Baby Crazy Ch. 04

Andria turned her back to me with her hands on each shoulder of her green dress. She slowly pushed each strap of a shoulder. "Oops, these are always falling down". Turning slowly around and placing her arms under her breasts she continued, "I might as well take this off. But I'm such a screw up. I cannot even do this right".

Keeping one arm under her tits, she lowered her other hand to the bottom hem. She started to pull up..............

The sun shone against my eyelids and I awoke with a start. I was laying on a park bench and I was cold and stiff. I glanced at my surroundings and recognized I was in a small park close to my 'reno'. My thoughts came back to the events of last night. Cheating? Anger filled my head. Then I realized in my delirium I had a suicide attempt. Then the next thought was fear. Extreme fear!

I moved my sore legs to stand. There was a coffee shop around the corner and strong coffee helped clear some thoughts. What was I going to do? A church bell rang in the near distance. It was Sunday morning after all.

I checked my cell phone to see what time it was. It wasn't there. I checked all my pockets. Nothing. I must have lost my cell phone in the chaos that transpired last night. Probably during my ill-fated suicide attempt.

I walked towards the bells and entered the church (temple). I was trying to get a grip. I sat down in the corner of the last row. There weren't many people. I bowed my head and prayed.

I was startled awake when a hand touched my shoulder. It was the minister. "The service is over" he gently told me.

I glanced around and everyone else was gone. Realizing I had fallen asleep, I sheepishly muttered, "Sorry."

"That's okay. You're not the first person to fall asleep to my sermons" he quietly smirked.

"No, n-no" I stammered. "I had a really rough night"

"Do you want to talk about it?" he inquired in a soft, mild manner.

"I don't know" I muttered.

"Are you feeling, Okay?" he asked in his soft manner, but he stared intently into my eyes. (He would later tell me that I had 'wild' eyes, which brought forward his next questions).

"Do you have lowered feelings?" he asked in a firmer manner.

"Yes"

"Do you have suicidal thoughts?" he pressed.

How did he know? How did he know to ask? But I replied honestly, "Yes".

"Do you have a plan, time and means to carry out these thoughts?" he pressed onwards.

Out of my mouth came a plan--my plan. A means--my suicide was very specific and I detailed the event. A time--tonight. Tonight! I wasn't aware that I had these thoughts hidden away.

"Come with me" he guided me up and out of the building into his car. (When I talked to him later, he told me he used "safe-TALK"* to help me. *This is a suicide prevention technique).

He started to drive and I asked "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital" he said in his soft but firm way.

"Okay" I meekly replied but secretly happy that I might get help.

We arrived at the psychiatric hospital. He brought me to the admitting nurse and told me, "Tell her everything you told me." I nodded. Five minutes later I was back in the waiting room but I now had a security guard beside me. The minister asked the security guard what was happening. When he was told that they were waiting for a room to open. He turned to me and said, "You're in good hands now." and proceeded to leave.

"Wait" I reached out. He turned back again to me, and I added "Thank you".

He smiled and said "Just doing my job."

I could write 3 more chapters on suicide prevention and my stay at the psychiatric hospital. This isn't the correct forum to digress further. I just want everyone to know that there is help and hope.

Carrying on with my story in the Loving Wives' Sense.

On day 1 at the hospital, I had called my mom. I asked her to tell Andria that I had gone to Las Vegas to get some time and space.

Very few people knew of my hospital stay. I only spent 5 days at the hospital. I immediately responded to the medication. I was eventually diagnosed with a mental illness and would have to take these pills for the rest of my life. There were side effects with the biggest being it caused me to be sluggish. I had only about 80% of my usual energy--but I had my sanity. Now, I always say: 80% of 'something' is better than 100% of 'nothing'.

Three days later, I returned to work. Covid was running amuck and they were thrilled to have me back. I had asked for a transfer to another department and it was granted immediately. William did poke his head into my office the first day. He wanted to apologise and probably wanted me not to go to management about the events of 'that' night. I told him not to worry and proceeded to get back to work.

Just as he was leaving, he mentioned something about my wife being 'crazy'. I stopped for a moment, when it hit me. Crazy! This was the biggest thing my wife and I had in common.

I finished work at 6 pm. It was a long grueling day dealing with Covid. When I reached my truck, Andria was standing there. "Why didn't you tell me you were back?" She jumped at me and hugged me.

I didn't return the hug and she immediately began apologizing for 'that' night. I kept my words to a minimum and said, "I have had a long, long day, and I'm tired"

"Okay, we'll talk at home. It's been so long without you," she smiled.

"I'm not going home".

"What" and she started babbling other responses.

"I need more time and space." I gruffly added.

"Oh, no darling. We can talk and get through this. Please come home" she pleaded.

I just opened my door and got in. "Tell you what, we can meet Sunday and we can talk then. With Coruna Virus it's just so busy at work"

"Can I least call you before then? You aren't picking up my calls." she pleaded more.

"New phone, new number, new life" I resolutely added and drove off, leaving her standing there.

The end of the work week actually seemed to come quickly. There were rumors that we might have to work from home at some point. It was so busy that I hadn't thought of Andria much. She did call the office a few times to see if we were still on for Sunday. I told her yes. She assumed we were meeting at our house but I wanted a neutral location and suggested the coffee shop close to the park. She agreed.

I arrived at the coffee shop and Andria was already there. She ran over to my truck. It was a pleasant late March day--jacket weather, but she only had on one of my favorite dresses and she wasn't wearing a bra. She bounced gloriously towards me and I made a point of keeping eye contact, but I couldn't mistake the sway and jiggle of her breasts out of my peripheral vision.

She jumped into my arms and said "I wasn't sure you were going to make it," then rose up to give me a kiss. One advantage of being so tall is the ability to avoid being kissed.

She picked up on my aloofness and proceeded to apologize and profess her love for me.

I guided her to a table and got us coffees (mine black, hers 3 cream/3 sugar). I sat down and I took a sip. She seemed to be waiting for me to say something, and I began with "I don't think this is going to work".

She teared and again started to apologise and explain.

"You had sex with my boss! There's not much to explain" I emphasized. I was glad I had taken a pill before our meeting. I wanted to keep myself in check.

She started to really explain and it was long winded, but there was nugget of sense in what she said. "I am 34 and I am not as good looking as I use to be."

"You are gorgeous, Andria" I countered.

"Let me continue and allow me to get most of this out." She paused for a second then continued, "I have crow's feet, a few grey hairs, my boobs are starting to sag," to which I kept silent and maintained strict eye contact. She carried on, "I perhaps can't have a baby, I'm more tired in general and, I'm not as good looking as the girls in porn that you watch."

"Okay, stop." I had to interject. "First, you don't watch enough porn. Most of the girls are ugly skanks. And yes, you are gorgeous. More beautiful than I first met you. Even your boobs, while perhaps shifting a bit, are even more spectacular. Especially when you don't wear a bra." I smirked.

"I didn't think you noticed" she blushed as she suddenly became aware of a few lecherous stares from other customers.

I spat out, "But that doesn't explain your infidelity with first Lounge Lizard and more hurtfully my boss. You were definitely drunk at the night club, but you weren't as drunk as you let on with my boss."

"Yes, I had drank way too much at the night club but we had the best mind-blowing sex afterwards. And with your boss, I knew of your cuckholding desires and thought that was going to be another great night of sex."

"What? Cuckholding?" I questioned. "What makes you think I wanted you to cuckhold me?"

"That's the porn we most often watch together." she stated.

I was stunned but I did a little memory recap. We didn't watch that much porn together. Then I blurted, "I'm not into that kind of sex. I suppose I probably watch 20 or more different genres of porn, but I select what I watch by searching for the prettiest girls, not the type of porn."

"Oh, I just wanted another night of you displaying that kind of passion" she added.

"That's another thing. You keep calling that the best night of sex. That was one of my worst nights that I ever experienced," I professed.

"What? You seemed so into it," she expressed.

"I turned into a person that I didn't want to be. Sort of a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde personality."

"Oh, I am so sorry. I screwed all this up. My anxiety to get pregnant probably put me into some delusional persona." she said as she looked down, but quickly looked back up at me, "but I love you so much. I don't need to have a baby."

I think we both hit on something that surprised us both. For me it was a light bulb moment that, thanks to my meds, had me coming out of my psychosis. Where was Andria on her journey?

I was exhausted from our conversation and told Andria I think it was enough for today.

"Can you give me your new telephone number."

I said okay, and gave her my new number.

"Please don't ghost me again." she implored.

"I didn't ghost you," I countered.

"You never returned my calls, emails or texts. I even checked most of the hotels in Vegas, trying to get a hold of you," she said.

"I wasn't in Vegas," I gently replied.

"What! You're not with someone else, are you? Is that why you are being so evasive?" she said in anguish.

"No, I'm not with anyone" and I finally felt sorry for her and told her the truth, "I've been in the hospital."

"But I checked all the area hospitals before your mom told me you were in Vegas." she implored.

"I was at the Psych hospital. I had a nervous breakdown." I said, telling her most of the truth. Not many people knew I had attempted suicide. Even my parents didn't know. I had also told them the 'nervous breakdown' cover. Stigma.

"Please come home. I will take off work and take care of you. Please I love you so much" she cried.

"I need to be on my own. Thank you for the offer but I really do need time and space. You can call me, but not too often. It is so weird and busy at work. We can meet in person next Sunday."

"Are you staying at a hotel or your parents?" she asked with concern.

"No, I am staying at our 'reno'. Just around the corner," I told her.

"But that's nowhere near being completed. You can't stay in those conditions." she said.

"It's actually not too bad. The one bedroom is nearly finished. I'm fine there." I tried to comfort her.

"What about meals?" she kept on.

"Well, it's mostly take-out. I have lunch at our company cafeteria, but with Covid that will probably close soon. I am fine. The best thing I need is rest and relaxation away from the job," I offered.

"I will bring you supper when I go into work" she offered.

"Okay. 1 supper. Maybe on Wednesday. But don't come in. I will see you on Sunday. I really need my rest. See you Sunday." I said in a compromise.

"I love you, darling." she said as she leaned in to give me a kiss. I gave her a light kiss then departed.

I got home and went straight to bed for a nap. That was an interesting conversation but also extremely exhausting.

Another week flew by. Andria made me a great dinner on Wednesday. She wanted to come in but I declined. She called me almost every night. I had to tell her that I now went to bed early and she had to cut the length of our calls. I needed 2 extra hours of sleep every night for my mental health. I also wasn't allowed to change my calorie intake very much. My psychiatrist said "food and sleep are good drugs as well". I wasn't allowed too many drinks but that wasn't an issue anyways, however I couldn't help but think of Andria's increased alcohol intake and be concerned.

Next Sunday Andria and I met again at the same coffee shop and today we went for a casual walk in the park. She was underdressed, braless of course (not that I minded) but cold. I took my jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. We actually ended up on the same bench where I had come to on that Sunday morning. We actually had a good conversation. She would steer towards getting back together while I stressed the need for time to heal.

"Speaking of time," I paused then added "shouldn't your period have started last week?"

"I didn't know you kept track. But yes. It came Thursday. No baby" she dejectedly said.

"That's good," I said.

"Why? I am still hoping for a baby," she followed with.

"Well, it's good you are not having William's baby," I continued.

"He didn't finish. We tried to catch up to you when you left." she responded.

"There was still a chance from what I saw." I felt my anger starting to rise and then quickly took a pill.

"I thought I explained why we were doing it. I know it sounds crazy but I would give anything to change what happened," she interjected. "I am so sorry, darling. Please forgive me." she pleaded.

"I am not anywhere near forgiveness, but I can see a glimmer of understanding of how it happened," I offered.

"That's a start. Can we please talk about how we can move forward? Can we try counselling?" she begged.

"I'm actually seeing a psychologist now. I can talk to her about couples counselling." I told her.

"Thank you darling. Thank you for giving me hope."

We talked for 2 hours after this. Talking about Covid, how the 'reno' was going and our jobs mostly. I was surprised that her sales were picking up after an initial drop off after the Covid hit. She kept professing her love for me, I didn't tell her the "L" word but admitted I missed her.

We went to counselling with mixed results. I was hoping she would go to her potential "mental" issues that she hinted at on our first Sunday meeting. I was also concerned with her extra drinking. We still met weekly and on one Sunday I suggested we go on a date to see if we still had a spark. I thought she was going to have a heart attack; she was so excited.

We decided to go out the next Saturday evening. I took her to dinner at a nice restaurant at our local Hilton hotel. It was a nice dinner and Andria looked stunning. She told me she took the day off and went to the salon and spa. This was a big deal. One of her best attributes that I really appreciated was her work ethic. To take a Saturday off, which was her big sales day, showed how much effort she was putting forward.

We ate our meal but Andria was more quiet than normal. She was probably as nervous as I was. We didn't say anything to spoil our moods and when we finished our desert, Andria asked if I wanted to come home for 'coffee'.

I said, "sorry, I don't think so."

She slumped noticeably and looked down. Then the check came and I told the waiter to bill it to my room.

She gasped and I asked "Would you like to come up to my room for 'coffee?'

She jumped out of her chair, grabbed my hand and pulled me up. She gave me a huge, wet kiss. She pulled me to the elevator.

We entered my room, closed the door and Andria attacked me with another wild kiss. We broke the kiss and Andria said, "I want this so badly. I want you so badly." She pushed me on the bed and proceeded to take my pants and briefs off. She attacked my cock and energetically gave me a blow job.

I put my hands on her head and pulled her head off my cock. She looked at me question like and I asked, "Can we slow down a bit?"

"Oh, you don't normally pop that fast" she thought she clued in.

"It's not that. I just want to go a little slower."

She thought for a second, then stood up. "I know" she stood about 8 feet away from me, she turned her back to me and crossed her hands and placed them on her shoulders. "I am having so much trouble with the straps on this green dress." Then she so ever so slightly, pushed each strap off her shoulders. "See". "I am having so much trouble keeping it on." She turned frontwards but kept her arms under her breasts, keeping her dress in place."

"Now anyone can let this dress fall to the floor, but I do everything wrong." (Was she inferring something of her behavior?) She bent slowly towards me and reached one hand to the dress's bottom and pulled up. "Oh my, It won't go over my big bubble butt. I am going to need a volunteer to help me with this zipper."

She looked back and forth over the room. As I was still laying on the bed, I raised my hand. "Yes, you. You will more than do," she said as she stared at my cock. She turned slightly as I was just out of reach. I had to lean to reach the zipper. She then swerved her bum towards me as I reached and my hand came in contact with her ass.

She pulled back again out of reach. She turned and said, "You cheeky bugger," she murmured in a very fake British accent. "Any other volunteers?" She scanned the room. I raised my hand higher.

"Okay, you get your last chance. I will be watching you very, very closely." she said as she leaned her hip in closer. This time I was able to pull the zipper half way down but before I could finish, Andria pretended to lose her balance and fell across my thigh. Our lips were about 6 inches apart.

In a sultry voice said, "You are so bad, pulling me on your lap like that". I put my hands out to my side and started to say, "S" was all I got out and she placed her finger on my lips, "Hush" then dragged that hand slowly down my chest rubbing my left nipple over my shirt. Her finger carried lower, stalling at my belly button. Then ever so slowly towards my cock. She was just about to touch it. When she quickly placed it on my thigh and lifted herself back off me and the bed.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, get this tight dress off my big bubble butt. The zipper is only about half down so I am going to have to shimmy as best I can with one hand. I have to keep my dress on over my ta-tas." She ever so seductively shimmied and shook her hips and the dress inched upwards. It made it part way past her hips and seemed to stick. The front of her lace panties came in view.

I was staring. She had my rapt attention through her strip tease. I reflected on how much fun she could be. "What are you looking at?" she playfully asked.

"Nothing" I quietly responded.

"Speak up. You didn't seem that shy earlier" she teased.

"Nothing" I said louder.

"Are you calling this, Nothing" she pointed to her pussy. "This is prime, Grade A pussy" she emphasized. She bent slightly to look herself. "Oh my, there seems to be some leakage going on. Do you think these panties are ruined?"

After rubbing two fingers along her vagina, she placed her fingers closer to her nose and stated "Oh, yes the panties are definitely ruined. They will have to come off but I don't have any more hands. I am going to need another volunteer."

She looked over the imaginary show room. She saw my hand up but seemed to ignore me. "Is there a volunteer?" she asked again purposely ignoring me then coming back to my direction. "I need a volunteer who is a good boy. Are you going to be good this time?"