Baby Girl Ch. 02

"And amanis that something?" There was absolutely no reason for her to be upset, not the least bit heated at where this conversation was possibly headed and she knew it was unjustified. But she couldn't stop the prickly beginnings of anger from rising up her spine. At any other time, Mary Beth's usual bantering would have rolled quickly off her back.

"Well...yes. You need a distraction. I think," she stated with the shrug of a shoulder, "I think you're closing yourself off on purpose. I think going out with someone new just for kicks and giggles will do you some good."

"I've known Jamal for all of two minutes. Don't you think it's a bit creepy for him to be calling so much so soon? It's like...it's...stalkerish!" Her eyes widened the moment the word was spoken for emphasis, her voice still just above a whisper while she talked. "And what I'd like to know is how he got my number in the first place?" She finished with an accusatory tone.

Mary Beth simply waved her hand, dismissing the last statement altogether as if the 'how' and 'why' mattered little. "All I'm saying is that you need to have a little fun. With the way you're working, you're going to be burnt out by the time you turn 30 – a lonely, grouchy old maid and all before the age of 30."

Her mouth hung slightly agape at the snug expression on older woman's face. She'd just been insulted! And Mary Beth had struck a nerve. Kerri wasn't grouchy and was far from whatever it was that Mary Beth considered an 'old maid' to be. Lonely...well, she had friends, best friends that had been with her through highs and lows for as long as she could remember and her family was never more than a phone call away.

Kerri's lips formed a tight line across the smooth expanse of honey brown skin, her eyebrows furrowing as several thoughts about her life ran through her head. Lonely. "I'm notlonely, Mary Beth." The whispering had ceased, although now her steady, even voice was tempered with frustration. "And contrary to what you seem to believe, I'm quite satisfied with the way my life is right now." It was a lie that sounded like the truth in anger.

"I know you're probably still hurting," Mary Beth offered, docile tones seeping into her manner of speech. Whatever teasing that may have been implied earlier was now completely gone from her countenance. Her face appeared serious, her pale green eyes somewhat sad.

Kerri hated it, absolutely hated being the recipient of pity, but she knew what was coming next. Her head shook slightly back and forth, her words coming out as they had before, in a soft whisper. She wasn't ready to talk about this yet. "Not now, Mary Beth."

The older woman sighed, but relented. And Kerri tried once again to focus on her work.

* * *

It was her own fault, she surmised, for even broaching the topic with her two partners in crime. Her so-called friends, she thought warily. When trying to reflect on why she brought it up in the first place, she found no reason, other than sheer curiosity in what their opinions might be. And she may have rationalized that if they considered it to be a good idea, something that she – according to everyone else around her – obviously needed, maybe she'd do it.

Go out it with him. Call him up. They were making a big deal out of nothing and she suddenly began to feel silly about the entire thing. No. She just wanted to forget about it and work and sulk as she had been. But they both jumped onto the subject with talon like claws and refused to let it drop. She'd slap herself later.

Kerri rested an arm on the plush maroon loveseat in Arissa's living room, her legs tucked underneath her while seated on the floor, her eyes moving between one friend to the next and back to finally settle upon Vonda.

Seconds from rolling her eyes, Vonda jerked her crossed feet off the coffee table, however briefly, to allow Arissa access to swipe away whatever invisible dust she saw with a Swiffer cloth. With an exaggerated sigh, she placed them back, taking a sip of her iced tea, her lips twisting to the side slightly before she spoke. "Why do you ask us to come over here if you insist on cleaning around us like we're bric-a-brac on a shelf?"

Arissa simply cocked one brow, muttered something about a 'pig sty' and never stopped dusting, deciding that her best defense was simply to ignore. "So, how did he get your number any way?"

"Mary Beth," Kerri answered offhandedly. "I made the mistake of telling her about him. I'm sure she took it upon herself to call."

"I don't know why you have that white woman all up in your business."

"You'reall up in my business, Vonda." Best girlfriends since elementary school, Mrs. Semester's second grade class to be exact, Kerri pretty much ignored most of Vonda's comments. Not that she didn't trust her friend, but Vonda was a radical, a conspiracist, forever believing that 'the man' was out to get her and any other non-suspecting minority citizen. And the fact that her mother was indeed half European made her actions all the more bemusing. "And I happen to like that white woman," Kerri continued. To which Vonda only grunted.

"So, let's see," Arissa went on completely unfazed, immune to the bickering between the other two ladies. They had always been more like sisters, really. "He's single, has a job, a car...a Mercedes if I'm not mistaken–"

There was a light snort of amusement before Vonda spoke the words, "C-class," the statement laced with such disdain, suggesting that something as trivial as the model type not only reduced the value of a car, but that of its owner as well.

They both glanced in Vonda's direction, who drank from her glass quietly as if nothing had ever been said.

With a click of her tongue, Arissa resumed. "Whatisthe problem exactly? There's no harm in just meeting him for lunch or something. I mean, how long has it been since you've been out with a guy?"

"Apparently, not long enough."

"Leave the girl alone, Rissa. She obviously doesn't want to be bothered with him." Vonda got up from the sofa with a languid stretch and yawn. The sun was just beginning to set; the sky beyond the sliding glass door turning an ashen pink, its glow making everything it touched appear well worn and dull. For a few hours now, the three had been lounging, watching movies and gorging on confections from the corner bakery.

"Thank you," Kerri approved with a smile.

"And if she wants to be alone for the rest of her life," she teased, walking towards the kitchen to place her empty glass in the dishwasher, "that's her business."

"Isaid, Thank you."

Soft laughter could be heard coming from the nearby room.

"Well, you know what I think."

"Yes, Rissa, I know what you think."

"I think he's cute."

"He's short."

Arissa balked at the observation, but before she could object, Kerri held up a hand to continue. "You don't have to worry about that because you're only five-two. If I can look them in the eye..." She made a gesture of pointing two fingers towards her face then back at Arissa, "they're too short." Although Kerri wasn't exactly an Amazon herself at only five feet-six inches, to her, any man under six feet just didn't fit the bill.

"Stop being so picky. He was still taller than you, and you had on heels!"

And on and on it went until she finally left. Arissa could be absolutely relentless when trying to get her point across and she made sure Kerri was aware of how she felt about at least giving Jamal a chance. How often was it that she met a young, single, professional black man these days, anyway? Was she crazy?! But he wasn't the only topic of conversation that night, though the theme of 'all things male' was at the forefront of their thoughts, per usual.

It still surprised her however, that she found herself seated outside on the bistro's garden patio waiting for her date to arrive. Though she certainly wouldn't call it a date. It was simply lunch...during the workday, and she had to eat. A little place situated on Wisconsin Ave in downtown DC was the selected spot since he revealed that he worked two blocks from that location. A Thai restaurant. She didn't have the heart to tell him that just the mention of the word 'Thai' was beginning to make her stomach lurch.

Kerri graciously accepted given that it was walking distance from her office, and it was predicted to be a balmy spring day. Fresh air would do her good. Several times before leaving however, she'd been tempted to call him back and cancel. Mary Beth, blood hound that she was, seemed to anticipate this and kept her distracted the entire morning until the idea was abandoned and it was too late.

But she loathed first dates, loathed dating period for that matter. The whole getting to know you with the same boring questions about why she was still single or what it was that she did for a living, what she liked to do for fun, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, it all sat her teeth on edge. Maybe she was a grouch.

No, she thought, she wasn't a grouch. She just knew what she wanted. Conversation that flowed on its own accord as days went by without having to be forced by the prattle of a million questions, the cascade of emotions that resulted from just a fleeting glance, perception of mood, passion, sheer contentment. She wanted someone that she already knew, someone that already knew her. A longing sigh escaped her, "Simply impossible." The words drifted like a prayer from pouty lips.

A smile was plastered on her face when she finally saw him stepping out onto the patio. It felt forced, so she lessened it just a little when she began to feel the strain at the corners of her mouth. She could only imagine how she looked in the process, possibly like she was suffering from a mild stroke.

He recognized her immediately. His eyes lit up and seemed to sparkle as he grinned at her, the dimples on his face prominent against coffee colored skin. Dressed in business casual with dark tan slacks, a beige and blue striped dress shirt sans the tie, he sauntered over to her table. Holding out his right hand as he approached, he let his gaze roam over her briefly as if accessing or perhaps remembering their first, albeit brief, encounter. And though he tried to do this as modestly as possible, the slight didn't go unnoticed.

One brow rose in response to this as she stood from her seat. Somewhere deep down she squelched the desire to reach out and slap him. There was a short hesitation before she actually reciprocated the friendly gesture of a handshake, which he immediately discerned.

When his dark brown irises finally lifted of their own accord – this entire episode only happening in a manner of seconds – he burst out laughing at the sourness of her facial expressions.

"I'm so sorry," he offered, though through his chuckling, the sentiment hardly seemed sincere. "I really didn't mean to do that."

Kerri was taken aback, not really knowing what to think. Confusion, even a bit of annoyance, began creeping into her countenance. Her weight shifted to one foot, her body language expressive of the irritation she felt. Almost...almost a hand was about to settle on the upturned hip, but she kept it at her side. At that moment she was seriously considering leaving the fool there, right where he stood in the middle of the courtyard, laughing to himself. This was absolutely ridiculous.

As he shook her hand, he threw up his left, gesturing in mock surrender. "I promise," he declared, this too was said in jest. "I'm not a dog."

* * *

Despite her warranted reservations, at some point during that lunch she found herself warming up to Jamal. A few minutes passing before she actually said anything however, their initial encounter still heavy on her thoughts. She didn't know how to take him. At last deciding that she wasn't overly offended, even by him practically undressing her with his eyes, which in itself, she knew, was an exaggeration of what truly transpired.

Immediately, she found him to be a jokester, and she laughed in spite of herself. He was a character, in every sense of the word – funny, charming, witty. And to his credit, he didn't ask her any cliché questions. As a matter of fact, he really didn't ask her many questions at all. Their conversation just flowed like she was talking to an old friend...or laughing at one.

Towards the end of their little date, yes, she was finally admitting it was now a date, she even began to offer a few tidbits about her own life without having to be abetted.

And Arissa was right. He was taller than she, even in her heels. Although, barely.

For the most part she kept it to herself, her going out with Jamal, since she was still on the fence about the situation. The two had met for lunch on quite a few occasions for last couple weeks following their first,ahem...date. But Kerri, for the life of her, couldn't make up in her mind on whether she was attracted to him or not, at least not inthatway. And until she could decide one way or the other, she'd just be totally nonchalant about the entire thing.

Mary Beth knew of course, in the way that Mary Beth usually knew everything, even when she wasn't directly informed. Kerri pretty much ignored her as best she could, only offering curt answers to the many questions asked about the two until her assistant finally got the hint.

Honestly! Kerri sat behind her desk, slightly shaking her head, laughing quietly to herself. She loved the woman, really she did, almost like a mother; their friendship had grown that much over the years. But how nosy could one person be?

She couldn't worry about that now, though. Not now. Not Mary Beth with her caring, albeit misguided, ways. Not Jamal and...whatever the hell it was that they had going on. Not her girlfriends who despised meddling but managed to insinuate themselves all up in her life. Her main focus was this campaign. It would be less than a week that the contract winner would be announced. All the little nuisances that greeted her from day to day would no doubt have to take a back seat.

It was some kind of maddening calm that lulled her when she worked, when she was most focused. When rays of colors and undefined shapes and dimensions swirled together effortlessly, almost as an afterthought, to form within her mind recognizable, meaningful, thought provoking creations.

Her secondary education was one saturated with all aspects of art. The study of hues, textures, brush strokes, mediums, the history, periods – the most renowned and forgotten artisans alike. It was only natural that her abilities lead her into the studies of the craft, but somehow business classes got mixed in along the way. Her life's direction just seemed to be propelled of its own violation from then on. Numbers, calculations, endless research and agonizing reports seized most of her attention and before long, she found herself where she was now.

The right side of her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and she worried it a bit. Maybe she was on her way to becoming a lonely, old grouch or whatever the hell it was that Mary Beth had called her. She stifled an indignant snort at the notion, but managed to let her eyes roll with the flutter of long lashes and shake of her head. She loved her job. But this was something that had been said many times before, so she let the thought go without taking a side, pro or con.

Releasing her coral colored lip, she let a slow sigh escape her and for the first time, looked at the patrons that surrounded her as she stood in one of the metro's cars. She was trying her best to ignore how agonizingly crowded it was, and how completely rude and pushy some people were just to get home. They were packed in on all sides, like sardines...or rats. She shivered visibly at the mental picture and steeled herself, her feet planted firmly on the ground, her left hand tightening around one of the metal handles that lined the ceiling for standing passengers and braced herself as the train proceeded to stop at its next station.

No, her thoughts continued, it wasn't a question of her job. It was a matter of her happiness and truth be told, her job made her happy in some simple way, satisfied the desire to be needed, purposeful. But that wasn't enough. That couldn't make anyone whole, she knew that. No one had to tell her that.

It just wasn't...just wasn't...

Just wasn't the right time, maybe? So, her brow furrowed a little when she considered what was going on with her and Jamal, it worried her somewhat. Kerri certainly didn't want to lead anyone on, and she thought she had been quite clear about her intentions in the beginning. But he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she wished to remain on strictly friendly terms, at least for the immediate future.

She wasn't looking for love. A part of her was resigned to believe that she had already lost her love.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Her lips pursed together as she scolded herself for the pity party she was throwing – guest list of one. Whatever the cause of her foreboding, she was pretty sure it wasn't in her destiny to end up all alone, some wrinkled old woman sitting in a rocking chair on her front porch, a knitted shawl around her shoulders while her 13 lazy cats lay at her feet. She hated cats.

"The lady hasn't lost her way again today, has she?"

The words cut through her muddled thoughts forcibly, shattering her quiet reverie like a wild boar in a glass menagerie. Her eyes shut instinctively, the lids wrenched tightly together as she prayed to all that was good and holy thathewas not, was NOT standing behind her in that moment. And if those few words were to have spilled from anyone else's mouth, she, no doubt, would have laughed cynically at the deeper meaning laced between the lines.

Deep octave tones flowed over her, making her flush, warming her all the way down to her toes. Absentmindedly, she started to raise her right hand to wipe away the tickling prickles that materialized when his breath assaulted the delicate shell of her ear. But this, she soon remembered, was bogged down with the weight of her purse and shopping bag so she let the appendage drop.

He seemingly came from nowhere, and she couldn't remember him ever stepping on the train. Was she that wrapped up in her own mind, her own world that she hadn't noticed? And just how close was he? She could feel him directly behind her, the broadness of his chest bumping against her shoulders as the car swayed to and fro along the tracks, his torso against her back. It was indecent! But of course there was some amount of touching on all sides from various strangers on the train. There was hardly any standing room as it was.

After only a few seconds, her nose began to dissect that tantalizing scent she knew to be uniquely his as it enveloped her, inhaling deeply before she caught herself. Her eyes flew open at the impropriety of her actions. She didn't know this man! He could be some crazed lunatic for all she knew.

Slowly, slowly Kerri turned her head to look at him over her right shoulder, her mouth slightly agape. He, in all his glory, gazed back at her with sparkling gray eyes and that ever presuming smirk.

She couldn't breathe! It was totally irrational. The sudden reaction within her body undeniable. The feeling of hundreds of tiny spiders running down her spine seemed to overwhelm her, almost numbingly, the sensation so acute. She thought she heard the pounding of a thousand hooves across a barren terrain, the rushing of a torrential waterfall drowning out all of her hearing, only to frown at the silliness shortly after realizing this was simply the sound of the roaring wind produced from the train travelling back underground.

"Nn..." The ability to actually speak escaped her, leaving her with the rudimentary skills of making small grunts and incomprehensible noises. At this he simply laughed, effectively serving to anger her somewhat.