As Nature Intended

There it was. At last! And what a journey to get there. Why on earth had that stupid woman booked me in this place. 'That stupid woman' being Mrs Treadworthy the redoubtable travel administrator for the ridiculous company I worked for. Mrs Treadworthy had the responsibility for finding suitable accommodation for the middle management when they were out on their travels.

For 'suitable' read 'cheap'. She delighted in finding the cheapest place to stay. She didn't of course take into consideration simple things like how near they were to the railway station. It had taken two bus rides and a mile walk to get to this place. In the steadily increasing drizzle.

'Why didn't you take a taxi' I hear you say. You obviously work for a different sort of company to me, and I wasn't going to fork out twenty quid for a taxi out of my own pocket. It was a matter of principle.

Anyway I was there now. 'As Nature Intended' - what a name for a guest house. Probably run by some sandal wearing hippy types. Trust stupid Treadworthy to have found this place. Presumably it was the cheapest.

I put my finger out to ring the bell when suddenly the door opened. Things were looking up! The girl opening the door was... Well cheekily sexy is I suppose the best way to describe her. Small, dark, slim with a sort of mischievous impish grin.

"Hi," she said, smiling broadly, "Welcome to 'As Nature Intended'."

"Hi," I answered rather nervously. I wish I didn't, but I always get nervous confronted by cheeky girls.

"Er.. I'm Mr......, er... booking for one night. From Garden Gnomes Ltd."

"Garden Gnomes!" she said trying to suppress a laugh. That's the usual response, but as long as someone wants to buy them, someone's got to make them!

With a supreme effort she suppressed her mirth, "Come on in," she said, "I'm Anita. This is my mother's guest house. She's away for the night and left me in charge. I'll show you to your room."

She turned round, and I had a view of a nicely shaped bum under her short tight skirt as she preceded me up the stairs.

"And what brings you to 'As Nature Intended'?" she asked as we reached the door to my room.

"I always try to find a place like this," I answered somewhat disingenuously, well she had a nice bum and I didn't like to admit that I'd been cursing the awful Treadworthy for sending me there.

"You like it then?"

"It's a very nice bottom... Er... No... I mean... I didn't mean your bottom I mean... Oh dear..."

Oh no! I'd meant to say bedroom, but my mind was still fixated on her bottom.

"What... You mean I haven't got a nice bottom?"

"No.. I mean yes.. I mean it's a very nice bottom but..."

"But what?"

"I mean I always come to er... Places like this..."

"You mean where the girls have nice bottoms?"

"No, I mean..."

"Oh I see," she answered, "a committed naturist eh?"

"Absolutely," I replied. If she wanted me to be keen on nature, who was I to object!

"See you at dinner," she said, "seven thirty sharp and strict dress code, or not, as it were," she added as she closed the door behind her.

Strict dress code or not? What on earth was that? I idly picked up a photocopied clipping from a local newspaper which had been left on the bedside table and my mouth fell open.

'Where guests go nude', it read, 'As Nature Intended is Britain's first naturist guest house. From seven in the evening to ten in the morning guests are in the buff....'

I looked at the Guest House brochure. There it was complete with discreet photos - Naked as Nature Intended. The country's first and best naturist guest house. I gulped.

Oh My God! What had the wretched Treadworthy done, and more to the point, what on earth was I going to do now! I couldn't stay in a nudist guest house, I mean I couldn't! Could I?

But what else could I do? Apart from having to trudge all the way back into town and then look for somewhere else, there was the embarrassment of going to tell Anita there'd been a mistake. I looked at the clock. It was past seven already.

I read the brochure some more.

'Welcome to As Nature Intended. The country's only Nudist Guest House. There is only one house rule here. Between seven in the evening and ten in the morning all guests must be completely nude in all the public area of the guest house. Dinner is served at seven-thirty, breakfast at eight. So yes nude for dinner and nude for breakfast. Any guest found breaking these rules will be asked to leave immediately..."

I looked out the window. A cold wet rain was pouring down. I couldn't risk being thrown out now!

My God, I was going to have to go down to dinner in the nude. Anita would see me in the nude. It was too embarrassing for words. What on earth was I going to do!

I sat and thought, lost in indecisiveness, and the longer I thought the harder it became to escape. Slowly the realisation came to me. I was going to have to go through with it. I was going to have to go down to dinner in the nude.

I looked at the clock. Seven twenty. Ten minutes and I'd have to be down there naked. I stood paralysed with doubt as the minutes ticked by, then suddenly. Bang. Bang bang! I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was the dinner gong. I was going to have to go through with it. I tore my clothes off, dashed to the door and out on to the stairs. There I stopped. I could hear voices in the dining room. There were more guests. Somehow I had only thought of Anita. I swallowed hard and crept down the stairs. My heart was thumping wildly. How had I got into this mess. Why hadn't I just walked out when I first realised what had happened? I had reached the bottom of the stairs. The dining room was just the other side of the door. They were girls voices and they sounded louder than ever. I turned and ran back to my room.

"Come on," I said to myself, "you've got to do it. Get a grip," if you don't go she'll come looking for you."

My heart was thumping ten to the dozen I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't going to cut an impressive figure. I was blushing beetroot red, I was covered in goose bumps, my willy was dangling pathetically and my balls (pardon my French) were as tight as a Scotsman's wallet. Sure signs of crippling embarrassment and nerves.

What are you so embarrassed about, I tried to convince myself. Everybody will be the same. It will be quite natural. Get a grip on yourself.

There was only one thing for it. No creeping about. Go out. March down the stairs. Open the door and walk straight in. No need to be embarrassed. Everyone will be the same. Don't try and hide anything. Just walk straight in. On the count of ten. I counted down... Ten, nine, eight... Three..two..one...

And off I set. Straight along the corridor, down the stairs. Don't stop to think about the voices. Across the hall. Grab the dining room door handle and march straight in...

*****

April the first. The day for practical jokes and I love practical jokes. You know the secret of pulling off a good practical joke is in the planning. Indeed half the fun is in the planning. Making sure that every little detail is right. Making sure that the embarrassment of the victim is maximised because they don't suspect a thing until the trap is sprung.

Oh yes. I love practical jokes. And maximising the embarrassment of the victim is always the aim.

The idea had come to me as soon as I knew my mother was leaving me in charge of our little guest house called 'As Nature Intended'.

"You're eighteen now," she'd said, "you can jolly well do some work for a change. And none of your tricks or you're not too old to get your bottom smacked!"

It was a favourite phrase of my mother's. You might wonder why mother was leaving an eighteen year old girl in charge of her guest house. Well she had an invite to spend the evening with her gentleman friend. If she came back with no knickers on she'd be in a good mood, if he hadn't got them off it would be a smacked bottom for somebody I was sure of that!

The phrase 'Naked as Nature Intended' will probably come to your mind, and it certainly came to mine if not to my mother's! I suddenly thought, wouldn't it be funny if I could persuade an unsuspecting guest that he had come to a naturist hotel by mistake. After all practical jokes involving nudity are always the best. It had to be a 'he' of course I wouldn't play such a mean trick on a girl! And the wonderful thing was, all the other guests were girls from the college girls netball club.

But everything had to be right. Everything had to be convincing. It took a little time to mock up the newspaper cutting on the computer and to produce a little hotel brochure by a slight manipulation of the real one.

Then it was just a question of waiting for the victim. The woman on the telephone making the booking had described him in some detail. He was the perfect victim!

And there he was, perfect, slim, good looking and rather nervous. Totally gullible. Just the sort to be taken in completely. It was so was simple. Waggle my bum at him to get him flustered. Give him a little comment about a naturist hotel as a convincer, sit back and wait for the fun! Yes simple. Cruel but simple. But that's what practical jokes are all about. Maximising the humiliation of the victim.

*******

I looked round the room horror struck. About eight girls were congregated in the dining room waiting for dinner. They were all normally dressed.

I'd walked into a room of normally dressed girls and I was completely in the nude. What was happening. Why weren't they all naked. Had I not read the brochure correctly?

"But... But.." I stammered.

I stood paralysed with embarrassment and looked wildly round for Anita.

She was standing behind me with her back to the door, looking as cheeky as ever with a big grin on her face.

"April fool!" she said.

***************

I could hardly wait at dinner. Would he fall for it? All the girls were down for dinner and he hadn't arrived. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and then retreat. It was so disappointing. He was going to back out.

Then suddenly more footsteps, the door sprang open and there he was.

There are some occasions when everything in a practical joke works to absolute perfection. When the embarrassment of the victim is so total it's almost a work of art.

The look on his face! Standing there in front of a roomful of girls. Completely starkers! I could have died laughing, although of course it was essential to keep a straight face.

Time to let him know he'd been tricked. I slipped behind him to block off his escape.

"April fool!" I said.

He looked round the room and I could see the look of panic as he realised how he'd fallen for the joke. His embarrassment at being in the nude and his embarrassment at having been pranked. It was so funny.

He wasn't even trying to hide his willy! It was one full view. And a really impressive one it was too! I got a good look. Well a girl has to have a little reward for all her efforts!

Suddenly I saw his eyes follow my gaze and he realised he was showing everyone his naughty bits. His hands clamped rapidly over his willy and he stood frozen to the spot in the classic knock-kneed pose of the embarrassed nude, his face crimson with embarrassment.

"Sorry everyone," I said, "just my little joke for April Fool's Day, it's a sort of tradition here at As Nature Intended," and everyone burst into howls of laughter. Well they would wouldn't they.

That's human nature for you. Everyone likes to laugh at the victim. Especially if they have no clothes on!

And here they were enjoying my little bit of theatre. Apart from the victim of course. I"d have to turn the screw on him.

"Come on in. Come on in," I said, "thanks for being such a good sport."

He was looking like he wanted to escape. And we couldn't have that. We really couldn't have that. How was I going to stop him escaping? Every good practical joker knows that the nude victim is the vulnerable victim. They can be made to do anything you want. And of course you want the fun to go on.

And what about the girls of the college netball club? They'd been a few times. I knew them well. They'd be up for it of course. That was the beauty of it. I had the perfect group of girls staying at the guest house to embarrass him in front of and they'd be really up for it. They were important to the prank, not only to embarrass the victim, but also because a good prank needs witnesses, and everyone enjoys a good prank. They enjoy seeing the discomfort of the victim, it gives them a sense of superiority. And netball club girls enjoy being superior very much.

************

"April Fool," she said, "just my little joke. Thanks for being a good sport."

Oh my Gosh! I suddenly realised I'd been completely had. It wasn't a naturist guest house at all. It had all been a prank and I'd fallen for it hook, line and sinker. What a fool I'd been. What on earth was I to do! Why on earth, you are asking, didn't I turn and run; but I had no clothes on, and I was being told I was a good sport, and now they'd all started applauding! So I stood there in an agony of indecision until Anita took hold of my hand and said, "Don't just stand there, come and meet the girls," and, my face burning with embarrassment, I did just that.

"This is Nathalie," said Anita, introducing me to a striking and rather muscular dark haired girl, "she's the captain of the netball team."

"Nice to see you," said Nathalie winking, "thanks for being such a good sport. Lots of men would have just run after giving us such a good laugh. It must be really embarrassing for you to be such a sucker and end up stuck in the altogether with a group of girls for the evening. We can get a bit naughty you know."

For the evening! I'd just thought I'd be introduced to the girls and then be able to escape. How had I ever been so stupid as to fall for such and obvious prank, and now I'd somehow committed myself to staying naked the whole evening.

"Yes, er... Yes it is rather," and I went bright red again. I should have run then, but I was in the nude and I didn't know how to stand up for myself.

"And this is Tracey, and Emily, and Big Pat and Little Pat, Cassandra and Dolores," Nathalie introduced me to the girls in the team, who grinned, smirked or giggled depending on their personal proclivities.

"Come on," said Anita, "get the girls some drinks. The April Fool has to serve the drinks you know! A little punishment for being a sucker!"

"Yes, of course," I said.

"Mine's a white wine," said Big Pat, a girl whose size matched her name. She was a hefty lass, used to getting her own way, and a little bit of a bully I would think, "come on Big Boy, jump to it."

She was looking at my willy, and it was obvious what her reference meant. It suddenly occurred to me that my cock was on view and all the girls would be sizing it up.

"Come on, jump to it, the others will have a white wine as well."

"Yes Miss," of course I jumped to it, when you've got no clothes on, you do as you're told.

**************

I had thought just to let him run after making him serve the drinks. I might just have got away with it when mother got back, if I let him go now, but he looked so sweet and so vulnerable, with his willy dangling, and his cute little bottom when he bent over; and he seemed so compliant and so easy to boss around that I thought, let's just see how far we can get him to go, just how much could I humiliate him before he cracked. It would mean a spanking and a half off my mother when she found out, but it would be worth it. And after all he'd been cheeky about my bottom, so he deserved it didn't he?

"Thank you," I said as he handed me my drink, "now you can serve dinner, and after we've eaten you can do your party tricks."

"Party tricks Miss?" I could see his face turn red again as he digested this news and tried to think what on earth party tricks would consist of.

"Yes party tricks. The April Fool always has to entertain the guests. You know that. You know you're the entertainment for the evening."

"Yes Miss, but I thought...."

"Then you thought wrong. Start serving the food. It's all set out for you."

Knowing my total lack of any cooking abilities my mother had left out a buffet supper on the big table for the guests to help themselves, except of course our little bare rabbit was going to serve it to us.

It was really fun. The best prank ever and he was completely under my thumb now and everyone was getting just a little bit tipsy; and you know what tipsy girls are like when they are confronted by a bare bottom. They really can't help smacking it. They really can't.

************

"Ow!" I yelped.

One of the girls had dropped a napkin on the floor and I'd been instructed to pick it up. Of course I did. Well I had no clothes on, and when you have no clothes on you do as you're told.

"Ow" her hand smacked my bare behind again and all the girls roared and laughed.

Soon they were all at it, "OohI've dropped my spoon. Do pick it up!"

Smack!

"Ooh! I've dropped my fork. Do pick it up..."

Smack!

My bottom was soon glowing as red as my face.

"Right," said Anita, "behave yourselves girls. His poor bottom is bright pink, now clear the dishes away, we need on the big table for your party tricks."

"On the table!" I gasped.

"That's what I said. Now jump to it before I put you over my knee and give you a proper spanking!"

"Yes Miss," I had no doubt by now that I'd get a good spanking if I didn't do as I was told. The girls were all getting rather merry to say the least.

"Gather round girls and up on the table with you."

"Yes Miss." I got up on the table completely nude and in full view of everyone. It was a long dining room table down the centre of the room.

"Now I'll put some music on and you can give us a little walk up and down the table like a model on the catwalk."

********^^

I had a job getting him to do it. Walking up and down the table in the nude, with his hand on his hip and wiggling his little pink bottom as he walked. It was worth it though. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, his dangling willy swinging from side to side, both sets of cheeks bright red, and the girls thought it hilarious - got some great pictures as well!

Then I had the bright idea to get him to dance. I put on some ballet music! He was actually surprisingly good, strutting up and down, striking naked poses for the girls to photograph.

It was naughty of me to make him do it, really naughty, but then...

********^**

They made me walk up and down the table and then dance with nothing on. And the more I showed off the more aroused I became. After all, showing off your naked body to girls, it is arousing isn't it? And of course arousal has very visual results. It wasn't long before the girls were cheering and my cock was no longer dangling, it was pointing straight at the ceiling. And the girls had their mobile phones out. What idiot invented phones that could take pictures!

And there I was standing posing nude on the table for the girls to take pictures, my face burning with embarrassment when...

"What on earth is going on...."

I turned to look, and standing in the doorway was a rather striking looking lady in her mid-thirties with dark hair and a rather shocked expression.

"Mother!" Shrieked Anita, and it was clear that the lady of the house had returned.

"Thank you Anita," said Nathalie, captain of the netball team, "thanks for being such a good sport and allowing us to have a stripper," she said to Anita winking.

"Anita!" Admonished the mother, "what on earth have you been up to inviting a stripper to the evening! You're eighteen years old. You're supposed to be old enough to to be responsible. This isn't another of your japes is it. If it is you're going to get the spanking of your life young lady!"