Blake Ch. 10

"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked as they both sat on the couch.

"Water, please. Thank you," Arthur said with a polite smile.

Vance reached into his coat and pulled out a flask. It wasn't even noon. Something must have been wrong.

"I'm all set."

As he tried to take a drink, Arthur ripped it away from him and hid it in his own coat. Vance threw his hands up, exasperated.

"He'll have water as well."

The entire time I was in the kitchen, I felt uneasy. Something had to have been wrong for them to show up here. Was something wrong with Blake? I couldn't think of any other reason why they were here. Oh God, I hoped he was all right. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him because of me.

I was a bundle of nerves when I returned to the living room. I waited patiently in the chair next to them for anyone to say something. Seconds of silence felt like hours. Placing the glass down on the table, Arthur finally spoke.

"Forgive the intrusion, my dear. I know you wish to have time to yourself given what has transpired between you and Blake. Although I am not too familiar on what has happened, it isn't my place to know." I wondered briefly, what he did know, but right now, I was more concerned with why they were here.

"Just cut to the chase, dad." It was as if Vance could read my mind.

Arthur faced me, with a look of dread falling upon his face; he took a deep breath as he spoke in the steadiest voice he could muster.

"We can't find Blake, Kaitlin."

My heart stopped. I could feel all the color drain from my face and all the air rush from my lungs.

"What do you mean?"

Arthur reached over and took my hand, trying to keep me calm. It did very little to accomplish his intent.

"After he saw your letter, he sprinted out of the office to go find you. He came back an hour later and locked himself in his office for the rest of the night. He eventually left around midnight, and we all assumed he was going home. But no one has seen or heard from him since."

"We've tried calling, texting, and emailing him," Vance said, staring at the table. He was visibly hurt when he spoke, but I couldn't figure out why. They hated each other, and yet, it seemed like Vance was on the verge of tears.

"We've checked his apartment, flight records, and usual hangouts. His car is still in its parking spot. We have private investigators looking for him, but they haven't found him yet. Aside from contacting the police, we have seemingly run out of options."

Arthur brought his free hand on top of mine, drawing my attention to him.

"We're incredibly worried about him. Is there any place you think he could've gone?"

I tried to scramble my mind to work. I thought back of our time together, thinking of any possible location. The memories of our supposed love were like a knife to my heart. I had to fight through the pain, for Blake's safety and well-being. Even though I was angry with him, I wasn't a heartless human being who didn't care about an emotionally unstable missing person.

As I ticked through all of our sexual romps and precious moments together, I found myself becoming enraged. All of it was a lie. It had never meant anything to him. I should have seen it with how he behaved at the Windmore the first time we had sex.

My mind froze. His words rang through my head, as if he were standing right next to me.

'...I use it as an excuse to escape crazy chicks...so I decided to come here.' He was escaping a 'crazy chick'. Me.

"The Windmore Hotel is the only place I can think of," I replied, still angered.

Arthur stood up and excused himself from the room to make a phone call. Vance was still lost in his own thoughts.

"You were right, you know," I said, gaining his attention. "He wasn't going to leave Desiree. I was just his play thing."

Vance slid down the length of the couch, closer to me.

"No I wasn't."

"I saw the ring, Vance."

He shook his head in disbelief.

"There's got to be a reason behind it."

"He's marrying her. There is no other explanation."

Vance ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated that I wouldn't believe him.

"Kaitlin, I have known Blake for much of my life. As much as we hate each other, and I would never admit this under normal circumstances, he is like a brother to me." I was shocked by his own admission. It explained why he was so upset by Blake's disappearance. If only Blake had known that he had more of a family in Vance and Arthur than he thought, he might not have run off.

"I've known every one of his girlfriends and sexual partners; I've even been with a few of them myself," Vance continued, trying to reach his point. "Out of the dozens of women he has been with, you are the only one whose departure has affected him at all."

"This doesn't make sense. If he loves me, why is he marrying Desiree?"

"I would love to know the answer to that as well. But I know he loves you. If it were me in his situation, I would be more devastated over the loss of our friendship than anything, but I wouldn't go as far as he is going. No man would act like this over a toy."

Vance was right. No man went to these extremes over a woman he cared nothing about. Maybe he did love me. But why the ring? Why the elaborate engagement set up with Desiree? None of this was making sense.

Arthur returned, looking relieved.

"Great news: they found him." Instantly, Vance and I were at ease. "He was wasted in the hotel bar. The P.I.s are bringing him back to your apartment, Vance. I don't think he should be on his own."

"Smart move. I'll call ahead to my cleaning lady and ask her to let them in and to take care of him until we get there."

Vance and Arthur headed for the door, with a new purpose. I followed behind them.

"I'm sorry that we must leave so abruptly, Kaitlin, but I must see to Blake," Arthur said, turning to me as he buttoned up his coat.

"Of course."

"Take your time in coming back. We'll talk everything over when you're ready." He gave me a quick hug and headed through the door. Vance quickly filled Arthur's vacant spot in front of me.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I'll get here as fast as I can."

"Thanks. I should be good."

"Okay," he said, rubbing my shoulder. "I got to go take care of my brother."

***

I waited until Tuesday rolled around to return to the city. I had given myself enough time to recover and figure out my plan of action. I also assumed that Blake had been taken care of, so I would be able to speak to Arthur when I went to retrieve my belongings from the office. I just wanted to be over all this and move on as soon as possible. I was like ripping a bandage off; you had to do it quickly.

I swung by my apartment first to drop off my bag. Desiree was up my ass the whole time, accusing me of ratting her out to Blake. When I told her I was moving out, she flipped shit. I ignored her as best I could while I was there, which was incredibly difficult given her loud mouth. When I left, I made sure to lock my bedroom door. I didn't trust her around my things. She had a habit of being destructive when she was angered.

When I arrived at AdVanceMent, I headed straight for Arthur's office. He did his best to persuade me to stay at the company, offering to move me to another building or move Blake, but none of it worked. I knew at some point, Blake would be CEO and my boss again. I just wanted a clean break. I agreed to work from home on the Xcel account until the launch of the ad campaign and he had found a suitable replacement for me. It was the least I could do for him.

When I arrived at my desk to gather my few remaining belongings, the door to Blake's office was closed. I tried to focus on completing my task as fast as possible, but my eyes kept wandering to the door. This was the closest I had been to Blake since Friday. I knew I should just get my things and leave, but I wanted answers. I needed some closure and I knew I was never going to get another chance.

I decided to go with the "take no prisoners approach". I was going to demand answers and not take "no" for an answer. After setting my mind straight, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Fuck off!" I heard a muffled voice say. I didn't exactly expect a cheery response after everything that happened.

I reached in my pocket and took out the key to his office. I unlocked the door and let myself in.

Blake was seated at his desk, his head in his arms. He was wearing just a black t-shirt and his hair was disheveled. I walked in slowly and shut the door behind me.

"Arthur, I really don't need an-" Blake stopped talking when he lifted his head and saw it was me.

He looked like hell. His icy blue eyes were dull and bloodshot. He had bags beneath them that showed he hadn't slept all weekend. His left eye was swollen and bruised. His usually clean-shaven face was covered in stubble. As he stood up, I noticed he was wearing a torn pair of blue jeans and an old pair of sneakers. He looked like he was here because someone told him to be here. I assumed Arthur didn't want him to be left alone again.

As I looked upon him in this state, I felt my resolve weakening. I wanted to run to him and comfort him, but the longer I looked at him, the easier it became to remember all the pain he had caused me. My anger was clashing with my sadness in a weird mixture of emotions. I found it difficult to keep myself steady as I fought not to cry, but also fought the urge to scream at him.

Blake paused and stared at me, deciding what to do next. He moved towards me slowly, almost as though he was trying to keep from frightening me.

"Kaitlin, I am so sor-"

"Don't." He stopped moving when I spoke. His voice had been so weak and raspy I almost broke down.

I moved to the chair across from his desk and sat down. I didn't look at him, but straight ahead at his vacant chair.

"You have five minutes to tell me everything" I began. "Every secret you kept from me, every reason you couldn't break up with her, everything about your relationship with her and with me."

Blake moved slowly, eventually settling down in front of me on his desk. My eyes drifted down to my hands; I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Arthur has been like a father to me. I would do anything for that man to repay him for everything he has done for me. A few months ago, he came to me for a favor that no one else wanted to do. He wanted me to date Carl's daughter."

"Why?"

"Carl has been a pain in the ass on the board for years. Every decision Arthur has made, he's had a problem with. Although he didn't have much control of the company by shares, he had a lot of influence over the other board members. Numerous times, Arthur tried to get him to sell his stocks, but he refused to give up control.

"Arthur had noticed that Carl was trying to set board members or their sons up with his daughter, Desiree. None of them would date her, but it gave Arthur an idea. If Carl thought his daughter would have some major influence in the company, maybe he would finally bow out."

"So you dated her," I sneered.

"Begrudgingly, yes." He lowered himself down to face me, looking into my eyes for the first time. "Had it been anyone other than Arthur, it would have been a resounding no."

I saw the pleading in his bloodshot eyes and it took all my being not to launch myself into his arms. I turned my face away from him. I wasn't going to let myself be weak.

"Continue."

His head dropped as he began again.

"As much as I hated being with her, I made her believe I loved her and I wanted a future with her. Everything was going accordingly, until I met you."

His hands reached up to the side of my face, forcing me to look at him. I bit my lip, trying to contain my emotions. He stared straight into by green eyes with blue ones.

"From the moment I met you, I wanted you. You were beautiful, witty, and clearly hardworking. You were all I thought about that night and the next day. When I finally had the opportunity to speak with you alone, you rebuffed me. I was upset and wanted to go talk, but when I got to your room, I was a man possessed. I couldn't control myself the first time I kissed you. I gave into my desires without a second thought. In truth, I hadn't realized what I had done until it was over, but I didn't regret it. It just made me want you that much more."

He pulled my face closer to his, our foreheads touching. My breathing became harsh as I was intoxicated by his closeness. He ran his nose against mine and his eyes were closed, lost in the happier times we had.

"Every time I saw you after that, it took every ounce of my strength not to kiss you; to pretend that I loved Desiree, when in reality, I was yearning for you. The first time I had sex with you, it was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. I had never felt what I had with anyone else. Each time I was with you after, I was falling for you more and more."

I was growing weaker with each passing word. The closeness made me want to lean forward just enough kiss his sweet lips. I pushed myself out of the chair and walked away from him, keeping my back to him as he continued to speak.

"I wanted the relationship with you, not with Desiree." I could hear him stride towards me. "I was regretting it every time I saw her face, but at the same time, I was thankful because it allowed me to be with you. By the time we were jetting off to California, I knew I was in love with you and I was going to do everything to show you."

My arms were wrapped tight around my chest, comforting me, trying to keep me together. Everything he was telling me was what I wanted to hear from him, but I didn't know how much I could believe. His actions had a history of contradicting his words.

"Why didn't you just tell me you loved me?" I asked, turning to face him.

Blake gently grabbed my shoulders, holding me while he spoke. His comforting touch was welcoming, but I didn't completely drop my guard. I couldn't around him.

"I didn't want that admission to be ruined by the fact that I still couldn't be with you completely; that I was still bound to Desiree."

"Did you tell Arthur how you felt about me?"

"In California, he saw how attached I was to you. He asked if I wanted out, if I wanted to be free from my obligation to Desiree so I could be with you."

I pushed away from him again, instantly upset. My emotions were fragile. It was like they were on a balance and the slightest word could swing them in favor of one side or the other.

"So you has an opportunity to get out of this mess and you chose not to?"

"At that point, we were so close to achieving what we intended, I couldn't look back."

"Then why didn't you at least tell me about yours and Arthur's plan?"

Blake brought his hand to my cheek.

"In retrospect, I should have and I am so sorry I didn't. I thought you would think less of me, like I was some kind of monster who used women for my own means."

"That's exactly what you managed to accomplish by not saying anything to me."

Blake dropped his head in shame. I moved across the room and sat on the edge of his desk. I couldn't look at him when he was like that because all I wanted to do was hold him and comfort him. I needed more answers.

"So, if you had no intention of marrying her, what's with the ring?"

"It had to be believable to Carl," he began, his back to me. "He openly admitted he would cash out when and if I married Desiree. I didn't want to marry her, so I made all the necessary preparations for an extravagant engagement: the ring, asking for her hand from her father, reservations at The Grandview. He bought it and cashed out on Friday."

"Yea, I saw the fax. Arthur wanted you to say hi to Desiree as well. You know, your future Mrs."

Blake let out a lighthearted chuckle as he turned to face me.

"That's Arthur's nickname for you. When we talk about you, he always calls you Mrs. Taylor because he knows how madly I am in love with you. He's never seen me happier than when I am with you."

My mind froze. Was I really that stupid? I had acted so impulsively that day when I read the fax I hadn't considered Arthur's meaning. Arthur knew of our scandalous behavior. Hell, he had walked in on us. The nickname was incredibly plausible given Arthur's personality. I was the one who was now ashamed as some of the strength of my argument was stripped away.

"If you weren't going to marry her, when were you planning on breaking it off?"

Blake started to move closer to me.

"When I heard from Vance that Carl cashed out, I left the charity event early to come and confess. I was going to ask you to text me the next time Desiree had her ex over so I could walk in and catch her in the act. When I got here, Vance was sitting at your desk, and told me I had to find you."

"Well, you planned that one pretty well."

"I didn't plan on you leaving me."

He was now standing in front of me and I could feel his gaze upon me. When I had enough strength to look up at him, I saw nothing but pain in his eyes, the same pain that had existed after I slept with Vance. My heart was breaking anew, knowing I had caused this pain.

"What did you expect me to do when I found out, Blake? It's not exactly a normal situation."

"I tried to explain it to you then, but you wouldn't let me."

I stood up and moved away from him again. I was mad he was trying to pin any of this on me, but he was right. I hadn't let him explain that day. I was in hysterics.

"Of course not," I began to justify, more to myself than to him. "I was pissed. I was upset. I was confused."

I turned to face him.

"You've been sending me through an emotional rollercoaster from the beginning. You've been cryptic about your intentions, confusing with how you handle Desiree, and insane with jealousy over my friendship with Vance. It was exhausting and frustrating."

As if it were possible, Blake's face was filled with more pain at my confession, but he nodded in agreement. Our secrecy that was intended to protect our relationship was what had destroyed it. That was completely clear to me now and judging by Blake's expression, he knew it too.

"After finding the ring, I was over it all," I continued. "I wanted out. I had trusted you to protect me and be honest with me and you did neither."

"Do you still want out?" he asked his face cold and hard as stone.

That was the real question, wasn't it? Could I forgive him for everything he had done? Was it even possible to rebuild a relationship after all the destruction? Did I even want him anymore?

"I don't know. This is a lot of information to process. I need some time alone."

I turned for the door, completely conflicted.

"Please don't go," he begged.

I hesitated for a moment, considering staying, but I knew I shouldn't, and this time, I was going to listen to my mind.

"Blake, this is the best you're going to get from me. Don't push it."

***

During the next day and a half, I locked myself in my room and packed my few belongings. I wanted to be alone to think about what Blake had said, but I found myself conflicted. I didn't know what I could believe of his story. Even if everything he had told me was true, I still had trouble forgiving him for everything that had happened.

One thing I knew for certain was that I didn't hate him. Try as I might, I couldn't. He wanted to do something for Arthur, who he has considered his father for years. If my father had asked me to do something similar, I would have without question. I couldn't even hate him for not telling me because if he did, I don't think I would have believed him at the time.

The only thing I could hate him for was acting on his love for me. But could I really fault him for that? No, I couldn't because I had acted on my feelings for him as well. I had instigated the first time we slept together. I was just as guilty.