Autumn Greetings

"Della," he muttered and held my retreating hand to his chest. "Stay with me... please?"

I smiled and kissed the top of his head as I crawled under the covers beside him. I shivered at the coolness of the cloth where it touched my bare skin. To my surprise Cole turned on his side and pulled my back to his chest, fitting himself perfectly along the line of my body. His smell invaded my nostrils and I felt a sticky wetness growing between my legs.

Stop it, I told myself forcefully.

Cole nuzzled his nose between my neck and my shoulder and sighed.

"I love your smell," he breathed against my skin. "So soothing."

"I was just thinking the same thing about you," I chuckled.

I felt him smile as he pulled me harder against his chest. His nose was resting just behind my ear so I could feel his warm breath tickling along my neck.

"I love you, Della," he murmured into my ear.

"I love you, too, Cole."

We cuddled like that for ages before I finally fell asleep listening to his gentle breathing.

...

When I woke next I was stripped down to my knickers, still huddled up against my brother. I must have been really hot last night because I only ever strip in my sleep when I'm sweating profusely. It looked like Cole had done the same; I could feel his bare chest against my back and his hand was resting around my breast.

My face flushed when I felt something hard against my bum.

Still half asleep I pressed myself onto it, enjoying the sensation as I ground my already wet lips into his hard shaft. A gentle moan escaped his lips, sending an electric wave through my belly. It lasted only a second as I was now fully awake and aware of what I was doing.

I felt even more aroused than I had the night before but I ignored the yearning sensation growing between my legs and sat up to look for his shirt.

The sun was still a little ways from rising but the gray clouds still allowed enough light for me to see Cole's shirt draped over my corner of the bed. I snatched it and quickly threw it over my head as the chilled air shocked my skin. I dove back under the covers before any more goosebumps could form on my arms and scooted slightly away from Cole so we weren't touching.

A couple of minutes had passed as I tried to fall back asleep when Cole made a noise and reached his hand out to make sure I was still there. He grunted and scooted back into position along my body, grinding his morning wood against me. I gasped as I felt it throb and he kissed gently along the line of my neck before settling back into a deep sleep.

I was aching with desire but lay still, willing myself to feel guilty about the sensations he'd given me. Guilt never came though, and I soon fell asleep again while trying to wrangle my perverse thoughts.

...

I woke little more than an hour later to an empty bed. I could hear the shower going in the bathroom that joined our bedrooms and decided to head downstairs to make breakfast. With a last whiff of Cole's shirt, I pulled it back over my head and changed back into my onesie. Passing by the bathroom door I looked up to see it was slightly ajar - jut enough to catch a glimpse of the reflection in the mirror.

I stopped mid step, feeling my heart skip a beat when I saw Cole slumped on his side against the shower wall exactly where I had been the night before. His chest moved raggedly up and down, eyes closed, mouth open. I was grateful that was all I could see as I rushed out of the room.

I knew it was wrong, I knew I should have been disgusted by what I saw, but I couldn't deny the wetness dripping down my thigh. The image wouldn't leave my head as I mechanically went through the motions of making coffee and pulling out all our breakfast items from the fridge.

Frazzled, I decided to do something easy. Blueberry pancakes and bacon couldn't be too difficult, right?

Eventually my heart calmed and I was able to fully concentrate on what I was doing. I was almost finished when Cole came down.

"That smells amazing," he commented, grinning at me from ear to ear. "Anything I can do to help?

"Nope," I replied, trying to hide my blush. "Just grab a plate and dish up."

"Thank you," he said appreciatively and kissed me gently on the forehead.

I felt another twinge in my belly but this time it was simply a feeling of happiness. I liked being like this - I was enjoying my brother's company as a man I had feelings for, as wrong as it was. He had such an easy manner and gentle way about him it was hard not to. I wanted to let this blissful feeling take over even if it would be short-lived.

I dished up my plate and sat down in the cramped breakfast corner beside Cole. His close proximity gave me a thrill and I wanted to revel in it while I could.

"What should we do today?" he asked lightheartedly.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Do you have plans for later?"

He shook his head and swallowed the bite he'd been chewing. "I have an open schedule the next few days. It's just gonna be you and me, kid."

He grinned at me playfully and the butterflies acted up again.

"Why don't we go to the pumpkin patch?" he suggested after a moment's deliberation. "We haven't carved pumpkins together in years."

I smiled up at him and nodded excitedly.

"You're spoiling me since you came back."

"That's what I'm here fore," he chuckled and took a sip of his coffee while I gulped down the rest of my breakfast.

...

I couldn't stop smiling to myself as I got ready. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this excited to go out with anybody.

Our local pumpkin patch was complete with a hay ride, corn maze and hot apple cider for sale. Nearby was a lovely farm-to-table cafe where we traditionally got lunch with our family every year.

I checked my hair and makeup one last time, making sure the intricate plaits I'd pinned around my head wouldn't easily come out if the wind were to pick up. With the flowy dress and cardigan I'd picked out, it gave the look an overall soft and delicate effect in contrast with my hiking boots. My cheeks reddened as I thought I looked like I was ready to go out on a date.

Don't be silly, I told myself as I headed downstairs.

Cole looked me up and down as I stepped into the kitchen. I hoped he didn't see my face flush when he smiled at me.

"I almost forgot how cute you are," he half-teased me. "You look really nice, Della."

"Thanks," I said nervously. "Well, you're giving up your free time to hang out with your sad, needy sister so I thought I could at least make an effort."

He pursed his lips, obviously unhappy with my comment, but tucked me under his arm and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't put yourself down," he said. "Even if it's meant as a joke."

I pressed my lips together, unsure of what to say.

In true fashion Cole took a couple steps ahead of me and opened my car door. My heart leaped with joy when he smiled at me.

"Your carriage, milady," he bowed humbly.

"Thank you, kind sir," I played along, feeling much too eager to take his hand as he helped me into the car.

This is what I want, I thought contentedly as we started the short drive. Although I felt guilty for constantly drawing comparisons between Cole and Will, I was happy to have taken something good out of such a bad relationship. If nothing else I at least knew what I wanted in a partner, which seemed like a pretty big step forward.

We headed down the road listening to our favorite fall playlist. We sat quietly, enjoying each other's company and the brilliantly colored leaves burning auburn in the soft light.

...

We arrived at the pumpkin patch around ten and spent a good hour looking for the perfect carving pumpkins. It was already pretty picked over but we found seven of various shapes and sizes including one that probably weighted as much as me.

After paid and loaded our hoard into the trunk of Cole's car, we headed back up to the barn for cider and hay ride tickets. I waited in line while Cole excused himself to use the restroom.

"She's cute," I heard a voice muttering behind me.

"It doesn't look like she's with anybody," said another.

I felt my ears begin to burn and my thoughts went fuzzy with nerves. Of course I knew the men approaching behind me could have been talking about someone else but the sickening sense in my gut said otherwise. I stood still, only moving to step forward with the line, and kept my gaze ahead of me.

"Excuse me?" came the first voice closer behind me. "Miss, I was wondering if you have a boyfriend?"

"Nice legs," the second commented as if I couldn't hear. "I bet she's got a nice ass, too."

The first one smothered a laugh. I could tell by their slurred speech they must have been drinking and decided to ignore them.

"Hey, blondie, I'm talking to you," the first one repeated a little louder.

I was about to turn around and tell them to screw off when I saw Cole approaching in my peripheral vision.

"Still waiting?" he said casually and slipped his arm around my shoulders.

I nodded once and felt my tense muscles begin to relax. The two men muttered something indignantly but I could hear their boots scuffing the ground as they retreaded. Cole held on tightly to me as we moved through the line, only removing his arm when he reached the front of the line.

"Two tickets for the hay ride and two hot ciders, please," he said with a wide smile at the young girl behind the till. She flushed tomato red and smiled back, showing off her silver braces.

"Enjoy!" she replied enthusiastically as her mother handed us our paper cups.

I giggled, nudging Cole with my elbow when I teased him. "You sure have an affect on the ladies."

"I was just being polite," he feigned obliviousness.

Laughing, I shook my head at him.

"How have things been in that department, anyway?" I asked. "We've only talked about my love life so far. It's your turn."

He made a face like it was either bad news or no news at all.

"It's been slow," he admitted. "I don't know, I guess I just haven't made that good of a connection with anyone yet.

"There was a girl I was kind of seeing in Amsterdam but I didn't have the time, I was so focused on work. She was really nice, though. Her name was Emma. I met her at this coffee shop Marvin and I would go to a lot when we were writing."

"Did you ask her out?" I pryed.

"Kind of," he shrugged. "I hadn't really noticed her to be honest. She gave me her number one morning we went in for breakfast and Marvin dared me to call her. She's not really my type - not that I didn't like her as a person, she's just... really extroverted. I wouldn't put her into the 'party girl' category but she did seem to really enjoy drinking and socializing. When we did go out it was rarely just the two of us."

"Was she cute?" I wondered.

"Yeah, she was. She had a bold style. You know, bold makeup, piercings, dark clothes, that kind of style. She dyed her hair a lot, I guess. I remember it was silver and then blue while we were going out. And she had the most amazing blue eyes," he added enthusiastically. "I remember being shocked at how blue they were when I really looked at her the first time."

We were interrupted by the arriving horse and cart as everyone tried to shuffle out of the way. The driver, complete with a full red beard and 1920's getup, stepped down to help everyone off. We waited our turn to get on and sat next to each other towards the front of the cart.

"To be honest I'm surprised you didn't go out more," I said when we were all settled in. "Most people would have jumped on the opportunity for a foreign romance."

He made a face and raised his eyebrows at me. "You make it sound like it's the thing to do over there."

"Maybe I've seen too many movies lately," I admitted shamelessly.

He laughed and put his arm around my waist to give me a side-hug.

"Don't worry, Della. You're the only girl in my life at the moment," he reassured me.

I took guilty pleasure in those words as I nestled into his side. It was quite chilly and the warmth his embrace provided was welcome.

We sat in silence for some time, just watching the fields disappear behind the trees as we sipped our cider.

It was so intense - the feeling of wholeness and contentment in that moment - that I wanted to burn that memory into my mind so I could look back on it whenever things got rough. I'd always had Cole by my side my entire life and his absence this last year and shown me that that wouldn't always be the case. This whole experience had proven how important he truly was to me.

After a while, when we'd made our loop and were headed back to the barn, my phone rang. It was Lindsey, one of my old high school friends.

"Hello?" I said uncertainly. We hadn't spoken since the summer after graduation except the occasional comment online or message just to check up. I hadn't really even used social media since coming home except to post my Inktober work to instagram so I wasn't sure why she'd be calling.

"Hey, Adelaide!" she exclaimed, making me flinch from the pain in my ear. "I just heard from Alex you're back in town."

"Yeah, I'm uh... staying with my parents for a bit until I figure out a new studio situation," I explained, hoping she wouldn't pry.

"That's great! I saw your stuff was doing really well online. I even bought one of your prints a couple months ago," she said proudly.

"Thank you," was all I could think to say. "Do you like it?"

"Of course! I have it hanging up in my livingroom," she told me. "Speaking of, I was calling because I was really hoping to get some friends together for a party. My roommates and I are doing another themed Halloween party and this year we're doing 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'! Please say you'll come! It'll be way more fun with you there!"

"You had me at 'Rocky Horror'," I laughed as she squealed in delight.

"Awesome! I'm so excited to see you, sweetie! I'll text you the address. We're doing cocktails and the movie at six and everyone else will show up after eight."

"Got it, I'll be there! Bye."

I put my phone back in my pocket and turned to see Cole watching me curiously.

"Oh, sorry," I said. "That was Lindsey Jennings. She invited me to a Halloween party."

"Oh...," he looked down at his hands, pretending to be playing with a loose string.

"Would you want to go together?" I asked. "I mean, we don't have to go, I don't mind."

He looked at me for a long moment, his green eyes flashing some message I didn't understand.

"If you want to go I'll come with you," he agreed. Then adding with a smile, "It'll be fun. You always loved going to Lindsey's parties."

I smiled back warmly and his expression lifted a bit.

As we hopped off the hay ride and made our way down the path to the street, I tried to think of something I could do to repay him. By the time we reached the cafe I hadn't come up with a single idea. I didn't even know what he wanted. He never complained about anything or asked for favors. Cole was the epitome of the strong, silent type and I was beginning to see the difficult side of that.

When we'd gotten our table and ordered, I decided to ask him outright.

"Cole," I began shyly.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me, curious. My stomach turned nervously as I looked at the soft light filtering in through the window, illuminating his features and tracing faint waves of gold in his otherwise dark curls.

I'd almost forgotten what I'd meant to say to him when my mind finally kicked back into gear.

"I just wanted to say thank you for coming to take care of me," I started again "and I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything just to make me happy-"

"Adelaide," he cut me off. "I want to be here with you, no matter what we're doing. I came here to spend quality time with you because I've been a really shitty brother this last year. I left you alone when you needed me and I can't apologize enough for that, but I'm here now. I just want to enjoy this alone time with you so don't apologize for any of it. I'm having fun, I promise."

I took a deep breath and hid my face in my hands.

"You really are perfect, aren't you?" I muttered to myself. "Fine, tomorrow I want to do whatever you want to do. You name it."

He smiled at me with his eyes and leaned his chin against his palm. While the waitress poured us more coffee, he turned to look out the window, seeming thoughtful."

"Let's go on a hike by the falls if it's not raining," he suggested. "We'll take a picnic and you could sketch up there."

"Sure," I nodded, "but you know how I zone out when I'm working. We might be up there all day," I joked.

"That's okay. I like watching you draw. You make the funniest faces when you're drawing the expressions," he teased.

"Very funny," I retorted, feigning irritation, though I wound up laughing with him when he tried to mimic me.

We continued the lighthearted banter, reminiscing about our childhoods until our food arrived. Then the conversation seemed to shift to more serious topics.

"So what's your plan?" he asked as he tucked in to his vegetables.

"My plan?" I repeated.

"I mean for the future."

I nodded and took a long drink of my coffee as I thought. I hadn't really come up with a coherent plan, though I knew the end goal.

"I want to find a good studio space," I replied. "That's probably it for now. I've been saving as much as I can but it'll probably be a while until I can afford to move."

"How much are you trying to save?"

"I need new furniture then at least three or four month's rent, maybe more," I sighed, not wanted to think of a number. "The industry can be really fickle so I need a good cushion to fall back on."

"I can understand that," he said, probably thinking of his own experience being between jobs.

He looked thoughtful for a long moment, staring down at his hands wrapped loosely around his coffee cup, and opened his mouth slightly as if to say something. He closed it, remaining silent but I could tell by his expression he had something to say. He seemed almost relieved when the waitress brought us our bills, ending the almost awkward silence.

"Should we head home?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded, though I couldn't help but feel he was avoiding something. I think he knew I could feel it, too. We'd never easily been able to hide things from one another - it was like a twin sense that something was amiss.

As much as I wanted to ask him what he'd been about to say, he was obviously uncomfortable. I ignored the urge. Besides, I knew if I was patient it would eventually come out.

The sunlight disappeared behind a thick blanket of dark clouds as we walked back to his car. I felt the unmistakable chill of raindrops on my cheeks and a new wave of excitement hit as I planned our afternoon around mugs of thick cocoa and the soft glow of fairy lights. It would be a cozy afternoon in with plenty of time to do absolutely nothing.

I planned the day's Inktober drawing during the drive home. Figuring it would probably take three hours to complete I asked Cole if we could build a tent to watch movies in and asked if he minded if I worked while we hung out.

"Of course not," he said, a little excited. "I told you I like watching you sketch."

He ruffled my hair playfully before jumping out of the car and bounding for the door in a vain attempt not to get wet. I followed close behind him, almost glad my hair would be too wet to stick out where he'd ruffled it.

"A hot bath sounds so nice right now," I commented as the damp soaked through my hair and clothes.

"It is pretty chilly in here," he agreed. "I'll get a fire going while you're up there."

Something must have caught his eye when he turned to look at me. He reached up and pulled something out of my hair. His hand hovered there for a long moment, eyes distant, and then I felt his fingertips so gently graze the skin of my cheek. The warmth of his skin against mine sent a thrill all over my body. His wonderfully flushed skin brought a look of innocence to his handsome features and as his full pink lips parted slightly I felt a horrible longing growing in forbidden places...