Betrayal

I was pretty much spent as well. I rolled off her and stared at the ceiling, wondering what just happened. The hot sex was a short respite from my troubles but the blackness quickly returned. I tucked Brianna into bed and poured myself another drink. And then another... until the pain went away.

* * *

I woke up with a horrible headache. The sun was streaming in through the open window. I looked around. All of the trash was cleared and Brianna's bed was made. She was gone, but her bag was still on the bed. I rubbed my throbbing temples. There was still a half of a pint sitting on the dresser. I took a swig and swished it around in my mouth like mouthwash and swallowed. It was disgusting, but I didn't care.

I searched around for a cigarette. I told myself that I had to quit, but I told myself that same thing every day. I found a crushed pack with two cigarettes left and stepped out into the walkway outside my unit, leaned on the rusted metal railing, and lit up. I took a big drag and felt that satisfying surge of nicotine. It was probably past ten. There was bright sunshine, and it was already getting oppressively humid. It was going to be another scorcher.

I thought about the previous night with Brianna. The sex was fantastic, but I didn't know whose life was fucked up worst. We were both in contention. I felt the urge again to help her... protect her. It was both a blessing and a curse. I saved Addie from her abusive husband [ed. note -- see Cold Steel], but I also got into my fair share of trouble from sticking my nose in where it wasn't wanted. I wasn't sure how I wanted to deal with Brianna.

Right on cue, I looked below and saw her walking across the parking lot with two coffees in a cardboard tray and carrying a white paper bag. She saw me leaning on the railing and waved. I waved back. She came up the stairs and handed me one of the coffees.

"Black? All cops take it black."

"I do." I took a sip. It was still hot and it was strong. Just what I needed.

"Donuts in the bag. Got you a chocolate old fashioned. You looked like a chocolate girl to me."

"Right on both counts," I confirmed. I broke off a crispy edge and downed it with a coffee chaser. Cops like donuts, but it's for a good reason. Sinfully delicious.

"What are you up to today?" I asked.

"Oh... out and about. Jimmy wants me out there by one. Customers start coming around then."

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah... he's my... uh... manager."

"Right. You mean your pimp."

"That another word for it."

"I hafta borrow your bathroom for a minute. Is that OK?"

I told myself she'd just shoot up someplace else. I nodded. She went into my unit and closed the door behind her. I stayed outside and worked on my donut and coffee. She came back a few minutes later. Her eyes were fighting the bright sunlight.

"Mind if we go back inside?" she asked. Her pupils were dilated.

"Sure."

We sat on her bed.

"Got someplace to stay tonight?" I asked.

"I'll figure something out."

The wheels in my head were turning. The good angel won again. "You can stay here for another night if you need to."

"Really?"

"Yeah... just till you find someplace permanent."

She got up and pulled the drapes shut. "I want to fuck you now Max."

I still felt grungy. Hadn't had a shower or even washed my face. But her invitation was tempting. I was still glowing from the previous night. I didn't have anything better to do.

"Let me freshen up."

"OK. I'll wait."

I took off my clothes and shuffled into the shower. The hot spray revitalized me. I washed my hair and took my time drying it. I grimaced when I looked in the mirror. The drinking was making me look ten years older.

Brianna had already pulled down the covers and had taken off her clothes. She was a beautiful as I remembered (and maybe more so since I wasn't drunk). I got on the bed nude and sat next to her. She casually fondled my breast.

"It's my turn Max. You were fantastic last night."

She dipped down and licked my nipple. I purred.

She sat up again. "You made me cum last night. You know... with what I do... it's hard for me to cum. You know that?" Her eyes were soft and dreamy.

I kissed her. That was my answer.

She ravaged my breasts. Her lips and tongue were everywhere and I closed my eyes to feel everything. I took a deep breath and let her flow across my body -- licking my armpits, sucking on my fingers and then delving into my sex, now weeping for her. She may have been only twenty, but had the experience of many more years. Light touches with her tongue on my pussy lips and clit, just to say hello. Each touch elicited a short breath or a sigh. I arched my back, hoping for more friction with her tongue, but she backed away just enough to tease me. As I relaxed, she attacked again, this time with more urgency, sucking on each lip as if it were a piece of ripe fruit.

She remembered my interest in anal play and instead of using her finger, she used her hands to push back my raised legs to give her clear access to my nether hole, more sensitive than my pussy. She traced a circle around the rim with the tip of her tongue.

"God yes... fuck me," I urged her.

She opened my asshole by spreading the cheeks of my ass with her hands. Her tongue followed, spearing the center and sending me into a frenzy of words.

"Ohh... yes... fuck me... Brianna..."

She tongue fucked me and rubbed my pussy at the same time, sending me to delirious orgasm. I was barely awake and now my head was exploding with pleasure. I pounded the wall with my fist.

"Shittttt..." I exclaimed as another orgasm ripped through me. Brianna knew how to make love to a woman.

She let me settle. Every few seconds my body would tremble. She cradled my head in her hands. "It's better than H for me... sex with you," she confessed in a soft voice. I thought it was sweet but I knew it wasn't true. I could see that she was already craving it again.

I tried to leave her shit behind and enjoy the moment. One of the few good ones in as long as I could remember. I drew a deep breath.

"I really like you Brianna."

She cocked her head sideways as if she was questioning her hearing. I imagine she hadn't heard many kind words and was suspicious of all of them.

"I really like you too Max."

"I want to help you."

"I know you do."

"This Jimmy guy... do you have a picture of him?"

"Max... we're not going there, are we?"

"I..."

"Max... I have to make a living. I dropped out of high school and I already have two misdemeanor convictions for solicitation. I think my options are limited."

I didn't have a ready rejoinder. She spoke the truth.

"Why don't we just live for each day Max. Today's started out to be a good day." She put my hand on her pussy. She was soaking wet.

"I think we have some unfinished business." She pushed me against the headboard and kissed me.

* * *

It was getting close to one, and Brianna had showered and changed into her work clothes. I helped her with her make-up. It was fucked up, but it was her life and I wasn't in a position to tell her what to do. She finished brushing her hair as a last touch and stood up on her platform heels. I was standing right behind her.

"Max... I... uh... have one more thing to do."

She wanted me to go away. If we were going to share this space, it might as well be out in the open.

"You can do it in the room if you want to."

She nodded and sat on the bed. I watched her prepare the solution and then draw it into the syringe. She pulled a length of rubbing tubing from her bag.

"Want to try it?" she asked me. I looked into her eyes. They were hollow. It scared me.

"No... no thanks." I couldn't stand needles, let alone the thought of becoming prisoner to the syringe.

She applied the tourniquet and then pumped the liquid slow death into her vein. Her head fell back and she eased herself against the headboard.

"Brianna?"

"Ummmm?"

She was in dreamland. It could wait.

* * *

I don't know what possessed me, but after Brianna left I decided to follow her. I showered and dressed and got into my car and drove towards the convenience store. I stopped short and could see Brianna and her two friends yukking it up in the parking lot, though now in broad daylight. I saw a black SUV pull up into the parking lot and block two of the cars. A man in basketball warm-ups got out. I took a picture with my phone. I could see him chatting with the girls, and then I watched the girls get into the car. He drove away.

I expanded the picture I took, and the image was grainy but I recognized her pimp immediately. Jamida "Jimmy" Jenkins. I'd had run ins with him before when I had this beat. He was a small timer. Usually three or four girls. He'd get them hooked on heroin and beat the shit out of them every once in a while. I arrested him twice, but somehow his case never made it to the D.A.'s office. It bugged the shit out of me, but there wasn't anything I could do. Back on the street without a scratch. Someday I'd nail that fucker.

I was out of vodka but something inside me said that on this day I'd take a pass. Instead, I drove to the corner where Jimmy usually hung out. I waited for about an hour until he finally showed up. I drove past him, and saw that he was leaning into the window of an expensive looking BMW. Brianna was behind him. He opened the front passenger door and Brianna got in. He stepped back and leaned against the wall of the corner building as the car drove away.

I parked a half block away and walked towards Jimmy. I wasn't wearing my uniform and he didn't recognize me at first. I was wearing jeans and a Bearcats t-shirt.

"Hey..." he said to me, but then his voice trailed off when he recognized me.

"You plainclothes now?" he asked, still leaning against the building. He took a cigarette out of a pack and put it in his mouth.

"No Jimmy. I'm not on duty now."

"What's you doing here?"

"Just checking in with you."

"Fo' what?"

"Just want to let you know I'm back in the West End. This is my turf now."

"That some kind of warning?"

"If you want to take it that way."

"Fuck you." He took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and spit. It landed on the tip of my shoe.

I was about the same height as Jimmy, but in much better shape. I lifted him up by the front of his collar so he was standing on his toes.

"Look fuckhead. You can take it any way you want. You be nice to your customers and your girls and I'm not going to be in your grill. But if you fuck up..."

I reached behind him and pulled out the gun he kept in his waistband of his pants. I gave his a sharp, quick rap on the head with the butt end of the gun.

"Hey... that hurt," he said as he rubbed his head.

"Don't fuck up Jimmy." I handed him his gun.

"Motherfucker," he muttered under his breath, giving me a dirty look as I walked away.

* * *

Brianna came back at two a.m. She had a wad of cash stuffed into her tube top. She kicked her shoes off and fell backwards on the bed. I was still awake. I hadn't had a drink that day. Something told me that I should quit. When it's time, it's time.

"Jimmy said you paid him a visit."

"That so?"

"He doesn't like you."

"The feeling's mutual."

"I'm worried Max. I'm afraid he's going to beat the shit out of me. I saw him put one of his other girls in the hospital."

"I'm not going to let that happen."

"How?"

"I think he got the message today."

"Does he know I'm staying with you?"

"Your name never came up."

She seemed relieved. "Guess he was just bitching in general."

"Guess so."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Brianna spoke up. "Wanna fuck Max?"

I did. I was having a hard time not thinking about her. "Why don't you take a shower first?" I had sloppy seconds already.

She padded into the bathroom in her bare feet. I heard the water running. I thought a drink would be a good idea now, but I decided earlier not to buy any. There was still the half bottle of Maker's...

Brianna had cleared away all the used cups. I pulled the cork out of the Maker's and tilted the bottle against my lips. I felt the liquid hit my lips and then I put the bottle back down. I let my tongue lick my lips. I recorked the bottle. Maybe I had the guts to stop drinking.

Brianna came back into the room with a towel wrapped around her body. Her short blonde hair was still wet and clumped together. She'd removed her make-up. She let the towel drop to the floor. She was naturally beautiful.

We sat in bed next to each other, both naked.

She unwrapped her kit. It killed me to see her get her fix ready. She pulled the rubber tubing tight and flicked her vein. There was still enough of one to accept the needle.

"Hold me Max."

She cuddled up next to me. I had my arm around her. I watched her push the needle inside her, and then pull back the plunger, and then push in again. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped against me.

She fell asleep and I held her in my arms until morning.

* * *

Even though I hadn't slept, I still felt better because I hadn't had a drink. I knew I'd crash, and then there'd be the hallucinations, sweating and vomiting, so I decided to enjoy the moment of clarity and sober up and get back to work. I was useless in my motel room and dirtbags like Jimmy would be running the city without the likes of cops like me.

I've done it before, and its not pretty. It was good to be holed up in a fleabag hotel. No one's going to complain when you're vomiting at 3 a.m. I did my laundry so I'd at least have clean clothes for a while, and stocked up on microwavable food and lots of bottled water.

I was watching a Reds game when my hands started shaking. I knew it was starting. I had a headache and was sweating. The a/c was already maxed out. I went through a few hours of discomfort when there was a knock on the door. I peeked around the curtain and saw it was Lanny.

"Lanny," I said in a raspy voice.

"Max... you drying out?" He'd seen me go through this once before.

"Yeah... I'm no good to anyone in this motel."

"Except maybe the liquor store." He chuckled.

"I'll bet I helped them make their sales goal."

"No doubt," said Lanny. He was holding two grocery bags. "Got some food for you and also dinner from Nicky's." He started pulling white boxes of food from one of the bags. "You got your veal parmigiana that you love... and lots of garlic bread." He reached in the bag again. "Also paper plates and silverware. Nicky sends her love."

I was touched. I was feeling like shit, but the food smelled good. I hadn't had a decent meal in at least a week. The smell of garlic was all around me. Lanny handed me a loaded plate. I sat down and started to eat it. Lanny heaped food onto his plate and sat on the other bed so he was facing me.

"Nicky makes good veal parm," he observed. "Maybe I should order it instead of the cheeseburger."

"I've been telling you that, but you never believed me."

"Well... I'm a believer now." He took another big bite followed by a swig of cold beer from a six pack he brought. It was tempting.

"I don't know if you want to talk shop," he started.

I interrupted him mid-sentence. "Is it about Jumbo?"

"You got it. We have possession of the championship ring he was presented with when his team won the 5A football title. It was confiscated as part of a drug seizure. He's got all the money he's ever going to need but I know he misses that ring."

Lanny was already half-finished with his plate of food. I'd been eating continuously and it didn't look like I touched my plate.

"So what's the plan?" I asked him between bites of the garlic bread.

Lanny started on his second beer. "I don't know, but I can guess. My guess is that they're going to use it as bait to lure him to a drug deal. Usually he has his lieutenants take care of the dirty work but I'm sure he'll show up in person if he can get that ring back."

"Any word on who did Rachel?"

"Nothing boss. Not a peep. No one's saying nothing."

That was unusual for an officer involved fatality. Someone was covering this up.

"Eyes and ears Lanny."

Lanny threw his empty plate into the wastebasket. "You got it boss."

* * *

The night was a bastard. Didn't sleep. My sheets were soaked. I felt nauseous. I'm not sure what time it was when I heard a knock on the door.

I opened it and Nicky pushed herself in.

"Rise and shine Max." She had breakfast in her carry bag.

"I feel like shit Nicky."

She went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth. She put the cool compress against my forehead.

"We'll get through this Max."

"I don't know what I'd do without you Nicky." She had a heart of gold.

"You know Max. The diner's not the same without you there. Lanny looks lost."

I started shaking again. I told Nicky I wanted to go back to bed.

She noticed the bed I'd been sleeping in had wet sheets. She opened up the other bed.

"Let's get you a shower. I'll help you. I've got toast, eggs and bacon for you. It'll keep for a bit. Maybe when you wake up you can microwave the eggs and bacon." She helped me to the bathroom and started taking off my pajamas.

I grasped her hand. She was one of the few true friends in my life. "I love you Nicky."

She turned on the faucet in the tub and had her hand under the running water. "I love you too Max. We're going to get you better."

The world needs more Nickys.

* * *

It was four days of hell. Lanny and Nicky made a couple stopovers each, and on the fifth day I finally felt like I was getting my legs underneath me, no different than a newborn filly. I was munching on some day old toast when I heard the doorknob rattle.

"Max!"

I recognized the voice. I dropped my toast on the table and opened the door.

Brianna slipped in and closed the door behind her. She was breathing hard. She turned around and turned the latch for the deadbolt.

"I think Jimmy's after me."

"Why?"

"Jimmy thinks I shortchanged him."

"Did you?"

"Well... maybe..."

I knew all too well that a junkie's going to prioritize their habit in favor of personal safety. I was sure Jimmy was going to beat the crap out of her. I wasn't sure what I could do in my weakened condition.

"For fuck's sake Brianna. Jimmy can't let you cheat him. He's got to make an example out of you for the other girls. You know that."

"I know, I know Max," she sniffled. "I fucked up."

"You did."

Her breathing slowed. "Max, you got anything to eat?"

I gave her a couple pieces of my day old toast and a container of instant noodles that I was about to eat.

"You go ahead. I don't feel that hungry."

She looked at me with innocent eyes and then proceeded to devour the scant offering. I watched her eat until she slurped the last bit of the noodle soup.

"Thanks Max."

"When's the last time you ate?" She looked strung out and gaunt.

"I dunno... maybe a couple days ago?"

"Jesus Brianna. You're going to kill yourself."

"Should I care?"

I stopped for a moment. I felt sad that she asked that question.

"Of course you should Brianna. I'm going to pull myself out of this shit and you can too. You're still so young."

"I don't like myself. What I've become."

"I can help you Brianna."

She dropped her bag on the floor. "Make love to me Max."

She pulled her top over her head and threw it on the floor. Her smallish breasts were perfect cones, topped with bright pink nipples. Suddenly everything else was forgotten. Nicky and Lanny nourished my body. Brianna nourished my soul.

"Brianna," I whispered before I captured one of her nipples in my mouth. I put my hand on the other.

"Ummm," she purred. "That's nice Max."

My hand went to her crotch. She had already pushed her pants down to her ankles. She wasn't wearing panties. She was wet.