Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 14

Instead, a man walked by with a crate of beers under one arm, heading towards The Bleeding Rose. He inclined his head to Virginia. "Ma'am," he said, before shooting a glare at me for the effrontery of being a half-orc while in his presence. Once he was done, I coughed.

"So," I said. "Isle of Despair rules, everyone?"

"Agreed," 'Magnus' rumbled.

"Indubitably," Gillian said, sniffing primly.

"Yeah..." Virginia said, but there was a shy little smile on her lips.

Sally hiccuped.

"What now?" Virgina asked, her voice all gruff business.

"Well," I said. "According to one of the half-elves in the tavern, there is an elf in the town who goes by the name of Myrth. He knows the way to Quintarra. Once we have that, we'll know where to go." I smiled. "How hard will it be to coax it from him?"

Sally beamed. "Thaz' the spirit, sir!"

Mryth looked at me as if I had been scraped off his shoe. I stood before his front door, my hands holding my hat before me as I looked as peaceful and respectful as I could. Finding his home had taken asking a few folks for direction and knocking at the door of two rather irritated humans before finally reaching the right doorway. Now, I got a chance to look the elf over. Like most of his kind, he was tall and willowy, with long straight hair and almond shaped eyes. His irises were a pale red, to go with his milk white skin, and his hair was as black as mine. His knife sharp ears were as long as mine. He was dressed in the well tailored, narrow finery that elves wore while among humans, and he immediately pulled out his pocket watch, flicking it open.

"Yes?" he asked, looking down at the watch - as if he were counting the seconds I was wasting him. I buried the flare of irritation that flashed across my face.

"Sir," I said, as politely as I could. "I am seeking the route to Quintarra, the city of the elves, and have been informed that you know where it is?"

"Oh, I do," he said, closing the pocketwatch with a click.

"Ah, good," I said, smiling. "Where is it?"

Mryth looked right into my eyes. "It's in the forest. Everyone knows that."

My left eyebrow twitched ever so slightly. My fingers tightened on my hat. "I realize, sir, that it is in the forest," I said, trying to sound calm.

"Then why are you asking me where it is?" Mryth asked, his voice pure confusion. He slipped the watch back into his breast pocket.

"Because I do not know where Quintarra is," I said. "Which is why I'm asking."

"Well, it's in the-" He started.

"I know it's in a forest," I said, my voice rising in pitch slightly. "But...do you know where it is?" I narrowed my eyes.

Mryth smiled at me. "Yes," he said, his eyes glittering. I clenched my jaw.

"Then tell me, please," I said.

"It's...in the Glimmering Forest," Mryth said. By now, he was growing less capable at concealing his mirth - he actually had to bite his lip to keep from laughing uproariously. Behind me, I could hear Virginia's knuckles popping. I tried to not tear my hat in half.

"Where in the Glimmering Forest?" I growled.

Mryth crooked his finger, leaning forward. I leaned forward as well, my back stiffer than a steel rod. Mryth's lips nearly touched mine: "In the trees!"

My hat struck the ground as I grabbed him by his lapels, lifting him up off his feet, my biceps burning with the effort. "In what trees!" I bellowed, unable to keep the wroth from my voice.

"Oh, you know!" He said, laughing, his hands spreading wide. "In the branches!"

I closed my eyes. I counted to ten. I began to calculate the volume of an oblate sphereoid and started to imagine how to cram this elf in there. Breaking a spine here or there would be acceptable losses, in the end. Once my heart no longer hammered and my vision was no longer red, I dropped Mryth back onto his feet. "Please, sir," I said, my voice soft. "Just tell me. I need to know."

"Oh, why?" Mryth asked, cocking his head.

I looked at him. Then, slowly, I slid my hands into my pockets. Silence stretched between us like a strand, growing more and more taut with every moment. Mryth's brow furrowed. He cocked his head. He watched me as I looked down at my shoes. I lifted myself to my toes, then rolled back to my heels. I tapped the soles of my shoes upon his stoop, humming under my breath the first few lines of the Tarantian anthem. Mryth frowned at me.

"Well?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me?"

I blinked at him, as if surprised. "Oh!" I pointed at myself. "I said that I needed to know. I never said I'd tell you why just because you asked."

Mryth looked shocked. Then he laughed, throwing his head back. "Oh, that's fantastic!" he clapped his hands, beaming. "Of course, I know how to get to Quintarra! And I will tell you!" he said, thrusting a finger into my air. I did not allow myself to get excited - and this was proved to be the right decision when Mryth said: "Once you do one thing."

I sighed, slowly. "What is it? A wizard that needs to be slain? An evil necromancer rousted and slain? A magical ring thrown into a volcano? Oh! I know, you want me to masquerade as an elf to join an archery tournament in your stead, and win the hand of your estranged love from under the nose of your rival!"

Mryth laughed. "Oh, no, no!" He shook his head. "All that are quite a few fine ideas, but I want you to do something far more simple, something all elven youths must do. You need to prove you are a great hunter. Find me the pelt..." He rubbed his chin. "Hmm, it must be something of the proper stature. Not a wolf, nor a panther. Ah! I know!" He snapped his fingers and beamed at me. "Get me the pelt...of the Stillwater Giant, my green friend, and I will tell you exactly where to go."

My eyebrow twitched.

***

I slammed my fist into the doorway of the house that was nestled into the northern corner of Stillwater, tucked between two sheer cliffs of stone. The ground around the front of the house was well trodden mud, with several bear traps lined up against the wall of the house, waiting to be deployed. The front door swung inwards and I found myself looking into the watery gray eyes of an fifty year old human gentleman dressed in a rustic smoking jacket, with a pair of half moon spectacles on his nose. He looked at me, his brow furrowing. Then he exclaimed.

"Dr. Rayburn Cog!?" he asked.

I blinked, my expression of irritation rearranging itself into delighted surprise. "You know me, Dr. Hippington?"

Dr. Stanley Xavier Hippington took my hand and pumped it as hard as he could, beaming as if I had made his entire year. He nodded quickly. "I may be somewhat out of the way, but I still subscribe to the Technological Journal. Your design for the accelerator rifle impressed me deeply, even if I am merely a layman in the mechanical philosophies. I'm a naturalist, myself, I-"

"That's exactly why we're here," I said, nodding. "Mryth said that you were the leading expert in the-"

"The Stillwater Giant!" Dr. Hippington exclaimed. "Yes! Come in, come in!"

Virginia, Sally, Gillian, 'Magnus' and I all took our seats in the living room of the small house and each of us looked somewhat ill at ease. The reason for my discomfort was not the preponderances of plaid decorations. No, it was the number of taxidermied animals on display on every wall, every table, every counter top. A large elk's head leered down at us, while two snarling wolf heads flanked it. A bizarre chimeric mishmash of a duck's bill and an otter's body was placed in a glass bottle in the center of the table, in the same way another man might have a ship in a bottle. The floor was covered in bearskin rugs, and the light was provided by lamps carved from the skulls and ribcages of various animals.

Virginia eyed the bowl of hard candies that was set in the center of the wooden table at which we sat. She reached out, took hold of a single red candy, then lifted the entire mass of candies into the air. Her eyes widened and she hastily placed the candies back into the bowl, just as Dr. Hippington arrived, carrying a tray with tea cups and a tea kettle between his hands. He set it on the table, clapped his hands, did a little jig, then sat across from us.

"So!" he said. "Dr. Cog! Might I say, of course, I am extremely impressed at how far you've reached in the technological arts with your condition."

I pursed my lips.

"Oh, no! Not your orcish blood!" Dr. Hippington said, waving his hand. "Everyone knows that orcs are quite intelligent when they wish to apply their animal cunning to schemes and plans. Why, if anyone has ever seen how able the greenskinned race is at committing crime can see that you are all very intelligent. No, I'm of course speaking of the infinitely more scientific roadblock in your way: The shape of your cranium." He shook his head. "You, tragically, have the forehead and sloped temples of a stagecoach operator, or a member of the coaling gang on a steam ship."

"Ah. How unfortunate," I said, my voice as dry as it could be.

"And yet you have overcome this!" he said. "Maybe it is in the nature of your jawline...an under looked aspect of the phrenological arts, the jaw..."

Virginia coughed. "The Giant?" she asked.

"Ah! Yes! The Stillwater Giant!" Dr. Hippington exclaimed. "The first and most extremely important thing that I must state, without equivocation, hesitation, disassembling or single hint of blather and delay-"

"Too late," Gillian murmured, so softly that I barely heard her.

"-is absolutely and completely real. It exists! I'd stake my entire zoological reputation on it. And have!" He said, laughing. "They called me mad, back in Tarant. But who will be mad when I return with the Giant in captivity!" He rubbed his palms together.

I slowly set my tea cup down, having not taken a single sip. "So, Dr. Hippington," I said, my voice as calm as I could manage. "Can you tell me about the Giant?"

"It is of the genus Gigantopithecus. Specifically, Gigantopithecus Arcanus - the magic giant. It evolved at some point between 200,000 to 100,000 years ago, branching off from a theoretical shared ancestor with the more common Gigantopithecus Generis and Gigantopithecus Mundus." He rubbed his palms together, his eyes growing more focused. "Arcanus unfortunately went mostly extinct 25,000 years ago, during the ending of the pre-historic Age of Magick. Tragic." He shook his head. "If more had survived, like the greater dragons, then we might have seen an entirely different evolution of the ogreish races."

"Re -hic- ally?" Sally asked.

"Yes!" Dr. Hippington said, excitedly. "Sadly, all of them died out when the magick of Arcanum faded to the minimal levels that we witness today - if they had survived a mere ten thousand years, they'd have made it to the Age of Legends!"

"So close," Virginia said, dryly.

Dr. Hippington nodded, then began to down cup after cup of tea. As he drank, I asked my question: "But you believe one survives? And is in Stillwater?"

"Yes!" Dr. Hippington slammed his cup down so hard that he nearly shattered it. "I've been hunting it for thirty years, and have learned a great deal about it. For one thing, I have finally determined what has only been hypothesized about these creatures. Their defensive ability is entirely magickal in nature, which is why there has never been any fossil proof. For you see, when this giant is not actively engaging in combat, it assumes a different form than the normal form - which you have seem recreated in statue form in the center of this town. By taking on the shape of a smaller animal, it can conceal itself from any threats - such as dragons and humanoids - and it can use less biological energies, thus extending the time between feedings."

I nodded. "I see. What...form does it take?"

"A rabbit!" Dr. Hippington said.

Silence hung over the table.

"A rabbit?" I asked.

"A large rabbit," Dr. Hippington said.

"I see," I said. I considered simply getting up and leaving and punching Mryth until the elf folded in half. But then Dr. Hippington added one last detail.

"It is also bright blue."

That will do the trick! I thought. I rubbed my palms together. "So, how do we get our hands on this giant?"

"It just so happens that I've done considerably work to prepare myself for this," Dr. Hippington said, springing to his feet. He bustled about, bringing out a large bottle of pale green liquid and a large, rectangular cage. He placed his palm on the cage. "This cage will capture the beast while it is in the form of a rabbit. It has a magick field that will suppress the giant's shapeshifting whilst it is trapped within. This!" He patted the bottle. "Is the creature's scent. You can apply it to your naked body-"

The girls all sat up. "Wait, naked?" I asked.

"Of course, you can sneak into a cave wearing armor and you don't want to ruin that fine clothes, do you Dr. Cog?" Dr. Hippington said.

"He has a point," Virginia murmured.

I glared at her.

"And!" Dr. Hippington said. "The scent will disguise you from the fierce nose of-"

"Of the rabbit," I said, slowly.

"Yes!" Dr. Hippington said, his head bobbing excitedly.

"So, I am going to strip naked. Slather myself with this." I picked up the bottle. "Then use this." I held up the boxy trap. "To capture the rabbit."

"The Stillwater Giant!" Dr. Hippington said. "In the form of a rabbit. And remember. This is a highly dangerous, utterly vicious monster. It will kill you dead in an instant if you do not use the upmost stealth!"

I sighed. Slowly.

Today was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

***

We stood outside of the cave that Dr. Hippington claimed was the home of the Stillwater Giant. I unbuttoned my shirt as Virginia took my backpack. She set it down, smiling. "So," she said, her voice cheerful. "Make sure to stay light on your feet, sir. You don't want to get it hopping mad."

My head snapped to her.

"Virginia!" Gillian said, her voice filled with concern. "This isn't the first time Rayburn has pulled a rabbit out of a hat."

I glared at Gillian, while 'Magnus' chuckled, softly. She pitched her voice low and masculine in case anyone overheard, added: "I'm sure once he gets the Giant, we'll all be millionhares!"

"Give my my gun, Virginia," I said, holding out my hand - but she had pranced back, holding my clothes in her arms, which included my belt and holster.

"A gun? I thought you were going to play this by ear!" Virginia said, her face entirely innocent.

"To bun is to pick a pocket!" I said, thrusting my finger at her.

Silence hung around.

"Bun? Like...pun?" I said.

My companions shook the heads. "Sorry, sir, it's kinda -hic- tortured," Sally said.

"Yeah, it's not very bunny," Virginia said.

I grabbed my gun from Virginia's pile of clothes, then picked up the scent, my scowl fierce enough to melt lead. Then I dumped the scent over my head. The green glop slathered over my head, spilled down my back, and soaked my back muscles. Soon, my entire body was glistening as I used my free hand to rub the scent into my chest and shoulders. I breathed shallowly through my mouth - for the smell of the Stillwater giant was utterly and completely foul. I was clearly not the only one to think this, for each of my companions (normally quite pleased to see me naked and glistening) all hurriedly backed away. Well, most did. Virginia stood beside me, even as her eyes watered.

"Best of luck, sir," she said, her eyes narrowing to slits.

"You're not coming in with me?" I asked.

"Sir, it's a rabbit," she wheezed.

I snorted. "Fair enough..." I ducked forward, then crawled into the mouth of the cave. My natural low-light vision slowly focused in the shadows of the cave and I saw that the narrow stone was marked by several claw marks - but they were quite small. I remembered reading somewhere that rabbits worked their claws on hard surfaces for some reason or another. Or maybe I was mistaking some other fact I had read elsewhere. No matter. I shuffled forward, pistol in one hand, the trap in my other, and came to a corner that led into a larger area. My eyes widened...for the area was filled with bones. Heaped, up to my shins, with thick, white bones. Many had been gnawed or cracked with large teeth. Others had been snapped in half. All had been stripped utterly of all but the thinnest strips of flesh and tiny bits of gristle.

Many were human.

My blood ran cold as I saw a large, blue bunny seated on one of the piles of bones, its head resting on its forelegs. Its eyes were closed and its ears rested against the back of its head, and it was clearly slumbering. Very...very...very slowly I set the wire frame of my trap down on the ground. It crunched slightly and I ducked around the corner, my heart hammering slowly.

I heard a soft clattering of bones. Risking it, I peeked around the corner and saw the blue rabbit was slowly hopping towards the trap. It would hop once or twice, pause, paw at its face and snout, then sniff at the air. Its ears twitched. Then it hopped forward a few more inches. I ducked back around the corner, my back pressed to the wall, my eyes closing as I waited for a roar, and a sudden shifting of weight that might mean that the creature had changed shape.

Instead, I heard a loud clunkCRACK!

I swung around the corner, and saw that the rabbit had hopped into the trap, which had slammed shut around it. I aimed my accelerator pistol down at the blue hide, kneeling down. I waited, to see if the trap would work.

The rabbit sniffed at the bars. Its tail wagged slightly.

I lowered my pistol and frowned. I nudged the trap with my bare foot.

The rabbit blinked at me.

"...you're just a rabbit, aren't you?" I asked.

The rabbit made a soft clucking noise.

I sighed. "Whatever."

***

Dr. Hippington's eyes widened as he leaned down and eyed the rabbit. "This is spectacular! Finally, they must recognize my genius!" he said.

I wiped at my face with the wet cloth he had provided, hoping to dispel some of the odor. "Very well," I said. "Can I skin it?"

"What!?" Hippington exclaimed. "Absolutely not. Like anything we have could cut this fearsome beast!"

"Also, sir, it's in the cage," Virginia said. "We can't really skin it in the cage."

The rabbit chewed on the carrot that Hippington had provided it. It purred contentedly, like a small cat.

I looked towards the ceiling. "How might we skin it, Dr. Hippington?"

"You're not skinning this magnificent creature!" Dr. Hippington said, his hands going to his hips as he frowned at me. "You are taking it to the Tarantian Zoological society for verification and for entering into the taxonomic records. Once you have done this, you can verify you captured it to anyone in the world. No one can argue with the Tarantian Zoological society's certification!"

I put my hand over my face.

"Sir," Virginia whispered. "Mr. Bates would like a report on our mission so far. And we could use some fresh supplies and-"

"Fine." I said, dropping my hands. "Fine. We're going to Tarant."

Virginia smiled at me. "It's not that far."

We left on the 10^th of July.

We arrived at Tarant, bedraggled and with several new wounds from a run-in with a family of furious red bears, missing most of our ammunition after that incident with the Kite thieves, and with nothing to eat save for three oranges not ruined by the run-in with a half-ogre bandit, on the 24^th. As we walked along the bridge that spanned the Hadrian river and into Tarant proper, Virginia tried to sound chipper as she said: "Well, at least we made it!"