Best of Days

'You're kidding,' I said.

Taylor shook his head. 'No. I told you he was serious, and he was. He wants to book our flights.'

'I, uh...' I was literally speechless. 'I...'

'When are you on holidays?' Taylor repeated.

I numbly told him the dates. All I could think was 'holy fuck, this isn't really happening'. Seldon had obviously stuck to his word, which meant that it was now up to me. I was going to be paying off these flights with my body. Oh fuck no, I thought to myself. What have I done? What in fuck's fucking name have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Seldon had the flights booked before the final box was packed into the moving van. I was dumbstruck when Taylor came home proudly waving the sheafs of paper, and embarrassed by what I'd just implicitly agreed to. Taylor was oblivious to my lack of excitement and chatted excitedly during the trip to Booval about all the things Seldon had promised to do with him.

Once we arrived at our new house, though, my excitement at finally being in my own home overrode the fear I felt about our upcoming holiday and it wasn't until the following Wednesday when I again remembered what I'd agreed to. Seldon had sent me a text to ask if we wanted a lift to the airport, and suddenly it all came rushing back to me.

There's no way to adequately describe the following eight days. While everyone else was preparing for Christmas, I was one minute terrified, the next embarrassed, the next angry, and - humiliating as this is to admit - also increasingly excited. The prospect of both a holiday, irrespective of the price I was paying for it, was quite nice.

Two days before we were due to leave, I took Taylor to his father's house so he could spend some time with his relatives. Nothing says 'I'm guilty about taking your child away over the Christmas holidays' quite like making two five hour round trips, rather than just doing my usual trick of putting Taylor on the bus to Toowoomba and having Roy drive in and collect him from the bus terminal.

On the journey out to the middle of nowhere, I thought about Seldon. He'd rung me last night to make some arrangements and had seemed very matter-of-fact and pleasant. I'd begun to think that perhaps he didn't see the offer as sleazy. Maybe for him it was just a fact of life, a calculated transaction where both of us got something desirable as our reward.

I was still thinking about Seldon when we arrived at Roy and Melissa's house. I don't hate Roy. I don't even dislike him. He loves Taylor to bits, and Taylor just worships the ground his father walks on. Weird, I know, because thirteen year old boys aren't normally that fond of their parents, but Taylor and his father are close.

Roy invited me in to say hello to everyone, and I accepted his invitation, grateful to have a break before commencing the trip back to Brisbane.

'How's your new house?' Roy asked.

'Oh, it's good,' I replied. 'How are Melissa and the kids?'

'Great, they're all great. Mel got sick a while back, but she still managed to take care of everything. I just feel useless; I try to help her, but she always seems to have everything under control.'

'Her house is always spotless,' I agreed. 'Sometimes I think people like her exist to make the rest of us look like shitty housekeepers.'

Mel overheard the comment and said something about the house being trashed ninety-nine percent of the time, but I doubted it. She was one of those competent mothers and housekeepers. It was aided by the fact that all of her kids slept through from two weeks old, but with five kids in the house all day, every day, she was still doing an incredible job of keeping on top of everything. I'd go nuts trying to keep five kids clothed, clean and fed, and a house tidy.

'I heard you're going to Cairns,' she said.

'Um, yes,' I replied.

'That's so exciting,' she said. 'If you don't mind me asking, is the guy you're going with, ah...' She looked around, to ensure there were no children listening. 'Is he your boyfriend?'

'No,' I confessed. 'Not exactly.'

'Not exactly?' Roy was amused. 'Are you still pretending that men never have feelings, Kristy?'

'He's not my boyfriend,' I corrected. 'Just a friend.'

If by 'friend' you meant 'man who wants to have sex with me', but the last thing I wanted was Roy and Mel knowing I'd agreed to fuck a man in exchange for a few flights and a week and a bit's accommodation.

Mel and Roy exchanged pointed, private glances. I could just tell they thought I was lying to them, and that Seldon and I were lovers.

'He's just a friend,' I repeated. 'What are you guys up to over Christmas?'

We chatted about Christmas as Mel made me a cup of coffee and got out some of the biscuits she'd made with the kids. It was a pleasant enough conversation. Their eldest child came up and talked to me for a bit, because she and I have always had a good relationship, and before I knew it, an hour had passed.

'Shit, I need to get out of your hair,' I apologised, standing up. 'Sorry. I'll pick Taylor up tomorrow night.'

'It's not a problem,' Roy said. 'Have a safe trip back to Brisbane.'

I said good-bye to Taylor and went out to my car. It was as I was strapping myself in that I realised I should have asked to use the bathroom. I hadn't peed in a couple of hours and that, plus the cup of coffee I'd drunk, made my bladder feel unpleasantly full.

I'd have to stop in Toowoomba, the nearest regional town. If I could hold on forty minutes - which I could - I could use a public bathroom.

I drove to a suburban shopping mall in Toowoomba, parked, and hot-footed it to the bathroom. There's nothing quite like finally going to the toilet when you've been holding on for a while, and I felt significantly better as I walked back into the shopping centre.

On the way out to the car park I passed a Big W and thought I should probably go in and try and find myself some togs. My current pair were on their way out and I'd no doubt be doing a lot of swimming in Cairns. I wasn't just going to be having sex with Seldon, was I? I was also going to be enjoying myself.

Big W didn't have any nice togs, but they did have some surprisingly cute underwear. I normally don't bother with anything fancier than Kmart brand cotton knickers and plain underwire bras, but maybe I should make an effort for Seldon. It would make me feel more confident about myself and all that jazz.

Before I knew it, I had a cute white set, a rather sexy black set, and a blue lace set. I paid for them before I had the chance to change my mind, then hurried out of the store.

Shit was starting to feel very, very real.

~~~~~~~~~

Seldon picked us up bright and early on Christmas Day to take us to the airport. It was eight o'clock in the morning and while other people were celebrating with their families, I was about to go on holidays with a man who not only wanted to fuck me, but was prepared to pay for it.

'Merry Christmas,' he said. 'Love your new house. This has got to be so much better than your old flat.'

'Merry Christmas to you, too, and you're right on the money about it being an improvement,' I said. My legs were shaking, but I'd told myself to put on a brave face. Seldon would want a happy, cheerful woman for his money, wouldn't he? 'Did you get any good presents?'

'My family does Kris Kringle, and apparently my present is waiting at Mum and Dad's house,' Seldon told me. 'Just a heads up that Mum and Dad will be at the house tonight. They're not leaving until tomorrow morning. I thought they were heading out Christmas Eve, but apparently they're not going until Boxing Day. I hope that's not a problem?'

'No, no, no problem,' I replied.

'Hey, uh, I was wondering if you could not tell them about the flights?' he asked. 'I'd rather they didn't know I paid for them.'

That makes two of us, I thought.

'Sure,' I replied. 'I'll let Taylor know.'

'Thanks.' He shot me a grateful smile. 'You two ready to go?'

'Absolutely,' I said. 'I'll go and get Taylor. I think he's on the phone to his grandfather.'

It didn't take us long to load up Seldon's van and commence our trip to Brisbane airport. Being Christmas Day, the roads were dead quiet and we made quick progress towards our destination.

Taylor had only arrived home from his father's house the night before and told Seldon all about his father, stepmother, five half-siblings, and the rest of his extended family. Roy comes from a huge family of equally simple, largely pleasant people. A couple are farmers, and Taylor had spent Sunday morning attending a fundamentalist church service, and the afternoon helping backpackers pack lettuce.

It wasn't an unusual way for him to spend his time at his Dad's house. I'm not religious, but I've never had any issues with those who are, and I didn't mind Taylor being offered work on someone's farm. It was a win-win situation for everyone involved; the farmer gets cheap, unskilled labour and Taylor gets some extra pocket money. They never work him too hard; he's their relative after all, and not some random backpacker from way off lands, but they don't let him slack off, either.

One of Taylor's teachers freaked out so much about him helping at his Uncle's farm that she rang me and asked me in for an interview. She felt undue pressure was being put on Taylor's developing body and perhaps we should reassess our budget if we couldn't make ends meet without his wage.

I'm not sure how she managed to reach the conclusion that Taylor was being worked to the bone to help put food on the table from a comment Taylor apparently made about 'working on the farm to buy a new game'. I just sat there in shock as she prattled on, wondering why I'd ever thought Roy was intellectually lacking because this idiot teacher was making him look like Einstein.

Seldon laughed when I told him the story.

'Crazy,' he said. 'I worked at my friend's parent's takeaway at Taylor's age, and at another friend's family's sugarcane farm. All cash in hand work, of course, but everyone knew we were doing it.'

'Rich white people,' I explained. 'They occupy a whole other realm of reality. Apparently letting Taylor work as a labourer is letting him know that it's okay to be a labourer.'

'I thought it was?' Seldon asked.

'We're supposed to aim for loftier things in life,' I replied.

'Oh, that old 'if you're not in an office wearing a suit and tie, you're a failure' chestnut,' he said. 'I remember believing that.'

We arrived at the airport, parked, and checked in our baggage. We had over an hour to kill, so we went to the food court for coffee while we waited. To an outsider, we probably looked like a blended family; mum, son and stepfather. It almost seemed that way to me at that point in time, too. There was nothing sleazy about Seldon. He wasn't getting touchy feely or making any hints about what he wanted. It was all just boringly normal.

I kept staring at Seldon as he drank his coffee. He was in board shorts, a tee and thongs, but his hair was freshly washed and he'd shaved this morning. He had several tattoos on his arms and there was one on his inner left arm in cursive script that I'd put an incredible amount of effort into deciphering several years ago. I always try and read people's tattoos. The one on his arm read 'the best of days aren't over yet'. The way it was positioned it was almost as if it were a mantra or daily reminder that he could read to himself.

Taylor went to the bathroom, and when he was out of earshot, Seldon asked if he could ask me a weird question.

'Sure,' I replied nervously, assuming he was going to talk about what he wanted out of this trip.

'I got Taylor a present. I wasn't sure if that was okay. I don't want to be the weird paedo who buys someone's kid a gift, but...' he trailed off and shrugged. 'My Mum also got him a present.'

'Oh,' I laughed, relieved. 'Um, you shouldn't have, but it's not a problem. Taylor got you a present. Nothing fancy, but he wanted to get you something. Should we also get your parents a gift?'

'No, no, they don't need a present.' Seldon seemed as relieved as I was. 'It's just, he's still a kid, isn't he?'

'Yeah, and he's not a super mature thirteen year old.'

'He's a good kid.'

'He is,' I agreed. 'Everyone says that. He has his father's personality. Very placid.'

'Does he look like his Dad? He doesn't really look much like you, does he?'

I laughed. 'No, he doesn't look much like his Dad at all. He looks a bit like his paternal grandfather, but God knows where the rest of it came from. Roy and I used to joke that he must've had an affair with another woman and I went home with her baby, and she went home with mine.'

Seldon smiled, showing a mouthful of crowded but very white teeth.

'How long were you with his father?' he asked.

'Oh, for about six weeks before he was conceived, and for just after two years after he was born. All up, just over three years.'

'Six weeks?'

'Yeah,' I admitted, embarrassed. 'Condom accident.'

'Whoops.'

'Definitely whoops.'

'You must've been young when you had him,' Seldon remarked. 'How old were you?'

'I'd turned twenty-one three weeks before he was born. His father turned nineteen a week later.'

'You and his Dad obviously still get on well enough together, though, don't you?' he asked.

'Oh yeah. No point fighting with someone if you don't need to. It only makes everything unpleasant. I think I ignore Roy's failings, but I'm guessing he thinks the same thing about me, too.'

'Did you ever think about trying to find a new partner?'

'Um, kind of,' I said. 'It's hard to have a relationship when almost all of your adult life has involved raising a child, while guys my own age have been off partying and doing whatever they want.'

Seldon stared at me thoughtfully.

'Can I ask a rude and invasive question?' he asked.

'I guess so,' I replied carefully. 'What is it?'

'If you could rewind the clock and never meet his father, and never conceive Taylor, would you do it?'

'No.'

'No?' He was surprised.

'No. I'm perfectly happy with my life. I like my job, I like my house, I love my son. Who's to say not having a child would have made me any happier?'

'Fair enough,' he said. 'I wasn't meaning to intrude. I was just curious.'

'What about you?' I asked. 'Are there things in your life that you'd go back and change?'

'Sure are, but I'm not as confident as you. I can't talk about my mistakes.'

I wondered if perhaps he regretted not taking another career path, or breaking up with a girlfriend he loved over something silly, but knew better than to ask. Besides, Taylor was coming back to the table, and it was approaching the time for us to make our way to the boarding gate.

Flying is a boring business at the best of times. I spent the two hour journey reading my book, while Taylor had a nap and Seldon did God knows what - he was sitting at the back of the plane, whereas Taylor and I were at the front, so I had no idea how he passed his time.

We were collected at Cairns airport by his Mum. She was in her mid-sixties but extremely fit and healthy and full of life. She was darkly tanned with sun-lightened hair, and she was wearing a kaftan and sandals. After wishing us all a Merry Christmas, hugging her son, and taking us out to her Hilux, she wasted no time giving Seldon a ton of motherly grief.

I tease Taylor on occasion, but not to the degree that Seldon's Mum teased him. She spared no mercy whatsoever, and Seldon just gave it straight back to her. I couldn't help laughing at their banter. She and her son were obviously extremely close, and I found myself wondering how he'd explained my and Taylor's presence. From the way she acted around me, it was as if she thought I was Seldon's girlfriend.

We arrived at the family house just after two thirty. It was a big four bedroom besser block house on a large block half a kilometre from the beach. There was a lot of room to spread out, and it was pleasant and comfortable, without being the kind of home where you're worried about making a mess or knocking anything over.

'Seldon, how about you go and say hello to your Dad, while I show Kristy and Taylor their rooms?' his Mum suggested.

'I can show them around,' Seldon said.

'No, no, you go see your father,' she argued.

I got the impression she wanted to see me alone, and Seldon obviously interpreted her words the same way, because he shrugged and went off to see his Dad.

Seldon's mum led us down the hallway.

'Taylor, this is your room,' she said. 'You want to put your bags away?'

'Sure,' Taylor agreed.

'And this is yours, Kristy,' she said, leading me a few metres down the hallway. 'Unless you'd like to...' she paused, to see if Tayor was listening. He wasn't. 'Unless you want to share with Seldon?'

'Um,' I replied, not sure how to proceed. I glanced at Taylor who had put his bags away in record time. 'Maybe I should sleep on my own. Is that okay?'

'Absolutely,' she replied. She gave me a confidential smile. 'I understand. Seldon's father has a child from a previous relationship. It's always tricky when kids are involved.'

I put my bags away.

The rest of the day was lovely. Seldon's sister and brother-in-law came over with their kids, as did his other, single, sister and his half-brother and his family. The weather was hot and the day was clear, and we ate a cold Christmas dinner by the side of the pool.

Everyone was warm and welcoming, and I know that was in part due to the fact that they thought I was Seldon's girlfriend. Every so often Seldon would pull me aside and apologise, but I just waved it away. I know that he genuinely hadn't realised that his family would still be around when he went up North. One of his sisters had teased him about that, too, and the way he'd blushed had told me that not only hadn't he known, but that he had a habit of only half paying attention when his family were talking to him.

I went to bed that night feeling happy and relaxed.

~~~~~~~~

Seldon's parents left for Adelaide the following day.

Seldon, Taylor and I went for a swim at the beach in the morning, before heading back to his parent's house for lunch. It was as we were eating that I realised Seldon was staring at me in a distinctly sexual way. Oh fuck. His parents were gone, weren't they? It was just he, Taylor and me. Tonight was definitely going to be the first night he called for payment.

Taylor was exhausted from a hectic few days and spent the afternoon watching a movie. I thought I might burn off some of my nerves by going for a walk, but remembered the heat - it was hard to remember how hot it was when you were inside, in air conditioning - and asked Seldon if I could go for a swim in his parent's pool.

'Just treat the house like your own,' he said. 'Do whatever you want.'

'Okay,' I replied. I turned to Taylor. 'If you need me, I'll be outside.'

'I'm thirteen, Mum,' he reminded me, his eyes glued to the screen. Seldon's parents had Netflix and Taylor had embraced it with open arms. 'You can go to another part of the house without telling me, you know.'

Point taken.

I went outside, put on a fresh layer of sunscreen, then slid into the water. I swam a dozen laps before being utterly exhausted. Swimming is truly one of those sports that looks easy until you try it yourself, and suddenly you're back in primary school struggling to breathe as you attempt to master freestyle.

I swam over to the edge of the pool and saw Seldon heading outside. He hadn't changed out of his boardshorts since arriving home, but he'd tucked a towel around his waist so he wouldn't leave wet patches everywhere he sat down.

The towel he had around his waist wasn't a beach towel, but a regular bath towel. You couldn't see his boardshorts; it looked simply as if he'd stepped out of the bath and put a towel around his waist. I can't quite explain why, but the plain white towel made his bare chest and legs seem almost indecent. It was as if he were showing me a side of him that he would normally only show a lover.