Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

I instinctively returned her embrace and held her until she stopped trembling. The storm moved rapidly through the area and as the thunder began to fade in the distance across the lake, I released her and sat her back down on the sofa. I broke the ice and asked, "Sandy, why are you here?"

She looked at me with her big blue eyes and said, "Henry, I wanted to apologize."

I looked at her incredulously that after everything she would have the unmitigated gall to believe an I'm sorry would make things better or the audacity to try and apologize. I asked her, "What do you want to apologize for? For not understanding that I suffered as much or more than you when I had to work on the road? Which I did by the way for the family we had planned on starting.

Are you sorry for breaking our wedding vows to have sex with David Rumson? Are you sorry you would've been caught? Are you sorry that I killed your boyfriend or did you plan on having him killed by my hand and I would end up in prison for life?"

She cried, "No I love you Henry!"

Shocked, I replied, "You loved me so much you had an affair with one of our employees? You loved me enough to believe I committed murder? You loved me so much that you refused to speak to me? Was it love that made you volunteer to testify against me? Are you simply misandrist or is it just me you revile and hate so much? You never gave the man you professed to love the benefit of the doubt. Never bothered to hear my side of things.

You wanted me to spend the rest of my life behind bars and did everything in your power to put me there. Whatever it was, love was never involved in the equation and that was proven beyond a reasonable doubt! Leave, the next time I see you will be in court, divorce court!"

I went out the back door. A rainbow appeared over the lake as I pondered the past two years, years filled with misery, betrayal and fear. The rainbow signified that a door had closed and that perhaps, one day another would be opened. I headed out to do a little afternoon fishing. Finally, both literally and metaphorically, the storm had passed.

Sandy's Perspective:

I couldn't believe what Henry just said to me. I sat in shock as he exited out the back while I heard the boat motor fire and heard the prop as it churned up the water of the lake as Henry left me behind in its wake. After a while, I had realized that my marriage was over so I got up and left through the front. The large oak tree still smoldered as it had been reduced to ashes, symbolic of my marriage.

As I drove back to town, I reflected on what had transpired. I had become so filled with anger at my husband that I allowed myself to believe that he had ignored my needs and wishes. I allowed my anger and loneliness to fester. I went to that Halloween party filled with rage and I drank so much that my inhibitions were lowered to a point where I allowed myself to cheat on my husband.

I continued to cheat on him and believed that it was justified given how I had been misused and mistreated. I brought my lover to my home and planned on sleeping with him in our marital bed. I had just finished sucking off Dave and I was so self-absorbed that I didn't even notice Henry's truck in the garage. I panicked when I heard the shots ring out and ran into the house. I blamed myself but my guilt quickly manifested itself as anger and I accused my husband of murder.

In order to hide my guilt and shame I continued to blame him, accused him and even tried to have him found guilty to avoid my own complacency in the events that had unfolded that tragic November evening. By the time I realized what I had done, by the time I realized that I loved my husband, it was far too late. While David Rumson died a tragic accidental death, I had murdered my marriage. Why had I tried to make amends? Nothing could excuse my behavior.

I approached the bridge where the Mononoke River entered Lake Massaweepee. I decided to put myself on trial as I stopped in the middle of the bridge. I pled guilty and sentenced myself to death. I exited the car and I climbed up on the old bridge's steel support. I looked to the heavens and asked for forgiveness for my sins past and present.

The sun was slowly fading as I leaped from the superstructure and plunged into the icy water that originated in the mountain springs which fed the lake. Darkness engulfed me as I sank into the depths of the dank water prepared to surrender to its merciful end. However, a reverberation disturbed the lake around me and suddenly I felt a powerful hand reach below and pull me from the watery grave. I passed out as I breeched the surface uncertain as to how or why I had been granted a reprieve and who commuted my sentence.

Epilogue:

I had decided to take the boat to the docks at the small marina to refuel and get some groceries. I was entering the no wake zone when I saw a figure standing high upon the superstructure of the 1920s era bridge that crossed inlet. Suddenly, the body leapt from the bridge and plunged into the cold water. I gunned the boat and quickly arrived at the spot where the body entered the water. I grabbed the person by the jacket and pulled it to the surface. Once the body broke the plane of the water, I saw it was a woman and nearly instantaneously realized it was Sandy.

I got her to shore, performed CPR until she started breathing again. I called 911 and had her rushed to the hospital. She was placed on a psych hold and later the court mandated therapy to treat her depression and help her cope. She spent six months in treatment but left with an understanding of what she did, some insight as to why, and coping mechanisms to help her accept it and move on.

I filed for divorce. I felt little anger toward her. I was disappointed in the shallowness she displayed in taking up with Rumson and mostly I felt greatly saddened at the outcome and a tremendous sense of loss. I paid for her treatment and even attended counseling sessions as I needed some insight into her behavior.

Judge Ferguson proved to be a wise man indeed. He realized I needed help before I did. When I sought help for myself as I tried to cope with the events of the recent past. Sandy's therapist recognized the warning signs and referred me to her colleague. Dr. Sean McMahon diagnosed me with PTSD. I received separate treatment to help me deal with it.

The intense therapy has been over for both of us for several months though we both continue to follow up. Sandy accepted that while I had forgiven her that we could never be a couple ever again. We had an amicable divorce. The final decree arrived in the mail six weeks ago. Sandy met a nice guy, a schoolteacher named John. They have dated for three months and it looks like they are headed toward marriage.

I have remained single. I wanted to work through my issues. At this moment the thought of loving and trusting another woman is difficult for me to fathom. I can't complain I'm truly and unconditionally loved by my Mom and Dad. Without them I would have been locked up with the key thrown away.

They have provided emotional and financial support during this entire ordeal. I took over the home division last year and I'm also vice president of the company. I've great friends. I fish, boat, hunt, attend barbeques and oversee the company picnic and Christmas party. My social calendar is quite full. I sent Mom and Dad on a trip around the world as my Christmas gift this year. I also wanted to thank them for everything they have done for me and have always been to me. I minded the store while they were gone.

Recently, I met a woman named Amelia who like me is divorced and has trust issues. I met her while waiting for a therapy session. She was there to meet with her support group. So far, we've only had coffee but I have felt a spark. I knew I was far and away from ready for a new relationship but I asked her to dinner the other day and she agreed to go. I must fully close the door to my past. How long it may take, if ever, remained unknown. If that day comes then perhaps that second door can finally be opened. Only time will tell.