Arctic Night

When Bríd woke, Katja was sleeping. Fire had reduced to cinders and it was quite dark. Bríd had no idea what time it was. She was warm and cozy, still huddling close to Katja underneath the tall pile of blankets, even as the air in the cabin had chilled somewhat.

How Katja knew she was awake, Bríd had no idea. She didn't think she had moved. Katja groaned and stretched, long and dedicatedly, and then turned her head towards her.

"You always vake up so early?"

"Sorry," Bríd said. "What time is it?"

Katja fumbled for her phone from the nightstand. It was a little past seven in the morning. Katja groaned and curled up again.

"You hungry?" Katja asked after a while.

Bríd realized she was, indeed, hungry. Yesterday had been a big shock and she hadn't had supper.

Katja got out of bed, still stark naked except for her woolen socks. She put a few logs into the fire, stood looking that they caught, nodded when they did. She put coffee on and rummaged around in her fridge. Only then did she dress herself. She didn't seem to mind that Bríd watched, so she didn't bother turning around. She admired Katja's sleek body, the honey tone her skin had in the dim light of the fire, the way she moved with simple purpose and agility. Everything still felt a little unreal, and she thought Katja could've been some kind of an arctic goddess.

Katja went through Bríd's clothes, checking if they were dry.

"Your gun drop into water?" she asked.

"Um... no," Bríd said. "I didn't have it with me."

"You have no gun vith you?" Katja said and turned to look at her. Her expression added, "you idiot", even when she didn't say it out loud.

"How about your, your... fuck... naskalit, I mean... ispik, ice... ice spikes?"

Bríd blushed. She had ice spikes, and she remembered watching an instructional video of how you used them to climb out if you fell through ice. Currently, her ice spikes were at her cabin, carelessly tossed to the edge of the small table she used for writing. She had kept them with her religiously at first, but slowly her vigilance had waned, and for some time now she hadn't kept them on her.

Katja cussed, watching her expression, then laughed shortly. "Okay," she said. "Okay! You know vhat, you fail, you learn. And you need to have gun vith you. For polar bears. At all times. Okay?"

"Okay," Bríd said sullenly.

Katja came to sit at the edge of the bed.

"No vorry," she said in a friendly tone. "You fall in, you learn. Okay? Your shoes still vet, you need to vait. Soon, coffee and breakfast. Okay?"

"Okay."

Bríd squinted her eyes when Katja switched on the lights, including a bright daylight-lamp on her desk. She opened the lid of her laptop and sat down to work. Feeling of reality returned with artificial light and the sight of a computer. Bríd lay curled in the warmth of the bed, enjoying the lingering feel of sleep. She felt homey, like she was safe and everything was right in the world.

"What are you working on?" Bríd asked, when they sat drinking strong black coffee and eating breakfast.

"Research," mumbled Katja, her mouth full. "I'm vith university."

That made sense. Significant percentage of Svalbard's population at any given time were scientists. Bríd wanted to ask about her research, but had a feeling Katja wouldn't want to go into lengthy explanations with her clunky English, especially while she was eating. Bríd thought she'd ask later. It turned out she never did, and Katja's research remained forever a mystery to her.

After Bríd's boots had finally dried, Katja took her home with a snowmobile. She seemed to know exactly where Bríd's cabin was, and after dropping her off she drove away again, only raising her hand for a goodbye.

--#--#--#--#--

A few days later there was a knock on Bríd's door. She opened, puzzled, and in came Katja, bringing a whiff of brisk cold air with her.

"Hi! Today, no vind, ve practice," Katja said.

"Um... okay? Practice what?"

"I show you. Put this on."

She gave her a wetsuit, the kind divers used.

"Oh no," Bríd said.

"Oh yes," Katja said. "Come on, I show you."

Bríd huffed and puffed but put on the wetsuit, then her winter clothes. Katja gave her a helmet, made sure she took her ice spikes and gun, and then they drove the snowmobile to the ice. Bríd thought they'd go to the fishing ice hole, but it turned out Katja had made a new one, much closer to the shore.

"You do like this," Katja said and showed how she was supposed to hang the rope her ice spikes were attached to around her shoulders, slipping the ends through loops at the arms of her jacket. "You can also put rope inside, under, you understand. But always have it on when on ice."

"You don't have any?" Bríd objected. Katja laughed and showed she actually did, but that hers were in her pockets, fastened in place by a loop that held them in place so that the sharp tips didn't poke anything.

"These, more difficult, you have to not drop," she said. "You better vith rope. Now, you try."

Bríd looked at her, then at the hole in the ice, and really didn't want to jump in. She remembered the shock and the wild panic that had followed her sudden plummet the last time. Katja just stood, waiting.

"Here no deep," she said encouragingly.

Finally Bríd braced herself and went in. She couldn't make herself jump, but went to sit by the hole and lowered herself in. With the wetsuit it wasn't as deadly as without, simply highly unpleasant. Water was only up to her chest, which helped suppress the panic. She gasped for air, and fumbled to get the ice spikes in her hands, then hacked them into the ice and pulled herself out, painstakingly clumsily. She rolled a little further, like had been instructed in the video on how to rescue yourself from the ice, and lay there, panting but pleased with herself. She felt like a champion, like she'd just earned a medal in some kind of an arctic survival competition.

"Good!" Katja said. "Again."

Bríd let out an exasperated moan, but complied. She did it half a dozen times, and it got easier and easier. Eventually she almost enjoyed it.

"Good!" Katja said again. "Very good! You come to sauna, now."

"Sauna?" Bríd asked but followed her towards her cabin. With the wetsuit she wasn't freezing to death, but she was losing feeling on her feet and hands. Like Katja had said, it was a rare day in a sense that it wasn't windy, and without windchill she could manage her wet clothes better.

Katja took her to a door at the other end of her cabin, and when she opened it, a cloud of hot air greeted them. Bríd looked at her, eyebrows raised, but Katja just smiled and gestured her in.

There was a small room, apparently used for changing clothes, and they undressed swiftly. Katja opened another door, letting out even more heat, and they stepped into the actual sauna.

Bríd had never been in a sauna before, but she had read about them. Katja's was very small, and there was just enough room for them to sit on the top bench so that they didn't press against each other. Air was hot and humid, and warmed Bríd's chilled extremities wonderfully. She sighed and leaned against the wall, then squealed and sat upright again.

Katja laughed. "Hot? Here, this help."

Katja scooped water from a bucket and splashed it on the wall, spread it with her hand. "Now, quick, quick!"

Bríd leaned back, and true, the cool water had chilled the wall just enough that she could lean on it. Katja did the same for herself and they sat in companionable silence.

"This, löyly," said Katja and threw a small amount of water on the pile of rocks in the corner. There was a hiss, and a cloud of steam rose from the stones, swiftly enveloping them in an even more extreme heat. "This does you good after avanto training."

"Mm hm," Bríd agreed, stunned by how the heat burned her ears and how hot it was to breathe.

They sat and got warm and then warmer. Sauna was dim and the hot air and occasional puff of steam when Katja threw more water made it unreal. Bríd was soon sweating so that she had to wipe it from her eyes. "Huh, getting hot," she said.

"Yeah? We can cool, I'll show you."

Katja had a pair of rubber boots in the dressing room, and she gave Bríd the other pair. Bríd felt awkward and ridiculous standing there naked, with only her feet covered.

They stepped outside, Katja gripping her gun, and Bríd was astonished to see how their bodies steamed in the cold air. Katja looked otherworldly in the dim light from her cabin's exterior lamps and the starlight, when her naked form was obscured with the white curls of mist rising from her, mixing with the clouds of her breath.

"Okay! Follow me, like this!" Katja said gleefully. She took a few steps from the door towards the undisturbed snow, then to Bríd's amazement dived headlong to lie in it and rolled around, giggling.

"Are you mad!"

"Come, come, try!"

Bríd couldn't believe she was doing it. Then again, what was a roll in the snow after spending the morning climbing in and out a hole in the ice? She lowered herself carefully, squealing with how cold the snow was against her bare skin. She rolled around gingerly, then got swiftly up again. Her skin prickled all over, sending confused signals to her brain, and her nipples were so hard she could've cut glass with them. Katja laughed and jumped up and down with excitement.

"You did it! I didn't think you vould!"

"No? But you told me to!" Bríd exclaimed as they went back into the sauna. She discovered she felt wonderfully refreshed, and was looking forward to spending another long while in the hot room.

"You always do vhat I tell you?" Katja asked, as she settled to sit on the top bench again, her eyes glimmering mischievously. "I vill remember that."

Bríd laughed. She felt so good, the exercise from before combined with the sauna was the most alive she'd felt since... well, since she'd fallen into the sea and Katja had rescued her, now that she thought about it.

They sat in silence, hot humidity surrounding them. Sauna was very dimly lit, the atmosphere was dreamlike. It was difficult to estimate how long they'd sat there.

Sweat trickled down Bríd's skin, and she found herself scratching her arm absentmindedly.

"Wow," she said, surveying how the dead layers of her skin rubbed off in the heat and humidity. "Like a skin care routine, huh?"

"Yes," Katja agreed. "Here, let me."

Katja extended her arm and scratched Bríd's back gently, starting from near her neck and steadily progressing downwards. Every once in a while she poured a little water with the löyly scoop, and cool water trickling down her sweaty skin felt amazing. Bríd shuddered with delight. She would've welcomed Katja's touch on all of her body, but she only went through her back, albeit very thoroughly.

They spent some time alternating between sauna and outside. They even went back to the ice, and Katja took off her boots and dipped into the avanto, while Bríd held the gun. Bríd absolutely refused to try, and thought Katja had to be more than slightly mad. Watching how Katja gracefully lifted herself up again, looking like she was climbing out of a regular pool, Bríd had to wonder what it would feel to be naked in that cold, black, icy water. Stars glimmered over the snowy plains, stretching all the way to the horizon on the seaside, flanked by the dark outline of rugged peaks on the other.

Bríd felt wild joy and wonder as they walked through the snow back towards the cabin. Just to think that she was here, now, amongst this dark, cold, weird place. Just to think she got to experience something so peculiar in her lifetime. She felt truly blessed and truly in the moment, like all the mindfulness-goofs always said one should strive to be. Bríd doubted any of them ever managed the level of here-ness sauna and rolling in the snow invoked in her.

--#--#--#--#--

After the avanto-training session they seemed to officially qualify as friends. They met regularly, or irregularly, one or the other just stepped into the other one's cabin every few days to spend some time together. Bríd made sure she always had her ice spikes in place when she left to walk on the ice, and even kept her gun with her. She still hadn't seen any signs of polar bears, and kept the gun more to save herself from being berated by Katja than any actual fear of arctic predators.

--#--#--#--#--

Bríd crouched beside the fireplace at Katja's cabin, building up the fire in methodological, economic movements. She piled the logs and kindlings just so, then ripped a shred of paper from the wood basket to crumple it, in order to use it to light up the kindlings. It was a piece of an envelope, and Katja's Svalbard address was on it. She looked at the sender's address at the upper left corner and frowned. Finland?

Katja came in a few minutes later. Bríd was still by the fire, pleased with herself that she had managed to get it started with a single match.

"Oh, hi," she said to Katja. "Listen, there was an envelope here with a Finnish address, what was that about?"

"It was from my brother," Katja said. "His kids like to send paper letters."

"From... your brother?"

"Yes, my little brother."

"He lives in Finland?"

Katja laughed, that silent, almost inward-turned small chuckle she did. "Yes, he does. So do I, you know."

"What, you're from Finland? I thought you were Norwegian!"

"Nope, Finnish," Katja said and went to rummage through the cupboard, ready to get the coffee started.

"But, I thought I was the foreigner here! How is it that you're one of the locals and I'm not, when you're not from around here either? Or okay, I guess no one is from around here, but even Norway?"

"Now, you see," Katja said and smiled at her, firelight glinting in her teeth as she grinned. "I'm not local. But you, American. There's a difference."

She loaded the coffee pot, then glanced at Bríd again, a mischievous smile still on her face. "Finnish, we quiet. Norwegian, they also quiet. You American," - she made a gesture with her hand, tapping her fingers and thumb together - "yap, yap, yap, all the time yap, yap, yap."

"We do not," Bríd said, feigning being insulted. "I'm positively unsocial!"

Katja repeated the "yap, yap, yap" gesture. Bríd squeezed the rest of the envelope into a ball and threw it at her. Katja laughed as she dodged it.

"Don't be mad! It's not your fault. They bring you up that way. We, we do not look in eyes, we do not remember names, we are quiet all the time, all is okay. You, it not okay."

Grumbling, Bríd had to admit there was something to what Katja was saying. Being this far away from home helped put things in perspective. She had never been this far away from her culture, nor for this long. She had thought moving from one state to another constituted a major change, but now her signposts had shifted.

"Hei," Katja said gently, came to kneel beside her and nudged her. "You my favorite American. I'm glad you no drown in my avanto."

"Yeah?" Bríd said, not bothering to pretend to be angry anymore. "Avanto, huh?"

"Yes, it is Finnish for hole in ice."

"It's not Norwegian?"

"No. They probably have word for it. Me, not so good with languages. No need when no talking."

Katja chewed on her lower lip, chapped from the cold, and stared thoughtfully into the fire. After a minute she shrugged and turned her deep blue eyes back to Bríd. "Nope, no word," she said. "Avanto."

"Avanto," Bríd agreed.

Soon the coffee was ready.

--#--#--#--#--

Bríd startled when there was a knock on the door. Katja stepped in, uninvited, and a bit of snow swirled in by her feet before she closed it again. Bríd was a bit annoyed, she had been in the middle of a sentence, and could already feel her concentration evaporating.

"Yes?" she said, curtly.

"Happy New Year," Katja said. "Come on, put on your best shirt."

"My best what? Why? Wait, what did you say?"

Bríd looked at Katja, uncomprehending. She did some fumbling mental arithmetic. New Year's? It could well be New Year's. It was somewhere around this time of year, sure. She looked down at herself, at the thick dark blue fleece jumper she'd been wearing for the past two months almost non-stop. "What's wrong with this one?"

"Nothing, you pretty," Katja said. Bríd couldn't determine whether she meant it or not. She often suspected Katja was gently making fun of her, in her deadpan fashion.

"Come where?" Bríd asked, suspicious.

"I'll show you. Come on."

Bríd got curious, despite herself. She closed her laptop, put on her outside gear and followed Katja out. No one besides Katja had ever visited her cabin, and she had long ago stopped locking her things away. Katja had come with the snowmobile, and Bríd pulled on the helmet she handed her. It was chilly, but warmed quickly enough. She sat behind Katja, gripping her around the waist, and waited to see where they would end up.

Nearby was a small village Bríd usually visited for grocery shopping, and now Katja drove to its only bigger building and parked. They stepped inside, and to Bríd's amazement there was almost a crowd gathered there. It was apparently a school's gym, today refurbished into a make-shift bar. There were beer and stiff drinks for sale, and people were sitting along the long tables. In the far end of the room there was a television with a Norwegian forecast of New Year's celebration around the globe. Bríd looked at the fireworks on the TV screen, dazed, it felt so distant that something like that could exist in the same world she was in.

"You want drink?" Katja asked. "Beer or booze?"

"Huh?" Bríd said, tearing her eyes from the television. "Sure, um. Booze?"

Katja ordered and they went to sit by the nearest table. There were maybe twenty people present, most dressed like they were, in heavily insulated coveralls, many with helmets beside them, like they were, having arrived by snowmobiles. People sat in ones and twos, polite distance between them. Still, now that she paid attention, she noticed how Katja occasionally met somebody's gaze and nodded a very small and subdued nod. Bríd tried to do the same, but mostly people just stared at her, or just past her, blankly.

"Kippis," Katja said and clinked her glass against hers. "To New Year."

"What did you say again? Kippis? Yes, that."

"Booze" was probably vodka, so strong it made Bríd's eyes water, and definitely not very tasty. Still, it warmed wonderfully, and Katja smacked her lips and made a pleased sound.

"That'll keep your ass from freezing," she said with a smirk.

"Oh, yeah?" Bríd said and wiped her eyes. Goddamn the liquor was strong. "Bet I can drink more than you."

"Oh, no you can't," said Katja. "I'm Finnish, remember? Better not try."

Competitiveness stirred inside Bríd, but she thought it'd be better not to push it. Katja needed to drive them home, after all. So, instead, she followed how the changing year had been received in different countries around the world, alternated with Norwegian studio crew babbling something she couldn't follow. Katja got them another round, and slowly Bríd started to relax.

Atmosphere was very mellow and subdued, but not melancholy. People talked but very little, keeping long breaks in between. After a while a few men got up and started to throw darts at the corner. This was the closest Bríd had been to a pub in months, and it made her feel things she had trouble identifying. On one hand, it was comforting how people were people everywhere. On the other hand, it made her feel like an outsider, like any group of people normally did. For the first time in weeks thoughts of April bubbled up in her mind. The real world, the other world she'd escaped seemed suddenly closer, unpleasantly so. She pondered this, looking at the general direction of the TV on the pretense of looking at something, sipping the awful clear booze.