter.

He looks at me and nods, giving me a short but unconvincing smile. "Yeah."

I'm nosy and am dying to know what they talked about, but I'm exercising restraint. I keep my questions to myself as Baba settles on a movie of his choosing: "Life of Pi". As usual, Baba talks through the entire thing. I engage with him often, because otherwise he's just talking to himself, but Zane is almost completely silent, spending most of the film chewing on his nails like he always does when he's thinking too hard. Part of me is worried about him, but he's a strong character. Worrying about Zane would be a waste of my time.

Once the movie is over, it's time to get ready for bed. Zane and I take Baba's king-sized bed (a gift from Seth and Rashida), and Baba takes my old twin mattress. This is our go-to arrangement whenever we stay over my old house since the couches (and even the twin bed) are too small for either of us. I use the bathroom first, washing up and brushing my teeth before I strip down to my boxers and get under the covers, waiting for Zane. Once he's out of the bathroom, I watch him undress, shut off the light, and then join me on my left side. He slides in with a sigh and adjusts the pillow behind his head.

I wonder if I should say anything. Is it my place to ask what him and my father talked about? Probably not. But I am curious, and I am his friend. I can be even more supportive if he keeps an open channel of communication with me. Plus I'm just damn nosy.

But he beats me to it. "Baba G doesn't think I should tell my father," he says, breaking the silence.

I look over at Zane, who's just looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah?"

He nods. "He actually insisted that I don't. He thinks he'll disown me."

I shift onto my side. "Like, full-out strip-you-of-your-name-and-title disown you?"

"Yep."

I bite my lip a bit. "I mean, he knows your father pretty well."

"I know."

"Did you *want* to tell him?"

"I mean, no, not really," he says. "It's kinda just a what-if, you know?" He sighs heavily. "I was kind of hoping he'd say that my father would still... I don't know... support me, because I'm his blood."

"What about Rashida?"

"I'll probably tell her eventually," he says, shrugging. Then he closes his eyes. "It's just stupid that I have to do this."

"Do what? Come out?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have to," I tell him.

"Yes I do," he says. "Everyone expects me to bring home a girl. Even you did."

I don't have an excuse. He's right. I definitely just assumed Zane was straight all this time - as does everyone else, I'm sure. "I mean... you've gone this long without anyone suspecting a thing," I say with a little grin.

"Yeah, but I hated doing it," he says, looking at me. "It sucked keeping this from you."

I smile at him. "Well, now I know."

He laughs. "Now you know."

He smiles at me a little bit before saying he's going to try and sleep. I concur, going back to my original position, fluffing up the pillow behind my head, and shutting my eyes while I listen to Zane's deep, calming breathing pattern. Lying next to him in the same bed still doesn't feel weird. After all, I promised him things wouldn't change between us, and overall, I think I'm staying true to my word. But at the same time, I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe it's just the shock of it. I'm hoping that I'll stop harping on this one detail about him after a few days. The trick really is to make sure I don't redefine him based on this new tidbit of information. Zane is still the same person, after all. And there's so much more to him than his sexuality.

~ ~ ~

Over the next week or so, things remain normal. The only thing that changes is that Zane starts talking about his "endeavors" more. Nothing graphic, but he's much more open to talking about what he's done with his new squeeze, Jason. I'll get the occasional story about a date they had, or something funny Jason said, or a vague detail about their sex life - things I've never gotten before. Regardless of how Zane feels concerning his father, he seems happier being more open with me. And that's what counts.

What's most exciting is that I finally, finally, finally get to meet someone he's involved with. He's told me he's had a "handful" of boyfriends in the past (whatever that means), but at least I get to meet one of them. Zane's bringing Jason over to visit me on my lunch break (since I picked up a Saturday shift) so we can all grab a bite and get to know each other a little.

I meet them outside the care facility a little after noon, smiling as I strut onto the sidewalk in my blue scrubs.

"Hey, Scrub," Zane says with a smile, turning away from Jason and giving me a quick hug.

"Fuck off," I say, patting his back before stepping back to look at Jason. Technically this isn't my first time meeting Jason - but my first impression of him still remains the same: he's intimidating. He gives me a tight-lipped smile and offers his hand, and I shake it. "Nice to finally meet you," I say.

"Same here," he says, sizing me up. "Heard a lot about you."

Wish I could say the same about you, Jason. "How much time do you have?" Zane asks me.

"'Bout an hour," I say. "Pretty flexible here."

"Okay, cool," he says, nodding before addressing us both. "Where do you wanna eat?"

Jason just shrugs, removing himself from the voting. "Wherever."

I appreciate someone who's laid back, but something about Jason reads more uninvolved than chill. Maybe it was the tone he used... or maybe it's the way he's kind of squinting at me. I glance at Zane. "Hibachi?" I suggest.

A wide grin appears on his face. "Hell yeah."

Our favorite hibachi place is just a short eight-minute walk from my job, so the three of us travel a few blocks down the street. We're greeted by a bored-looking host who seats us with a quiet family of five. The three of us take the corner of a hibachi table, Zane placing himself between me and Jason. We put in our drink orders with a separate waitress before she practically jogs away from our table, looking rushed.

"I've never gotten hibachi before," Jason says.

I feel a little relieved that he's initiating conversation. After that "uninvolved" vibe I received from him, I was worried I'd be pushing buttons. "Really?" I ask.

"It's fun," Zane says, "and the food is good, I promise."

"You like Japanese food, right?" I ask.

He shrugs. "It's okay," he says. "More of a burgers 'n fries kind of guy."

I try not to squint at him, but his comment irks me. I know his type. I work with plenty of "All-Americans" who refuse to add a little culture to their diet and won't touch anything that's not fried and greasy. I don't know why it's such a sore spot for me, but his comment makes him seem... boring, in a way. I suppose it's because Baba always made sure my palate was expansive growing up. Even as a young American boy, Indian food was always my favorite.