Back on My Feet Again

He stops the car and comes around to open her door. She follows along at his side as best she can, but he walks fast and takes long strides. She hops and skips to keep up before she tells him something.

Tom...Tom, wait! You walk too fast. I can't keep up," she says breathlessly as she slips her hand in his. Maybe if she holds onto him, he won't run off and leave her behind.

"Sorry, half-pint. I'll try to slow down some." He takes two or three more steps and then looks down at her hand holding his. He looks at her with some amusement in his eyes and says, "Huh! That feels like a pretty good fit to me."

"It does, doesn't it?" she murmurs shyly.

Her thoughts drift back to the day they met. It was less than three months, but three months was a lot longer than she had planned to be here in the first place. She promised to stay for six weeks. It was pushing twelve weeks now and still no end in sight.

She met him the first day she arrived, in the parking lot of the hospital where her grandmother was a patient. That's why she was here, 'home' again, where she grew up. Her grandmother was ill, possibly dying, and her mother called to request she come 'home' to help take care of her. If nothing else just to sit with her grandmother in the hospital.

The first morning she was here, her mother drove her to the hospital and there in the parking lot, they met. He wasn't exactly a complete stranger. She spoke to him once on the phone. She woke him up one night by calling his house looking for her niece. She felt bad about that, but he was nice about it.

He was a friend of the family for years before that. Someone her niece worked for on occasion and someone her mother could call on to help get her grandmother up off the floor when she fell. He had even 'fixed' a few things around her grandmother's house from time to time.

Eventually, her niece moved in with him. That's why he was in the hospital parking lot that first day. That's how they were first introduced. She watched him walk straight up to her mom and give her a hug and a kiss for moral support.

He wasn't dressed up. He was wearing jeans and a muscle shirt. His hair was still wet from his morning shower. Fuck, he smelled good. When he looked at her, she turned her eyes away. A few minutes later, when she ventured another glance, he looked away. Was he deliberately ignoring her? Not likely, most men didn't.

He promised to come by one day and trim some trees at her grandmother's house. She expected him to show up a day or two later, but he didn't; over two weeks passed and he didn't come. Maybe hewas deliberately avoiding her.

Her mother took her to see her sister. When she climbed out of the car, he was there, working on some water pipes in the yard. Her sister walked her over to him to say 'hello'.

He looked up at her and smiled. Almost immediately, he apologized for the way he looked. He was covered in mud and dirt up to his knees, and sweat. They began to talk about the work he was doing for her sister. She watched a bead of sweat trickle down his chest and disappear beneath his shirt. Fuck! Pay attention. What was he saying?

"You've been here for weeks and nobody has taken you anywhere?" he asked. She shook her head. "Well, I'll come get you one night and take you down to the casinos. Get you out of the house for a little while," he offered.

"Do you have to dress up? To go in the casino?" she asked.

He looked down at himself and said, "Oh, I'll get a shower and put on some decent clothes. I can clean up better than this."

She knew that already. She remembered how he smelled that first day at the hospital. "I meantme," she murmured. "I didn't bring any dress clothes with me. Can I wear jeans?"

"Sure! You can wear jeans. You can go naked if you want," he smiled. Interesting comment; interesting thought.

Three days passed. She is asleep and it's early in the morning. She's only half-dressed and sleeping on the floor of the den where she finally passed out from exhaustion. She and her mother went out to a club the night before. She hears a knock on the door and jumps up. She grabs a robe and throws it on before she opens the door.

She stares at him in shock for a moment. "I'm here to trim those trees like I promised your mom," he says. His hair is wet, dripping. She smells his scent again. She's speechless.

"Well, can I come in or not?"

"I'm sorry. I...I wasn't expecting you. I thought you were my friend from the club for a moment." She opens the door wide and lets him inside.

He laughs and winks at her. "So, you ladies were out painting the town last night! Do you have coffee? Make me some coffee." He pulls out a chair and sits down without being invited.

He's giving her orders and making himself at home. She blushes and begins making coffee.

"So, if you thought I was your friend from the club, I must look like him," he says.

"Yes. Well, no...maybe a little. I guess you do in a way. He said he's working around the corner and he might stop by to say hello today. I thought you might be him," she explains.

Her mom joins them for morning coffee and they talk for a while. Her mother makes a comment about her friend from the club and she's quick to say, "Come on, Mom! He's pretty gorgeous and you know it."

He looks at her with his eyes twinkling. "I thought you said I remind you of him."

"You do, sort of," she admits again.

"Then, if I look like him and he's gorgeous, you must think I'm gorgeous, too!" he teases her with a wink and a smirk of satisfied amusement. She blushes and offers to help him trim the trees. They spend the rest of the morning working together in the yard and talking. He flirts with her openly now and she doesn't deny that there is an attraction between them.

*****

They're working together every day now. He persuaded the Doctor to hire her as his personal assistant. He picks her up every morning and drops her off at home every evening. They talk a lot. They're becoming close friends, confidants. He calls her every night before he goes to bed and she looks forward to his calls, more than she should. They never run out of things to say to one another.

The phone rings and it's her niece.

"Could you do me a really big favor? Tom wants to go out tonight and I don't want to go. Would you go out with him instead?" her niece asks.

She gets an uneasy feeling in her stomach. "Why don't you go?"

"Well, I have some other plans if you sort of know what I mean... I just need you to keep him busy for a few hours for me," her niece explains.

"Give me a few minutes and let me think about it. I'll call you back," she says.

She's angry, upset and confused. She wants to go with him, but not under these conditions. Her niece is cheating on him and now she knows it. She presents the dilemma to her mother. And, then to her sister, her niece's mother. They all agree. She calls her niece back and accepts the invitation. He picks her up around seven that evening.

On the drive to the casino, she explains to him how she came to be with him at all that night. He listens and says nothing until she finishes her speech.

"I knew she was seeing other men. I've known for a long time. This just confirms what I already knew," he says calmly. "I'm glad you came with me tonight. Now, I don't feel so guilty for wanting to be with you every day."

She feels guilty; she has a lot of reasons to feel guilty. He senses her mood and he reaches over and takes her hand and squeezes it. They hold hands everywhere they go now, since the day she put her hand in his in the hardware store parking lot. He always holds her hand. It's her way of saying, "Don't leave me." It's his way of saying, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

He broaches the subject of her situation. "Have you decided when you are leaving?"

"I don't know. Mom's is trying to talk me into not going back at all. I don't know what I'm going to do, yet."

"Have you told him you're not sure you're coming back?" he asks.

"No, but I'm sure he knows I'm thinking about it. He's stopped talking about us getting married. If everything had gone like we planned, we'd be married now," she says. He can feel the burden of guilt in her voice.

"You were supposed to have married him in June, right?" he asks. She nods. "If you two hadn't shared a bed in over nine months, why would you marry him? You know he's still sleeping with her. You said so the other day when you talked to him. Why would you go back to that?" he asks.

"Why have you stayed if you knew for a long time she was cheating on you?" she counters. "Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. But, you should know two things. I've made up my mind to leave your niece. Soon. And, I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to go back." He drops the subject.

*****

It's been four months since they met. They work together all day, every day. At night, they make excuses to see one another, or to call one another. Her mother noticed the pattern long ago. She keeps her silence, but it's clear she doesn't approve.

Her daughter had gone back for the summer to visit her dad, now she's due back before the approaching weekend. They won't be going out as often once her daughter comes back.

They both feel a pressure closing in on them. They don't talk about it, but they feel it. They plan a special night out and when it comes time for him to take her home, he stops short in the parking lot of the casino, just before he opens her car door for her. He puts his arms around her, tilts her head back and kisses her for the first time.

He kisses her in a way that she hasn't been kissed in years. She feels it in a way she never has before. Her knees are weak, her heart is pounding, her palms are sweating and she's kissing him back; she's betraying the love of the man who's been waiting for five months for her return, and sadly, she doesn't think she cares. She doesn't feel the guilt; all she feels is the love and longing in that one kiss.

He stops kissing her and looks in her eyes. "You know I don't want you to go back. You know I want you to stay here. This probably isn't the best way to go about this, but if you'll have me, I want to make love to you. No matter what you decide to do, I want to make love to you."

She throws her arms around his neck and whispers, "Yes."

*****

The first time they have sex, it's not all they wanted it to be. He rents a nice hotel room and they plan for an entire day alone together. But, they're both nervous, uneasy, unsure of everything, including one another. They go through the motions, and it's not horrible, but it's not good. Twenty minutes later, they leave the hotel and decide not to discuss it any further.

The following day, she's working alone, in the doctor's house. He comes through the door smiling and cheerful. He walks up to her, puts his arms around her and gives her a big hug.

"Guess what?" he asks. Before she can answer, he tells her. "I've arranged to have this whole house all to ourselves until after dark tonight. If you can forget yesterday, what do you say we give it one more try? Here, now."

She doesn't know why, but she doesn't want to say 'no' to him. He looks so happy, so eager, so full of caring. She laughs and nods. He leads her to an empty room where there is nothing but new carpeting on the floor. He lays her down on the floor and undresses her.

They're both laughing and they each know why. It doesn't matter about the sex. They're both just happy to be together. Neither of them is nervous, or uneasy, nor unsure. They're both sure of one thing, one another.

His arms are around her, his lips and tongue on her skin; everywhere he touches her, she feels warm...and safe. She opens her legs and he lies between them. He's in no hurry; he waits until she says with a sigh, "Make love to me. Fuck me, Thomas."

He does as she commands. He penetrates her with care and tenderness. He fucks her with a solid cock, a growing need and the desire to completely possess her. She winces at the sensation of being prodded and filled. He makes a sound that tells her he feels it, too; her cunt stretching, expanding to make room for him.

Fuck! She adjusts her position to accommodate more of him. After nearly a year and a half without knowing any man, it's a strange feeling. She decides 'full' is better than 'empty' any day and she smiles as he thrusts deeper.

She already knows there isn't going to be any orgasm for her. Not today, not this time. He doesn't know her well enough yet to understand how to get her off. That will come with time. He knows the important things.

He knows her levels of anxiety and fear; he knows her triggers. He knows how frightened she gets when the curtain of darkness descends. He knows how she feels, and how she reacts when the panic takes over her mind. He knows what to say, and what not to say. Most of all, he knows what to do. He knows how to comfort her, and make her feel safe and almost normal again.

She hears his breath coming faster, and feels his need for release. He's holding back, waiting for her to signal him she's ready to cum. She squeezes his arm and strokes his hair. "Don't worry about me. Just let me feel you cum," she whispers.

His brow furrows and he opens his mouth to protest, "But..." he begins. He changes his mind and decides not to argue. It's several more minutes before her eyes open wide as she feels his cock twitch and grow inside her. She feels the spread of warmth as he fills her with liquid pleasure.

He sighs, his lips a breath away from her own. He looks into her eyes and says, "I think I love you." She's heard the words before, so many times, but this time she believes; with her heart and her soul, she believes.

"That's good," she says with a soft smile. "Because, I think I love you, too."

*****

For the next two weeks, there's nothing but change in their world. Her daughter returns and she makes the time to explain to her how she is considering not returning to her old home and her still waiting fiancé.

Her daughter looks at her with the wisdom of an oracle and the innocence of a child and says, "Momma, if you're trying to tell me that you and Tommy are in love, you didn't have to go to all this trouble."

"Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you. How did you know?" she asks.

Her daughter rolls her eyes with the same sarcastic mannerisms her mother uses. "Sometimes, I wonder about the people in this family. Any idiot can see from the way you two look at one another that you love each other. I may be a kid, but I'm not stupid." Her daughter pauses. "Does Grandma know?"

"Yeah, I think so, but we haven't talked about it. You know how she is," she replies with a shrug of indifference.

"Well, I don't want to be there when the rest of the family finds out," her daughter snorts.

"Why not?" She already knows the answer, but she wants to give her daughter a chance to voice her concerns.

Her daughter looks her in the eye. "Because, when they realize you and Tommy are doing the nasty, and he's still living withyour niece, things are going to get ugly around here. It's going to make for some pretty interesting Thanksgiving dinners, I think."

"I think you may be right about that. But, tell me what you think. How doyou feel about it?" she asks.

Her daughter looks warily at her. "Do you really want to know?" her daughter asks. She nods. "Well, I personallylike Tommy, a lot. He's a great guy. And, when we came here, you cried all the way here. I know you still love Kenny. You're probably never going to get over him, but he doesn't make you happy anymore. You heard him say that he loves that woman. He'snot going to give her up. You've begged him and he's still seeing her. If Tommy makes you happy now, then I'm all for it, Momma."

She feels the weight of the world lifted off her shoulders. She gives her daughter a kiss and a hug. "Thank you, baby-girl. But, do you think if Tom and I really got together, and were like...living together...that you could be happy with that situation?"

Her daughter frowns at her. "Yeah, I think so. Like I said, I like Tommy. But, Momma, it doesn't really matter what I think. Look at how Daddy treated you until you left him. Then Kenny. Tommy doesn't treat you like they do. He doesn't think you're crazy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. As long as you are happy, I'm happy."

The next day, the phone rings. She saw him earlier, but she drove the doctor's car home to her grandmother's house. It's been several hours since they talked. Since then, her fiancé called. They argued. Her mother and she argued after that. She's stressed out and doesn't know which way to turn.

She hears his voice and she can tell he's been drinking. "Where are you?" she asks.

"I'm at Doc's house. I have some news for you. I left your niece this afternoon. I've moved in here with Doc."

She's stunned. She didn't think he would really leave. It's the first domino in the chain going down. She begins to panic. This was the very reason she and her mother argued earlier. Her mother could see the handwriting on the wall. Her family would turn on her again. It would be worse this time, because now, they had a real reason.

They talk for a little while and talk turns into an argument. Heated words are exchanged and she hangs up on him. Her world is beginning to crumble around her.

The phone rings again and she answers. Her grandmother is in the hospital again. She has to answer. It's him.

"Don't hang up!" he says quickly. She hesitates. "Just hear me out," he says in a calm voice. She listens. "I love you. I love you, I love your daughter, and I love that little black pain-in-the-ass you call a dog of yours."

He makes her laugh through her tears. "Don't lie. You know you don't love my dog," she jests while she wipes away tears.

He sighs into the phone. "I promise to love the dog... as long as you promise to keep her out of our bed. I'll love the dog. I'll spoil the dog. I'll even buy the dog her own hamburgers with pickles and fries with ketchup. Just keep her out of the bed, okay?"

"It won't be easy, but I'll try," she sighs back.

"Good. That's all I ask. Now, listen to me... pack your shit, pack your daughter's shit, put the little black dog in the car with y'all, and get your asses over here. Move in with me now. Tonight."

"Tom, I don't think I can," she says with her heart breaking in two. "You're asking me to move not just me, but my kid and the dog into a house that isn't even ours. You're laid off right now. You don't even have work."

"I know that. I love you and you say you love me. That's all that matters. We'll deal with the rest of it tomorrow. I'll find work, I promise. Just get in the car and come to me. Trust me, and come on. Now."

She swallows hard and chokes. The panic is setting in again. He hears it in her voice.

"I haven't lied to you yet. I've never made a promise I haven't kept. Get your things and come to me, right now. I'll take care of you. I love you. Just say you're coming. That's all I want to hear," he repeats himself again.

"I'm on my way. We'll be there in thirty minutes," she says. She hears him take a deep breath.

"I'll be waiting. You just made me the happiest man on earth. I love you. See you in thirty minutes," he says as he hangs up the phone.

*****

Falls comes, and they're still living together, happily. Most of her family won't speak to her, except to try to convince her that she has made a mistake. He keeps his promises to her. He finds work and in less than three weeks, he rents their first house; a small cottage near the beach, barely big enough for three and one little black dog.

He works hard, long hours. He pays the bills on time, never behind. He buys the groceries and spares no expense. Seven days a week, he leaves for work before light, comes home after dark, and still, he makes time to bond with her daughter. He makes time to bond with the black dog. He makes time to listen to her, to make her laugh, to teach her new things, to be a family, to make love to her every night and every morning.