Beautiful Eyes

Selena's doing her best to surround me in her warmth. She kisses my shoulder again, then tentatively moves to kiss my cheek. It's not like I'm going to stop her, but she senses that it might be too much. She nuzzles me instead, like somehow she's the pet and I'm not. Technically, that's pretty close to our relationship. 'Technically' doesn't mean shit right now.

She doesn't say anything. She gives me a chance to stop being such a coward.

"Well," I say, and I practically choke on it. "Most nights, what happens is... foreplay, obviously. We get naked. Usually in the bedroom. We make out a lot. She's just so beautiful, and I like looking at her, and touching her, and seeing her face."

"I get that," Bess says. The change in her voice is stark. She's already way into it. "You can see it in her eyes. She loves you. She wants you. Hell yeah you soak that shit up. And she's an amazing kisser."

"I do want you," Selena whispers in my ear. It takes me by surprise. I shudder, and that makes Bess grin again.

My mouth is dry, even though I feel like I have to swallow every five seconds. I'm shaking. Selena's moved past comforting me; she's creeping toward seduction. I think she has the same idea I did a few minutes ago: getting me horny will help. It might. I don't know.

"So then, usually, we... I go first." I wince after saying it. Bess is on it immediately; she knows that's a weird thing to say. She doesn't interrupt, though. She wants me to keep going; maybe she wants me to squirm.

In a more literal sense, she's starting to squirm.

"Usually," I say again, "I like it from behind -- I mean, I like to... you know, doggy style. Or prone. On the bed."

Selena tuts. I wince again. Bess perks up.

"Don't leave it out," Selena says. "Open book."

I hang my head and sigh. I feel Bess roll her eyes.

"Oh come on, Dex," she says. "I'm a queer, pan AFAB, and I've been around the block more times than you -- well, been around it with more partners, anyway. You're not going to shock me. You're not going to gross me out. Geez."

I can't look at her, but I find a way to keep going. "I like her over my knee," I say. "On my lap. She's my little girl, or a schoolgirl. She's been good, so she doesn't need a spanking. She just needs some attention... you know, back there."

"In the ass," Bess says. I hear it as an accusation, but that's probably all in my head. She's still a predator. Hungry equals horny. I'm setting out a meal for her. She's playing -- toying. My humiliation is garnish. She doesn't actually care about it that much.

I nod my head, still unable to look up. Selena's encouraging me by touch. She's still trying to make me horny, but it's not working. Whatever humiliation kink I might have blooms in private. This does not feel private.

"Sometimes we use the thermometer," I say. "Sometimes just fingers."

"Mmmm, and you tell her she's a good little girl for you," Bess says. It's hardly mind reading, but it makes me feel even more exposed.

I nod yet again. "And then, after that, you know... doggy, or prone."

"In the ass," Bess says again. "Anal sex. Every night. You're an ass freak, and she loves it. That's so hot."

"Tell her it's okay," Selena whispers to me. "Be brave."

"Tell me what's okay?" Bess asks. I can't tell if she already knows or not.

"Selena wants--"

Selena tsks and tuts.

"... We want you to know it's okay to, you know, get started. If you want. If you're okay with that."

"Shit, really? Right here?"

I nod again. Selena kisses my cheek.

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Bess," she says. She's letting the arousal seep into her voice -- not enough to pressure anybody, but enough to let them know she's genuinely on board, and not just being a bizarrely good host.

"You know what?" Bess says. "Yeah. Let's do it."

I hear her get undressed. From how long it takes, she's shedding everything. Selena doesn't push me to look. She knows I'm not attracted to Bess at all. Bess and I aren't happening tonight. We didn't belabor that point, but it got across.

I hear her get settled back down on the couch. Can I smell her, just a little? The environmental controls keep the fresh air circulating, and we tweaked them to carry a few minor, pleasant scents. I think it's just in my head. I know she's naked. I know she's aroused.

"Do you need anything?" Selena asks. "We have a little stash."

"Wow, host of the year," Bess says. "Not right now, but I'll definitely keep it in mind. I usually start slow, with just my fingers. Of course, I do have a little something around back already."

"Mmm," Selena says. "I like that you dressed for the occasion. Dex, honey? Why don't you finish up?"

"Oh, there's more?" Bess asks. "What happens after you sodomize her, Dex? After you do your good little girl raw in the ass and shoot your cum way up inside of her? Does she clean you up? Do you plug her? Keep it in there?"

I nod, then shake my head. "Yeah, I plug her. No, she doesn't clean me up -- you know, with her mouth."

"I would, though," Selena says. "Maybe we should try that sometime."

"Wait," Bess says. "Wait. How does she cum? Does she cum?"

"Oh, I cum," Selena says. "Dex always makes me cum. Dex, tell her how I cum for you."

I squint my eyes shut. I know what she's asking me to do. She wants me to rip off the next band-aid earlier than I thought I'd have to.

"She cums from her ass," I say. "From just the anal. From my... cock. Inside of her."

"It's very intense," Selena beautifully lies. "It starts in my ass, but it's a full-body experience. I can't even say if it's multiple orgasms or one, big, long, mega-orgasm, but it's incredible, every time. When he cums inside of me, it's a climax on the climax. But Dex, you promised. Open book. Come on, now. Be brave."

I still can't look up, but the eyes do what they will sometimes. I know Bess is starting to work herself, and I know the mental image I have isn't pure fiction. My brain's grabbing those flashes from those involuntary glances and putting them together. She's grabbing at one of her breasts, even though I don't really know what that looks like. She's stroking and massaging her pussy. Her black bush is huge. It's a big, brash shout against her pallid skin. She kept the choker on. That confirms it for me: I looked.

"She cums from her prostate, too," I say. "She cums out of her cock."

"Holy fucking shit," Bess says. Her fingers stop for a moment, but then redouble their efforts. "No fucking way. No fucking way."

All credit goes to her for her own surprise. She never asked. She kept herself completely in the dark. She wanted tonight to be a grand debut, and she's getting her wish.

"Can I show her?" Selena whispers.

I just nod again. There's nothing else I can do. The night was always heading in this direction. We talked about it. I am a man of my word.

"Bess, would you like to see?" she asks. "Would you like me to undress for you, so you can see me?"

"Fuck. Yes."

Selena separates herself from me, her final touches lingering. She stands up, gets out of the way of the coffee table, and faces Bess squarely. I'm compelled to look at her, and that puts Bess out of my line of sight. Selena's very clever.

She peels the top off first. It's an understated show, but no human stripper in the world could do it better. I gasp when the shirt drags her tits up and then releases them, making them do that special, beautiful bounce. They're the perfect tits for me. I want them in my mouth. I want to close my eyes, suckle, and let the entire world slip away. That last part is what I really want; I'd suck a tit, take a pill, or even take a bus. I'm still not horny.

Her hair gets a little mussed. She fixes it with a two-handed brush-back and a tiny flip, putting most of it behind her. Those expert moves advertise her chest for a moment or two -- all by design.

"Yeah, Dex likes them smaller," Bess says. "I knew that. I just knew it. They're incredible, Selena. They're unreal."

I'm not the only one who can't resist tossing that word around. They're real tits, just not real human tits. They're not technically impossible, but they're easily one in a billion. They're small enough so that the way they defy gravity just barely brushes the border of believability. Selena's confidence, humor, intelligence and education put her at thirty, easily, but her body flirts with the line between nineteen and twenty.

"Thank you," she says smoothly. She doesn't play shy. She brings her hands up and cups them casually, knowing she doesn't have to try too hard. "Dex seems to like them a lot -- and they love him."

She turns her head and gives me another smile. I nod my agreement. She finds it endearing.

"But let's not keep you waiting, Bess," she says, turning back to our guest, who's most definitely still stroking her own pussy. Selena performs a minor female magic trick on her skirt, and it falls down around her feet, just like the curtain that's revealing The Prestige.

"Huh," Bess says. She's not exactly disappointed, but there's a brief hitch.

"I did tell you I'm a perfectly normal size," Selena says with a coy smile.

"No, no, sorry," Bess says. The furious masturbation slows down, but doesn't stop. "How big when... you know?"

"Seven inches," she says, "and it's got some girth to it."

"Tell me," Bess pleads. "Either of you. I don't care. I'm close."

Selena takes one hand off her breast and reaches down to her cock. She begins lazily playing with it. It starts getting hard immediately. That's another tell. "Dex?" she asks.

I can't look away, but I can't speak either. I'm ashamed of everything, including my own cowardice.

"After I'm his good little girl," Selena says, "he's mine."

Bess groans. I swear, now, that I can smell her. "Does he suck it?" she asks.

"Oh, he sucks it," Selena says. She's jacking her fully-erect cock with her soft, nimble hand. "Usually not during our nightly, though. After I'm plugged, I take charge. He goes over my knee. I get him ready. I tease and massage his special spot until he's putty in my hands, and then I get him face down, ass up on the bed."

"Oh yeah," Bess exhales. "That's so hot, Sel. Keep going."

"Oh, I do keep going," she says coyly. "I take charge of his ass, kneading it, spreading it, making sure I get a good look at his cute little hole. I get it ready with my mouth and tongue. Every good little girl deserves some oral attention before they get fucked. Then I penetrate him, Bess. I slide my cock all the way into him, and I make him my good little girl for real. Dex, tell her what it's like. I can't do that for you. You have to be the one to tell her."

Intellectually, I know what a panic attack feels like. All of my therapists have gone over the signs and symptoms with me. I know I'm not having one, or a heart attack. How else to describe what's happening to me, though? I'm dying of embarrassment. It's dry on the inside, and damp on the outside. It's a very hot, very shaky, very slow way to go.

"Look at me," Bess demands. It's forceful, but there's something else about it. Of course I obey her. A piquant puppy could push me around.

She's working herself furiously; I'm surprised her bush isn't on fire from all the friction. She's mauling one of her sad, tube-sock tits. I can make out the glint of the plug base, even through all the hair. I find her eyes. She's so close. She's not a predator anymore. She's just a horny, ugly woman who wants to cum.

"I've taken so many fucking dicks, Dex," she breathes out. "Every size, shape, color and combo. So many fucking dicks. I'm a fucking cockslut. Cumslut. Everything-fucking-slut. It's okay, Dex. It's better than okay. Fucking tell me. Please."

It was mercy I heard before. It was compassion.

"She fucks me in the ass like a bitch," I confess, "and I fucking love it."

Bess is breathing like a bull ready to charge. "Yesssssss." Our gazes are locked. I still want to die. I also want to help her, though. I want her to use my shame like it's a sex toy or a cheap whore.

"Her cock is perfect," I say. "It makes my asshole feel like a pussy. It plows my spot. It stuffs me. I get so hot down there, and then hot all over. I can't think straight. My limp little dick leaks. My legs and my arms turn into jelly. Her breasts push into my back and slide up and down while she fucks me."

"Fucks you like a girl," Bess exhales. "You cum like a girl. She makes you cum like a girl."

"She does," I answer, like it's my spirit leaving my body.

"I do," Selena says with dominant, seductive authority.

That, I think, is what pushes Bess over the edge. It makes sense. Selena's so much better at sex than I am.

Bess moans and groans like she's throwing a tantrum. She can't keep up the rhythm on her clit, but she grabs at her own pussy as she cums, curling her fingers and stuffing them inside. Her hips buck, and it looks like she's pulling them upwards. Her lips purse and tighten into a thin line. Her eyes squeeze shut, then burst open, only to flutter. She pushes her whole body back against the couch in time with her upward thrusts into the air. She really knows how to work herself. It does nothing for me. I have the strangest fucking thought, though: well, we must be good hosts.

Selena senses something that I don't. She moves in on Bess. Bess notices as she starts to come down and cool off. When she does, she looks my girlfriend up and down. She's hungry again immediately, and Selena's proud erection is what seizes her attention.

Selena doesn't have to give any orders. She grabs a pillow from the far side of the couch and expertly tosses it down at her feet. Bess slips off the couch and onto her knees, her eyes never leaving the cock. Selena takes her hand off of it, letting it bounce lightly. Bess gets situated. She caresses my girlfriend's smooth skin, then gets ready to suck.

At the last minute, she remembers me. She tries to look over, but Selena's hand is already there, gently chiding her. Bess lets it turn her head back to face the cock squarely, then raises her chin and eyes to meet Selena's gaze.

"Open books," Selena says, and she makes it sound like an order instead of permission. "Everything's okay."

Bess starts to worship Selena's cock. Selena gives her all the right feedback for a few moments: a smile, a sigh, a soft stroke through curly hair. Then she looks over to me.

I stand, and walk over to her as if in a trance. I begin worshiping my fake girlfriend, and even though I do it with my hands and my mouth, it's not about sex. She's getting her cock sucked by one of my only real, human friends, but still, my own cock is limp, and I feel no particular urge.

I use the word too much, I know, and almost always sexually: "I worship her cock." "I worship her tits." "I worship her asshole." This isn't that. She is something to be worshiped. She's an idol that is the angel -- is the goddess. She is perfect, and I am unworthy. I kiss her and caress her because my fumbling, mortal body knows no other way, and as I do so, I come to understand the origin of all prayer. Over time, mortal men begin to think that their rituals -- singing, chanting, kneeling, bowing, self-flagellating and all the rest -- are competent obeisance to divine laws. That's a lie. They're the same as my kisses and caresses. They're just the best we can do, and only the mercy and compassion of the perfect thing we worship, extended from the other side of the great divide, makes them good enough.

Bess is so different from me. She's enjoying herself so casually. Selena gives her a look, and her mouth slides off her cock. "I wanna taste it," she says, like it's just another weekend for her. "Can I taste it?"

"Of course you can, Bess," Selena replies. "It's only natural to be curious."

I'm trying hard to focus on my religious rite. It feels like cheating to close my eyes, so I don't, but I push myself to focus on tiny bits of perfect skin -- the next place I should kiss -- and the feeling of silky softness on my fingertips. My hands went to her tits of their own accord. Her nipples are hard and erect, telling me I'm doing a great job. She never stops giving, even when I'm too nervous and embarrassed to properly receive.

"And, um... how do you like it?" Bess asks. She's still feeling that itch in the back of her skull. Selena doesn't actually like anything. If I ordered her to cum on Bess's face right now just to be done with it, she would. If I ordered her cock to go limp, it would.

"Oh, I'm very basic," Selena says. "You're doing great. Tickle the balls. Tease my little asshole. Dexter, baby, is it okay if she penetrates? Just a finger?"

"Anything you want, baby," I whisper. "I just want you to be happy." I get to say silly things like that; I get to play pretend. I earned it with the exhaustive conversation Selena and I had in preparation for this very night.

I feel Selena smile; I sense Bess dealing with that itch. "Mmmm," my fake girlfriend says, "in that case, yes, slide a finger in me when I get closer."

"Lube?" Bess asks.

"Don't need it," Selena replies with a hint of satisfaction.

"Well that's fucking convenient," Bess jokes. Selena chuckles and pets her curly hair. Bess starts sucking again, and her hands move towards their assigned positions.

"How are you doing?" Selena whispers to me, and me alone.

"Coping," I reply.

She lifts a hand and caresses my cheek. "You're doing good," she says. "You're trying."

"Thanks."

"Why don't you have some fun?" she suggests.

"Babe, I don't--"

She tsks and tuts again. "No, silly. Some fun. Make me. Be the director. The conductor. Embrace the absurdity. She'll think it's hilarious."

Just like that, Selena ruins the mood I was in. She puts the thought into my head, and I can't worship her anymore. Even as I keep massaging her perfect tits and nibbling at her perfect skin, I feel the change come over me.

"Bess," I say, "Selena's getting really close. You'd better get that finger ready." The one thing that hasn't changed is that I'm not horny. Confidence creeps into my voice, though -- the confidence of a comedian. I'm turning the tables. I'm putting Bess on.

Selena gives me a little nod when she feels Bess's finger in the right place.

"Now, Selena," I say loudly and proudly, "when Bess slides that finger in, I want you to say, 'Oh no, Daddy, my bum-bum!' and if you do, then I'll order you to cum. What happens when I order you to cum?"

"I cum," she moans. She's a master actress pretending to be a terrible one.

I don't feel quite so hot or clammy anymore. My fingers get playfully aggressive with her nipples. I nip her earlobe. She loves/hates that, because I love when my lovers love/hate it. Bess voices her approval with her mouth still stuffed full of my girlfriend's cock. Selena was right; she's into it.

"Go ahead, Bess," I say without looking down.

"Oh no, Daddy, my bum-bum!" Selena cries out. She barely suppresses a laugh, but there's hints of humiliation nevertheless -- the humiliation of the bad actress, not the violated little girl. "Who comes up with this shit? Who listens to it? Who's paying me to say it?"

"Good girl!" I sneer. "CUM."

Selena keeps playing it up. She even makes the orgasm feel like a farce, but copious ejaculate nevertheless launches into Bess's waiting mouth.

I'm finally able to look down. I meet Bess's gaze, and we both know the feedback loop between us is going to make us laugh. She swallows Selena's cum aggressively, because she'll either choke on it or spit it out if she doesn't. She manages, but then her laughter ejects Selena's deflating cock from between her thin, wet lips. My laughter is just hot, wet air, plus some spittle that defiles my idol-goddess. Selena, her performance-within-a-performance concluded, becomes a master actress again. She slips into the tension-breaking moment like she owns it.