Bent, Not Broken

Author's Note: I've had the idea for this one for months before I started writing, and I originally envisioned something shorter. When I outlined it, I noticed that it would have to be a longer work to do it proper justice. This story comes in at just over 52K words with a lot of heat in the middle. I had originally thought to put it in the First Time category but seeing as the romance really defines the story, I ultimately chose to put it there. Enjoy!

*****

"Here you go, man. 136 Midland St, right?"

Kyle Patterson snapped out of his reverie, not realizing that the cab had stopped in front of his childhood home. It was a hot, muggy day in the second week of August, and the heat was already so oppressive that he found his shirt sticking to his back. He hazarded a glance over to the house he'd grown up in, finding it both a familiar and strange sight at the same time.

"Yeah, this is it. How much do I owe you?"

"$15.65," said the driver while reaching his hand behind him. Kyle grabbed some money from his pocket and deposited it in the man's hand. Finding the total all there plus tip, he popped the trunk so Kyle could grab his belongings. Two small duffel bags contained his entire life for the past five years, and Kyle couldn't help but notice how small they seemed on the sidewalk. Placing a strap over each shoulder, he stepped up to the front door.

Not much had changed at the house since he'd left. He was glad to see his dad finally gave her a fresh paint job so the house didn't look so dated anymore. Even with the new exterior look, the deck still creaked at just the right spot, and his mother's flowers still struggled to grow, a fact he always chalked up to a lack of a green thumb on her part. It hadn't been home in a long time but it was for now. At least, it had to be.

Before his hand even touched the door, it swung open erratically, and his mother's face appeared with a look of joyous excitement.

"There's my baby!" his mother squealed, wrapping him up in a hug that only a mother could give. "I'm so glad you're home!"

Kyle clung onto her tightly as a stream of happy tears cascaded down her face. It had felt like ages since he'd seen her last. Of course to her, he'd always be her baby as the youngest child. Even if he was all of twenty-three now with a whole lot of battle experience behind him.

She pulled away and really looked at him. "You have no idea how happy I am to see your face again."

Kyle saw the deeper meaning behind her words. There had been one too many close calls in the last five years. Incidents and fights that might have prevented the reunion with his family. She knew it too, the implied meaning hiding behind the spoken words.

Kyle managed a brief smile and a nod. "Glad to see you too, mom," he said quietly before she shuffled him into the house. As soon as he was inside, the familiar smell of the house hit him immediately. Kyle swore that every house had its own distinct aroma, sometimes good but often bad, yet the house brought back a flood of memories. The smell was just another reminder he was home.

"There's my guy," said his father, looking up from the television set and quickly rushing to his feet. "How's my ex-marine doing now?"

Kyle managed a chuckle. "It's former marine, dad. Don't you know you never say ex-marine?"

His father could only grin. "I learn something new everyday. So how's myformer marine doing?"

"Not too bad. Glad to be home," said Kyle before looking around. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the honest truth either. The house seemed a lot emptier than he remembered it. Of course, it was only his parents living there now. Both of his older brothers were long since out of the house, even if they were still there before he left to join the marines.

Grabbing his duffel bags, he walked up the stairs to his room, finding the white, wooden door closed. Jiggling the knob, he stepped into what felt like a time capsule. His bed was just the way he left it, slightly disheveled in a way that would never pass inspection now. The football ribbons and trophies hung off the wall, a reminder of his time in high school and days long since past—a gateway into his life before enlisting in the Marine Corps at the tender age of eighteen.

At the time, it had seemed like the right thing to do. At that point in his life, he was in the best shape he'd ever been, thanks to football. Not to mention, he had no idea what to do after school. College didn't seem quite his style. He had trouble staying interested in his high school work so signing up for another four years sounded like a form of torture. In comparison, the chance to play hero and see exotic places around the globe intrigued him. He was probably the easiest sell the recruiter ever had, but it meant that while his high school friends were preparing to move into dorm rooms, he was in boot camp.

Once he was in, it opened up a different world for him. For a guy who'd barely ever left his own county, suddenly he was all over the place. Japan, Iraq, Afghanistan just to name a few. Destinations that he'd only read about in newspapers before. He spent the most amount of time in Afghanistan, over two tours' worth, finding that was enough for a lifetime.

Even when he wasn't patrolling the middle of nowhere, Afghanistan, Kyle learned to rely on his friends. All of them—Leroy, Smitty, Urkel, Garza, Newman, K-Top—members of his platoon. Most of them were just as lost as he was when they signed up at a young age. Yet there was something about combat that had a way of maturing them, molding them into the men they were meant to be. At least, that was what the brochure had said. For Kyle, he felt not quite right after enough time serving. Like there was something missing. The feeling really exacerbated when Garza got blown to bits by a Taliban mortar.

There were other casualties as well. They lost Smitty to enemy fire and Newman to a sniper. Kyle learned quickly to shield his emotions as the best protection against losing a friend in such an environment. In doing so, it buried the loss far below into his core, where he couldn't dwell on it or let it prevent him from completing a mission. But as his core of friends dropped one by one, he found pieces of who he was dying with them.

It was still a dangerous time in that part of the world, despite the nightly news long since having moved off that godforsaken country. But just because there was no coverage of their firefights, it didn't mean the body count didn't still rack up day by day. Kyle eventually had enough, and when he was asked to reenlist again, he answered with two middle fingers. He was tired of watching friends die.

Stepping back into civilian life was almost like another deployment for him. It's a different feeling to know that people aren't trying to kill you from the moment you wake up in the morning, and it takes a while to adjust back into normal life. There were still things that made him jump. He particularly hated garbage day. There was something about the loud trash vehicles that made his heart race. He'd been warned in advance that the fourth of July would be tough too, but thankfully he had almost a full year before he had to experience that.

Kyle sat down against his bed after grabbing a picture from the wall. It was a picture of his homecoming game from senior year, when they had crushed Dayton 52-10. He stared back at the youthful, more innocent version of himself. Part of him wondered what that kid would say to him now. He also wondered what he would say to him in return? Don't enlist and watch your friends die. Don't leave pieces of yourself in Afghanistan. All of that was better said than done.

There was a subtle knock at the door as his father stepped in. "You doing all right, Kyle? You seem a little quiet since you got home."

Kyle put the picture down on his desk quickly. "Yeah, I'm doing okay, I guess. It's just different being back home. I'm still adjusting to all of it."

"Your mother and I couldn't be happier that you're here again. Some of your calls from over there worried us to pieces," his father admitted. "I'm glad it's all behind us now."

Kyle nodded quietly without saying anything.

"So do you have any idea what you want to do now? Any plans for a job or maybe go see a girlfriend for a bit?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't really thought much about it," said Kyle with honesty. "No girlfriend in sight. Not much on the job prospect front either. I guess I'm a little lost."In more ways than one.

His father put a comforting hand against his back. "You don't have to figure out everything right away. Take some time to enjoy yourself. Relax a little. I'm sure the last five years weren't easy, and getting back into normal life will take some getting used to. Don't put pressure on yourself, and just take it one day at a time."

Kyle started to nod. "I should start looking for jobs though. I will need something to do. After all, I can't exactly live in my childhood bedroom forever."

His father grinned. "Do it on your own time though. When you're ready. And if you need some help, let me know. I have a lot of connections that could use the help of a veteran. If you need help lining up a job interview, just let me know. Do you have any interests in that matter? Any idea where you might want me to start?"

Kyle took a deep breath and then shrugged. "I don't know. I'm still trying to get used to not being a marine."

His father nodded. "Take your time. We're glad to have you home, son."

Kyle nodded his head, finding no response appropriate enough to say out loud. He could see the unspoken words lined up on his father's lips. The nervousness and the worry about the person who'd just returned home. Kyle didn't have to wonder if his father sensed the change in him—his apprehensive gaze already confirmed it silently.

"You should take time to see some of your friends as well," his father started as he walked back to the door. "I'm sure they'd be happy to see you. It has been a long time."

"Yeah, maybe. I wonder who'd even still be here right now. I bet a bunch of them have moved away," said Kyle.

"Some probably have but I bet others haven't. Your mother said she ran into Leslie Butler at the grocery store. I guess Ryan is back for the summer before he goes off to school. I bet he'd like to see you again."

Ryan Butler had been his best friend back in high school. They had both played on the same football team together. Ryan was a big kid even back then, over two-hundred fifty pounds of pure muscle. He made opposing quarterbacks sweat just by looking at them.

"Maybe I'll give him a call," said Kyle dismissively. He hadn't talked to Ryan since he left. He wasn't sure he'd be good company for conversation even if Ryan wanted to see him.

His father gave him one more smile as he tapped the door frame. Before he knew it, he was already gone. As he slipped the duffel bags off the bed, Kyle laid down on it and stared up at the ceiling. He'd heard returning back to civilian life was a tough adjustment. The marines had provided so much structure to his life that he wasn't sure what to do now that he was truly out. The prospect of having unlimited time in front of him was slightly scary.

What the hell am I going to do now?

*****

Kyle had the nagging suspicion that his old friend was "nudged" to reach out to him. It was late in the afternoon that day when his phone started buzzing with a familiar number. Seeing Ryan's name light up on the screen, Kyle decided to answer it.

"Ryan, how are you man?"

"Well, if it isn't the king in the north himself. Finally back home after the longest time!"

Kyle started to chuckle. That old personal joke went all the way back to high school, back whenGame of Thrones was still running on television. Kyle's pale complexion and dark, black hair with just the right amount of curl at the tips made him resemble the actor who played Robb Stark. It was a joke that picked up in the locker room after a game and just stuck.

"Not so much king in the north with this marine haircut," said Kyle. "Those curls are long since gone."

"And yet you'll always be the king to me. How've you been? I heard you just got back into town."

"I take it your mom told you about it? I heard my mom ran into yours."

Ryan laughed. "Nothing gets by you."

"Not anymore at least. I'm not too bad, I guess. Just surviving," said Kyle quietly.

"Just surviving? That sounds terrible. When did you get back?"

"It was only just this morning. I spent all yesterday flying so it still hasn't hit me yet."

"I can understand that. I bet it's good to be home though, right?"

Kyle waited a moment before responding.Was it good to be home? "In a way, it is. Although I have no idea what to do with myself now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I really should start looking for a job now. You know, join the workforce," said Kyle. "It might be a little hard. I think I might scare people off if I list my main skill as killing people."

Surprisingly, Ryan started to laugh. "You should still do that. Or just bring it up during the interview. Might make for some funny reactions."

"I'm trying to get a job, not reactions," said Kyle with a chuckle.

"Still though! It might be funny." There was a moment of silence when Kyle didn't know how to respond. Ryan kept going though. "So what was it like over there? I mean, what was it really like?"

It took Kyle a minute to collect his thoughts. It was the question he always dreaded to hear and one he didn't know how to answer. There were a lot of people who treated him like he was now different for having been there. That he was some kind of war hero. That he should be thanked for his service. Kyle always found that a little ironic, especially given some of the missions. Much of what he had to do made him feel the opposite of a hero. Most of it he didn't want to talk about it again. A good portion he wasn't evenallowed to talk about. He wished he could forget all of it, a five year long nightmare that he'd only just woken from.

"You still there, man?" asked Ryan after a moment.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about it. That's all. It was a crazy time."

"I'm sure you have a lot of stories to tell. You've probably been all over."

Kyle took a deep breath. "Yeah, it's been a ride. One that I'm glad it's over."

Ryan seemed to finally sense it was a road that Kyle didn't want to go down. Thankfully, he changed the subject right after. "Well, listen, we have to catch up while we're both in town. I head back to State in a couple weeks so I won't be around for much longer."

"Back to State? I thought you would've graduated already?"

Ryan chuckled. "I did. This is for my masters. In business too. Just wanting to try to get all this knowledge so I can start my own business someday."

"Cool, when you do, you can hire me," said Kyle.

"It's a deal. But are you free to hang tomorrow? I'm not working my summer job tomorrow so I'll be around the house all day."

"Eh, tomorrow?" Kyle pursed his lips. It was one thing to catch up over the phone, but another to go hang out during the day. Part of him wondered if he was up to it. If he would even be good company.

Thankfully, Ryan must have sensed it from him already, and he was determined to railroad it. "Come on, man. I haven't seen you in years. Come on over and hang for a little bit."

"I don't know, Ry. I really should start looking for a job."

"So shoot out a few resumes in the morning and then come chill in the afternoon. I tell you what, I'll even make sure Annoying Amy stays away."

Kyle started laughing right away at a nickname he hadn't heard in years. Annoying Amy was Ryan's little sister. When they were in school, she always wanted to tag along no matter what they were doing. Football? Great, she wanted to be their cheerleader. Biking in the woods? No problem, she'd put her doll in the basket of her own bike. Swimming? Count her in, she wants to jump off the diving board nonstop.

She was always underfoot so much that she earned the nickname Annoying Amy. Of course, it wasn't said to her face. She was too sensitive, and the one time it slipped out of Ryan's mouth when they were young, she left in tears. Yet it was a secret code between them, a private joke over the way she never left them alone.

At one point, Ryan swore it was because she had a crush on Kyle. Yet, she was never on his radar. For one, she was four years younger than him and when you're in high school, four years might as well be four decades. And if anyone so personally defined awkward teenage years, it was Amy Butler. Glasses, braces, long, lanky arms that didn't match the rest of her, poor Amy wasn't on anyone's radar. It was probably for that reason that they let her tag along—too ashamed to turn her down and hurt her feelings.

"I almost forgot all about Amy," said Kyle finally. "How's she been?"

"Oh, you know, as bratty as ever," said Ryan. "She's already got a year of college under her belt though. Can you believe it?"

"A year already? No, I can't. Time flies," said Kyle.

"It sure does. All the more reason for you to come over tomorrow. No more excuses man. Come hang out for a few hours and let's catch up. If not, I'll come over to your house and show you why some quarterbacks still flinch at hearing my name."

Kyle smirked at that one. "You know, the Marines have been good for me too. I've put on some more muscle since you last saw me. You might be surprised when you see me."

"Good. That way, I won't feel so bad when I level you," bragged Ryan.

"Fine, I'll come over. I can tell you'll be a pain in the ass until I say yes anyway."

"You know I will. Okay, cool. Just text me when you're on your way over, okay?"

"For sure. See you then, Ry," said Kyle.

He ended the call and tossed his phone back on his desk. So he was hanging out with Ryan tomorrow. It had been such a long time since he'd ever thought about his old friend, let alone looked at the prospect of hanging out with him. But maybe then again, some socialization would be good for him. Hopefully it could do a little more to bring him out of his funk.

At least, he hoped it could.

*****

"There he is! The king in the north!" Ryan opened the door with an excited yell and reached out to wrap a hand around Kyle's back.

Kyle just shook his head. "Not with this hair. Although I think I might grow it out again." He ran his fingers through the prickly tips on his scalp.

"It might take some time until you get those curls back. Come on in. I'm glad you came over," said Ryan as he gestured him inside. "I thought I'd have to go over there and drag your ass to the house."

Kyle followed his friend inside to the living room, taking a seat on one side of a large sectional couch that had seen better days. Ryan took the other, spreading out to get comfortable right away. In all the years since he'd last seen his friend, Ryan wasn't as big as he remembered. Perhaps it was because they were no longer playing football and actively working out like they used to, but he almost seemed narrower, smaller than before. They were now quite a match in size even if Ryan dominated him back in high school.

"I can't believe it's been five years!" started Ryan while he slapped his leg. "It feels like only yesterday we were crushing through that regional championship game against Ellsworth."

Kyle smiled at the memory. "That was a good game, wasn't it? I remember you lighting up that quarterback so bad that we all thought he had a concussion."

"In my defense, he missed out on the cardinal rule—don't stand on the tracks when the train is coming through!"

Kyle chuckled to himself. Ryan hadn't changed much in the last few years. He was still the same cocky but fun guy, the type of friend that everyone has at least one of in their lives. It was a familiar feeling to be near him again, and a comforting one at that.