Bandit

"You should see it in the fall when the leaves are turning. It is truly amazing." I said thinking back on the number of times a short walk like this had cleared my head, even if it was only eight degrees outside.

"It is beautiful, but can we go back inside? I'm so cold that I can't feel my own boobs!"

I laughed way louder than I should have at that and we made our way back to the house.

"There is nothing like a loyal and faithful dog beside you, a roaring fireplace and a cup of hot chocolate to warm a girl up and remind her where her boobs are." I said as I smiling as I handed her the mug I had made for her.

"There's also a lot to be said for a hot shower and not going out in it in the first place!" she countered laughing. "Damn that was cold! Breathtakingly beautiful but cold!"

"It ain't the beach, that's for sure." I said laughing.

"Nope. Floridians would just die where they were standing if it got this cold down there."

"So," I asked after she had finished the hot chocolate, "do you have any long terms plans or do you just plan on having no plan and staying on the road for the rest of your life?"

"I wish I could stop somewhere long enough to get my act together. That would be a dream come true, but this is the first time I have stayed for two nights in the same place since last year."

"Really?"

"Yes Sam, I'm smart enough to know that she will not let up until she finds me. My mother can be a ruthless and vindictive bitch when she wants to be, and she wants to be when it comes to me."

"Why?"

"Because I embarrassed her. She married that douchebag a year ago; I saw it on Facebook."

"Do what?" I asked, shocked to the core when I heard it.

"May God strike me blind if I am lying."

And the power went out.

"What the Hell!" Misti cried out with Bandit barking at her outburst in surprise.

"Power is out." I said laughing at her. Honestly, I was surprised it had stayed on this long.

"But what about the lights when it gets dark? Will we have heat?" she asked seriously concerned.

"Come with me Beach Bunny and I'll show you how we roll in the hills and hollers."

I walked to the hall closet and pulled out the propane heaters and a couple of bottles then told her to grab the stove and a couple of bottles and I walked into the kitchen. I opened the cabinets under the sink and then took the stove from her and sat it on the countertop near the range. I took the remaining two heaters into the bathrooms and opened the cabinets under the sinks.

Going back to the closet, I grabbed two kerosene lamps from the top and took them into the living room and sat them on the hearth. Then we went, first to her room and then to mine and removed the mattresses and drug them to the living room; we sat them on the floor in front of the fireplace. Then I went to the side pantry and pulled all eight five-gallon jugs of water out and sat them on the counter near the sink. I took the food out of the freezer and sat it in a cooler on the back porch and I took the milk and other perishables out of the fridge and sat them on the floor of my bedroom and closed the door. My final move was to hang a blanket over the hallway entrance, and the kitchen so the heat wouldn't escape down the hallway.

"Wow!" she said, "I'm kind of impressed. So, what do we do for entertainment tonight? Play shadow puppets on the wall with the firelight?"

"Nah, I've got a deck of cards and a lot of change, we can play penny ante poker or cribbage for a penny a point. Oh, and I have a battery powered DVD player and radio too." I added grinning at her.

"Been through this before huh?" she quipped.

"Yep. Couple of times."

"Did you say poker?"

"Yes."

"I haven't played poker in years."

"Don't worry, I'll take it easy on you."

"You do that country boy. You do just that." she said with an evil grin on her face.

By the time the sun had fully set I had lost everything in front of me. I was getting really frustrated when she looked up with a straight face and said "Well, we could switch it up and play strip poker."

"Wait! What?" I sputtered.

"I'm not afraid of you Sam, you'll be wrapped in a blanket and turning blue, long before I would." she said laughing at my shocked expression.

"Let's just lie and say we did okay? That way everyone gets to keep their dignity intact and you don't have to embarrass an old guy."

"Spoilsport." She said with a pout on her face. "You're probably right though, I'd lose the first two hands on purpose and then take off my shirt and bra and clean house while you were distracted."

"That would probably work." I thought grudgingly to myself.

Then she added, "Guys. Show them boobs, scratch their ears and pet their heads and they will follow you like a lost puppy. Isn't that right Bandit?" He lifted his head, snorted and then dropped it back to his paws. I would hazard to guess that you could hear her laughing a quarter of a mile from the living room.

The best part about the evening was when Bandit strolled over and laid down beside me. Since Misti's arrival he hadn't left her side except for when nature called or when he was eating. If he was drifting back to me that meant that her anxiety levels were dropping and that was a good thing. Even Misti noticed it saying to Bandit, "Fine! Be that way, see if you get any bacon tomorrow for breakfast."

His ears perked up when she said bacon, but he dropped them back down and turned back to the fireplace.

"What movie are we watching?" she asked a few seconds later.

"You pick one out, I'm going to make some Jiffy-Pop and grab a beer."

"Do you have any wine in there?"

"Yes."

"Can I have a glass? A small one?"

I paused for a moment and then thought out loud, "Sure, why not?"

"Thank you."

I walked back into the living room shivering because it was freezing in the kitchen even with the heater going. I saw Bandit curled up beside Misti on her mattress. At first, I got concerned but then I noticed his tail thumping up and down and I realized that she had somehow managed to steal my dog from me right from under my nose. Loving and faithful companion my dying ass!

Handing her the wine and popcorn I sat down on my mattress and said, "Misti, I need to say something and then we can watch the movie."

"Sure. What is it?" she asked, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"What you said earlier about showing a guy your boobs, promise me that you won't ever do that. Please? You are far too pretty and intelligent to use your body like. Believe me, every man in the room notices when you walk in. You are a beautiful young woman and any guy would be lucky to take you to bed. But sex should be a reward for him treating you like you deserve to be treated, instead of enticing someone you barely know to do something for you."

Her blue eyes stared at me for about five seconds before they started to tear up. "Sam, you really have to stop treating me this way. I'm not use to it and you will end up giving me some very serious Daddy issues that I may never be able to work through."

"I'll get you the best therapist money can buy if that happens Misti, just promise me this one thing and we will call it even. All of this."

"Deal. I promise."

Remembering something my daughter use to do when she was little, I held up my pinky. "Pinky promise?"

She smiled and then tossing her head back laughing said, "Pinky promise.", locking hers with mine and kissing the knuckles.

Then we settled in to watch Draft Day, because it had Sam Elliot in it and he is "a completely doable stud with a nice ass, even if he is older than baseball". I just shook my head at that announcement and hit the Play button.

I didn't make it through the entire movie and right as I was drifting off; I could have sworn I felt a set of warm, soft lips touch mine and a voice whisper "Bandit isn't the only ladies' man around here."

The power was still out when we woke up, and we spent most of Monday morning talking about enrolling her in continuing education courses getting her a GED and a job somewhere in the area. I realized that I had given her the first sense of hope and glance at normalcy that she had felt or seen in a very long time. Since I had done that, I believed that I had a moral obligation to continue to help her out. That is also when I realized why most counselors tend to remain aloof and distant from their clients on a personal level.

While we were eating lunch, I turned on the radio to listen to the local news at noon. The lead story was the local female newscaster breathlessly warning the listening audience about a fugitive and former runaway from Florida who might be in the local area. She was wanted by the FBI and local Florida authorities relating to auto theft and credit card fraud from three years ago. The entire time we sat there stunned as they said the accused's name was Misti Anne Smothers.

"How in the world do they know where I am?" Misti muttered after she removed her hands from her mouth.

"Did you check your email Saturday night?"

"Yes, that and I went on Facebook for a minute to see if I still had an account."

"They pinged the server that my internet provider used to make the connection when you logged on. It got them in the ballpark, but they still can't find their seat. I didn't know about the warrants then or I would have said something to you."

"I have to go! She will find out where I am!" she cried out in a panic leaping to her feet.

"Relax, she already knows and is probably on her way here with a couple of Jacksonville's finest to have you extradited back to Florida. What we, not you, we are going to sit right here and wait for them. As a matter of fact, I am going to call the Sheriff and offer up an invitation for him to come over and meet you. Then we are going to plan, what is known in the Infantry as, a good old-fashioned ass whipping. Go charge your cell phone up, there are a couple of battery packs by my mattress."

Then I smiled. It felt good to smile that smile. I hadn't smiled like that since my second tour in Iraq. I was back in my element.

"Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, that fugitive from Florida? I know where she is." I said immediately.

"Where is she Sir?" The dispatcher responded quickly.

"She is sitting in my living room with my dog's head in her lap and she wants to talk to the Sheriff." I said looking at Misti with Bandit curled up beside her on the couch.

"Are you safe Sir?" the dispatcher asked in a concerned tone.

"Absolutely."

"Has she threatened you in any way?" she asked, again sounding concerned.

"No, but she kicked my ass at poker last night." I said smiling across the couch at her.

"Is this a prank call?"

I handed the phone to Misti, instructing her to, "Give them your name and your old address and tell them you want to speak to the sheriff.", after she did she handed me the phone back.

I gave the dispatcher my name and address and then added "Do me a favor and tell Sheriff Donnellson that Sam Williams said to climb his ass up out of his big comfy chair and do some real police work for a change."

Then with Misti's eyes as big around as saucers, I hung up.

"Did you just really say that?"

"Relax. Bobby and I go way back together. We went to high-school and Basic Training together on the Buddy Plan and served together for my first three years. He got out, came back home and joined the Sheriff's Department; I stayed in and retired. He's a good guy and as honest and level headed as they come."

"So, what does that mean?" she asked nervously.

"It means that I'm going to use every resource at my disposal to keep you safe in Virginia and out of jail in Florida."

"Thank you."

"It also means that I am never, ever going to speak to another strange woman in a Wal-Mart parking lot for as long as I live!"

"Ass!" she cried out and then laughing she hurled a pillow at me.

I figured it would take them at least two hours to get to my home, even in one of the four-wheel drive Suburbans that the department owned. I was wrong. Thirty minutes later Bandit barked, and I heard the crunch of tires on the snow in my driveway. Looking out I saw not one but three Sheriff's vehicles sitting there with their blues and reds flashing.

Six deputies got out with long rifles and side arms held at low-ready and fanned out across my lawn. Bobby stepped out of the lead truck and walked toward my front door like he owned it. I opened the door in time to hear him say, "So help me God if one of you discharges a round, I will skin you myself."

You gotta love southern sheriffs.

"Sam." He said nodding to me as I stepped on the porch.

"Bobby." I said calmly as three AR-15s and three Glock 10s were being pointed at me.

"Why am I standing in your front yard freezing my ass off?"

"Because your men are pointing their weapons at me?" I offered.

"Down!" he barked, and they immediately complied.

"Now it's because you don't have the sense to come inside where it is warm." I said grinning.

"Is she really here?" he asked, looking at me with a perplexed look on his face. "Here, here?"

"Yes. Long story and you need to hear it but yes, she is sitting on the couch."

"Is she armed?" he asked, stepping onto the porch and shaking my hand.

"Hell no! Do you think I would lead my oldest friend into an ambush? What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"It's good to see you too Asshole!" he said grinning.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I'm the Sheriff, remember? I made a phone call to the Highway Department and POOF, a great big road grader appeared in front of my truck. I can do that because I'm sort of a big deal in these parts." he replied laughing loudly as he stepped across the threshold and walked into the cabin.

Misti was sitting on the couch on the verge of tears and Bandit was curled up beside her, looking at me and Bobby. His tail was lightly swatting the cushion and I knew that he was being hyper vigilant and very protective of Misti right now.

"Misti Anne Smothers?" Bobby asked her, removing his hat and sitting down in my recliner.

"Yes." she said softly.

"You're not under arrest, but you are being detained for questioning. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"So, young lady, why don't you explain to me how you went from Jacksonville, Florida and ended up sitting the living room of one of my oldest friends? But please hurry, because I got a phone call from the Richmond FBI field office a little while ago. They are on the way here with two Jacksonville police officers and your mother and step-father. I figure you have an hour at most."

She told him. Slowly, painfully and very tearfully she told him everything that happened that night in Jacksonville. She showed him the text messages that her mother had sent, she logged onto her Facebook account and showed him the timeline of the posts she had made. Twenty minutes later, she was done. Misti was wrecked, emotionally and mentally spent; she was exhausted and curled up on the couch, stroking Bandit's head, sobbing like her world had come to an end.

"Well, I think I've heard and seen enough. Honestly Sam, I don't know how you managed to get involved with this but I'm glad you did. If it had been anyone else, I don't think I would do what I am about to do."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Sorry buddy, but if I tell you, I'll have to kill you later. I'm gonna bring my boys inside to warm up by the fire and then we are going to wait on the Feds and the Jacksonville PD to show up. Call it a hunch but I don't think the young lady is going anywhere today."

Misti's shoulders heaved as she started sobbing in earnest. Sitting down beside her I wrapped my arms around her and said, "Hey, you need to stop that. Don't give those two the satisfaction of seeing you crying. I promised that you would be safe here and I meant it. Now go to the bathroom, blow your nose, dry those big blue eyes of yours and wash your face. We will stand them down together, you're not alone anymore and you're done running Beautiful."

"I am so sorry that I drug you into this Sam."

"I'm not, now go get ready." I said, gently pushing her up off the couch.

By then, the deputies were slowly filing into the cabin to warm up and they looked really confused to see Bandit and Misti standing between me and Bobby. Bandit had immediately jumped down and was standing beside her, suspiciously eyeing the deputies one by one as they entered. Misti paused for a moment and then smiling she leaned down and softly kissed me. Turning to Bobby, she said "Sheriff, I'm don't know what you have planned but I want to say thank you. You are an absolute Angel." Then she rose up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.

Bobby blushed like a school boy and then looking around a roomful of his smiling and smirking deputies said "Not a word, not a single peep out of any of you. Do you understand?"

"Sure thing Angel." the oldest one said as the rest burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry Sheriff." she said smiling as she headed for the bathroom.

We could hear the siren's echo for two minutes before they pulled into the driveway. They pulled around the sheriff's units in two sedans and the front four doors flew open simultaneously as two Feds and two Jacksonville PD detectives climbed out. They were greeted by Bobby and his deputies, with me Misti and Bandit standing in the middle of the line on the front porch.

"Sheriff." the older of the two FBI agents said nodding as they walked toward the porch.

"Who told you that you could go Code Three in my jurisdiction?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, who told you to go Code Three in my jurisdiction?"

I'm a Federal Agent." He stammered.

"Mister, I don't give a damn if your name is J. Edgar Hoover! You don't turn on the blinky lights and make noise in my county unless you are in a called pursuit. Do you understand me?" Bobby said angrily.

"Yes Sir." The agent replied and then pausing asked, "Is that her?"

"Yeah that's her." Bobby responded.

"Misti Anne Smothers, I am placing you under arrest for," one of the Jacksonville detectives began to say.

"Slow down Detective, obviously you weren't listening to me when I spoke to the Feds so let me break it down for you as well. I don't know how they do it down in Florida; but here in Virginia, nobody arrests anybody in my county unless I say they can. Do you understand me?"

"Sheriff, what the Hell is going on here?" the lead FBI agent asked, looking really confused.

I glanced up to see the back door of the last cruiser pop open and an older version of Misti got out and stood by the car glaring at us. Then the door on the other side opened and a guy about my age and size climbed out of the car. Carl stormed across the yard through the snow, screaming "What the fuck are you waiting for? Arrest that little bitch! Arrest her now damn it!"

Misti gripped my hand tighter and shrank back as he closed quickly on the porch whispering "Oh God." Bandit stood up and fangs bared, he began to growl from deep in his chest. I hadn't put him on a leash because I never expected a physical confrontation, not with Bobby and his crew here. Pushing past the four cops standing in the yard, he got to within three feet of the porch, still screaming obscenities at Misti when Bandit launched.

Eighty pounds of flying muscle, fur and fangs took the bastard straight to the snow-covered ground. Bandit had him by the right forearm and was jerking him around like he was a chew toy; he was screaming like a little girl, begging for someone to make the bad dog go away. I jumped off the porch and grabbing Bandit by the collar pulled him off. The big bad douchebag wasn't so big or bad anymore as he scampered back across the blood splattered snow like a crab, wincing in pain.