Bi for Fun, Hetero for Love

I know a lot of people think of bi-men as either confused, in the closet, or some other kind of freak. I get it, Bi-men are not well understood: well at least I'm not. I'm 64 and the fact is, I have always considered myself bi with a leaning towards women for almost all my life. I don't tell anyone because while society is beginning to see bisexual women as sexy and simply "flexible," flexible men are not welcomed (or understood) by many straight women or men. Bisexuality, for men, still has a stigma, and in my experience, admitting that you are bi is an invitation to being ostracized.

Look, I know a lot of you think I should just "make a choice" but in my case, I really don't want to. While I like having a relationship with one woman at a time, I occasionally find my self longing and even possessed by the idea of being with a man. Once in a great while I get to act on it.

Women are beautiful, soft, sensuous, and lovely. When I'm with a woman I understand the care and love needed to build a relationship and be the man in their life. I am good with one woman at a time (I'm widowed but now have a girlfriend). I love to make love to a woman and I'm willing to be the more masculine, aggressive lover than when I am with a man. I wish the world was such that I could indulge my urges to be with a man more, but I have to do it on the down low. I've only met one woman in my life who would understand my bi-nature, and I let her get a way a long time ago, I still regret that.

So, I have to make sure my male liaisons are secret, anonymous, and always without emotional attachment. It would be better if I could be with a man and with the woman I love present, but she would be disgusted and leave me. I don't want her to, because in every other way I like the relationship and love her. I'd give up men if I could, but long ago I accepted who I am. I'm a male who likes to have a cock inside him sometimes.

One of my favorite liaisons was back when Craig's List had personals and Covid 19 wasn't an issue. I looked for an ad for a married man who wanted a blowjob in his hotel room and had no trouble finding one. He was in a nice hotel here in town and I put on some sexy silk thong panties and agreed to meet him in his room for a blow and go.

I knocked, he let me in, all the lights off. He was only wearing a towel and in the dark we met and hugged. I reached down and started to gently stoke his dick, letting him know I'd get right down to business, as he said he preffered. He laid back on the bed, and in the dark, I did a slow strip for him. I knew he didn't think he was gay (even though I was about to blow him) and I tried to move and talk like a soft spoken woman.

He reached out and rubbed by panty clad ass (I should tell you, I'm still an athlete, cycling and tennis have me in very strong shape, so my ass is pretty tight) and I could feel him getting excited.

I whispered, "Who is your favorite actress?" and he named some woman on TV and I said, "well you just lay back and imagine that she is loving this great cock of yours." I got on the bed and gently licked his thighs, then began to suck on his balls while his cock got harder and harder. I licked around the tip and he moaned softly, now I was into it, I turned into the submissive fag I desperately needed to become.

I sucked the head of his cock, especially around the ring in the front while I used both hands to jerk him. He was loving it, moaning her name and began fucking my mouth. He was mine at least for the moment.

I must have gone at it for half an hour of bobbing, licking and sucking, slowing down when I thought he might be ready.

He was pudgy, kind of a Dad bod guy, and I loved the idea that someone was treating him the way he wanted to be treated in bed, I could tell he wasn't satisfied at home and I loved the thought of being his slut.

When I reached my finger up to his ass, he gladly spread his legs and let me up there, I reached in and fucked him with my middle finger while he screamed Oh My God and came in my mouth. I sucked it all down, making sure that I administered to his needs until he was soft.

I knew he'd be regretful now, perhaps even angry, so, I quietly got up and slipped into the bathroom with my clothes, leaving him in the dark to figure things out for himself. Either he liked it or he didn't, but I knew that this man, this time, was done with me and I quietly slipped out of the room and back to my car.

I wasn't done though, I was in a bit of a frenzy for cock now and I headed for an adult bookstore off 95. This place had two theaters plus gloryholes and I went into the all male side of the theater first.

There was a Latino man, dressed in a working man's outfit (like a truck driver or custodian) and he was standing in front of a twink who was giving him a bj in the row of seats in front of me. I sat and watched, totally into it when he caught my eye and pointed to the seat next to the twink, I didn't even think of my options, that how in heat I was, and I got up on his command and sat down. He pulled his big cock out of the twinks mouth and stuffed it right into mine where he came buckets down my throat! My second load of the night and the twink, a scrawny young guy looked pissed so I turned my head and kissed him full, sharing the Latino's load. It was so hot.

The twink asked me if I wanted to be sucked and by now I was ready to cum so I unzipped and he fell to his knees on the sticky theater floor, taking my 8 inch long and very thick cock all the way to the back of his throat where I unloaded a fire hose of cum, he swallowed it all, none to share in a kiss this time.

It was quite a memorable night. I wish the first guy was more comfortable, I would have crawled in bed with him and been his lover. I'd love to be with a man who was confidant and kind and gentle who would make love to me, taking my virgin ass and making me explode just by rubbing his dick on my prostate, but that was not meant to be. I long to "go all the way" as we used to say in high school, being both bottom and top in the relationship, having a lover who not only understands my needs but feels the same way. For now, I'll just have to imagine this scene in my head as I jerk my own cock off and cum all over my tits, imagining that my lover and I are licking, sucking and fucking like we both want to. I'm not getting any younger, and I still dream of the day I can have this experience. If you are near Orlando, perhaps we can meet!