Audentes Fortuna Iuvat

"As for the other two shitbirds-" He began, but stopped when he saw her close her eyes and smile bitterly, shaking her head ever so slightly as tears squeezed forth from the inner corners of her closed eyes and trailed slowly down her flawlessly dark cheeks.

"Yeah," she began. "the other two. The two guys from the side of your life you couldn't trust me to know about..."

"Ronnie, I apologize for not telling you about everything I was dealing with, and about how I saw a chance in helping you, to help myself, too." He said, sliding an inch closer to her, unable to maintain even the narrow distance that had just a moment before separated them. Jack was close enough now to feel Veronica's breaths against his forearms and hands as she tried to breathe slowly and deeply.


"Jack, don't twist things. I do NOT begrudge you helping get yourself out of trouble; Baby, don't ever think that's what makes this hurt! I love you, Jack, I don't want you to ever be in danger, and I certainly want to help you get out of it if I ever can! But it hurts me-" She said, pausing to stifle a sob that had begun to lift the end of her words beyond conversational level. "It hurts that you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you were facing, that you willfully kept that information from me! Babe, that hurts so much! You tell me that you love me, Jack, but if that's so, why wouldn't you tell me about something as important as this? Why would you keep me from being fully involved in such an important part of your life?!" She asked as tears ran freely down her cheeks and her voice cracked again as her eyes and mouth reflected in a grimace of pain the feelings she radiated from her heart outward.

"I thought I was protecting you, Ronnie. I thought that by keeping this from you, if somehow things went sideways and Masud or his thief-in-law compatriots found you, that you could plead genuine ignorance and, I don't know... When I look back on it now, it makes no sense. The kind of man Masud was, he'd have killed you too, simply because if he found you, you'd have seen his face and would be a liability. I don't know, Ronnie. I didn't think it through, and I hate how now after everything we have, I do this to you... I am so sorry." He said, and she could see the shame and anger in his eyes, but she knew it was self-directed.

"I can't be here anymore, Jack. I need to leave, to get out of here. I have to get far away from here, from you, and just think." She told him, but didn't, couldn't look at him. Veronica wiped her eyes, inhaled deeply and looked around the room, trying to formulate a plan from her mounting desire to put distance between herself and Jack, the city of Indianapolis and everything that had been her life for the last few years. A part of her wanted to slow down, to not leave him, but at the moment it was the lonely voice of caution shouting into the headwinds of a category four hurricane of angry inertia pushing her forward toward her destiny.

"I need you to leave the room now, Jack. I have to get packed and be ready to leave first thing in the morning. Can you give me the room to myself for the night?"

Jack looked up at her and she saw fully on display a look of shame, despondence and defeat plastered across his face. His skin was pale, if not gray, and he looked smaller than she'd ever thought of him as being. His eyes were dull and his voice flat as he answered. 


"Okay. I understand."

She watched him slowly get to his feet from where he'd sat on the bed as he'd told her all that had happened the night before. He walked quietly out of the room and just as quietly shut the door behind him as he left.

XLVIII

Friday, 18 December 2016, 0730

Jack had feigned interest long enough in the Company Commander's brief to where he felt he could now slouch down a little further in his chair and take a few minutes to look down at the letter and accompanying photo he kept with him, always in the right side breast pocket of his multicam uniform blouse. Jimmy glanced down at what Jack held in his hands, from the vantage point where he sat in his seat to Jack's right. Jimmy smiled at what he knew he'd see, and looked back up at their Commander as he continued to discuss their next movement plan. Jack forced himself to (for the moment), ignore the picture, for which he knew every pixel by heart, until after he'd re-read the creased and well-folded letter.

"My dearest Jack,

I hope this letter finds you well (and healthy!) As I write this letter to you, I have been thinking a lot about my decision that awful day to leave you; Baby, please understand, I felt trapped, angry at myself. I was so confused about what to do and it was the hardest decision I have ever made. Jack, I love you so much, you risked so much, gave so much for me, I can never repay the kindness and love you showed me. I was never happier in my life than I was during those few weeks we had before you deployed. I have my life again because of you, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you when I told you I was going to leave... Are you okay over there? I worry about you, baby, every time I see something on the news or read an article about the situation there. Please be careful! As you can see from the picture I included with this letter ;), you ARE and will ALWAYS BE an important and special part of my life. We hope and pray for your safe return. I will let you go now, but please, my darling Jack, be safe and don't take any risks you don't have to; the three of us can't wait for you to come home, and hope to see you soon!

Love always,

--Veronica (aka, Ronnie; aka, sweetheart, aka, 'mommy' :) )"

Jack enjoyed the handwritten, smiley-face emoji she included with her letter to him. He looked down at the photo she'd sent him five months ago with the letter, and smiled involuntarily, as he did every time he saw the picture of Veronica in the hospital bed, looking utterly exhausted but smiling happily, as she held their beautiful, tiny fraternal twins in her arms, while Grace sat in a chair next to Veronica's bed with her and Jimmy's son, Ian, swaddled and in her arms.

Jack rubbed his thumb gently over the faces of his daughter, Cassandra, and his son, Achilles, he felt again the unconditional love he'd known when Veronica had first told him she was pregnant, before he and Jimmy left for their pre-deployment training, prior to departing for Afghanistan. Jack listened to their Commander finish speaking, and remained outwardly patient and collected as 1SG Scoggins took over the briefing, offering his 'caveat' to what the Commander had just told them. Both Jack and Jimmy looked forward to what was in fact their final day in Afghanistan as they would, after the briefing, turn in the keys to their room and bring their gear and personal effects to the flight line in preparation for their return to CONUS and begin making their final goodbye to the US Army; they'd both decided to take advantage of the option to, if they completed the full 14 months for which they'd been mobilized, see their enlistment contracts judged fulfilled and receive honorable discharges.

XLVIII.I

Thursday, 22 October 2015, 2347.

Veronica lay on her side, feeling not at all tired as she continued to try and stop thinking about anything and everything that she'd experienced in the last two weeks, the last two years, and all of her life that led her to this moment. While she'd first laid down to try and get to sleep two hours earlier, still full of the anger, hurt and indignation she'd felt since Jack and finally told her everything he'd done, she now felt a growing trepidation and remorse at her earlier words. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table and feeling Jack's absence in the bed, while still catching faint whiffs of his scent from his pillow, she felt she could no longer take the roiling sensation in her stomach, and got up from the bed. Walking slowly and quietly to the door, she carefully turned the handle and peaked out into the dark hallway. She waited a moment and listened, but didn't hear any sound, didn't see any sign of movement or note any indication that the tv was on. She walked quietly down the hallway and poked her head around the corner, seeing now in the light of the full moon that poured through open curtains framing the floor to ceiling windows that looked out onto the balcony, Jack laying on the sofa with his eyes closed and an old, green Army blanket over his body. She could see enough in the dim light to make out the slow rise and fall of his chest, and could ever so faintly hear his exhalations as he breathed out. She knew his breathing enough at this point to recognize that he was asleep, and in that moment of realization, her emotions shifted heavily within her and she felt her decisions solidifying into the course of action that she knew she must take. Putting her hand over her mouth to stifle the sob she almost let out, she walked quickly over to the sofa, knelt down next to the cushions, and put her arms around him, holding his chest close to her and her face next to his.

"Ronnie?" He asked groggily as her movements brought him out of his slumber. "Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Jack!" She whispered to him, in a choked voice, unable to say anything else as her tears streamed hot and cathartic down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, baby!" She forced out in a strangled voice as she pushed her face next to his. She felt his arms wrap around her, strong and solid, and she let him pull her to lay on top of him, feeling him lift his blanket up as she climbed atop him and then hold her tightly to him as her tears and sobs began to flow freely.

"Shh, don't be sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I hope to God I can earn your trust again." He told her, holding her tightly with his left arm while with his right arm, he slowly rubbed her back, her shoulders, her neck and her head. She felt so guilty as he held her, but quickly felt her guilt give way to calm and serenity as his strong arms made her feel safe, loved and protected once again. Veronica could not control her voice enough to say anything out loud, but she vowed silently to herself at that moment that she was his, and no matter what happened to either of them, for the rest of her life, she would be with him, at his side no matter what life had left for them. For the rest of that night, until she finally fell deeply into sleep, she reveled in his strong, loving embrace and the feel of his slow and steady breaths against her ear.

Friday, 23 October 2015, 0600.

Veronica slowly stirred to consciousness as she felt Jack shifting beneath her and slowly, carefully moving her toward the sofa's back cushions as he moved outward and off of the sofa. She opened her eyes and saw him now kneeling on the floor and bending forward as she had the night before. Before she could ask him where he was going, she felt his arms slide underneath her and begin to lift her.

"Let's go to our bedroom; this couch sucks to sleep on..." he said, and she remembered as she felt him gently lift her up that she'd been sleeping on top of him, on the sofa, for most of the night. She closed her eyes and enjoyed how safe and secure she felt, literally in his arms, as he carried her back to their bedroom. As was his routine, he first lay her down gently on the far side of the bed, then pulled back the comforter and sheets on the near side of the bed before then lifting her up again and laying her back down on the near side. He covered her, tucking the top sheet and comforter just under her chin, but then he left the room and came back with another blanket, and spread it on the bed. Veronica felt the weight of the second blanket added on top of her, and knew that she would soon be warm. She closed her eyes and savored the touch of his lips on hers as he bent down and kissed her lingeringly, but then he stood up and peeled off his clothes.

"I'll be back in a minute. One of us smells pretty ripe and he's going to shower before he comes back to bed and stinks that up, too..." Jack told her, winking at her as he smiled.

"Don't take too long or I'll come looking for you..." Veronica purred, and smiled in return, but felt none of the energy necessary to follow-through on her threat. The way that Jack brought her back to bed, kissed her and joked with her made her feel another wave of redemptive love course through her, reaffirming to her that he did not hold any animus for her anger toward him the previous night. Veronica began to fall back to sleep, but then a thought occurred to her, and she forced herself quietly out of bed. She walked groggily to the dresser they now shared, reached into one of the top drawers, and pulled out a long, thin plastic object and a folded piece of paper she'd hid the day before under some of Jack's underwear. She walked out of their bedroom and returned in less than a minute, sliding back into bed and feeling she'd accomplished something vital, fell very quickly back asleep.

Jack stepped out of the bathroom, feeling the steam heretofore trapped inside float past him as the colder air of the bedroom pushed against his freshly washed body. He got into bed next to Veronica and tried not to wake her. He was glad he'd decided to shave and brush his teeth as well, finding that completing all of his hygiene rituals helped him feel cleansed of the ugly way he'd fallen asleep the night before, thinking that he'd lost Veronica. He lay with his legs stretched out under the sheet, but his torso laying back against the headboard as he took a moment to quietly review everything that he'd done and experienced in the last two weeks, everything that had brought him to this moment where he lay in bed next to a woman whom he'd known in such a short time but whom he loved and trusted, had won, lost and then won back. The realization of the roller coaster of events he'd navigated, manipulated and survived in that short time staggered him for a moment. But that feeling faded quickly when he felt her touch on his shoulder, first caressing him but soon gripping and pulling him toward her.

"Come here, handsome." Veronica said to him, her voice raspy from sleep. She smiled as he turned toward her and leaned in for a kiss. She put her arms around his neck and held his head tightly as she kissed him back, and moved closer to him, feeling his hands encircle her ribs and back and pull her against him. She gently kissed his lips and then lowered her head to rest against his smooth and freshly shaved neck as he lifted his chin to accommodate her head. She loved how warm, well-muscled and strong his body felt against her, particularly that morning, in the still-lingering afterglow of taking him back after what was, she realized, their first fight. But also, it was cold in the room as winter began to finally assert itself, sending the overnight temperature in the city to well below zero.

"Hey, I got something for you, sweetheart. And I have to show you now before I forget." Jack said, pulling away from her and walking out of the bedroom. Veronica pulled the blankets up to her chin and heard him from where he was shuffling around in his desk drawer in the living room for a few minutes. When he came back to their bedroom, he sat down on the bed next to her, still naked from his shower and not seeming at all troubled by the cold. He smiled at her, in his mischievous manner she loved so much, as he held out to her a yellow, legal sized envelope with her name written on it, last name first, in the thick, smeared strokes of a permanent marker; it reeked of uncaring bureaucratic handiwork.

Veronica turned her head and looked at him from the side as she accepted it. She was smiling at him but showing her cautious curiosity for what he'd brought her, a moment before opening it.

"Jack, how did you get this?" She asked him, rising to a sitting position and raising one hand to her mouth as her eyes widened in surprise after she'd opened the envelope and seen what lay inside. She looked up at him and he could see tears in her eyes.

"Fuck, why do I always make her cry?" He thought to himself, wondering how many times in the last 24 hours his actions had brought tears to her eyes.

Veronica held in her right hand a brand-new blue, tourist passport with her name and photo (from six years earlier).

"I know a lawyer who has a good relationship with the State Department, and who works fast." ("And whose service is quite expensive..." he thought...). "It was easy to do, since you still had a valid passport, all they had to do was reprint it, or whatever they do for replacements. Good thing you don't have any felonies! That would have taken longer."

"When did you get this?" She asked, wiping the tears from her eyes and looking back down at her passport, and what she felt was a talisman of legitimacy to her status as a citizen. It was indeed the first real piece of her life she could use to get back fully onto her feet and formally start her life with him.

"I got it Monday. I wanted to take you out today and surprise you with it; I planned to take you out to a nice place to celebrate being free again, but I don't want to wait. Not after I almost lost you last night, sweetheart..." He looked down at the floor, hating the emotion he felt begin to slowly coalesce into something significant enough in his mind to begin to exert itself upon his countenance. Jack had also intended to propose to Veronica at that dinner, after giving her the new passport, and offering some pretense of asking her if there were anywhere she'd like to go for a honeymoon... He focused on the tiles of the floor for several seconds as he beat his emotions back once more.

"There's something else in there, too." He told her quietly, looking up and into her eyes. 

Veronica looked back into the envelope and found several sheets of paper, folded in half, and with the distinct impression of a seal.

"Jack..." She said, awed at what he'd been able to put together. She unfolded all the sheets of paper and found an official copy of her naturalization papers, from 23 years ago. She saw the black and white photocopied image of her seven-year-old face, smiling for the camera and sporting the two thick, twisted braids she'd worn then.

"I thought you might need those, for a driver's license, or something like that, in case you need a second piece of identification, and if you don't have your birth certificate." He said, clearing his throat.

Veronica carefully folded her naturalization papers back the way she'd found them, then put her papers and the passport back into the envelope, setting it on the bedside table, and turned to look at him. "Come here, Jack." She said simply, sliding back and lifting the blankets and sheet up for him as he got back into bed with her. As soon as he was in bed with her, she pulled him into a very deep, long kiss, her hands roaming over his back and shoulders, holding him tightly to her. Without her having to say or indicate anything, Jack gently coaxed her onto her back, parted her legs and slowly penetrated her.


Veronica closed her eyes and sighed deeply as she felt his cock, hard and throbbing, carefully enter her, but quickly filling her as deep as she could take him. She looked up into his creamy jade colored green eyes and felt every inch of her skin feel electric and hot in response to her realizing how handsome she found him, and how badly she wanted him. He stayed deep inside her, holding himself there for a long time as he kissed her and held her just as tightly to him, before finally he pulled back and began to slowly make love to her. Veronica felt herself very quickly coming to orgasm, gasped loudly when it crashed upon her, and loved every moment of the way Jack continued to move within her, kiss her lips, nuzzle her ears and whisper his love for her. He made love to her through her first orgasm and she finished her second as he, too, reached his own climax. As he clenched his jaw and his eyes closed, Veronica felt a tremendous wave of pleasure thunder along her nerves from her second orgasm, but was also very happily aware of the sensation of Jack cumming inside of her. She pulled him as strongly to her as she could, kissing his face and nuzzling his ear, whispering to him how much she loved him, feeling the soothing afterglow of her orgasm mixing with the pleasure she felt as she recognized the feel of his seed filling her once more.