Beloved Scars

Passion turned to cuddling, which gave way to napping. I was disoriented when I woke, uncertain what time it was. Bonnie was asleep in my arms, her naked skin pressed to mine. How long had it been since we had last woken up like this? Too long. I didn't want to stir and break the spell, so I laid there and watched her sleep.

Eventually, though, she stirred with a sleepy grin. "Mmmorning, handsome." We kissed again; even this felt like a renewal.

"I don't think it is actually. That's sunset, not sunrise."

"Hmm." Bonnie nuzzled close. "Want to get up or stay here?"

"Both."

"Both? Think you've gotta pick one."

"Stay here for a few minutes, then get some dinner?"

"Such a rebel."

We decided on a reasonably nice restaurant, and Bonnie put on her little black dress and high heels. She and I did each take a quick turn in the shower; my lover pushed me gently out of the bathroom when I tried to join her, asserting—probably correctly—that if I did, we wouldn't leave the house.

At dinner we talked about our usual topics, but there was a new spark. Or perhaps not new; perhaps merely rekindled. Even though we were just talking about our kids or our jobs, there was a playfulness that hadn't been there before. When a lull in the conversation came, it wasn't uncomfortable or empty; it was just a chance to enjoy the silence together.

It was during one of these silences that I saw her expression shift from happy to thoughtful, and then to what seemed an unpleasant realization. "Hon?" A mask went up in the form of a guarded, disingenuous smile. I hadn't seen one of those in hours, and I was unhappy about its return. "What's going on?"

"I just..." She dabbed her eyes. "I figured something out. But I..." The smile felt more real. "I want to think about it a little more, okay? It's not bad. Or, at least, it's not bad now. But I want to... to process, I guess. Is that alright? I promise, I'll explain, once I can." I slowly nodded, and she took my hand. "I love you. Thank you. For everything today." Then she laughed. "I was supposed to get you a present, not the other way around!"

When we got home, the door was barely closed before the little black dress came over her head and her bra joined it on the floor. She hadn't worn panties, and the come fuck me pumps beckoned me to... well, it's right there in the name. "Why are you still dressed, Jeff?" Her hips swayed seductively as she made her way to our bedroom, while I hopped on one foot trying to get out of my damned clothes. It was well worth the struggle, though.

I slept like the dead that night. It had been a rollercoaster day emotionally, starting with a talk I was afraid might have spelled the end of our marriage and ending with a night unlike any I'd had in years. I dreamt of Bonnie and her perfect, pillowy breasts, of her smiling face, of her lips wrapped around my cock, the soft wetness enveloping my—

It wasn't a dream. Light pierced my eyes, but I didn't give a damn. I saw the love of my life laying between my legs, red ringlets swaying as her head bobbed up and down. When she realized I was awake, she let my cock slip out of her mouth for just a moment, kissed it, and said, "Good morning, love."

"Helluva wake up, hon." My hand caressed her cheek, and she closed her eyes and purred.

"I didn't get to do this yesterday, birthday boy. Or Friday." Bonnie sucked the tip of my cock, teasing me with a little pout. "Forgive me?" Then she took me into her mouth again, and further, into her throat. I groaned and clutched the sheets; I loved when she did this, and it had been so long.

But then she pulled off again and said, "Your hands don't belong there, Jeff." Taking them each in turn, my wife placed them on her head, fingers tangling into her hair. "There. Perfect." The words were barely out of her mouth before she had swallowed me to the hilt once more.

It was, as ever, heavenly. Even more than yesterday's, which was the best blowjob I'd gotten from my wife in I couldn't say how long. This was a different animal entirely: aggressive, sloppy, and noisy. A performance worthy of a porn star, there in my bedroom, with my ultimate fantasy woman. When I pulled at her hair, she moaned; I would say it was theatrical, but it felt completely genuine. She was pleased to please me, and that was the biggest turn on of all.

It wasn't long before I was ready to explode. "Bonnie—"

She didn't hesitate, caressing my balls and humming, milking my glans with her throat. She wanted it, wanted the thing that she normally refused me, and she was doing it purely because it would make me happy. I called her name out once more as my balls emptied themselves into her mouth, her throat, her stomach.

Bonnie didn't manage to capture all of my issue; a bit of spend trickled out of the corner of her mouth. But as I released my grip on her hair and my cock slid from her throat, she dabbed at the remaining seed with a fingertip, then licked it clean. A devilish smile lit up her face. "Happy belated birthday, baby. Ready for breakfast?"

Breakfast was light, as was the conversation. Our back and forth felt effortless and charged in a way that it hadn't for a long time, a pleasant mix of affection, flirtation, and genuine interest in what the other had to say, even if it wasn't a topic we had any special interest in. Eventually, there was a lull, much as there had been the night before; this time, though, Bonnie was ready to talk.

"I want to make something clear before we begin: I'm not blaming you, at all, for anything I'm about to say, okay?"

"Uh..."

"I'm serious, Jeff. Some of this may be hard to hear, and some of it may feel like I'm... like I think you did something wrong. And you didn't--" She sighed. "Or at least not as much as I did."

Bonnie took a deep breath, and it all spilled out. "I think this, the distance, started when you had that problem with your medicine."

"My medicine? What... Oh. Oh!" About five years before, the doctor had put me on blood pressure medicine. It had some unexpected and unpleasant side effects, but I didn't connect them with the medicine, because they started slowly and ramped up over a couple of months. Eventually, I realized what was causing it, we switched medicines, and everything was fine; all told, it took maybe six months to get everything straightened out. But in the interim...

She nodded. "Yeah. When you... When we couldn't make love, I got inside my own head. A lot. 'Am I not attractive anymore? Does he still love me? Is there someone else?'" I opened my mouth to speak, and she smiled sadly. "I know there wasn't, hon. I know. You're... God, you're such a good man. I know you'd never cheat. But..." Another sigh. "But that doesn't mean I didn't think about it."

Bonnie swallowed. "Like I said yesterday, I've seen how you look at other women, and I don't begrudge that, especially since you aren't a hypocrite about it; I look, too. But when you couldn't get an erection with me, I just... It hit me in ways I didn't expect. You could still get hard with a little blue pill, so I figured it was about me.

"And even though later you didn't need them anymore, after you got on the new blood pressure meds... I dunno. It was still there in the back of my mind. 'He's only fucking you because you're his wife. He's only staying because he's a good man.'"

"Bonnie--"

"I know! I know it's... Like I said, I'm not blaming you. It was irrational. But ..." Bonnie shook her head. "I didn't feel attractive, so I stopped initiating; I figured that you'd let me know when you wanted me. I still wanted you, but I... That first time you couldn't get hard, it was such a blow to my ego. I didn't even realize how much at the time. But I can see now that I was afraid that... I knew you'd never reject me. But your body might. So it was safer, I think, to just wait for the times I knew you wanted me.

"And then we were running around getting Danny off to college, and with Julie's afterschool activities, and the weekends, and our jobs and then it became easier to just stick to Thursdays. I still enjoyed it. I did, I swear. But it was always... I was always afraid. Afraid that this would be the time when we'd find out the ED wasn't just a symptom of bad medication, but a symptom of..." She smiled sadly as a tear fell. "Of our marriage dying."

"Bonnie, no! I would never--"

"I know that!" She wiped her eyes. "I do. I know that now. And I knew it then, too. But what I felt... I hadn't even realized I felt all of this until..." She took my hand. "Until you made me understand how wrong I was. When you told me all of those things yesterday about loving my body because of all the scars and wrinkles and not in spite of them.

"And before that, even, the way you watched me yesterday, the way your body responded, all of it. You made me feel sexy and beautiful in a way I haven't in a long time." I opened my mouth. "Don't! Don't. You did nothing wrong. I told you that, and I believe it. You kept trying to initiate, and I turned you down. You told me every day that I was beautiful and sexy, and I didn't believe you.

"I didn't tell you how I felt, because I didn't fully understand it, and what I did understand made me feel... Dumb. Dumb for how irrational it was. Angry at being dumb. Afraid... Afraid the little voice was right, that you'd eventually realize what I always knew and leave me for someone else. Younger. Prettier."

"What is it that you 'knew?'"

Bonnie kissed my hand. "That I had the most handsome man in the world for a husband, and that he was sweet and loving and loyal and kind. That he works hard for his family, he takes care of all of us, and he would do anything to make us happy." She laughed. "I don't think guys realize how rare that is. But women do."

"Most handsome man in the world?"

My wife laughed even louder at that. "Of course that's the part you zeroed in on." She kissed my hand again. "Yes. For the same reasons you think I'm so beautiful. But it's true what I said: guys age better than women. Not inherently, but because, like you said, society thinks so. And trust me, babe, you could easily pick up a twenty-five year old sugar baby if you tried." She narrowed her eyes in mock hostility. "I see those wheels spinning, mister."

"You're the one that said it!"

Bonnie stood up and moved around the table to sit in my lap. "Well, I guess I'll just have to distract you, then." She kissed me lovingly, then drew back. "So... Do you have any of those little blue pills left? You might need one today."

I did. We were like teenagers again, spending the day making love and cuddling, taking breaks to eat and nap. There was one distinct difference, though: we owned our own house with a pool and a privacy fence. In the afternoon, she dragged me outside to "swim." There was water involved, and aerobic exercise, but I'd be hard pressed to find anything we did at the Olympics. Maybe in the Olympic Village, but that was about it.

As we snuggled together that night, kissing and caressing each other before we drifted off to sleep, I murmured, "Thank you."

Bonnie nuzzled into my neck and said, "No, thank you. Thank you for... for not giving up on us. For loving me enough to say something."

"Do you still want to go to counseling?"

She was silent for a few moments, then said, "Yeah, I think so. Not because there's anything wrong between us, but to make sure we keep things from going wrong again, you know?"

"Okay." With a yawn, I closed my eyes and said, "Mmm, I wish we could stay like this forever. Goodnight, beautiful." I was asleep before I heard her response.

The next morning was a Monday; I sighed with regret as I got out of the bed and started getting ready. Bonnie was up by the time I was dressed, already in the shower. I stopped in for a kiss, which she granted. But when I tried for a bit more, my wife chuckled, "Go to work, sir! It'll still be here when you get home." A little wink. "Promise."

With a spring in my step and an erection in my pants, I headed to work. We texted back and forth most of the day, something we hadn't done in a long time. It wasn't quite sexting, but Bonnie was clearly trying to keep me aroused. I was pleased, but also amazed; we had been at it all weekend, and she had to be sore. Hell, I was, at least a little bit.

That night, Bonnie was home before me. That was rare; she had a longer commute and, frankly, a more demanding job. When I opened the door, she was there, as naked as the day she was born--except for a pair of heels-- and just out of view of the neighbors. I could smell something delicious cooking, too. She gave me a big kiss while unbuttoning my shirt. "You're breaking the rules, love."

"What?" I helped her undress me; I might have been confused, but I sure as hell wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You told me last night that you wished we could stay like this forever. And I can't promise forever--we're going to have houseguests sometimes--but..." She smiled and bit her lip. "I like being able to look at you, too. And cuddle with you naked. And have--" Bonnie's hand trailed up and down the front of my boxers. "--access when I want. And I did tell you that you could have whatever you wanted this weekend; what you wanted was for it to continue."

"You're going to let me get away with wishing for more wishes?"

Her nose wrinkled as she laughed. "Only if it's what I wish for, too. And I do." Once I was as naked as my wife, she pulled me along to the kitchen. "Now come on; I've made us lasagna. I have a little bit more to do on the sides, but you can sit and rest while I do that."

Taking a seat, I said, "Don't you want some help? You've got to be tired."

Bonnie laughed as she put her apron on and began to tie it, "Not so much. I took a sick day today and went back to bed after you left. I am very well rested, thank you."

"So, what did you do with the rest of your day?"

A wry grin. "Besides teasing you?"

"Yes, besides that."

"Oh, a few things. I got us an appointment with a counselor; I went looking for some of our old toys--" That got my attention. "--and I did a little shopping for some things we were missing."

"Oh? What?" Nonchalant. Cool. That's me.

"A little trip to the grocery store for dinner, of course."

"Ah. Right."

She laughed loudly. "I'm sorry, baby. Were you thinking maybe whips and chains? I'm a bit sore, you know. Someone really wore me out this weekend."

"Okay, fair. I'd say I'm sorry, but..."

That wicked little grin. "Yeah, neither am I. Looking forward to more tonight, actually. You up for that?"

"I thought you were sore."

"Oh, my pussy definitely is." She turned towards the counter and bent over it, ostensibly to reach for something. Her cheeks parted slightly as she stretched, and I saw a glint of metal there, one I recognized but hadn't seen in a long time. "Like I said, though, I went looking for our old toys. And I've had all day to, ah, reacquaint myself with them. You know, to prepare." A coquettish smile as she glanced over her shoulder. "It's been a long time, after all. Care to show me how much you've missed my ass?" An evil chuckle. "Because it's missed you."

Dinner would have to wait.

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Recommendation time! If you liked this story, go check out Mya Watches by the very excellent Djmac1031. It's also about a middle-aged married couple reconnecting through... well, you'll see. It's very sweet and very sexy. And If you like his writing, check out The White Room and its sequel.

I'll have more recs for you soon, but I wanted to let y'all know that I've published my first story on Smashwords, too! It's a "repost" of sorts, but more new romances set in the same superhero universe will be coming soon. Check the "Support this author" link up above and favorite my author page for notifications!