Big Girls Sometimes Cry

Their oldest child Gray, who gained the notion he was in a dysfunctional family, married at the age of nineteen just as his mother and grandmother had done, and that got him out of home. He and his fellow student wife lived with her parents.

Gray's sisters were both twenty when they married.

A big shock occurred for Lydia when the high school principal called her to the school. It seemed Bella had gone into the boy's toilet and measured guys' dicks with a ruler.

Lydia was mortified, feeling that had been the most unromantic misdemeanor in Bella's entire life. She took the suspended Bella home and they rowed and then Bella sent Lydia into her biggest shock ever when Bella lied to her about the time Grandma Lorna had threatened to set her on fire.

"You liar, you fucking liar. Oh god I'm sending you to some sort of reform school."

Terrified at the thought of being incarcerated with a bunch of rampant lesbians, Bella screamed, "I sorry mom, I've been such a stupid bitch lying to you like that"

Bella was so relieved that her mom 'bought' that. She went screaming and sobbing in her mom's arms and Lydia was sobbing too.

Conrad came out to see what the commotion was and scurried away when his daughter lied and said, "I got angry because mom bought me the wrong brand of sanitary pads."

* * *

Conrad still smarted about his son claiming he was escaping a dysfunctional family. He should have taken Gray to show him what dysfunctional families were really like. He knew of a couple pf prime examples. Bella was to blame for that. In face Bella was to blame for most of what went wrong in the household. Really he ought to acknowledge she was a right little bitch but, he sighed, she was his daughter.

Well it was too late now to do what he should have done from the outset, put down his foot as a father and demanded discipline, especially from the disruptive Bella. The older kids had flown from the nest and Bella was now behaving a bit better and seem to be relating quite well to Lydia, but not before time. Christ Lydia had bent over backwards attempting to accommodate Bella and her errant ways. Thank god she was improving.

That night Lydia told Conrad about Bella being suspended from school and the reason for it.

He went to leap out of bed, almost foaming at the mouth and yelling, "Right that bitch is out of here. Lydia managed to restrain him, pulling at his arm, and Conrad submitted because he knew he couldn't deal with such a crisis being in a rage.

"This is what we have to do," said Lydia.

"Bella is suspended for a fortnight and then there will be a review by the school. I have contacted all the mothers. Some were angry and some thought it was such a giggle. I pleaded to all of them for tolerance and to discuss this with their husbands, adding Bella had done it as a dare and also because her girlfriends were interested. I said it was important for us that our daughter graduated and said we would be generous to the school if no further action was taken and Bella's suspended was lifted."

"Just how generous?"

Lydia said, "That's up to you darling. I didn't elaborate. That stupid young bitch."

"She's our daughter," Conrad said, although are it was necessary to remind his wife of that. "Are you aware none of our children adopted your romantic notions?"

"Very much aware darling. I tried and I failed and accept that. I guess my notions were outdated and I was among the last of the believers."

"I'm truly sorry darling and say our children with the exception of Bella have grown to make us proud of them."

Lydia cuddled Conrad and said, "Darling it's too early to write Bella off. Bide your time before judgment, huh?"

"Well if you insist," he said, reaching down to part the fifty-six year old furrow.

"Oooh. You have remembered its alternative use?"

He chuckled.

Resting after one of the best fucks he'd had for quite sometime, Conrad thought about himself, his parents, his own family and mortality and sighed. Eventually the thought came that left him very happy. But it had to wait till the outcome of Bella's suspension review.

* * *

Bella with her parents appeared before a committee of the school board.

The chairwoman said, "Bella, despite your appalling behavior at times that recently reached a new peak, you have performed brilliantly academically and your teachers speak highly of you. But we still have misgivings despite receiving letters from the parents of all five boys that they have no wish to take this matter further, that they will abide by the board's decision. Whatever this committee decides our recommendation must go before the full board."

Bella began weeping, but she stood between her parents, back straight.

"What have you to say about this young woman?"

"Mrs Marsh, members of the committee." Bella began tentatively, flicking at her eyes. "I erred in my judgment and have fallen, taking my exuberance and risk-taking one step to far. I am sorry, ever so sorry that I have risked harming the reputation of my school. It will be harmed if this gets out. I am repentant but I pose as a liability to this school. You have no option but to kick me out."

Lydia was spellbound, realizing for this first time her youngest was an actress of some talent to be able to lie like that. She new her daughter well enough that no way did Bella wish to leave school.

"Thank you Bella," Mrs Marsh said, looking completely surprised and members of her committee were exchanging glances.

"Mrs Fitzgerald?"

"My husband will speak for both of us."

"Mr Fitzgerald?"

"Chairman Marsh, board members. Right from the time as a baby my daughter has exhibit behavioral problems. It's in her nature as if it's a counter-reaction to her mother who I believe is one of the softest and most romantic women one could ever expect to find. But in Bella's eighteen years this is the first example of totally unacceptable behavior. That being said, I now give you the choice: Expel Bella and I'll send her to finish her year at a private boarding school where the estimated fees will be $10,000. If she stays I'll donate that ten grand to this school's gymnasium extension fund. If the board decides that is unaccepted because it looks like a bribe then so be it. Bella is our daughter and we know she wants to stay at this school and graduate in eight months. My wife Lydia and I thank you for hearing us out and we apologize for our daughter's behavior."

"Thank you Mr Fitzgerald. Please step outside while the committee deliberates."

Bella hugged her father and then her mother and led them out.

"Sorry guys. As I've already told you I overstepped the mark but nothing I'll say will change what I have done. To tell you the truth I really don't feel repentant and that's a bit of a worry."

"Conrad don't," Lydia said. "Lashing out now won't change anything expect perhaps make Bella..."

Conrad interrupted. "I was about to say how proud of her I was when Bella told the subcommittee to kick her out."

Bella and Lydia looked at Conrad, mouths open, and the committee clerk opened the door and said, "Come in please."

"I'll make this short," said Mrs Marsh. "Please do not repeat this. The entire committee is proud that Bella had the courage to say to us we had no option but to expel her. We hope she has gained that backbone from her schooling here."

Mrs Marsh continued, "It is the unanimous recommendation of this committee that Bella's suspension be lifted immediately. A brief meeting of the board will be held at 6:00 this evening to consider that recommendation."

"Bella I will call you immediately after that meeting. I would suggest you be ready to return to school in the morning."

"Mr Fitzgerald, it is the committee's decision to make no mention of a possible donation to the school. If you wish to enact that suggestion of a donation then please approach the deputy-principal who is the appeal organizer. Thank you for your attendance and may I say this school has had the pleasure of seeing Gray, Zara, Silver and now almost Bella pass through this school and especially Bella will be leaving a real mark. Mrs Tang, our recorder from administration, informed us that Bella is on track to become one of the five top highest academic achievers this school has had in its sixty-eighty year history."

Lydia burst into tears and Bella and Conrad hugged her.

During the drive home Lydia sniffed, "But sometimes your marks have been appalling."

"Well this year for some reason I appear to have switched on mother. Perhaps it's something to do with maturity. The marks that really count are this senior year and if I do head the class of this year then Mrs Tang may well be correct. Everything I touch seems to turn golden. I'm by far the most fluent in French, my art has come ahead in leaps and bounds, I consistently excel in science and two of my essays have been entered in interschool competitions."

"You have not kept us informed."

"Sorry mother."

As they drove into the garage, Lydia said, "When you measured the penis of each male student, did you touch flesh?"

Conrad almost failed to stop the vehicle in time.

"Oh yes mother. I had to work them up into erection otherwise how could I measure true length?"

"Ohmigod," Lydia wailed.

Conrad sat as if stupefied.

Two Saturdays later Gray, Zara and Silver were home without their spouses and Gray's baby. Gray had not been able to make it the previous Saturday for the family conference but this Saturday was okay for everyone.

There was no debate on Bella's school suspension, the reason for it and her reinstatement but Conrad said he'd donated $10,000 to the school's gymnasium fund and his wife and children applauded him.

"Let's have lunch and then I'll make a little speech and presentations," Conrad said.

After lunch ended he said, "I received a big inheritance along with my two brothers and sister when our parents' estate was finally wound up. I made a presentation to your mother some months ago and now it's appropriate to share with you guys. Bella your money will go into a trust account that will terminate on your 21st birthday. The trustee are either me or your mother and our bank's current manager at the time. Each of you is being given $300,000. So Gray, Zara and Silver here are your checks."

The children rushed to hug their father. Lydia went to the kitchen and returned with two bottles of champagne.

Lydia stood back and watched her family with satisfaction. The older children were in their early thirties and yet Bella seemed to be like one of them right now, no longer like a hanger on. Yes, it was true, she'd suddenly have appeared to have matured. The shock of being caught out measuring boys' dicks and realizing how it could humiliate her parents and harm the reputation of her school no doubt had thrust her into adulthood. But Lydia thought Bella would always be a worry for her. She seemed to lack something.

Soul?

After the others had gone Lydia went into Bella's bedroom, hugged her and gave her a check for $2000. "I decided to do this standing in that room when we you stood up, shoulders squared and said to the subcommittee they had no option but to expel you. I'd always wanted my children to grow up with romantic thoughts as my mother did for me. But none of you did and you were the worst. Indeed you were close to being the antithesis of romance."

"I'm sorry to have been such a big disappointment mother."

"You are okay; every since you were little you knew who you were and I knew you'd be your own woman. It's just I would have liked you to have a softer side. I have never forgotten my charmed life being the youngest in my family and so loved by my proud mother."

"Sorry mother."

"Well I do love you and you were so brave when told you couldn't get your hands on that money for another two and a half years."

"It's okay. Big girls don't cry."

"Oh but they do."

"Nah, they don't mom, unless they are romantic."

"Thank you for saying that darling," Lydia said sniffing.

Bella said, "You haven't told me what this two grand is for?"

"You keep interrupting."

Bella just smiled.

"Your monthly allowance is being raised from $800 a month to $2800, the extra money coming from some of the money your father gave me. I can't bear to have you feeling deprived."

"I had said it was cool mom. You know I'm a tough bitch. I'm sorry your other daughters are not romantics either. But I suggest you wait until they have babies, particularly a daughter. Romance could be in their genes, that's not the one spelt with a "J."

Perhaps it was her growing feeling of gaining maturity. Perhaps it was the hopeful look on her mom's face when she said, "Do you really think that Bella?"

"Yes mom, I do think that," Bella lied. Well perhaps there was a chance one of the daughters would soften.

Lydia looking on Bella's study desk asked, "What's in this folder?"

"Much of my artwork for this year plus stuff I do at home instead of watching fucked-up TV."

"Darling please."

"Instead of watching TV."

"Thank you. May I have a look?"

Bella went back to doing her nails so her mom opened the folder.

The room was silent for quite sometime and then finally, "Bella, this is unbelievable."

Bella looked at the tear-streaked face of her mother. "Mom it's no big deal. All it is I seemed to have gained new feelings and well as greater expertise."

Lydia held up a fairy-tale type figure of a young blonde woman in a blue silk robe reaching to touch the wing of a giant butterfly. The 'princess' was on a mushroom. The work had been rendered meticulously.

"Then what is this young woman?"

"Oh you would have to select that one. Old Ma Perkins told the class the highest mark she'd ever awarded for a sketch was 15/20 and she was awarding me 19/20 for that work and then gave me until 4:00 next afternoon to submit what we had been asked to sketch, a moon rising. I got 12/20 for that."

"Ohmigod Bella can't you see?"

"See what?"

"Oh it doesn't matter. May I take this folder to your father?"

"Waste of time. He's never interested."

Conrad looked through the folder and closing it said, "Jesus."

"Conrad please."

"What?

"Oh it doesn't matter. We have a genius rising, haven't we?"

"Certainly looks like it. Her sketch of you is really quite amazing."

"What was the odd sketch out in that selection Conrad?"

"This one that would have made your panties wet, the Princess and the Butterfly."

"Oh I'm so glad you noticed. She is going to have a romantic side to her Conrad. This is the very first sign of it emerging."

"I thought you'd say something like that."

"You'll probably get good sex tonight because of that."

"That's okay, um very okay, but the best thing is seeing you happy about her. You've always wanted her to be like you."

"That's not true," Lydia lied. "My aspirations for my daughters have always been shared evenly."

"Pull the other toe darling. Jesus it's been a long wait for you and it's not here yet, I mean not completely."

"That is a very sharp observation for a male," Professor Fitzgerald.

"Coaxed out of me only because of your sensitive and loving nature."

"God darling, don't you turn romantic on me. Look the week after next I'd like to take Bella to this adult education advanced writer's course where I'm one of the principal presenters. It coincides with her school break."

"She'll have plans."

"I never pressure her to do anything for me so she'll yield."

"Want to bet?"

"A thousand bucks."

"Wow, serious are we?"

"She will Conrad, I think she's reached the stage where she'd ready to accept she owes us."

"A stage that has taken her eighteen years. Wow!"

CHAPTER 4

Driving back from the four-day workshop Lydia said, "Was that guy Owen Smith you were hanging about with screwing you?"

"Yes as a matter of fact he was mommy."

"God Bella you are only eighteen."

"What age were you when you began fucking mom?"

"Oh look, there's a white horse."

They broke into laughter and Lydia flushed in pleasure when told by her daughter she was all right.

"I'm changing my planned degree course from Business Studies mom. I'll take English Lit slash Writing but will also take Computer Science as a backstop."

"I approve, especially with that backstop. Few people really succeed at writing."

Bella graduated from high school as top student, taking the top awards for English, writing, art and French plus a trophy for being captain of the B-side hockey team that had won its interschool zone final.

Later that day she stood beside her weeping mother, holding her hand, as Conrad hailed as 'A magnificent donor to the school' had been invited up to cut the tape at the entrance to the new extension to the school gym.

All in all, it marked a great era of the Fitzgerald family's association with that high school.

From that day Bella's much closer association with her mother began to decline.

First Bella arrive home with a lanky guy with bowed hairy legs that Lydia was embarrassed at been seen with when they went to the restaurant. Only smooth talking by Conrad had they gotten him into the restaurant because Leon wasn't wearing socks and shorts were frowned on.

Lydia and daughter had a fight when Lydia told Bella to get a worthwhile guy. Lydia and Leon left next day, refusing to say where they were going.

"What could they do elsewhere that they couldn't do here?" Conrad asked.

"Rut," Lydia snapped, slamming the door behind her.

The next guy Bella showed up with was a couple of rungs up the ladder and because of Conrad's warning not to criticize, when Bella asked what did they think of Jerry and neither of her parents could think of what to say that would be considered safe, all Bella said was, "Well his mother probably likes him."

That was the last they saw of Jerry and of Bella for quite a while.

During the next college break Bella turned up with a music major called Fergus McDuff.

He looked much better and Lydia made sure Bella saw her kiss Fergus.

"What do you think of Fergus mother?"

"I like him." He's a definite improvement but playing a guitar, I ask you."

"He happens to play the piano, trumpet and flute mother but that will fail to impress you. I bet if I said he played the bagpipes you'd be into his bed."

Lydia raised her hand to slap Bella and let it fall.

Bella sneered, "So the romantic doesn't have the guts to slap her daughter to bring her into line?"

Lydia packed a bag and stayed a three nights with each of her other daughters and returning home was told Lydia and Fergus had left that morning.

"Knowing I was coming home?"

Conrad said gravely, "Knowing you were on the way home."

"Jesus Conrad, I'm fucking up my life with my daughter," Lydia shrieked and left the room, slamming the door.

Conrad would have been aware he'd never before heard Lydia speak like that.

They didn't see Bella again until her commencement day. Lydia was surprised to be invited. She went almost fearfully but just as Conrad said it was fine. Bella kissed her quite warmly and asked how she'd been keeping.

"Fine thank you but I have been missing you dreadfully."

"I know. We are just going through a bad patch mother. Just be patient. It will unravel."

"What will unravel?"

"Our bad patch. I don't know how but it will."

"When?"

"I have no idea."

During one of the intervals between degree presentations, the college orchestra took to the stage and Lydia and Conrad noted Fergus was playing electric guitar.

Halfway through the orchestra fell away and he played a stunning solo and then the orchestra came back to join him in a haunting finale.

The MC announced, "We thank the orchestra for that beautiful piece of music. Our soloist of this inter-college prizewinning piece of original music was Fergus MacDonald. Fergus is the composer of that piece he's named, 'Northern Lights Over Arctic'.