Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 05

"June is on her way home and Jack is on his way to you," Henrietta said. "Why? What's up?"

Ethan knew she said that a little to easily. How would she know exactly where they are right now? He asked, "Etta, what the fuck is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did something happen today?" Liam asked. "Is that why Jack and June are together?"

"Something like what?"

"Cut the shit, Etta." Ethan mimicked Liam. "You know Jack has been acting weird and distant and shit, and now he's pulled June into whatever is going on, and I would kindly like to know the details of why Jack is suddenly a crazier version of himself."

Henrietta paused. Then said slowly, "Jack is not crazy. Everything he is feeling and doing is 100% valid. And I support him."

"And I would like to support him too, if I knew what the fuck is going on."

Henrietta paused again, then said, "Jack is on his way home to you. Ask him yourself."

"I did," Ethan gritted through his teeth. "Several times in the last three maybe four months now."

She paused a third time, then said,"Ask him again. I think he's ready to tell you now."

Liam interjected, "Is June OK?"

Henrietta said again, "June is on her way home to you. She is fine."

Ethan had a thought. "Are they with you right now?"

Jack who was sitting across from Henrietta shook his head once, June squeezed his hand. "They were here. And now they are not," Henrietta lied.

"You aren't going to give us anything more are you?" Liam said, frustrated.

"Nope. And I have to go, I'm still on the clock." She hung up.

For the third time Ethan and Liam looked at each other confused. Simultaneously they pulled out their cell phones, Ethan calling Jack, Liam calling June. Neither of them answered, but June immediately texted back: Hey, can't talk right now, but I will come to your house soon. Love you.

It sounded typical for June. Ethan did not get a call or a text back. So he went downstairs and waited.

Ethan ate dinner with EJ, gave his son a bath, read him a book and put him to bed alone, then sat in the living room and waited. Two hours later, Ethan's phone rang. Ethan saw Jack's name and picked it up.

"Jack." Ethan breathed out his name as a greeting.

Jack asked, "E, can you come outside?"

"Why can't you come inside?" Ethan asked.

"Because...I can't. Please? Just come upstairs then."

Jack didn't want to risk Ethan holding him hostage in the apartment. Ethan begrudgingly said OK, grabbed the monitor connected to EJ's room and came upstairs. Liam must have left exactly at 10pm to see June, as it was only 10:02pm and the vestibule lights were dimmed and the dining room lights off. Jack was standing there in his black track suit he wears when he goes running, with a book bag on his back.

Ethan had a bad bad feeling. He asked calmly, "What's going on?"

"I have to go," Jack said plainly.

"Go where?"

Jack said evasively, "I... can't tell you."

Ethan stayed calm. "OK. When are you coming back?"

Jack shifted his feet. "I.... don't... know.... if..... I just have to go." He turned around and stepped out into the night. Ethan followed him.

"You're not making any sense," he said. "You are saying you have to go. You are not saying where you are going or if you are coming back, or even why. Are you breaking up with me?"

Jack turned to face him. "No, I...." He thought a bit, then made his face hard and said, "Yes."

Ethan's eyebrows went up. "Yes....?"

"Yes." Jack stood firm.

"Yes you are....breaking up with me?"

Jack said again, "Yes."

Ethan let a moment pass, then screamed at him, his voice echoing in the night, "WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK, JACK!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Jack faltered, "OK, no. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do!"

Ethan said angrily, "Start by telling me the whole truth. All of it. NOW."

Jack hesitated. Then took a deep breath and looked beyond Ethan as he spoke. "My parents didn't just die mysteriously. They were killed, murdered by the Riley Family, the last Irish mob in Dublin, Ireland." Ethan's mouth dropped as he let all the air out of his lungs, eyes wide.

Jack continued, "And I know this because I was there. Hiding in the closet with Junie. I know who ordered the hit, who was there and now I know where they are. And I'm going after them. I'm going to Dublin to kill the men who raped and killed my mother and my father. I'm going to kill all of them."

Ethan could not pick his mouth back up. The seriousness in Jack's voice was almost frightening. Almost. After a few seconds he said, "Okay. Okay. First. Jack. I'm so incredibly sorry that happened to your parents. To you."

Jack said coldly, "I don't need your fucking sympathy."

"Well that's too fucking bad, you're going to get it. You were a six year old kid, with his two year old sister. No child should ever have to go through that. As a father, I couldn't imagine EJ going through something like that. So yea. I feel for you. Truly. And I wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me this before." Jack looked away.

"Secondly," Ethan said, "You do realize you just told me you are going up against the fucking Irish mob right? You and you alone? They are going to fucking kill you."

Jack turned back to him, said, "And I've prepared my whole life for that. But I know I will take at least one out with me. Possibly two. But definitely Danny. I would have killed him that night if he was still here."

Ethan was really confused. "What night? When was he in Rockville?"

"No, not Rockville. At Connolly's," Jack confessed. "He was there. I heard him. And I went looking for him. And if he was still there I swear to God I would have jumped over the table and stuck a fork in his fucking throat." And Ethan finally understood what happened to Jack that night, what had been happening to Jack since his birthday. He let him continue. "He killed my parents. And he ordered the hit on me and Junie."

Ethan asked, "Why?"

"I don't know. I'm hoping to find out, but honestly it doesn't matter. Who the fuck hog ties and sodomizes a man in front of his wife? Who the fuck runs a train on a woman with his two friends and slits her throat during, while her husband watches? What kind of sick sadistic fuck rapes a dead woman while her husband is bleeding out next to her? Then tells a dying man how he's going to dismember his kids?

"Daniel fucking Riley. That's who. I have his home address and where he hides his family. And I'm going to murder him in his own home, like he did to my dad. And one of his men will probably take me out. And I'm OK with that."

"I'm not OK with that!" Ethan said incredulously. "Nobody that loves you is going to be OK with that! I need you to think this through-"

Jack yelled at him, "No fuck that and fuck you! This is exactly why I didn't tell you, because I knew you would try to talk me out of it. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment. 18 fucking years! You've been in my life for a moment of that and you can't change it. It's happening. I'm fucking leaving."

Ethan's heart was constricting. He said quietly, "And that moment means nothing to you? You're willing to throw away everything we've been building together, all the plans and promises we made to each other for...revenge?"

"For honor. For my parents. For my family. I'd give my own life for them."

Ethan swallowed, then said softly, "Am I not your family too, Jackie? And EJ? Aren't we your family?"

Jack came closer but didn't touch him. "Ethan, you are my family. You and EJ mean everything to me. But this goes beyond us. It's so much bigger than you and me. It's almost out of my hands now."              

Ethan was beginning to get angry. "Bullshit. You are making a choice. You're making a choice to leave me and EJ and walk into what you believe will be a good death, when all I see is... kamikaze."              

Jack sighed. "I could survive you know. I could execute it perfectly and come back to you."

Ethan became really angry. "And what makes you think I would let you come back? You think you could just leave me here, not knowing if you are alive or dead, for the next couple of...days, months, years, then walk back into my life when it's convenient? You think I'm going to let you do that to my son? I don't even let his mother do that to him! Why the fuck would I let you?"

It was Jack's turn for his heart to feel constricted. His face fell. He didn't realize not coming back to Ethan would be off the table. He reached out to touch him saying, "Ethan," but Ethan backed up.

"No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to love me right now, then leave me. You're making a choice so make it. Either stay here with me. Be a family with me. Raise our son together. Or go. Avenge two dead people who would rather you have a happy life instead of this obsession of honor and sacrifice. I know that for a fact that your parents aren't happy about this, because I'm a parent and I would haunt the fuck out of EJ if he tried this shit. So choose."

They stood there face to face for a moment. The Jack said, "Ethan. Don't do this. Don't...."

It was Ethan's turn to go cold. "Fucking choose Jack." He crossed his arms. They stood there again for another couple of seconds starting at each other.

Jack said again, "Don't....Please...." He had a flashback to when he and Ethan barely knew each other, and he would look at his strong arms and wanted nothing more than to be held by them. He slowly walked to Ethan and put his head on Ethan's crossed arms.

Ethan softened. He looked ahead and said, "Don't go, Jackie Bear. Please choose me."

"I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go," he kept repeating, head on his arms, his hands on Ethan's waist.

"Then this is goodbye," Ethan said quietly.

Jack really felt his chest squeeze tightly. He said it so low he almost whispered, "Please. Ethan. Please." He held onto the loops of Ethan's jeans tightly.

Ethan didn't move. He said, "I'm choosing my family. My sanity. I want you to stay with me, be my family, grow our family. I made my choice. Now make yours." Jack didn't respond so Ethan stood firm.

"You can't have both. You can't do both. That's incredibly selfish and inconsiderate of you to think I would just sit around and wait for you with the possibility that you may never come home. Knowing what I been through. Knowing that all I've ever wanted and needed is consistency and stability for me and EJ. I can't let you do that to my family. To me. So make a choice. And deal with the effects of that choice."              

Jack reached up and touched Ethan's face with both of his hands. A lump formed in his throat and it became hard for him to talk, to breath. He looked up and Ethan would not look at him so he turned his face and forced him too, gently. He kissed him gently on the lips. They looked at each other, Ethan getting lost in Jack's emeralds while Jack swam in his brown eyes.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but the lump got even bigger. He kissed Ethan again on the lips, then stepped back, letting his hand linger a bit longer on Ethan's arm. He turned around, walked to his car and got in. Ethan stood there numb watching Jack drive away.

Jack drove feeling numb, He wondered why his eyes were stinging him, and then it became hard for him to see. He kept driving another ten minutes, waited until he was out of Hopkinton County altogether to pull over and sob uncontrollably.

Ethan went inside and locked the door, went to his apartment and laid on his bed. His head was spinning with all Jack had just told him and how Jack had left him. His emotions was mixed; He was hurting for Jack and all that he had been through. But he was also so tired of being left by everyone he has ever loved, walking away from relationships with him like they never mattered in the first place. Carlos. Professor Hutch. Now Jack.

Jack was no different than the rest. It didn't matter the reason, the results were the same -- Ethan getting left behind, being depressed and alone. He was hurt but decided to be angry instead. He hated Jack for coming into his life, into EJ's life, opening him up and then walking away. Literally just up and left. How dare he do that? He hoped he never saw Jack again. He wiped away angry tears and turned on his stomach.

~~~~~

Jack drove straight to Queens, New York and barely slept in his car until the sun rose. He left his car in a garage, paid for a month in advance, went to the post office and mailed his car keys and car ticket to June's dorm, then got on the train back to the city. His flight didn't leave for another 24 hours, but he had no where else to go. He wandered the streets all day and stopped himself from calling Ethan a million times. And Ethan didn't call or text, so he knew it was over. He had to let him go.

~~~~~

Liam came into the Inn at 7:30am the next morning. Stacy asked, "What are you doing here this early?"

Liam ignored her question instead asked, "Is Ethan up?"

"I don't know, he hasn't come upstairs yet."

Liam went to the door near the office to the basement apartment, went down the stairs and banged on the door. Ethan opened the door angrily. "What the fuck do you want!?"

Liam held up an envelope and asked, "Did you get one of these last night?"

Ethan snatched the letter out of Liam's hand walking into his apartment. Liam followed and closed the door. EJ was sitting in his high chair eating breakfast, cut up pieces of pancakes and sausage. Ethan sat down and said as he was opening up the letter, "No, I got an in person, 'fuck you I'm gone' from Jack." He read June's letter to Liam:

Liam,

I love you. My love for you is bottomless, endless, timeless, infinite, no beginning and no end. You are the gem in my life that has always been there, and I wish I found you sooner. I need you to know this, so that when you wake up tomorrow and I am gone, know that it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you, your love for me or my love for you.

Jack came to find me today, to tell me goodbye. I knew this day was coming. When I was 11 and Jack was 15, he gave me the newspaper clippings in this envelope and told me what really happened to our parents. And he told me his plan, that when the time came, he would go to Dublin and kill the people responsible for their death and especially the one who orchestrated the whole thing. He told me that only one of them would come back.

And at 11 years old I knew when that time came that I had a decision to make, whether or not I would go with him. When Jack came to me today, I made the decision right then and there to go with him. He can't do this alone. Henrietta and I tried to convince him of that but you know Jack. We're going anyway, me, Henrietta and Mina. We're going to make sure that we all come home safely, alive. I love you so much. But I can't lose my brother.

Tell Ethan I'm bringing him back to him. He's so wrapped up in his rage and grief, he didn't even notice that his heart started to heal the day he met Ethan. He deserves to be loved like that, the way Ethan loves him. The way you love me. Liam, If I don't make it back, just know that I love you and loved you until the bitter end.

Burn this letter and the clippings. No evidence.

Your Forever June.

Ethan read the letter twice, then looked at the news clippings. It was horrific what happened to Jamison Redmond and his wife Betsy. First clipping: It was labeled a home invasion, robbery and kidnapping. The couple was found dead in their beds, wife still in her nightgown with her throat slit, the husband tied up and shot twice, once in the chest and once in the head. Their two children were no where to be found and the police suspect they were kidnapped and feared dead. Inspector Galis led the investigation.

Second clipping: Months later the children still had not been found and there were no leads. Third clipping: A year later neighbors had a memorial for the children, Jack and June Redmond. Fourth clipping: The inspector would not let up, investigation still open two years later. Fifth clipping: Two and a half years later three suspects confessed to the rapes and murders of the Redmond family, just like that.

Sixth clipping: The day of sentencing, someone sent a letter to the Dublin Gazette, exposing the murders as a Riley Family cover up, that the family was specifically targeted and assassinated, and put the three stooges up there to take the fall for the murder. Seventh clipping: It was suspected that Galis wrote the letter and he swore under oath he did not, but also said he believed every word of it.

Eight, ninth and tenth clippings: Each of of the convicted murderers mysteriously died in prison over the course of the next two years, one in a fight in the yard, one suicide, one allergic reaction to medication. Eleventh and last clipping: Ruben Riley stepped down and Daniel Riley officially named CEO of Riley Construction, LLC, and they were expanding from the UK to the US. Ethan noted the date of the last clipping, just a few months after Jack's tenth birthday. The same year Jack decided not to be adopted. He really had been planning this for years.

Ethan put the papers down next to him and sat back on the couch. Liam took EJ out of his high chair and put him down so he could run around and play, then sat down on the couch next to him. Ethan said, "I don't know what to do with this. I'm so...." He wanted to say hurt or angry but he couldn't get either word out.

Liam answered for him, "Scared. You're scared. I'm scared. June told me last year the full story of what happened to their parents. But she didn't tell me this, Jack's plan. If she would have, I would have been right there with them. But now all we can do is sit around and wait."

"I'm not doing that," said Ethan. "I have to go on with my life. For EJ."

Liam looked at him confused. "EJ needs Jack."

"I told Jack he couldn't come back to me. If...if he makes it."

"And why the fuck would you do that?" Liam asked.

"I don't know..." Ethan put his hands on his head. "Because he was leaving me. So either way it was over. I don't know. It all made sense last night."

"So if he comes home you're going to what, turn him away?" Liam asked.

Ethan looked up and leaned back. "I gave Jack an ultimatum. I told him to chose between his vengeance and his family, us. He choose his vengeance. He has to live with the consequences of his choice."

Liam was silent for a moment, watching EJ playing with blocks. He asked, "If someone hurt EJ right in front of you, what would you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lets say you were at the park with EJ, and some grown up came along and twisted EJ's arm intentionally, EJ is screaming in pain and you're on the other side of the park. What do you do?"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "I would run over and break that fucker's neck."

"And in the middle of your fast speed to save your son and break that fucker's neck, your mother stood in front of you and said, no, violence is not the way. Don't do it. Mind you, EJ is still screaming and that fucker is still twisting his arm. But your mother, who you love, is trying to stop you, telling you to find another way or let it go. What do you do? And be 100% honest."

Ethan sighed, understanding he was the mother in this scenario. He was honest. "I would tell my mother I love her, move her out of the way, tell her I know, I understand, but some fuckers need to be taught a lesson. And I would avenge my son." Liam nodded. "Fuck!" Ethan yelled frustrated.

"At least you got an in-person goodbye. I got a see you later maybe, letter., Liam said, depressed.

"I just wish he would have told me everything in the beginning," Ethan whined.

"Would any of your choices to be with him be different?" Liam asked him seriously.