Back to Life Ch. 06 and Epilogue

Haarlem was a lovely city, old and full of history, but he was least interested in the job he had applied for there. Its proximity to Amsterdam was one of the reasons he was even considering it. Nijmegen seemed ideal. The program he would work in was well-known in Europe, and the city itself was just the right size for his tastes. Its also being close to Amsterdam was a lovely bonus, and now, with his desire, for the first time since before Alijd's death, to be married again, he thought it might be better for him to move closer to Amsterdam. It felt right, because it was where he first met Karen.

His thoughts were interrupted by the summons to the interview room, where he did his best to sound interested in a job he had decided he wouldn't take if they offered it to him. At the very least, he had to be civil. Once back on the road, he made a number of stops, deciding nothing was to be gained by hesitating or procrastinating. The next time he saw Karen, he wanted to be ready, in case she decided to give him a chance to find happiness with her. He called Elke, who was delighted to hear from him, and they agreed to dinner on Friday evening at Elke's place. Elke declared herself eager to help him in any way she could, because she had liked what little she had seen of Karen. He was relieved. He had very few friends, and it felt good to know he could count on them when he needed them. He apologized for asking for her help with Scrooge again, explaining about his interviews in the south, and she was as willing as always to keep his dog for him.

That settled, he drove to Haarlem to his friend's home, and was happy to find himself just in time for dinner.

"Peter, it's good to see you!" Dirk's handshake was firm and his smile welcoming. He was himself a widower, but had recently moved to Haarlem to be with the woman he would be marrying in a month's time.

"It's good to be here, my friend!" Peter followed his friend indoors, and dropped his bag next to the umbrella stand, where Dirk left it, leading him to the kitchen where the table was laid.

"I hope you don't mind being informal. Ilse won't be back till much later, and I'll have to pick her up at the station."

"Informal is fine, Dirk. I'm too tired anyway. It's been rather a long day for me, and I have an early start tomorrow."

They sat down to roast duck and baby potatoes, with sauteed vegetables, washed down with white wine. Peter told Dirk about the jobs he was looking into, but said nothing about Karen. He needed to be certain of her first before letting anyone else in on the secret. He would have to tell Jannie first before anyone else. Later that evening, after his shower, he sat composing poetry for Karen, one of which he planned to send to her before going to bed. He assumed Karen would be out with her friends, so he didn't bother to call, just sent her the poem and went to bed.

He read Karen's reply before leaving the following morning, and after arranging to return for lunch with Dirk, set off for the school. He realized that he missed her very much, after only a day apart, and he was glad he would see her again later. Not even with Alijd had he felt this intimacy, this connection that he feared, if it were lost, would break him completely. He put in a favorite CD into the changer in the car, and let the music soothe him as he drove. Happily, he found a parking spot close to the building. The interview was exhaustive, and at the end of it, he didn't think they would hire him. For one thing, he came with too much experience, and therefore too high a price tag. For another, he wasn't sure he had managed to conceal completely his lack of interest in the job. Ah well, he was not bothered by a possible rejection. Nijmegen seemed ideal to him, and he would be sure to be on his best interview in time for the afternoon.

Lunch was with Dirk and Ilse at a local restaurant, after which he returned to their home to pick up his things and ready himself for his final meeting. Accepting hugs from his friends, Peter set off for his afternoon appointment, containing his excitement at the thought that he would see Karen in a few hours' time. He needed to focus for this last interview at the university that he really wanted to work in, and thoughts of what he would do to her later would not help him there. The interview went off without a hitch and by early evening Peter was knocking on the door to Karen's room. He had called her, after the interview was over, to let her know he was on his way, and his chest expanded when she opened it.

Her smile drew him in, and he barely restrained himself enough to close the door before he pulled her into his kiss. She smelled like strawberries and tasted like chocolates, and he was suddenly ravenous for her.

"I missed you, liefje," he confessed while stripping her of the robe she was wearing. Her hair damp, her skin cool, as though she had just finished a shower. He inhaled deeply when he saw her breasts, bending his head to suckle them. She groaned when he nipped and licked her nipples, and when he drew her panties down her legs and helped her step out of them, she relaxed completely against him.

"I missed you, too!" She sighed when he renewed his assault on her erect nipples, and as soon as he stood again to kiss her lips, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her naked body. His own hardened in response, and all the pent-up lust of the past day had him pulling her to the couch and losing his clothes faster than he ever had as a younger man. The need to be with her in the most intimate way was overwhelming, and after he had brought her crashing into orgasm twice, he took his own pleasure, not being able to hold off the hunger any longer. Heart racing, gasping for breath, he collapsed over her when the last of his cum boiled up and poured into her.

Finally, he rolled off her and pulled her up into a tender kiss.

"Let's shower together," he invited her.

"We'll have to hurry," she said, picking up their clothes. "I've invited Toni and Niall for drinks. I want you to meet them."

She walked away towards the bathroom, and he was glad, because he needed a few seconds to process the information and decide how he felt about it. His plans did not include a second couple, and certainly not one that included a man who had once been interested in her. But he was an adult, and he was determined to make her happy in every way he could. A few drinks couldn't hurt, and at least it gave him the chance to see the man who might have been a rival for her affections, and finally resolve the seed of jealousy that he now admitted had never been uprooted.

They showered quickly, and though Peter knew Karen had expected more, he found himself unable to do more than bathe her tenderly and send her to dress while he washed himself. By the time he exited the bathroom, she was dressed in a short-sleeved linen dress of pale pink that stopped just above her knees. Her feet were encased in matching pumps, and she turned to him with a smile.

"Would you zip me up, please?" She turned away again, and he reached down to pull the zipper the rest of the way up. "I went shopping with Toni yesterday while Niall was in meetings, and bought this outfit. Do you like it?"

She turned again as she spoke and spread her arms wide.

"It's a lovely dress, sweetie," he said, smiling back at her. "The color suits you."

"I'd better let you get dressed," she continued, turning back to apply makeup. "Don't want Toni to arrive with you en déshabillé."

She chuckled at her joke, and he relaxed, glad of her teasing. He wanted to be as natural as possible when her friends arrived. By the time he slipped his feet into his loafers, Karen was ready and watching him.

"You look good," she remarked, walking over to touch his sleeve. The long-sleeved shirt he wore was dark blue and open at the collar in deference to the warm temperatures.

"Not as good as you do, I'm sure," he replied gallantly, and kissed her cheek. "I assume we're having drinks in the hotel bar?"

"Yes. I told Toni and Niall to be here by six."

As if on cue, there was a quiet knock on the door. Karen went to open it while Peter inhaled deeply and waited. A flurry of activity at the open door brought his eyes to the scene, and his smile was natural and amused. The two women were hugging each other as though they had not just met the day before. He turned his eyes to the man who stood next to them, very tall and younger than he, and saw a reflection of his own amusement on Niall's face. He moved forward just as the friends broke apart, and Karen said,

"Peter, this is Toni," she gestured to her friend, "and Niall. Guys, this is Peter."

Peter found himself embraced by a vivacious dark-haired beauty, shorter than Karen but just as curvy. He shook hands with Niall, who seemed very pleasant, and was clearly besotted with Toni, for which he was truly grateful. Taking the lead, he escorted them all down to the hotel bar, and they chose a table, having decided in the elevator that they would have a pub supper as well.

"So, Karen told me you took her to a concert this past weekend," Toni said as they waited for the starters to arrive. "Is this an annual event? She seemed to enjoy it a lot, and it might be something I'd like to see myself."

Happy to be able to contribute something to the conversation, Peter gave as much detail as he thought would interest them without being boring. Karen's enthusiastic interjections pleased him, and when Niall asked if they could perhaps make up a foursome next year to take in the two-day event, he blinked in surprise, but recovered quickly.

"That would be fine," he replied, and then nodded when Karen excused herself to the ladies room. Toni followed along behind her, and he chuckled at Niall's question.

"Why do women go the the restroom in pairs? I've never understood it."

Peter shook his head. "Me either, to be honest. Though in this case, I think it may have something to do with us."

Niall smiled, agreeing with him. Then his face turned serious, and he looked earnestly into Peter's face. "Karen is a beautiful woman, Peter," he began. A small silence as if to choose his next words, and then he continued, "The first time I met her, I was bowled over, or so I thought. I was quite prepared to try and steal her away from you, till I met Toni. In the end, I was right. We met for a reason." When Peter did not respond, the younger man ended, "If you hadn't invited her to the pub, I would not have gone back the next night and found her alone. And I would not have met Toni. I just wanted to say thanks."

He stuck his hand out then, and Peter shook it, relieved that the air was clear between them, and hoping that they could forge a true friendship. If Karen and Toni had anything to do with it, that was a certainty. The rest of the evening was filled with pleasant conversations, laughter, and a growing bond of friendship. By the time the two couples said their goodnights, and the women hugged and parted, Peter was happy that he had met and been approved of by Karen's best friend, and satisfied that he had nothing to fear from the man of whom he had been secretly jealous.

He made slow love to Karen that night, bringing her time and again to the peak, but not letting her go over. He wanted her wild for him; he wanted to leave his stamp on her; he wanted to mark her as his. He had never experienced anything like this rampage of feeling, this wildness that was roaring through his blood and he took her up one last time, his hands all over her, his mouth raiding hers, his cock finally plunging deep into her, taking her hard, It felt as though his hips had a mind of their own, because although he tried to slow it down, he was out of all control by the time he pushed them both into an all-consuming orgasm. He gasped and shouted as he came over and over inside her, and she held on tightly with her arms and her legs to his shaking body, raising her hips to meet his thrusts, slamming herself into him, crying out her own release.

They lay gasping for breath and utterly sated, and when she turned into the cocoon of his arms, he kissed her tenderly and watched her fall asleep.

He woke before her next morning. It was still dark, and he slid quietly out of bed to fetch her gift from his bag. The little box was covered in blue velvet, and the sparkling diamond and ruby ring winked at him. The yellow gold band was thin but sturdy, round-edged, the way he liked it. He hoped she wasn't into the fancy new-fangled wedding sets, because he was what some would call "old school" about jewelry. He stood over the bed watching her sleep, and his heart warmed. She was everything he could ever have imagined as a lover, everything he had ever wanted, and he stifled the worry that his advanced years might make him soon come to be less than satisfactory to her. So far, he and she had been in sync, and he would do everything to ensure that they could continue to enjoy each other as they had so far been doing.

She stirred, and he sat down beside her on the bed, waiting for her to open her eyes. When she did, she was immediately awake, no confusion showing in their brown depths. She smiled, and his heart beat faster.

"Good morning, liefje," he whispered. "Did you sleep well?"

Her smile widened, and she nodded, yawning. "Why are you up so early?" she wanted to know, looking over at the digital clock on the radio.

"I had to get something." He stopped, and pulled her up to sit next to him, wrapping the bedclothes around her to keep her warm. "I bought you a gift yesterday, and I wanted to give it to you before we went back home."

"You didn't have to buy me anything, Peter," she protested, a small frown creasing her forehead. "I wasn't expecting..."

"This is one gift I must give you, love," he cut her off. "It's tradition." At her puzzled frown, he held out the little velvet box to her. "Go on. Open it, please. I need to know if you like it."

He waited patiently while she stared at it, comprehension dawning, her eyes darting to his face and back to the box, before she took it with trembling fingers and opened it. The engagement ring winked at her, and he could see, by the way her eyes widened, that she liked it. But he would ask, anyway, just to be sure.

"Do you like it, baby?" His voice was hoarse, but there wasn't much he could do about it at the moment.

"It's beautiful, Peter. Thank you!"

She looked into his eyes, but did not take the ring from the box. He smiled...how like her! He loved that she didn't jump the gun, but waited for him to say his piece.

"I've felt drawn to you since the first day we met, Karen. In fact, if I were to be romantic about it, I'd say that from the start I was bowled over, pun intended. And you know how I feel about you. This was inevitable, as far as I was concerned. I knew I would ask you to marry me. As I am doing now." He paused, taking both her hands in his. "I wish I knew what your answer will be. I hope it will be what I want to hear." Another pause, while he raised her hands to his lips and kissed the back of each one. "Will you marry me, liefje?"

She did not immediately answer him, but held on to his hands. He took that as a good sign, and waited, holding his breath.

"I have had three other marriage proposals, Peter," she said, and he tried to contain his shock. "The first was because I had gotten pregnant and his father made him propose to me. But we were both too young, too immature, and too wrong for each other. I said no, to the horror and disappointment of my parents, and the silent relief of the boy and his family. When I lost the baby, everyone but me was happy."

She looked into his eyes, as if to gauge his reaction, and obviously liking what she saw, she continued. "The second one was drunk when he asked, and horrified when I told him what he had done the next day. His relief at my refusal was a slap in the face, because I had begun to harbor some feelings for him..."

Peter interrupted her. "Then why did you say no, love?"

"Because he was drunk. I wanted him to ask me when he was sober, so I would know for sure that he meant it." She sighed, and a sad smile lifted her lips for a moment. "I'm glad I was so sensible. Even if he did break my heart just a little bit."

"How old were you the second time?" he asked quietly.

"Twenty-five," she replied. "The last time was a year ago." She stopped, inhaled deeply, and then went on. "We had been friends for years, and when he proposed, it had been almost happenstance. I said yes to what I thought was a joking proposal of marriage which I later found out had been serious. I didn't know how to back out gracefully, so I kept putting it off. Then he was killed, and I was released from that burden. But guilt is still a heavy weight, one which I've only recently let go of."

"Did you love him?" Peter's voice was as still as the quiet room.

"Yes," she answered, and finally looked him in the eyes. "Yes, I did. But not enough to want to live with him for the rest of my life. And not at all like I love you."

He opened his mouth to say something, but she slid a trembling finger over them, shushing him.

"This time, I'm saying yes to the right person for the right reason." She reached up and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Yes, Peter, I will marry you."

She wiped the tear that slipped silently down his cheek as he took the ring from the box and put it on her finger. He kissed it and held her hand over his heart. "I love you, too, Karen." When he reached for her and pulled her close, she relaxed against him. His body stirred, and he tilted her head up so he could see her eyes when he said, "You've brought me back to life, when I thought I would never be alive again." He kissed her then, slowly, thoroughly, waking the need in them, and then proceeded to show her how much he loved her.

Karen had always thought herself a level-headed woman until Peter put a ring on her finger. Beyonce's song kept playing over in her head... "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it". She hummed the tune as she showered, dressed, and packed her things. It rang in her head as they went down for breakfast, then checked out. It made her smile as they drove away from Amsterdam, back to Leeuwarden. It felt good to know that Peter had "liked it" enough to "put a ring on it". And oh my, what a ring!

She held her hand and spread her fingers, tilting her hand up so she could see the diamonds sparkling around the rich red ruby, that went so well with her skin tone. She loved it, and was so pleased that Peter was not one of those men enslaved to everything modern. Her last fiance had been, and the ring he had given her, which she still had in the bottom of the closet she had in Lloyd's house, was a brash modern thing, platinum and white gold with stones all round its wide band. She could see about getting rid of it, now. It was time to plan a wedding.

Epilogue

Two months later, after they had found and bought a lovely home, and had both moved into it, on a sparkling early summer afternoon, Peter and Karen said their "I do's" in a quiet, elegant ceremony attended by the very few guests they invited. Toni stood up for Karen, and Dirk for Peter. The only other guests were Ilse, Dirk's new wife, Niall, Elke and Remi, Duncan and Jannie, George and Elaine. The day was warm and bright, and as they spoke their vows to each other, with smiles of sheer joy on their faces, their friends and family shared in the deep emotions they exuded.

Karen's dress was seashell white, a floor-length affair of strapless silk. She and Toni had shopped together to choose it, and after a long day of disappointing slogging from store to store, they had found it in a little shop off the main shopping thoroughfare in London. It shimmered with the play of light on the lace flowers interwoven with ruby-colored satin thread on the fitted bodice. The full skirt, which fell from just below her breasts, swirled when she moved, the confection of ruby-tinted chiffon drifting above the underskirt making her appear to float. The chiffon wrap that came with it would be the perfect evening covering for a late summer wedding. She wore satin slippers to match her gown. Her bouquet was ruby and white roses. Toni's gown was ruby-red chiffon, and she wore high-heeled satin slippers to match.