Back Home for the Holidays Ch. 02

I didn't want him to say anything so I kissed him. I pressed my tongue down into his mouth as I writhed my nearly-naked body against his. For me, sex and love were two completely different things, but at that moment sex seemed like the most appropriate expression of love I could give. I would have fucked him right there in the sand if I didn't think we'd get arrested for it.

I could tell that John was tense and nervous. Though I was kissing him he remained tense for quite a while before he finally relaxed, melted into the kiss, and began to kiss me back. He wrapped his arms around me; they were warm against my bare back.

"Excuse me? Miss?" a man asked me from nearby.

Reluctantly, I broke the kiss with John and looked up. This time it really was a cop, dressed in a dark blue uniform. I saw his female partner standing five yards behind him. Everyone around me was watching intently.

"You two can't be doing that on my beach," he said.

"Sorry Officer," I said as I sat up, still astride John, enjoying the thrill of rubbing my bikini-clad pussy against the bulge in John's jeans right in front of the cop. I was starting to feel like my old self again. "I thought my boyfriend was on a plane heading to Denver right now and was so happy to see him that I forgot where I was. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," he said with a nod before her turned and headed back toward his bicycle.

I stood up and let John get up. His body had made a pretty deep impression in the sand. We were both covered in fine particles all over. I brushed most of the sand off my body with my hands while John did the same with the sand in his shirt, pants, and hair. I quickly grabbed his luggage from where he had left it and pulled it up beside the towel.

I announced, "Claire, this is my boyfriend, John. John, this is Claire."

John gave her a quick "Hi." All of his attention was on me. I had never seen him so focused on me as to almost ignore a completely naked beautiful woman like that.

Claire said, "Pleased to meet you, John."

"Claire," I asked. "Can you please watch our stuff while John and I take a dip in the ocean to get clean?"

"Sure," she replied.

I don't know why I trusted her so much. Maybe because she hadn't stolen my purse as I slept but instead watched over me? Regardless, I stood up and pulled at the ties on either side of my bikini bottoms, boldly letting them fall away.

John was a little stunned by the turn of events and he said, "Robin, I-"

I cut him off and said, "John, take off your clothes and come with me. We need to get that sand off of you."

Before he could respond with any sort of objection I ran to the ocean, splashed in a few steps, and dove in. The water was cold, in the upper sixties, but I found it invigorating. I had gotten over the chill I had experienced that morning and also had a whole new outlook on life.

A dozen yards out, I turned around and stood on the bottom. I watched John undress on the beach. Claire stole lots of glances and when he took off his boxers I noticed that his cock was still semi-hard.

Claire said something to him and he replied. Then he made his way into the ocean and toward me. I was standing chest deep in the water, the small waves rolling in and rising to my neck and back down to my chest.

Nobody, other than Claire, took any notice of us. Farther south down the shore there were people in the water, but none in our vicinity. This was as alone as we were going to get.

When he had nearly reached me, John stopped a couple feet away and said, "The water is cold."

I nodded and smiled, "Invigorating, isn't it?"

He smiled. I loved to see him smile.

Reaching out under the water I took his hands in mine. I looked into his eyes and said, "John, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much it hurts."

He said, "I love you too, Babe." I loved it when he called me that. "I'm so sorry-"

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just needed some time to think, that's all," I explained.

"Then why did you text your mother-" he began.

I cut him off again saying, "I didn't. My phone was in my purse the whole time. I heard it ringing but I didn't know what to say so I just let it ring. I'm sorry."

John dipped down into the water and back up. He was squatting below the surface, using his buoyancy to put us face to face. He asked, "So this is Angela all over again?"

I knew what he meant. Was Kate trying to break us up? I sighed. "I don't think so. I think Kate is just confused. We'll see. I haven't spoken to her."

"So, you didn't want me to leave?"

"Oh god no! Of course not," I said.

"Kate was so sure; so persuasive," he mumbled. He looked so confused. "Then, why exactly did you run away? What did you need to think about? Did you reach any conclusions?"

I nodded and said, "Some." I took a deep breath. I knew this was my chance to make it right between us. I had to choose my words carefully. I said, "You were right. I was being a petulant immature teenager. You called me on it. I was embarrassed and confused, so I needed to get away. I couldn't face you. I couldn't explain because I didn't have any answers."

"I didn't mean to do anything behind your back," he said. "Kate was just so-"

"I know. She's very sexy. I told her that I would share you," I said. "I saw the way you looked at her. I knew you wanted her. I felt jealous."

John smiled.

I looked at him. I had never expected him to smile at that. I figured he would get angry with me. I asked, "What are you smiling at?"

He moved in and kissed me. Then he smiled again and said, "You love me."

I sighed and said, "Well, of course I do. That's what I've been telling you."

He shook his head and put his hands on my waist. "No, you don't get it. I've thought about this a lot since I met you and you brought up this whole, 'no jealousy' thing. See, what I've learned is that jealousy is about fear of loss of the relationship. If you don't have some measure of jealousy; then either you perceive no threat or the relationship is of no value to you."

"Oh, please don't think I don't value our relationship," I said, putting my hands on his chest.

"Well, either you have never felt there was a threat until today, or you value our relationship more than you did previously."

Thinking about that for a bit, I finally slowly nodded and said, "Maybe it's a little of both. I mean, even when I think of you being with our friends back home without me there, I get a little jealous. I've never felt that before."

"You don't want to lose me." Then he smiled again and said. "Anyway, it's nice to know that you really do love me."

I laughed. "Glad I could give you that reassurance."

He kissed me again. He was happy. I liked to see him that way. I wanted to never hurt him again. But to do that, I had to know some things. So, slowly, watching my tone, I asked, "So, you get jealous all the time?"

His eyes grew wide. His confidence vanished and he looked panicked. He said, "Not all the time. Not like that. I-"

"Calm down. It's okay. Just be honest with me," I said as sincerely as I could. "I'm curious. I'm not judging you. Remember, I just told you that I get jealous too."

Hesitantly, he said, "Well, since the beginning you said not to be jealous and that if I did it would mean that you would find someone else, so I was careful not to let it affect me."

"I want to know how you do that, and to discuss with you the 'finding someone else' part too. But before we get into that, are you telling me that, by your own definition, you feel threatened by other men?" I asked.

He took a deep breath. I could see the fear in his eyes that he was revealing more about his feelings than he had ever planned to tell me. He said, "Yeah. That's pretty primal. Guys are jealous of other guys stealing their women. Most men have some insecurity about themselves and their relationship. I mean, how can I not worry when you are so beautiful and can have any man you desire. I had to ask myself if I was really that special, you know?"

There it was. He had left himself vulnerable while leaving me an opening to stroke his ego. I didn't begrudge him fishing for a complement at a time like that. Again, I tried to choose my words carefully. I said, "You are very special to me. No matter whom I have sex with; there is one and only one man in my heart. That's you!"

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course! Don't you know that?" I asked.

"From the start you told me that you were with me as long as you chose to be and for me to enjoy it for what it is," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "That was a long time ago. Haven't we moved way past that?"

He hesitated at that. This was more of a revelation to him. Had I left too much unsaid? Finally, he replied, "I guess so. It's just, that has stayed in the back of my mind," he said. "Then, when I read that text it all came crashing back and it seemed like my time was up. Kate was pretty convincing, too. Not that Raul left me much choice either."

"I didn't send any text," I told him emphatically."Look, I love you. Maybe I didn't really know how deeply until today, but it's been there for a long time. I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

He smiled again and said, "Okay." Then he added, "So, that's what I'm smiling about."

I laughed. It felt good to laugh with him again. I asked, "So, how do you deal with the jealous feelings?"

"Well, I remind myself that our love is not based on sex and that if I really love you then I'd be happy that you are having fun. It's called compersion," he said as if he had thought about it a lot.

"Compersion?" I asked, having never heard the term.

"Yeah, that's where you feel joy when someone else feels joy. If someone else makes you come, it makes me happy," he told me.

"Oh, well I feel that all the time," I told him.

He smiled and said, "Of course, that only works as long as you're not feeling abandoned or neglected."

I nodded. That made sense to me. "As long as I know you aren't going to leave me and still want me."

"Right," he told me.

"So, if you feel that compersion, then how can you say you get jealous?" I asked.

He looked down and said, "Well, sometimes I do feel left out."

"Like with Raul?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, well, I can't feel happy that you fucked him when you weren't even going to tell me about it."

"I would have," I said. Then I thought about it for a moment and added, "Probably."

He said, "Actually, it hurt pretty bad and then you told me 'you snooze-'"

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things," I told him. "I know it was hurtful and I was just being stupid. You know I didn't really mean it, don't you?"

He nodded but I could see that it really bothered him. He was still hurting.

I looked him in the eyes and said softly, "I promise to never say anything like that again. Ever! Please forgive me."

He looked at me for a minute, judging my sincerity, and then nodded.

I kissed him, passionately and deeply. I pressed my body against his as we kissed. As I broke the kiss, a big wave caught us in our faces.

We both laughed. It felt good to laugh with him.

I knew we had to do something to prevent this from ever happening again. I said seriously, "John, I love you more than anything. If you want us to drop out of the lifestyle altogether and be completely exclusive, I can do that."

He just stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. He studied my face for several moments. Then his expression became deathly serious and he asked, "You would do that for me?"

I had thought about it earlier and so I didn't hesitate when I replied seriously, "In a heartbeat."

He just looked at me for a while and then said, "You really mean that. You really do love me." Then he smiled and shook his head. "I don't need you to do that for me, Babe. However, if that's what you want, I will make you the same offer."

I smiled as I reached down between us and found his cock. It was as hard as a rock. My smile grew bigger as I began to stroke it.

He laughed and said, "I'm being serious here."

"So am I," I told him, stroking him steadily with my fist. "I don't think we need to stop our lifestyle but we may need some sort of rule or something to prevent hurt feelings in the future."

He smiled again and said, "I didn't think you wanted to quit our lifestyle, the way you were hanging all over Claire when I got here."

"Hey, she's a nice girl. I was crying my eyes out over you," I said seriously. Then with a smile I added, "She is pretty hot though, isn't she?"

John smiled back at me as he reached down and softly pressed his hand between my thighs. "Yeah, she is, but not as hot as you are," he said as he rubbed his middle finger against my clit a few times before hooking it straight up into my cunt.

My head swam with pleasure but I managed to stay on my feet and keep my head above water. "Oh, John," I sighed.

John smiled at how wet I was inside. It wasn't the ocean water. He stroked his finger in and out of me several times before hooking his finger forward a little more and rubbing against my G-spot.

"That's it, Babe," I urged breathlessly. "Nobody can make me feel like you can." I stroked his cock vigorously.

I had never associated sex and love together. I had always resisted it. In that moment I realized that my love for John made me want to give him pleasure. I didn't really care about my own as much as I cared about his. Was that why people confused love and sex all the time? Nothing will make someone feel better than sex and if you love someone you want them to feel good. Could it really be that simple?

I opened my eyes and looked into his. I whispered a simple plea to him that I had never asked anyone ever before. I pleaded to him, "Please make love to me, John."

I could see in his eyes that the significance of that request was not lost on him. I never, ever, called it 'making love'. He moved toward me, closing the one-foot gap between. He kissed me. His kiss was gentle and he slowly pressed his tongue into my mouth and caressed my tongue with his own.

He leisurely pulled his finger from inside of me as he positioned the head of his cock below my pussy. Without breaking the kiss, he unhurriedly stood up fully under the water.

I moaned into John's mouth and wrapped my legs around his waist as I felt the sweet stretching of his cock ensconcing itself deep inside my cunt. The head of his prick struck bottom as my clit pressed into the hair at the base of his dick.

He stood there for a long time, just kissing me. I could feel his pulse through his hard cock lodged deeply up inside of me. I felt content just to kiss him and let him do whatever he wanted to me. Mentally, I gave myself to him. If he wanted me as his possession, I would gladly comply with his every whim. I loved him and trusted him completely.

With his right hand on my upper back, pressing my tits firmly against his solid chest, he reached down with his left hand. He reached around my thigh and under my ass. Then, breaking the sweet spell he had put me under he slipped his middle finger to the second knuckle up my ass. He knew what I liked and, regardless of any sweet words and loving feelings, I was a nasty girl at heart.

I loosened my legs around his waist just enough to be able to tip my hips back and forth, slithering an inch of his cock in and out of my clasping cunt. The sea water swirled between us, caressing my clit and my ass cheeks. The waves splashed under my chin and the ocean spray from a gust of wind covered my face as I kissed John, but I didn't care. I was in heaven with the man I loved.

John fucked his finger in and out of my ass in rhythm with my hips working his prick in and out of my cunt. He kissed me passionately but lovingly. The juxtaposition of his tender loving kisses and his finger up my ass would have made me laugh if it didn't feel so fucking good. He knew me better than anyone, even my mother apparently, and he knew what I needed when I needed it. It only made me love him more.

I whimpered in pleasure into John's mouth as my orgasm approached. I didn't feel the coolness of the water or the cold ocean spray in my face. All I could feel was John; his tongue in my mouth, his finger in my ass, and his big sweet cock deep up my cunt.

John rocked his hips in rhythm with mine, driving two or three inches of his dick in and out of me instead of just one. He shuffled his feet to keep his balance and our heads above water. Though he moaned into my mouth he showed no signs of coming.

My orgasm, on the other hand, swirled around inside of me before shattering into a million pieces. My body was on fire and I broke the kiss, shouting in orgasm. My legs lost their strength but my cunt gripped John's prick like a vice as I came.

John held me close to him, his hard throbbing cock lodged deep up inside of me. He fucked his finger in and out of my ass as I gasped in orgasm. I heard him coo into my ear, "I love you."

It took me a moment to gather my senses and come down from my orgasm, the cool waters helping. I looked at John and said, "I love you too."

He smiled at me as he began leisurely stroking into me again, his finger still in my ass.

I noticed activity over his shoulder and casually asked him, "You didn't come?"

"No, I'm good for a while," he replied.

I felt a tinge of jealousy at that, realizing that it was Kate's earlier blowjob that had made our ocean fuck John's second sexual encounter of the day. I didn't quite know what to do with that feeling at that moment, but I had more pressing matters at hand. I told him, "The lifeguard's coming. Rescue me."

The shock on John's face was priceless but he knew what I meant. Without missing a beat, and in one smooth motion, he pulled his cock from my cunt, his left hand from my ass, and scooped me up into his arms, his left arm under my legs.

I put my arms around his neck as he turned around and headed for the shore. I felt his hard cock press against my ass as he walked. The lifeguard was approaching and I pretended to cough.

John murmured to me, "So, what sort of rule did you have in mind?"

I almost burst out laughing at that which would have really ruined the illusion that he was rescuing me.

We were almost halfway out of the water when the lifeguard asked, "Are you two okay?" He was handsome, young, and fit, dressed in his orange trunks. He must have been about nineteen.

I coughed loudly and said, "I'm fine. I just swallowed a little water."

John stopped walking, his cock was still hard against my butt and a few more steps would have it emerge from the water for all to see.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he insisted.

I nodded and coughed before tapping John on the shoulder and saying to him, "Go ahead and let me down. I'm okay now."

John set me down in front of him, the water rising over my stomach. The wet sand squished between my toes. "Thanks for coming. It's good to know the lifeguards around here are looking out for us," I told the young man with a smile.

He smiled back and said, "Not a problem, miss. Be careful now."

I nodded and told John, "You go ahead and finish your swim. I'll be over here on the blanket." I wanted to give John time for his hard-on to abate.

I walked out of the ocean and onto the beach, leaving both men behind. I felt great from the orgasm and from avoiding any embarrassing or arresting situations, but I was still troubled.

The jealousy I felt over Kate was still there. John hadn't even come close to coming because it wasn't his first of the day. He had told me that he was happy when I was happy as long as he wasn't being abandoned. I had to figure out how to do the same and what rules we would need in our relationship to make that possible 24/7. I thought about that for a second as I walked to the towel. When I saw the naked and beautiful tanned goddess Claire there smiling at me, it came to me.