Ashton Hill Naked Sundays

"You don't even know me," she shook her head. "I'm not that girl," she said, knowing she had said it far too often lately for him to take any notice of her.

"And I'm not that guy either," he said adamantly.

"You don't understand," she sighed and seemed to sag visibly.

"Then explain it to me!" he said, becoming frustrated.

"You said you've been looking for me," she said quietly.

"I have," he agreed.

"You wrote that song hoping I would hear it and reach out to you," she added.

"That's true," he admitted.

"Last weekend you said you'd been fantasising about me and the things you would do, how you wanted to fuck me if you ever found me again," she turned to look at him as he nodded, frowning, trying to understand where she was going with this. It was all true, he'd told her himself.

"Don't you see? The memories, the fantasy, the reason you wrote that song, were all the girl I was. I'm not her!" Estelle explained as if to a two a year old. "You have spent years wanting that girl, and this girl, the one right here and now, is very different from her."

Awareness dawned slowly on Jason, and he couldn't deny what she was saying. He fought the urge to argue the point she was making with him and drew a deep breath. Before he could string his panicked thoughts together, she spoke again.

"What you want is gone. It's not me. I can't be that girl again, and you're too wrapped up in the fantasy to realise it," she said sadly. "Jason, this is a mistake for both of us. You have to know that now. It can't work in the real world, and we can't live our lives in the bedroom wrapped in your fantasy of that girl and how things used to be."

"No, it's you who doesn't understand," he said. "Let me show you something, please. Then I will take you home, if that is what you want."

"I don't know what good it will do, but if you'll promise to take me home and give me back my phone as soon as I've seen it," she negotiated. "Fine, I'll go and look at whatever it is."

Without another word, Jason started his car and drove out of the carpark, heading south. Neither spoke as he drove, both lost in their own thoughts. Jason, though, was focused on convincing her she was wrong. Yes, his memories were of her as she was, but over the last two weeks had gotten to see glimpses of who she was now, and, if anything, he knew he could fall even more deeply in love with her. Seeing her classroom and class had only made him surer of his decision to pursue her, regardless of her reservations and the constant jibes that she was only using him for his body. She was amazing on so many levels, and he had to convince her that he saw her as she was now, not as the girl she had been.

*****

Chapter 10

"Where are we going?" she asked as she began to recognise landmarks.

"I think you know, but you'll be surprised by the changes," he said softly.

"The Water Hole is still there?" she was incredulous. It was a dump when the band used to hang out there and have their practice room next door in the disused craft brewery.

"In a manner of speaking," he smiled. "The name's the same, but that's about it." Jason pulled into the carpark before the completely refurbished hotel. "They even restored the old brewery and brew some good stuff there." He indicated the smaller building. "Come in for one drink and have a look around," he said quietly, wanting desperately for her to say yes.

"Sure," Estelle agreed, her curiosity about the place where she had spent so much of her teenage years winning out over her need to get away from Jason. She'd said what she needed to make sure he understood that any future he thought they had together was doomed.

"Great," he said, getting out of the car and hurrying around to her side to help her out. He took her hand as they walked inside, making her frown at him. He pretended not to notice as he greeted the security men by name at the front door and guided her through by placing a hand on the small of her back. "What would you like to drink?" he asked, leaning close to her as she took a moment to look around.

"Could I have a fire engine?" Estelle grinned. It had been a long time since she had stopped drinking the pink vodka-based cocktail.

"Sure," he laughed lightly. "Come with me to the bar." He was reticent to leave her alone again, and he wondered if the owner and regulars would recognise her. He continued to guide her through the light crowd.

"Hey, Jase," the barman greeted him like an old friend. "What can I get you?"

"Do you remember how to make a fire engine?" He asked, making the barman raise his eyebrow and nod. "And a pure blonde," he said with a chuckle.

"Looks like you've already got one," the barman nodded to the girl with her back to the bar looking around at the hotel's interior.

"You don't recognise her?" he asked and leaned toward Estelle, saying her name to make her turn back around toward the bar.

"Holy shit! Stella!" the barman stared at her in amazement.

"Hi, Alex," she smiled. "It's hard to believe this is the same place. I didn't expect you to still be here."

"Yeah, I'm in it for the long haul now," Alex said with a smile. "Basil will have a coronary when he sees the two of you together. Kieran's about to start a set, he'll be out for that. His reaction is going to be priceless."

"Basil is here too?" Estelle's eyebrows shot up. "I assumed he'd sold the place."

"It's the same place with the same memories, and same people, just different, because nothing stays exactly the same. Doesn't mean we can't enjoy the new version as well as the memory," Jason said, making his point.

"It's not the same thing," Estelle narrowed her eyes at him.

"Sure it is. You came in because you had good memories here. It's different, so your expectations have changed, but you still wanted to come in and explore all those differences and rediscover the things that haven't changed and maybe even make some new memories," Jason spoke with conviction. "I love your differences from that girl, just as I am enjoying the little glimpses of her that appear now and then." He bumped his beer to her pink drink and grinned. "I want you as you are right now, the woman who shares these memories with me, as well as the sweet teacher who loves her job and her class. I am looking forward to getting to know even more of those differences as well."

"Well, fuck me!" exclaimed a gruff voice as a wiry old man crossed the room and caught Estelle in a hug.

"No thanks, Basil," Estelle laughed, falling into familiar banter with the flirty old man.

"Still can't get him to share, huh?" He eyed Jason with mock disgust. "He was always a selfish bastard. Not that I blame him."

"Should I expect to see anyone else I know tonight?" she asked Jason once Basil had let her go.

"More than likely. The guys all came back to the city for the week," he shrugged.

"I need to introduce Kieran. I'll be back," Basil said, moving away from her toward the small stage in the far corner in front of what she assumed was a dance floor.

"You all still hang out here?" she asked, not sure why she was surprised.

"Where else would we go?" he chuckled. "This is our place even more so than it was. Red convinced his old man that the craft brewery was a great retirement hobby, and he talked to my old man and Eric's, so it's like a family business now. You're not the only one who changed, Stella, we all did. We all grew up; it doesn't make our memories less valid, or make us love this place less. It's better, and so are we, if you would just give us a chance. There are always going to be Isabellas', just like there are always going to be guys like Darren. We can't do anything about that, and we can't worry about what happened when we weren't together. Only what happens now."

"I hear you," she said, taking a gulp of her drink. She understood why she was here and why Jason wanted her to see the place she had avoided for years. It was different, very different, but the friendly comfortable atmosphere remained the same, as did the people who genuinely seemed happy to see her again.

"Do you want to see the guys?" he asked tentatively.

"Do I have a choice?" she asked.

"If we stay here much longer, no," he indicated a table where a large group sat, most of them watching Jason surreptitiously. They turned towards the stage, however, as Basil began to speak into a microphone, introducing Kieran.

"Let's get it over with then," she drew a deep breath, noting the women who sat with the three other band members. "Wait, I need another drink first," she said nervously. Stopping him and moving back toward the bar before being led to the table of band members who all greeted her warmly as if she had always been there with them.

The music was good, and her drink never seemed to run out as Estelle found herself relaxing. Jason's friends all treated her as if she belonged to the group, and none of the women seemed put out by the constant attention and physical contact Jason gave her. The awful scene with Isabella faded, and Estelle tried to put it into perspective with what she had seen of Jason for the remainder of the night. She found herself sitting beside Greg at one point, and he grinned as Jason was deep in conversation with Basil.

"I was always his stand in with you. Whenever he was being an arse you'd come talk to me," Greg said, sounding regretful. "I used to wish you'd look at me the same way you always looked at him."

"Really?" she laughed. "You wanted me to look at you with daggers in my eyes?"

"Hardly," he chuckled with her. "You loved him then, and he was an arse. He became an even bigger arse the year after you left until he partied too hard and wound up in hospital."

"I heard. We ran into Isabella earlier tonight. She told me to fuck off and leave him alone before I hurt him again," Estelle admitted. "I guess she had a point."

"Heh, that girl's worse than a stalker. I don't know how Jase puts up with her, but she called the ambulance for him that night. So we sort of owe her, because it was the wakeup call he needed and forced him to make some tough decisions," Greg said. "All things happen for a reason, and, in the end, you leaving was the best thing for you both at the time. It's good to see you together again though."

"That's what he says," she replied only half joking. Her fears that the band would blame her for him going off the rails seemed unfounded. They genuinely seemed happy to see her and have her here with them.

"Rumour has it you can sing," Greg smirked, changing the subject.

"And Play," Red said, joining the conversation from the other side of Greg.

"My audience is a bunch of five-year-olds who think the Wiggles and High Five is the epitome of good music," she laughed.

"That's a bit harsh, Eric's immature... but five?" Red snorted.

"Today was a one-off performance. I was filling in for a friend. Trust me, Eric over exaggerated the fact that I can sing, I can't," she laughed.

"Red and I are feeling a bit ripped off that we've never heard you sing. Why don't you sing with Kieran, he'd love it?" Greg suggested.

"Leave her alone, she doesn't want to sing in this place," Jason interrupted the conversation, coming to her rescue.

"Since when are you the expert on what I want?" she asked, turning a hard gaze on him. She saw the flash of anger in his eyes for just a second before he schooled his features again.

"Do you want to sing?" he asked in a calm, curious voice and tilted his head.

"No, but I am quite capable of telling them myself!" she said, regretting the harshness of her words.

"Okay," he said, holding up his hands as if in surrender. He had planned to suggest Estelle swapped to water, because he didn't want her drunk when he took her home and had to convince her to stay, but the look she gave him made him stay silent. "Would you like another drink?"

"Yes, please," she said with a hint of contrition.

"Same again, or water?" he asked, unable to help himself, he was worried about her.

"Both," she asked hopefully, understanding his hint and meeting him halfway. She was rewarded by a smile as he stood and walked back toward the bar, leaving her once again sitting with his two bandmates.

"What was that about?" Red asked.

"Isabella did a number on her earlier before they got here, and I think Jase is being made to pay for it," Greg said as if it made sense. "Told her about the hospital and that it was her fault and told her to fuck off before she killed him this time."

"What?" Red looked at Greg incredulously. "How did Isabella find her?"

"Stalker, duh!" Greg chuckled. "I think Jase finally gets how psycho she is. There comes a time when you have to stamp that bitch paid in full and send her on her way."

"I'm sure Jason has a lot of groupies just waiting to tell me to fuck off," she said lightly, despite the twisting of her stomach.

"This is where we all hang out; do you see any?" Greg asked, looking at her. "When he got his shit together they were the first thing to go. Even Eric started seeing someone seriously," he nodded to the pretty young woman sitting with Eric. "Jase became a frigging workaholic and forced us to get our shit together and take it seriously or walk."

"He never would have let you walk, he loves you guys like brothers," Estelle shook her head unbelievingly.

"Even brothers fight," he shrugged. "Now, about this singing you were going to do for us, let's go see what's left on Kieran's playlist."

"No," she laughed. "That is not going to happen." She turned to watch Jason as he approached the table again. Maybe she hadn't given him enough credit. She'd been so focused on how much she had changed that she hadn't considered the way he had changed his life. Not really. They had talked non-stop over the last week, especially, but she wasn't sure she'd actually heard him. She had just put everything in the context of the man she had known, not who he was now. She had done exactly what she had been accusing him of while he was trying to get to know the new person she claimed to be. She stared at him without realising it as her thoughts rolled around in her head.

"Everything okay?" he asked anxiously as he sat beside her, putting a jug of ice water on the table with two glasses, as well as another fire engine for her.

"Yeah, it's weird, you know," she looked around. "Being here with the guys in this place. Everything's changed, and I'm not sure I've given you enough credit," she admitted. "Did you always plan to bring me here tonight?"

"No, I had something far more intimate planned," he murmured in her ear. "I told you I wasn't ready to share you yet, but after Isabella..." he paused. "I needed you to see that you weren't the only one to have changed and not be the same person you were back then. None of us are, even this place has changed, and it's not a bad thing."

"I understand that now," she said softly, and leaned forward to kiss him chastely, wanting to take the anxiousness out of his eyes. "I get it," she whispered and smiled.

Jason placed his hands on either side of her neck and used his thumbs to tilt her face up to look into her eyes, searching them for the truth. Then he kissed her properly. Uncaring of the catcalls and comments around them, he deepened the kiss, taking her breath away and feeling her arms curl around his waist. When he finally released her from the kiss, he smiled softly.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked hopefully.

"Soon, I need the bathroom," she got to her feet unsteadily and smiled. "I need some of that water too," she admitted, as Jason stood to steady her. "You can't come with me," she laughed teasingly.

"I won't deny that the thought crossed my mind," he chuckled.

"Another fantasy?" she asked in a soft voice close to his ear.

"Can't deny that either," he shook his head, making her laugh. "I can't get enough of you. I'll take you wherever and whenever you let me."

"It's fast becoming my fantasy that my underwear survives a night with you," she ran her hands down his chest and murmured her appreciation. "I'll be right back," she suddenly turned away and walked toward the bathroom.

Jason breathed a sigh of relief and sank back down into his chair, watching her go. He mentally placed another win on the scoreboard in his head, wondering how many wins he would need before he won the war with her.

******

Chapter 11

Estelle came out of the stall feeling relieved and stepped up to the mirror, running her fingers through her hair, noting that the new product Jason had encouraged her to try was keeping the frizz at bay, despite the humidity of the club.

"So, you're the Yoko of Midnight Blue," the woman beside her said casually.

"You've got to be kidding me," Estelle sighed and turned to look at the woman. She didn't recognise her from their table, and realised she was one of those groupies who posed as friends. "Let me guess, you think I should fuck off before I hurt Jason and wreck the band... again."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," the woman said sweetly.

"You're not the first woman to say that to me tonight," Estelle informed her. "Though you're not nearly as pretty or as psycho as she was, but that's just an assumption. I doubt she would have followed me into the bathroom; she at least had the balls to tell me to fuck off in front of Jason."

"I'm very protective of Jason and the guys, I wouldn't want them to see just how stupid they all were for trusting you again!" she sneered.

"Here's the thing, I tried to leave, to fuck off, several times over the last two weeks since he found me, including earlier tonight. He won't let me. He wants me here. His friends want me here. I don't see them inviting you into their inner circle, but, by all means, join us. Come and tell Jason to give me back my stuff that he's holding hostage so I can't leave, and, hey, I'll fuck right off out of their lives and yours." Estelle challenged her. "Just let me fix my make-up so I can make an impression as I leave so you can make sure they blame me and not you for leaving."

"That's it? You'll just go and leave Jason alone?" she asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

"You didn't hear me!" Estelle hissed. "He chases me, I'm not the one following him around to his gigs or where he hangs out with his friends! He brought me here, and he has my stuff so I won't run away every time some love-sick bimbo who is following him around comes to tell me to fuck off! Look, he's amazing in bed, and that body, wow, right? I totally get why you would want to keep it to yourself. He is so hot I get wet just thinking about him," Estelle said crudely. "But there is more to life than mind-blowing sex, right? Tell you what, you get my phone back for me and I'll go. I've been trying to fuck off since the first psycho bitch thought she'd do Jase a favour tonight and told me to fuck off back to where I came from. Who needs that grief in their life, or the knowledge that the guy they are sleeping with is banging every chick they come across? I can't guarantee he'll be happy about your help in getting rid of me, though, since he won't leave me alone! Still, it's worth the risk, right? Shall we go?"

"Wait!" a voice came from a toilet stall, and Eric's girlfriend, Claire, appeared. "Wait for me, I have got to see this go down!" she rubbed her hands with glee as she washed them. "It was nice to see you again, Estelle, keep in touch this time, we'll do lunch or something." She barely hid her smirk, playing along with the game Estelle was quite obviously playing. "I didn't realise anyone aside of Isabella felt so strongly about your Yoko vibe," she said with a perfectly straight face. "What was your name again?" she asked the girl.

"Amanda," the girl said stiffly. "We've met a few times," she clarified for Estelle's benefit.