Ballerina Mum Performs For Son

I ask myself that if this is the case, this "eternal recurrence", will I cry out in despair over such a prospect? Or, will I think it is the most wonderful outlook ever? If indeed I experience despair, then, it logically follows that I am not happy with the way I live my life.

Still, I feel a bit uneasy. Has the dark shadow really disappeared? Or is it inside me, concealed, waiting for its chance to reappear? Like a clever thief hidden inside a

house, breathing quietly, waiting until everyone is asleep. I have looked deep inside myself, trying to detect something that might be there. But just as my consciousness is a maze, so too is my body. Everywhere I turn, there is darkness, and a blind spot. Everywhere I find silent hints, everywhere a surprise is waiting for me. All I have to go on are experience and instinct.

I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there. But I do not. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the sea. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn.

We languish at the garden edge abyss, gazing into the far horizon, waiting for the future to show up.

***

Epilogue

Fast forward.

Some place on this lonely planet at the pointy interesting end of South America. Puerto Toro to be precise, the southernmost village in the world. This is how far we have journeyed, and how far we have moved. This is how far we have come. Tierra del Fuego. Land of fire.

Do you know, if you look at the map of South America, it looks like a lush ballerina on permanent en pointe. All that blustery fire at her slender pivot of toes, and yet the elegant comely thrusting poise. This explains why South Americans are South Americans. And why the rest of us are not. Am I a silly old woman romanticising things to mush? But, what is there to romanticise. South Americans are the very definition of romance.

Christian and I are hunkered over a small table at the Restaurante Flor de Carne, just across the street from the hotel. We sit outside in the open air cafe, right at streetside. We are leaning close in to each other. I have something to tell him...

The End