Bar Tales


I was sitting in my favorite lunch-time hang-out, a local bar where they served a dynamite steak sandwich. It was Friday afternoon, and I was contemplating calling it a week and getting a head start on the weekend.

I needed to break out of my slump, maybe find a little strange trim. My girlfriend had dumped me a couple of weeks back, citing what she considered an over-active sex drive on my part.

I didn't see it that way- she had acted like she was a total freak at the start of the relationship, talking about how much she loved sucking cock, and screwing in public places, and always hinting about bringing a friend along, etc, etc. and then a few months later turned into an ice-queen, complaining about how nasty the taste of cum was and bitching about having a headache every other night.

So here I was checking out Amy the bartender, a slightly faded brunette beauty who was squatting at the far end of the bar stocking bottles of beer when a door opened behind me, letting in a bright swath of daylight. Funny- I had never noticed a door on that wall before.

I turned and nodded hello as a thin guy with short curly-brown hair took a stool a couple of seats down. He flashed a grin as he returned the nod, then waggled his eyebrows at the display of the bartenders' tender charms

"Nice scenery in this joint." He said.

"Yeah," I took a sip of my sweet tea. "I was wondering if she was advertising or something."

He had pulled out a little device, a little bigger than a black-berry or palm pilot, but obviously some sort of computer. He typed a few keystrokes, his youthful face lit by the blue screen.

"Nope." He announced. "She bats for the other team, if you know what I mean."

I laughed. "You can tell that from here? You must have a hell of a program loaded into that thing."

He grinned again, and his dark eyes flashed mischievously. "You have no idea. But, hey- lookee here. " He glanced around the bar, looking towards the row of booths along one wall, then back to me. "If you're interested, that blonde in the corner booth is down-right eager to give some head."

I looked in the direction he indicated. There was indeed a blonde woman sitting in the corner booth- a slightly huskily built woman in a business suit. She was probably in her mid-forties, and while certainly no hottie, she was not bad looking at all, sitting there flipping thru a magazine on the table in front of her.

I grinned myself. "Yeah, she looks like she's just raring to go."

He shook his head, still grinning, and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and plunked it on the bartop. "That says if we walk over and sit down, she cleans our pipes right then and there."

I sat back and looked closer at him. My first notion was that the guy was just a shit-talker. But maybe there was something more here. Maybe he knew the blonde lady, and this was a game they played so he could solicit some action for her or something.

Either way, I was in the mood to play along. Standing up, I waived him ahead. "Lead on, friend."

He stuck out his hand as he collapsed his device and pocketed it. "Name's Scott- my friends call me Scotty."

I nodded back. "John Smith." I took the hand, smiling as I told the lie. I doubted he was called Scott either.

The blonde lady looked up with no expression as we paused at the table.

"Mind if we join you?" Scott asked. "You look like you could use a little company."

She hesitated a moment, then moved over without a word. I sat across from her while Scotty slid in next to her.

Scott grinned up at her- he was a short little fellow and she towered over him. "My friend and I were talking about your mouth. You have kind lips."

"Kind lips?" She repeated, her voice husky.

"You know- the kind we'd like to have wrapped around our rods."

Her eyebrows rose, and she looked around nervously before taking a healthy swig of the cocktail in front of her. She licked her lips and leaned forward to whisper something in Scott's ear. He murmured something back, and she took one more look around then slipped under the table. Way too easy, I thought- this was obviously a set up. Oh, well, I figured- I'd never yet met a blowjob I didn't like.

Almost instantly I felt her hand stroking my crotch through my pants, and I felt myself quickly rising to the occasion. She fumbled my zipper open and I helped her fish out my tool. She licked it like a lollipop before engulfing the head. I'm no porn star, but it takes a pretty accomplished cock-sucker to swallow my whole sword, and she had only worked about half of it down before pulling off suddenly.

I figured she was working on getting Scott going, and sure enough, he winked at me as his grin widened even more. The waitress walked up as I felt the blonde woman's hand wrap around my shaft and begin stroking.

"Did she leave?" The waitress asked.

"Nah- she just went to the head." Scotty replied casually. "What are you drinking, John?"

"Bud-lite." I said, deciding instantly that going back to work was out of the question.

"Make it two," Scott said. "and bring the lady another of whatever she's having."

The mouth came back to me after a few minutes. She bumped her head on the table top when she went to bobbing her head, so reverted to a lot of tongue action instead, one hand working furiously on the base of my joint Theoretically, her other hand was still working over on Scotty.

We enjoyed the ministrations in silence until the beers came. I consider myself a sort of connaisseur of blowjobs, and I reckoned that she was just about average at best on the pole. Still, even a terrible blowjob is a hell of a lot better than jacking off all the time, so I was hardly complaining- this was far from terrible.

The waitress must have suspected something, because she frowned as she stepped away from the table.

"Not a bad way to spend a lunch hour, huh?" Scott said, and I had to agree.

I nodded. "She's not bad." I thought I ought to give her a compliment. After all- this could be his wife. Or even his mom, for that matter. I hadn't done anything but jack off in a couple of weeks, so it didn't take me long to start building towards an orgasm. She was using a lot of twist and stroke, and she had a strong, firm grip. I reached under the table and grabbed a handful of hair, forcing her down on my cock as I came, shooting load after load into her throat. She gobbled it down eagerly, and kept sucking as gradually went soft. With a final pat, she turned her full attention to Scott.

I tucked myself away and finished my beer and watched Scott's face as she worked him over. He looked at me and made a comically lusty face, then furrowed his brow and grunted. I knew his load was following my own down her throat.

As soon as he was done, he stood up, his cock still exposed and casually zipped up while standing in full view of anyone that cared to look our way.

"Thanks honey. You ready to scoot outta here, John?"

I shrugged, and we walked away from the table while the blonde lady was still underneath it. Passing the bar, Scott threw money towards the bartender. "She's going to probably need some napkins back there." He noted casually.

Stepping outside, Scott turned to face me. "You up for some more action? If you can give me a ride, I can get you all the pussy you want, instead of just a half-decent blow job from a transvestite."

I sputtered. "That was a ...transvestite?? Are you sure? And you didn't tell me before?"

He shrugged. "You got off, didn't you? So fucking what? You want to go for that ride?"

I was seriously considering punching his lights out. I was half a head taller than him, and had to have 50 lbs on him. Then he grinned again, and I thought "what the hell".

I called in to work as we drove out of the parking lot, and he pointed me towards the highway. He had his little computer thing out and was typing away on the miniature keypad.

"What is that thing?"

"Just what you think. Only a lot more high tech than anything you've ever seen, John."

"Uh- yeah. About that- my name is actually Jeff."

He flashed that grin yet again, nodding. "Whatever, dude. Hmm. Turn into that residential area up ahead."

"Sure, Scotty. But I'm onto the game- you don't have to act like you're just now figuring out where we're going to get laid. Was that really a transvestite?"

"Huh? Oh- yeah, sure. I'd of thought you could tell by the voice. Turn right up here- there's a horny little house-wife up ahead that is dying for some real live cock instead of just her toys."

If he wanted to keep up the front, I was OK with that- after all, it looked like I was going to get my ashes hauled for real now. But I was going to be damned sure it was a real woman this time, and for that matter it also occurred to me that maybe I better not turn my back on Scotty-boy either. Still- that just kind of added to the excitement.

We pulled into a beautifully landscaped drive that fronted a gorgeous house that was just short of being a mansion. Somebody obviously had a lot of money- which played in line with the hi-tech computer Scotty had. This had to be his place, I figured. Scott whistled as he jumped out and started for the front door. "Just follow my lead, Jeffrey- this is some prime-time pussy that is hot to trot."

He rang the bell as he folded up his computer and tucked it away. After a short wait, the drapes beside the door where pulled open slightly for several long moments. Then the door opened a crack, and a women's voice called out.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

Scotty voice was cheerful and friendly. "Well, we're actually here to help you. We're running a survey we were hoping you would participate with. A sex survey, actually. Can we come in?" I knew he was flashing her that grin of his, and right on queue she opened the door a little wider.

She was young- in her early twenties and red-headed, with wet hair that cascaded down to her shoulders in wavy curls. Her face was flushed and I suspected Scotty might have been right- she had been playing hard with her toys. She was wearing a house coat that she had clutched to her throat, but she was obviously very slightly built.

"A... sex survey?" Her bright green eyes roved over us warily.

"Yup. Like for starters- are you a moaner? Do you come out loud?"

Her eyes widened, and her hand tightened at her throat. If this was an act, she was pretty good at looking shocked and surprised. And more than a little curious.

"Can we come in? It's awful hot out here, and I'm starting to get all sticky." Scotty said, and stepped forward.

She stepped back automatically, and he was walking in past her. Her hand opened, and I saw that beneath the housecoat she was wearing a very thin negligee. One pert little tit pointed up at me through the light material. She looked at Scott walking into her house then back at me, then she shrugged and opened the door wide, and I stepped inside.

The interior was sumptuous. I followed Scott into a sunken living room with a leather sofa that stretched across three sides of the room. Scott plopped down and waived me to the other side, and the redhead walked somewhat nervously past me to sit between us. She was clutching at her housecoat again.

Scott introduced us, and she said her name was Charlene. She offered us a drink, but Scott waived it away, pulling out his computer. "Let's get right down to the survey. So Charlene- when was the last time your husband fucked you good and proper?"

She blushed visibly, looking down. "Bill doesn't -- he goes out of town a lot."

"A week? Two?" Scotty prompted.

She nodded silently, eyes averted.

"OK- next question. Do you swallow? Cum, that is- do you like to swallow a nice hot load?"

She shifted nervously, then nodded again.

"Do you like to swallow it all, or do you like some to shoot all over your face? Or maybe your tits?"

She looked at each of us in turn and squirmed a little. "Um, who do you work for, again?"

"Do you take it up the ass? I couldn't help but notice you have a very nice ass when you sat down." Scotty went on. "No? Hmm, we'll get back to that. OK- favorite position: how do you like to get fucked?"

"Um- doggy style, I guess." Her eyes were starting to gleam now, and the coat was open.

"Slow and steady or hard and fast?"

"Both. Either. Any way."

"Who do you think would eat pussy better, Jeff or me?"

She glanced at both of us. "Is this for real?"

"OK- let's talk about toys. Dildo or vibrator? Anal plugs? Well hell, let's just go see for ourselves, huh?" He stood up and walked down a hallway. Charlene hurriedly jumped up and followed, so I did the same. This show was immensely enjoyable, and if it was an act it was well worth paying admission.

"Wait- where are you going? Stop!" Charlene was saying in a rising voice as I followed them into a bedroom all done up in white.

"This thing is still all slicked up." Scotty said as he knelt by an upright plastic cock that was sticking straight up from a vaguely saddle-shaped box. He reached out and stroked it, then held his hand up to his nose. "Wow- you must have come a couple of different times. Show us how it works."

Charlene was standing there, looking mortified. Scotty looked up at her and winked. "Come on, Charlie. Gjve us a little show."

She caught her breath, then seemed to come to a decision. She slipped the housecoat off and stepped forward, her negligee reaching to just above the globes of her apple-shaped ass. A tiny strip of red hair marked the top of her mound.

She stepped over the saddle, straddling it, and stared at us. "First you have to lube it up pretty good- but like you said; it's already pretty slick." She squatted down and the immense cock was poised at the top of her gash. "I usually ease myself down it like this." She worked herself steadily down the entire length of the plastic schlong until her knees hit the ground. She was panting slightly now.

"Then I reach forward and flip this switch like so." A smooth electrical whirring began, and she began to rise and fall, gasping with each movement.

Scott looked over at me and waived me forward, clearly offering me first go. I hurriedly shucked my clothes and walked over behind her. Her gaze followed my jutting cock like a cat following a mouse. I squatted down behind her and grabbed her thighs from underneath, then stood up, lifting her smoothly off the machine, which still pistoned obscenely up and down. She couldn't weigh an ounce over a hundred pounds, so my display of strength wasn't any great feat, but it did set a certain tone.

I practically threw her onto the giant, king-sized plus bed and jumped up beside her. She writhed around to meet me, and her legs twined up around my waist as she kissed me fiercely. I cupped and stroked her tits with one hand as I guided my prick to her pussy lips with the other.

She was hot and wet and well-stretched from the machine, and I slid smoothly inside her. For all that, she was tighter than hell, and I gasped as I plunged into the wet folds of her honey-pot. She let out a deep moan and locked her ankles behind me and began a frenzied bucking of her hips. I held myself deeply inside her, letting her do most of the work until she began wailing in short, shuddering gasps. I felt her clench around my cock, and if I hadn't just come myself a short while ago, I would have popped my load right there.

Scotty moved up on the bed, naked and rampant. He had a long, skinny cock that bent like a banana, and he waived it in her face as soon as she stopped moaning a little.

"Get this nice and wet, Charlie. I'm thinking I might see about that taking it up the ass thing."

Her eyes widened, but she obligingly opened her mouth and let him feed it half it's length into her mouth. I pulled her legs apart and thrust them up over my shoulder, and slowly began long-balling her, pulling my tool all the way out to the very knob before plunging it's entire length all the way in.

The sensations were unreal, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep this up long before I shot off. For her part, Charlene was digging it to the point where she couldn't focus on sucking Scottie's dick- she was mostly just laying there with her mouth open while he fucked her face in short little strokes.

I didn't want to come yet, so I pulled out of her and dove down to her muff, laving the big, puffy lips with my tongue. She squirmed against me and I looked up to see that Scottie was positioning himself over her chest, bunching up her boobs for a little tit-fucking. I ate her out till I thought she came a couple more times, and then began licking my way down the inside of her legs to her toes. I worked those over for several minutes before Scottie yelled to switch places.

He took a seat on the edge of the bed and directed Charlene to sit on his lap, facing away. My opportunity was obvious, and I presented my pocket monster to her face. She greedily leaned forward and began licking and stroking it. The critic in me came out again, and I began to rate her technique. She had a wide, generous mouth and had a ton of want-to, but not a whole lot of know-how. I suspected her husband had caught her pretty young, before she learned much about giving head, and since she obviously hadn't gotten a whole lot of practice in, he probably didn't go for that sort of thing. The stupid bastard.

Still, a lot could be said for energy and zeal, and she gamely tried to choke me deep down into her throat, while her hands stroked furiously at the base. I stroked her hair and one ear-lobe, and her eyes came up to meet mine, and I saw a flame of lust there that told me this cold-fish husband of hers wasn't going to be able to hold her much longer.

"I think someone mentioned doggy-style?" Scott said, and in minutes I was again plowing that luscious furrow, this time from behind while she blew Scottie. I was able to find a really nice angle and rhythm, and I kept a slow, steady pace while I watched her work him over.

She was able to handle him much easier than she had me, and she kept to the same pace as I did, while one hand snaked underneath to reach around to his nuts and beyond. When Scottie stiffened I grinned at him- she must have plunged a finger up his ass. He returned the grin and firmly grabbed her hair with both hands, pulling her tightly onto him.

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me." He said. "Make her come again, Jeff. I thought I saw a bottle of lube over by the machine." He backed off of her mouth and began whistling as he walked over to find the lube.

Charlene through a startled look over her shoulder, but I began really laying it to her, and she half-collapsed on the bed with the force of the thrusts. My balls were slapping against her and I felt my own orgasm approaching when she started the half moan/half scream thing again. Her cunt was clutching at me and I felt the fire growing in my balls.

Scottie reached up and grabbed my shoulder, and the sudden shock of a man touching me during intercourse stopped my orgasm cold. "Not yet, hoss. We're going to double-fuck her."

She was almost slack with exhaustion when I laid back and pulled her on top of me. I guided myself into her and pulled her knees up, thrusting that delicious little ass up into the air. I rubbed the globes of that fine little pear-shaped derriere gently, and she suddenly came alive.

"No! I don't like that. Bill says..." She trailed off.

"Fuck Bill.' Scottie said. "He doesn't have the vaguest idea of what how to treat a lady." He was applying the lube liberally to Charlene's asshole. "Now, if you can honestly say you don't want this, I'll stop right now."

I bucked my hips a little, moving inside her, and stroked her cheek gently. I knew she wanted it, and she did too. She was stubborn, though. She didn't say a word, just waggled that ass ever so slightly.

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