Better Off Dead

"Possibly, but I think that we should explore all lines of enquiry here before we think of traipsing off to sunny Mexico. Now, next item on the agenda, if I am to take you to some Ritzy restaurant for dinner, you may need to change, and possibly freshen up a little, I have my pride you know, and I don't want to be seen squiring a young lady, pretty as you are, who has the appearance of just stepping off a Greyhound from LA, so where are you staying?"

"I haven't checked in anywhere yet."

"So you're not staying with your mother then?"

"Hell no. Much as I like my mother, one of the reasons that I went to an interstate college was to get away from her. She's fine in small doses, very small doses. I thought that, seeing as we're working together, you would put me up at your place."

"That's out of the question, aside from the moral issue of having a young girl staying in my apartment, there's the fact that you're my client's daughter, what would she say to that arrangement?"

"She doesn't need to know."

"What if she asks?"

"I'll tell her that I'm staying at the 'Y'."

I'll give Lucy this, for a pushy broad she's fun to be with. We went to my apartment and I waited while she did what she had to do in the bathroom and then I hit the shower. I was just lathering up the important bits when I heard her come into the bathroom. "Sorry but I forgot something." I could see her take a quick look at me before turning away and leaving the room. One part of me was feeling disturbed again while another part was hoping that she was impressed with what she saw. I'm going to have to stop having these thoughts.

After her primping she looked stupendous and out of the league of the bar and grill I was going to take her to, so I had to change my plans quickly and call a restaurant that owed me a favor and make a reservation. She was no slouch when it came to eating, she reached across the table and took a couple of fries from my plate, stuffing them into her mouth like she was sucking a . . . I'm really going to have to stop having these thoughts.

"Tell me about your ex-partner, did he really run off with your wife?"

"Yeah, they apparently had been lovers for some time. While I was out detecting he was in my wife. They're now getting everything that they deserve, their business isn't as profitable as they had hoped."

"Is that why you told Lieutenant Callaway that he was mixed up in Dad's disappearance?"

"Partly, It gave me great pleasure thinking about him squirming while the cops tore his car apart. I hope that they found something."

"Do you speak to your ex?"

"As little as possible, just enough to make her feel guilty. Let's change the subject, you're in college Right?"

"Yeah, Mother insisted that I should get an education so that I didn't end up working in some sleazy bar like she did."

"So how is it going?"

"Good, I'm ahead on my course assignments and my grades are good too."

"I bet that you have lots of friends."

"No, not really. I spend most of my time studying so I don't have time for friends."

"No boyfriends then?"

"No, I have had the odd one or two, not at the same time of course, I'm not that sort of girl."

"What about lovers? You're not going to tell me that you're still a virgin are you?"

"No, I'm not still a virgin and you can blame one of my professors for that. He convinced me that I needed extra tuition, unfortunately for me he seemed to have forgotten that I wasn't studying reproductive biology. It didn't last long after I caught him with another student."

We talked about this and that while we ate our food and drank our wine. It was quite late when we arrived back at my apartment. I gave her my bed and made up the fold-up bunk for myself. I was just drifting off to sleep, having thoughts that I shouldn't have been having, when I heard her come into the room. She slipped into my bed, I know this because there's barely enough room for one, and snuggled against me. "Are you asleep?" So I pretended to be asleep. Then her hand reached around me and she grabbed my stiff cock. "You've been having naughty thoughts about me haven't you?"

"What? No, never, I don't have those kinds of thoughts."

"Bullshit, you're just like every man I've known."

"Listen to the vastly experienced girl, how many men have you known, I presume you mean in the biblical sense, thousands?"

"I'm not that kind of girl." They way that she was stroking him suggested otherwise. I rolled over to face her. If I thought that she was beautiful fully clothed, she was even more beautiful fully unclothed. I just had to touch her, my hands just had to cup her breasts and my fingers just had to go to work on her nipples. She was moaning softly and her hand was working wonders on my ego. I was king of the hill, cock of the roost, all of those things, and I was in danger of a premature end to this pleasure. She had other ideas and she was going to drag out the pleasure, so she stopped what she was doing and, opening her legs, she fed him into her waiting body. She must have read the Karma Sutra or something because she was able to hold me in a state of almost climax for simply hours, or at least it felt that way. She could become addictive. When she eventually relented and allowed me to reach my climax it was like heaven for me.

"Can I get some sleep now?" She had headed to the bathroom to clean up before returning to drag me out of bed and back to my own bed.

"Isn't this more comfortable?"

"Yeah, and much more dangerous."

"I don't feel in any danger, do you?"

"Only of falling in love with you."

"Are you really falling in love with me?"

"I think so, Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, not to me. Mom might have a problem with that because I think that she fancies you."

"Please tell me that we're not here because of some sort of rivalry between you and your mother?"

Chapter 4

Today was the first time in I don't know how long that breakfast was anything more than coffee and Camels, it was Lucy, coffee and Camels and it put me in a good mood for the day ahead, a mood that wasn't about to last.

My office door used to be a half-glass door with a sign on it that read 'Pretty Goode Detective Agency' on the glass half. It used to have the Goode covered by a piece of paper. The one failing of half-glass doors is that if the glass is broken, as it is now, one has only to reach through the former glass panel to unlock the door. Once inside it wasn't hard to access the filing cabinets, as long as you have a large jimmy bar, which someone had, and rifle the files searching for something, which someone had done.

If they were looking for my file on Andy Jones then they were out of luck because, what with one thing or another, I hadn't yet begun to write up my notes. "Well that takes care of today's activities." I stood in the mess trying to decide where to begin.

"You get the coffee while I make a start." Lucy said as she began picking up papers off the floor and stacking them on the desk ready to be sorted into the proper files. I was glad to get out of there even for a couple of minutes because filing was very low down on my list of priorities.

"Did you see Mister Goode?" Maurie asked as he poured the coffee. "He stopped by looking for you. He didn't look very happy at all."

"No I didn't see him but he left his calling card, I must catch up with him and soon." I paid for today's coffee as well as last week's, the track winnings have certainly come in handy. My mind was turning over this latest development when my path up the stairs was blocked by, you guessed it, Nigel and behind him I could make out the diminutive form of Benny and the struggling form of Lucy.

"Before you decide to be a hero Mister Pretty you should cast your eye on Miss Jones' side." I cast and saw a small silver plated hand gun.

"What do you want Benny?"

"I want to be brought up to date with your enquiries, it would appear that you have been somewhat remiss in your report writing."

"Is that why your tame gumshoe was ransacking my office?"

"Yes, I sent him to check your progress with you but he found nothing."

"That's because there was nothing to find, I'm no further on with my investigation than I was the last time we spoke. Now would you be so kind as to unhand the young lady."

"Very well, but I must warn you again that if you don't appraise me of your findings I will be forced to harm this lovely thing, or better yet let Nigel have his way with her." He sounded as if he spent his spare time reading Mr. Webster's dictionary.

As I stepped to one side to allow the large Nigel to pass me he took a swing at me. His telegraph was working much better than his swing and I was able to avoid colliding with his massive fist. Because he missed me it threw him off-balance and when I shoved my foot across his path he fell, tumbling down the stairs and crashing against the wall of the landing loosening lumps of wall plaster that crashed onto his head giving him a bad case of dandruff.

"Most impressive Mister Pretty, I trust that you will not attempt the same maneuver with me, otherwise my finger might just tighten on this trigger with unfortunate consequences for Miss Jones and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

"And I trust that you will not contemplate harming the future Mrs. Pretty or I might just get a little peeved, if you get my drift."

"I think we understand each other Mister Pretty."

"I hope so and while we are in this cooperative frame of mind, would you pass a message onto my former partner for me, would you tell him that the next time he even thinks about trashing my office I'll do more than have the police demolish his car."

"I'll pass on your message although he is still angry with you." He shoved the gun into the inside pocket of his snappy coat and walked down the stairs, stepping over the still prone form of Nigel. "Come Nigel, I don't pay you to lie around all day." Nigel grumbled to his feet and ambled after his boss.

"What do you mean the future Mrs. Pretty?" Lucy was having a hard time hiding her disgust as she sipped her coffee. I didn't know whether her disgust was for my statement or the coffee.

"Do mean to tell me that you're not thrilled at the prospect of life with yours truly?"

"I didn't say that, it's just that this is so sudden, you've given me no time to think about whether I want this or not."

"How much more time do you need, my patience isn't inexhaustible you know."

"I need a couple of days to think this through. Oh don't worry it isn't you that I'm worried about, it's your lifestyle and the people that you meet and, it appears, offend on a regular basis." She came and sat on my desk again, with her stocking clad legs dangerously close to my hand. The filing and detecting can wait.

I stopped by the bar to update Laura Lee on my progress or lack thereof. To keep up appearances Lucy had left the office earlier than I did and was serving behind the bar. "Look after things for me Lucy, I need to talk to Gerry."

"Sure thing Ma." She gave me a wink from behind her mother's back.

We went into the storeroom out back that served as her office. "Lucy tells me that you've upset some people."

"If you mean Benny, it goes with the job, I shove and he shoves back. No-one is really hurt and He feeds me tit-bits and I feed him some as well. I have fun with his goon Nigel and at the moment I think I'm 2 for 1."

"I don't want you getting yourself hurt or worse still dead because of Andy, he's not worth it. Do you know anything new?"

"Things are slowly falling in to some sort of shape. I actually suspect that he may still be alive and holed up somewhere, he may even be contemplating some sort of insurance scam."

"What sort of scam, he doesn't have insurance, at least none that I know of."

"I'll run some checks with the insurance companies tomorrow but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I discovered a policy."

"How are you and Lucy getting along? She's not making a nuisance of herself is she?"

"Far from it, she's been a great help."

"I caught the way that she's been looking at you, I think that she's falling for you and I need to warn you to be careful. I had to ship her interstate to college because she was attracting attention from the wrong kind of guys, rough types, and I want more for her than I ever got." She had that look in her eyes that told me that, while she loved Lucy, she regretted falling pregnant and having to marry so very young.

"Don't worry, I think that I can handle her."

"Don't say I didn't warn you. I'd better be getting back, can you make sure that she gets back to the 'Y' okay?"

There was something strange going on here, either one or both of them have been lying to me. Lucy told me that she had chosen an interstate college to get away from her mother while Laura Lee had just told me that she had shipped Lucy off to get her away from the attention of the local low-life.

Tomorrow I will have to ditch Lucy for a while because there was something that I had to check on and I don't want her around while I do, but for now I have to make sure she gets back to the 'Y', ha ha.

While the night with Lucy was very enjoyable and I was caught deeper and deeper by her sexual attraction, I managed to convince her that I had to drag myself away from her for a couple of hours while I undertook some tedious leg-work. I peeled a couple of notes from my roll, handed them to her and told her to see a movie or go shopping or something and that I'd see her for lunch at the bar and grill on the next block from the office.

I wasn't kidding when I told her that it was dull and boring, I spent the best part of two hours traipsing around town spinning yarns to insurance companies about trying to trace one of their clients so that I could forward a large sum of money to him. When I tracked down his policy the clerk was most obliging and turned his back while I made a note of Andy's address. If he saw me writing further details he didn't show it. I thank him for his kindness and left. This was getting more interesting by the minute, there was a recent change of address noted along with account details.

Using the clerk's name, I rang Andy's bank telling the clerk that answered that I was enquiring about a notice that the company had received that there were insufficient funds to cover his previous premium payments and could they rectify this problem. "Oh, I don't see how that could be possible sir, Mister Jones' account has more than enough money to meet any premium deductions."

"Wait a minute, I'm sorry, it wasn't Mister Jones' policy that hadn't received payment, it was his daughter Lucy."

"That is equally strange, her account has a considerable amount in it, while I can't divulge the amount I can assure you that it is a very healthy balance,"

"Thank you for your assistance, I'll have to go back through our fund transfer procedures and find out where the problem lies, it must be with our system."

Now I was beginning to work out what the scams were that they were pulling. Firstly there was the one involving Benny the Bookie. Here he was running around the city like Shylock looking for his pound of flesh while Andy, if he owed anything at all, had more than enough to cover his losses. Could it be possible that Andy had been far too successful of late with his race selections and Benny owed him money and saw the way out would be to eliminate Andy. Could Andy have perfected a betting system that could beat the bookies? Could it be that knowledge of the existence of such a system would have all the bookies running scared and desperate to stop it spreading and they were all spreading the word that he owed them money to cover up the opposite? If this was the case then Andy was a marked man.

Then there was the insurance scam. If he had been reported missing and the word around the traps was that he owed the bookies a lot of money, then a John Doe corpse that fitted his general description, preferable without a head full of teeth, could be passed off as Andy and his insurance policies would be paid out to the beneficiaries and they were Laura Lee and Lucy. Lack of an identifiable body would mean a wait of seven years before he could be legally declared dead. An identifiable body had the added benefit that, if it could be proven that Tony had been involved in disposing of the body and that Benny had ordered the hit, then the police would get Bennie for murder and Tony as an accessory, something that would please me no end.

It was still some time before I was due to meet Lucy and I was sitting at my desk pouring over the copious notes that I had written in my note book when she came in with a couple of small shopping bags in her hand. She came round to my side of the desk and kissed me. "I have a surprise for you but you'll have to wait until tonight to see it." She sat on top of my notes. "What have you discovered while I was out shopping?"

"Not a lot of any use. I don't think we'll be able to prove anything without a body, and none has been forthcoming, very inconsiderate of people don't you think?"

"Did you, or did you not promise me lunch?"

"I did, let us away to find a feed-bag." I walked to the framed certificate that told the world that I was once a member in good standing of the Police force, pushed it aside, dialed up a number on my safe and shoved my notes inside. Closing it, I took her hand and we left.

Josie was behind the bar as we walked in. "Hi stranger, long time no see and I know why. What'll it be?"

"Now don't get jealous on me Kid."

"Kid? She's the kid, is she old enough to come into this joint, she doesn't look a day over thirteen."

"She's plenty old enough. We'll have a beer each and one of your T-bones, mine rare as usual and Lucy will have hers," I looked at Lucy who nodded to me, "rare too."

"Okay lover, coming up. Take a seat and I'll bring the beers over straight away."

We sat in a booth and sipped our beers. "Tell me Lucy, what are you studying in college?"

"Mathematics, why?"

"I know so little about you and if we're going to get married I should at least know something about you."

"It's all pretty boring really. Not too many people are interested in Math as a career."

"I'm interested. What part of Math interests you?" She was saved from answering by the arrival of our steaks, huge succulent slabs of rare beef all but covering the plates with a pile of fries hanging desperately to the side. Lucy cut a piece of beef and forked it into her mouth, chewing on it occupied a couple of minutes before she attacked the rest of it.

Neither of us spoke until the plates were clean. "Wow! That was some meal, now I know why you come here. Here I was thinking that it was just the help and that we'd have to gnaw our way through meat so tough that it could be used for shoe leather washed down with some weak brew, how wrong I was."

"Would I take you to a joint like that? I'm offended by the suggestion. Enough small talk, we have work to do." I got up from the booth and peeled off enough money to cover the meal and then some and we left. Josie didn't help matters by blowing me a kiss as I opened the door for Lucy.

Callaway was waiting for me back at my office. "It looks as if we may have discovered the late Andy Jones. A floater was pulled from the river this morning, the body had been in the river for a while and we couldn't get enough blood from him to match it to Andy's blood type but what clothes the body was wearing matched those he was reported to have been wearing when he disappeared. The only thing that we don't have is an intact head."

"Do you mean the body was decapitated?"

"No, but there wasn't enough left to enable us to positively identify it. Laura Lee said that she was ninety percent certain that it was her late lamented husband and if the Coroner agrees with her I guess that we can start looking for whoever it was that did this."