Baxy 01

Listen, my peeps, um, not with Hank. Hand likes the ladies, obviously, but Hank has found his comfort zone with me as I am, so, Hank is my, hold please.

"Hank, my bloggers like the way you say it the other way, so, you just said that you like the shorts that I'm wearing, which is different than your normal, so?"

"Oh, oh yeah, I've never been afraid of how you look in shorts, Baxy, so, I mean, is there is a reason why mannequin three and six don't change places, huh?"

Well, concentrate on how he is not afraid of me while wearing shorts. And he has seen the smallest!

[Roll up to a spot on the Strip and park]

"Are you sure you don't want me to hang with you tonight, Baxy? You do attract attention and all, so?"

"It's fine, Hank. I'm supposed to get a few bits of intel from some people before my meeting inside of the Lava Java Coffee Shop anyways. Just come back around for me in about an hour. Want to lip smack goodbye with me, Hank?"

[Smack, smooch, smack.] No mwah.

I mean, once you start smacking lips, it's hard to stop, especially when they casually smack back.

And it got me in the mood to lean up against the corner of the Lava Java Coffee Shop in street worker fashion, which helps draw in the people.

"Alright, everyone is talking, but nobody is saying anything, Baxy, so, I'm asking."

Oh, I mean, my tiny black t-shirt had "Ask Me" written across it in bright silver lettering, so.

"Oh, Nadine, I have little to no information other than your cousin, Hilary, should answer any incoming unknown phone calls over the next few hours, so?"

"Oh, well then, my cousin might need a ride then. I mean, to your place anyways because that's where the magic happens, right? I mean, beforehand and all, right?"

"Oh, well, if a red Whippy Frozen ended up in my hand tonight, I mean, you might want to settle in your mind that an anti-camel toe pad might be best given how mannequin five has been designed, so?"

"Oh, and I suppose this anti-camel toe smoothing pad must be shifted into place up in your whip ass, spoiled ass whip of a spaceship loft bedroom, hmm? And I'm just asking because I'll be your girlfriend for a weekend if you get me into this mythical and legendary Induction party, Baxy! Also, one cold red Whippy Frozen coming up!"

Well, I like them. And the Whippy Frozen Shop is closer than the Frozen Whippy Shop on the Strip.

"Baxy, I'm sexing you up and that's happening soon! Wait, you're supposed to sex me up, so."

I mean, most people start out with hello, right?

"And hello back to you, Buzzsaw, so, tee he, do I look like a hooker leaning up against the corner of the building or do you just like guys who dress and act like girls, hmm?"

"Hey, watch it, Baxy! But tee he, with the way you lean back like that, tee he, I can tell who raised you! Ahem, not that I'm saying anything bad about your Auntie Jeanie (may those who sit at the first table have mercy come judgement day and ignore how she picked up Baxy from school), I mean, kiss the back of her hand for me later, Baxy and do it on one knee!"

Oh, I mean, that was a hint, right? And I'm asking because I really don't have this stuff all figured out.

"Anyways, Baxy, nobody is talking, even though they are all saying something, so, well, I'm asking, so?"

Again, my logo t-shirt, right?

"Buzzsaw, the limit is 40 and you're above that right now. Also, how old are you then, Buzzsaw? The Gate Keeper is looking for a certain age range of studs, I mean, invited guests, so?"

Well, just for the extra invitees. The regulars at the Induction parties are who they are hand-picked by my Auntie Jeanie (may the eyes of judgement weep softy come judgement day because not everyone puts a lock on their bedroom door) is a lonely-hearts club match maker. Or so I've heard.

[A hockey style sliding in complete with body check! To Buzzsaw, not Baxy]

"OMG, eek, Baxy, here's your red Whippy Frozen and eek, I've traded a few texts with Bo Bow Bee and eek, she's going to make a couple of modifications to mannequin five, which means I'm getting my own new design and eek, I mean, you owe her like a gazillion of something now, but listen, listen, I posted the concept and now I'm trending on Chang and oh boy, am I going to up the booty to booty spooning girlfriend experience for you, Baxy Poo! I mean, that is your definition of a girlfriend, right, Baxy Poo?"

Nope! I mean, Baxy Poo. Baxy is just fine.

"(Psst and a mannequin can join us.)"

Baxy Poo, at your service and I'm glad to meet you, my peeps! Tee he.

[An upper 40 something woman swaggers by and enters the Lava Java Coffee Shop]

"Hmph!"

[A lower 30 something woman sways by and enters the Lava Java Coffee Shop]

"Hmm."

[Hmm, maybe 29. No more than 31]

Anyways, my peeps who I haven't met yet, LOL, since you haven't sent me to the curb yet, may I please introduce the Kindler women, my mystery and my party target audience. You see, they are aunt and niece, which is fine, but when you sketch out that family tree thing, I mean, they should not have the same last name, right? And, and, and, Mrs. Kindler's ex hubby is not the brother of Kell Kindler's dad, so, how does that work? Hmm? It doesn't work. I sketched it about a bazillion times.

[The Lava Java Coffee Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

Ahh, my assignment targets! Well, one of them.

[That 40 something woman sitting quietly at a table while enjoying a cup of mud]

Well, I'm not all that good at being stealthy, so

[A bumbling, but cute enough rookie pulls out a chair with all of the squeaks and squeals a chair could make when scooted in and out]

"Hmph! Is there where we swipe our fingers down and across our noses, Baxter? To kick of this stupid secret meeting? In the public of the Lava Java Coffee Shop, by the way, so?"

"I mean, not yet, Mrs. Kindler, since my written instructions clearly state that I'm supposed to address the two Kindler women at the same time. Also, it's just Baxy, okay, Mrs. Kindler?"

"Fine, Baxy. And my niece is in the powder room and will be right out and in the meantime, I'll start this out by saying that I object, it's not going to happen, it's not real, I object, I object some more, I can't you drug my innocent niece into whatever this is and then finally, I object, so, we'll wait for Kelli and trust me, I can't wait to hear what a teenager has to say, so."

"Now, now, Mrs. Kindler, I'm two months from being 21, so, there is no "teen" in my age these days."

"(Sip) great, we're meeting with an old man! Anyways, while we have a minute, whew, boy, am I glad that you didn't look like this back in the day of gaming days!"

Oh, tee he, I always had other clothing on under my warm up suit, but that was then and this is now and I don't hide anything anymore. But it's nice to hear of my developments, right?

"Well, be that as it may, Mrs. Kindler, from my viewpoint, I mean, while we have a moment alone, um, I've been dying for a long time to understand how you and your niece have the same last name, I mean, I've sketched it out and it just doesn't work, so..."

"Baxy, we all make mistakes, so, let's move on! And stop drawing on the back of the dinner placemat!"

I'm telling you, my peeps, it's driving me crazy! Like the estrogen program does, tee he.

"Fine, Mrs. Kindler, but what if I'm dying for a "one boob out over coffee" from you then, while we have a moment alone, hmm? I seem to have developed into a tit person, so?"

"OMG, Baxy, that's not going to happen! And by the way, you're a tit person because my cheer arch rival, your Auntie Jeanie (may hands of justice swing lightly for her come judgement day because I actually learned a lot) raised you! Besides, I'm an old bitty now, not to mention we're sitting in the middle of damn Lava Java Coffee Shop! Also, I may have appreciated how you were the only horny little soul who didn't "accidently" rub against me on those game days, so, that's all."

Well, the nerds sure did like that game day experience! But I never. I mean, maybe I missed out on something, but I usually shaking and sweating in the corner of the basement game cave to do much else. Wait, shaking and sweating from my thoughts of not wanting to stand up to pee anymore and not from friction of any sorts. Which, huh, maybe I missed out on that stuff too.

Anyways, internet influencers, right? If they say it, a lot of people believe it and one such influencer recently posted that leaked sex photos can be tagged for release in only a certain region anywhere around the planet and huh, some people believed that.

[That 29 something woman quietly strolls up to the table after exiting the powder room]

"Well, Baxter, you're looking dangerous these days! For a certain demographic of men! And what did I miss other than popping a boob out over a cup of coffee? I'll catch up!"

[Grip, flop, plop, pop, point, photo snap, photo snap, snap, snap, snap!]

Also, for the record, aha, aha, aha.

"Ahem alright, is this where we swipe down our noses again, Baxy, hmm? And ahem, you can put that away now, Kelli, so?"

"Oh, shush, tee he, it's just us girls, Auntie!"

[MILF frown lines, MILF frown lines, MILF frown lines]

"Oh, tee he and the rest of the Lava Java Coffee Shop, tee."

"(Woo-woo-woo, point it blondie, OMG, I'll take some milk in my coffee, holla!)"

"Hush, boys, I'm putting it away and it's barely of size anyways, so."

[Grip, snap, shift, snap, stuff, snap, snap, adjust, done]

"And Baxy, you be sure to tag the photos you just took of my creamy bare boob as "west coast leaks and reveals" only! I have a pretty decent rep around here in Middleton, so. And, and, and, don't be afraid to use enhancing software since I'm quite average up top, ahem, as everyone just saw."

Influencers, right? Whatever. And I say whatever because come on, people, I'm dwelling on the family tree sketch, but Kelli Kindler must be Mrs. Kindler's daughter and not a true niece, am I right?

[The "still has it" 40 something old bitty grabs the crayon and makes a bazillion messy circles on the back of placemat because Baxy is stupid and won't let it go]

"Shall we move on to the part where we swipe our fingers across our noses and get this over with then, hmm?"

[Huh, I guess so, swipe, swipe, swipe]

"Hear ye, hear ye, the two who hear [refers to a crinkled piece of paper] these words are hereby and therefore and then some, invited to the next Induction party and..."

"Stop, Baxy! There is no such thing, it's a myth and a legend, I object, can I get a refill on my coffee and tee he, can my "one boob out over coffee" be tagged to just one individual? Also, what does tagged mean, hmm? And can tagged mean to only my old cheer arch rival, the queen of living under the radar, yet being filthy rich, your Auntie Jeanie (may the healers wrap her wounds gently come judgement day since wrapping people was one of her strong suits), so, I mean, send it or post it or whatever, Baxy!"

"Ahem, now that we've gotten past "Hear ye, hear ye", I am sworn to post the side-by-side photo on a popular mother and daughter website, hint, hint, hold for reaction, huh, no reaction [post anyways], so, ladies, the next super-secret, yet the ticket to have, Induction party is coming up soon and because of some un-named person named Jacob, who has a crush on Miss Kelli Kindler, there may or may not be an Induction party event planned in honor of Miss Kelli Kindler's pending divorce, so, the two of you are personally invited and a that a certain un-named person named Jacob can't be held responsible that your divorce proceedings have been delayed, Kelli, so, the ceremony is still on, so?"

"Hah! The infamous Induction parties are a myth and a legend and have never been..."

"Shush, auntie, so, Baxy Poo, Jacob Jacobson then, hmm? Also, Baxy Poo, there's a guy in window and I'm pretty sure that he's eyeballing you, but, um, carry on how Jacob Jacobson is crushing on me and doesn't mind displaying his charms for me on a ceremony table, even though my divorce has been delayed, so, go on then, sweetie? Or, and we are talking about Jacob Jacobson, right?"

"Oh, I'm just the mouth runner, Miss Kelli and I'm not authorized to release that information, but that would be him. But be forewarned, the upper heaves of your breasts will be marked with special effects bloody dual "X" marks during the Induction ceremony, so?"

[Holy the wheels are spinning fast snap! "Jacob is handsome, Jacob has cash, I could be Mrs. Jacob!" after my divorce, of course]

"Oh, well then, I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm barely average up top, tee he, as you just captured with your phone camera and "heaving" a luscious breast globe wouldn't be my strong suit in that area, so, um, what's the backup angle because Jacob Jacobson seems like a great backup plan for me, so? Also, do I have enough time to get a decent boob job and then heal up before this mythical Induction party so I can properly "heave" my chest globes for my Inductor red knight, hmm? I mean, the theme of such an Induction party must include things like my new man needs his proper heaving breast globes, tee he, right, Baxy? And a good tit person can appreciate the power of a proper heave aha, aha, aha and..."

"OMG, that's enough! There is no such thing as a..."

[Presents cell phone photos of a mythical Induction party costume mannequins]

[Um, pause the story while the two women study the photos intently. And then some.]

[Um, I'll just refresh my coffee while we wait]

Well, while I have a moment, nope, Kelli Kindler did not marry one the Kindler men. She just went to her maiden name the day she filed for her divorce.

[Finally, the Kindler women break from their day dreaming]

"Ahem, mannequin three is Kelli's and mannequin seven is yours, Mrs. Kindler, so."

"Well, those lifting shelf cup corset bunny leotards will lift just about anything, but I couldn't possibly wear a costume like that at my age, so forget..."

[Oh, there is a backup plan!]

"I steer your watering eyes to mannequin five then, as an old bitty cover up, yet heavily infused with fringe alternative, so? And Kelli, as the chosen red witch inductee, your costume is firm in its design. And it comes with an anti-camel toe pad since the ceremony table leaves little to the imagination and slants at the circle crowd of about 40 members and guests, so?"

"Aha, aha, aha, I mean, what? And I'm a coin slot, so, well, keep the pad. But there are lifting pads somewhere in Bo Bow Bee's work shop, right, Baxy? My next rich husband needs his heave! And my heave needs their fake blood marks! And I've lost where I was going with this! Oh, yeah, OMG, Auntie Millie, mannequin seven is all you! You could totally rock a sheer body suit under a bunny costume like that! Especially in those boots! And obviously, you don't have any issues with popping a boob out, so?"

[Huh, is Kelli reading a text and pushing the outfit on mannequin seven, hmm?]

"Well, it's nice and all and I appreciate that you think that I could totally rock that costume, so, um, I'll think about it. Also [snatches that damn phone], um, go calm that guy down, Baxy while I study these costumes just a little bit more, um, not that I'm changing my old bitty mind! Also, get!"

Well, I haven't yet, but drooling seems to be natural, so, that's on my learning bucket list! And I suppose I should put it right in front of "it's just a banana, so, move your mouth forward" bucket list item, tee he, right?

[The Lava Java Coffee Shop door chime jingle, jangle in reverse]

"OMG, OMG, I mean, I mean, I mean, it's you! And I mean, I mean, I mean, we got off on the wrong foot both times that we met before and I mean, I mean, I mean, both times were absolutely 100% my fault and I mean..."

"Hush, Baxy."

"But, I mean, I mean, I mean, the first time, I mean, I meant to let you know that I've been close to falling off of a cliff before and somehow it came out as me telling you to jump off of a cliff and then I mean, I mean, I mean..."

"Shush, Baxy."

"You shush, Blake and let me finish. Now, where was I, oh, yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, and then the second time we met I meant to ask you about your landscaping business and somehow that came out as me asking you if you manscaped because the tall switchgrass scares the bejesus out of me, let alone the forest and I mean, I mean, huh, that's it, so, hey Blake, are you mad at me, hmm?"

"Don't wear too much under your Induction party robe, Baxy.?

"Wait, what?"

"I'm a Zebra coordinator, Baxy."

"Wait [gulp], what? White & Black or Black & White [gulp]?"

"Black & White, Baxy. You'll find me."

Ah-hah! The Kindler women are sisters! With a birth span between them and for some reason it has been easier for them to live as aunt and niece! So, ah-hah! Maybe?

Oh, sorry, the Black & White Zebra coordinator gets sucked off in the middle of the circle just after the Induction ceremony and the one on their knees has to roll their soft eyes at the camera more than a couple times, but ah-hah, they're birth spanned sisters, right?

"And just so you know, Baxy, we're going all the way at another time and I even look forward to you whimpering on your back and I don't even care that you waggle and flop around while I'm having my way with you!"

Well, I mean, is waggle and flop the same as twang and wiggle?

"But I will apologize that I submitted a name change to the courts so late because apparently, some influencer said that Cleft can have it any way they want it and then apparently, the city of Middleton cut off the authorization of the name changes to Cleft after 50 because they saw huge problems coming. I mean, not huge like Mrs. Bentley, but huge enough, so."

"(Giggles)"

"Tee he, Mrs. Bentley is Jasmine the Gray Witch, isn't she? Not that I'm trying to change the subject or anything, Blake, but, um..."

Well, it's worked in the past, so.

"I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean..."

See? It works every time! But I'll still see him again, so, [gulp]. Besides, it's me, so, Black & White or White & Black, I mean, it would be like me to perform my first on the wrong guy, right?

"Tee he, stop day dreaming and watching your future shake his head and walk away, Baxy. He'll be back. Also, ooh la, la, Baxy, you're trending on Chang because I leaked all of the mannequin photos from your phone! Well, I meant to tag them as "Wyoming only" but I couldn't actually find that special tagging feature, so, whoop, you're hot on Chang now, Baxy. Also, stop thinking about that other subject and live a little. Also, also, tee he, Jasmine the Gray Witch just texted out that you, whoop, whoop, Baxy Poo, get to blood mark my heaves! I mean, I'm not thrilled about sharing that in the middle of a circle of sex starved people, but you, push my heaves up a bit, okay, Baxy?"

"Tee he, because your new man needs his luscious creamy heaves, Kelli?"

"Well, he does need that and if it's going to be recorded, well, whoop, whoop, push them up, Baxy Poo!"

And the assignments keep coming. Cool. Tee he, not that I'll practice that heave pushing on literally all of Bo Bow Bee's mannequin models since they guard my bedroom entrance and all. Tee he.

[Beep, beep]

"Times up, Baxy. Let's get it in gear."

You could set your watch by Hank.

"Um, you're flushed, Baxy. Or you just refreshen your cheeks, so?"

"Oh, both can be true, Hank, so, the alley then, hmm?"

"Wait, what, just what the hell happened at this meeting then, huh? And I'm only asking that as a distraction as I put my sedan in gear, so?"

Well, I get worked up too.

[Slips it into gear and slow rolls away down the Strip]

[Beep! Screech! Squeal! Beep! Screech! Honk!]

[Um, Hank looks both ways first the next time and then slow rolls down the Strip, vroom, vroom]

And if I was going to work it later, than I had better figure out how to work it first. And I asked Hank to auto lock the doors so I couldn't run. Tee he, but I also asked him to keep the engine running in case we got caught out and needed to floor it quick.