Bless the Broken Road Ch. 02

I had to grab the reins from Jessie and Rob. They were getting way out of hand. Last chapter was like a nitrous fueled rollercoaster ride. This one we slow down to hum drum life. It took a lot longer to write than I wanted. But life has a way of waiting until you finalize your plans before dumping a truckload of monkey wrenchs into it and then calling her BBF Karma to make sure I've more than paid for any past digressions. Because of the delay, I didn't have time to send it out for review so my backup editor Bill Gates took the job. Any errors are his and I encourage people to send their complaints to him.

This is not a stand alone story so you should read Chapter 1 before reading this if you haven't already. Comments are always welcome.

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We sat for a while, her with a death grip on my arm, both her beautiful legs propped up and over my leg, and me, trying to get over my monster hangover wondering what in the hell I'd gotten myself into. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't unhappy in the least in meeting Jessie. But everything about my life was now in turmoil and upside down and I was unsure how to handle it. I did want to enjoy this moment with her, as much as I could. It made the hangover a little more tolerable.

I was hoping she'd fall back asleep. I knew last night was a bonehead move on my part. Her first night here and I left her alone. What a fucking idiot I was! Just because I was mad and hurt. I acted like a spoiled child and it made her cry. 'I' made her cry. When I thought about it in those terms, I got really pissed at myself. I would NOT let that happen again.

After a bit, her breathing became regular and I hoped I could get up without waking her. I started to untangle myself from her. The bottle of Ibuprofen was calling my name. I walked in a semi roundabout way into the kitchen and managed to find the bottle. When I turned around, Jessie was leaning against the doorway, arms folded in front, looking at me in a less than enthusiastic way.

"Am I sleeping in the doghouse tonight?" I asked.

"Do you have a doghouse?"

"No."

"Then I guess you're stuck sleeping in the house with me. When you are back with the living, can we talk?" she asked.

Nothing cuts deeper into a man's heart more than hearing those three words. That I did remember. And now, I was experiencing that feeling again. I looked in the pill bottle as I shook it.

"Looks like I have enough pills to cover it. Sure."

"Sit down before you fall down and I'll see what there is to make for breakfast." Somewhere she found pancake batter. I didn't know I had any. I've never made myself pancakes that I remember. The bacon I knew I had although the 'Use By' date could be very suspect. Jessie cooked it up so I assume either she looked at the date or else it wasn't green. I know I was a tad hung over and starving but the food was the best tasting I'd had in recent memory.

"Jessie, who is the lawyer handling your divorce?"

"His name is Kevin...Kevin Byler. Why?"

"I want to make sure that your divorce goes as it should."

If Jack had the cops in his pocket I thought, there is no telling who else is there. I wondered WHY Jack would have the cops in his pocket? There are a couple reasons that come to mind. If you grew up in the area and knew them is one. Or you interact with them such as being a business owner. Or you are related. None of which Jack seemed to fit. The other way is you have them on your payroll to look the other way. Which seemed more likely given the way the Deputy acted.

Where is Jack originally from?

"He said he grew up in Tennessee but had been living in this area a little while before we met."

"You mentioned he had business associates. What kind of business is he involved in? He sure doesn't seem like the farmer type."

"He has a fertilizer business. Shortly after he started at the farm, he told me that he had tinkered in the past with coming up with some new types of fertilizer. He wanted to experiment some more and refine them at the farm. So he set up in the bottom of the barn and came up with some pretty good stuff. He tested it at the farm and some worked pretty well. After making some money, he built a building away from the house to make it because it sometimes had a strong chemical smell."

Fertilizer? I think that is a load of shit. I'm not buying it I thought to myself. Why do you need a cop on your payroll for a legit manufacturing business?

"What's with all the questions?" She looked at me with honest questioning interest.

"I'm trying to figure some things out that aren't quite adding up. What can you tell me about your lawyer?"

"I called several. They were closer to or in Canton. One of the early questions I asked was, what was a reasonable cost for a divorce? The cost varied widely due to all kinds of circumstances but a basic, no issue divorce was going to be around 7,000 to 10,000. After a few of those, I looked closer to home hoping it would be a little cheaper. I finally settled on Kevin. He is young, I think younger than me. But he seemed different than any lawyer I've ever dealt with. More down to earth and genuine I guess you could say. I gave him the background of my case, a rundown of what my finances were like, and I told him cost was a difficult issue for me. He told me that he would accept my case and we would worry about the cost later. "

Oh...that stopped me dead in my tracks. An ambulance chaser not concerned about money? No, there was something else going on here and I didn't like it. A very young attorney has a gorgeous woman walk into his office, in a bad situation, needing a divorce but she doesn't have money? I know how he is expecting to be paid.

"Alright, well I want to talk with him, if that is alright with you. I want to get a feel for him and see how the case is progressing."

"Yes. That would be great. Thank you." She smiled happily at me.

After breakfast, I went into my study to call my lawyer.

"HELL-o." said the gravely voice of my ancient attorney Eugene Simmons. Actually he is the company's attorney but as one of the owner's, he also acts as my personal attorney. As Mel Brooks once said, 'It's good to be the King'.

"Rip Van Winkle! Good to see you are still above ground."

"Oh Christ. If I'd a know'd you were gonna call today I would've forced a pillow over my face this morning." he said sarcastically.

"Well, everyone knows that doesn't work on the undead. But if by some miracle it had, you would have definitely ended up in a much warmer climate with plenty of people you know and have something in common with." I said equally sarcastically.

"It would be better company than what I have right now. So what kind of trouble are you in this time?"

"Why do you always assume the worst?" I asked.

"I know you. It's the only time you call me."

"I need you to check into someone and I need it fast."

"How fast?" he asked.

"This time tomorrow."

"Holy shit. You got a hot date?" he said in a somewhat enthusiastic tone.

"No. I need you to check on a fellow ambulance chaser."

"You really are in hot water aren't you?"

"It is for a friend. She is trying to get a divorce. This guy is handling her case and I want to make sure everything is on the up and up."

"What's the attorney's name, her name and what county was it filed in?" he asked.

"It would be Carroll County, his name is Kevin Byler and her name is Jessie. It was filed within the last couple weeks."

"Jessie is her legal name?"

"I don't know. I just know its Jessie. Could be short for Jessica."

"What is her last name?"

"I don't know. I've never asked her." I said, beginning to get annoyed at the stupid line of questioning.

"Well where does she live?"

"Right now, at my place."

"Wait...say that again?"

"She's living here at the moment. She can't go back home."

"Let me see if I've got this straight. You have a married woman living there that is in the process of a divorce and you don't even know her name? Let me guess...she has a bunch of kids right?" his tone beginning to sound like he was warming up for a kill shot.

"Yes she does. I don't know how many for sure. But they aren't staying here. They are with relatives."

"Which is where she should be. Have you gone nuts?"

"Gene I don't need a sermon..."

"No, you need a Psychiatrist. Did you get the plate number of the turnip truck that ran you over yesterday and caused your brain damage?" I didn't have to see him to know he had a huge shit eating grin on his face.

"Look. I have a handle on this."

"She must be one hell of a piece of ass for you to let her run roughshod over you this bad."

"Not everyone is as miserable as you are." I said, making it known I was thoroughly annoyed now.

"Who said I was miserable? I've been a lawyer for too long to not have an understanding of human nature. All I'm saying is that if it sounds too good to be true, it is. Let me get on this. Just be careful, okay?" he said in a sincere tone.

"I always am. This is going to be okay."

"You ever hear the parable of the scorpion and the frog?" Gene asked.

"Uh...not sure. I don't really have a clear head at the moment..."

"No truer words were ever spoken." He quickly added.

I sat there for a bit to mull over his words. Gene is a cantankerous old fart but there is always a lot of wisdom if you dig deep enough. And I didn't really have to dig at all. I summed it all up myself. I DON'T know her last name. I DON'T know how many kids she has. I don't even know if she really HAS kids. I did see toys in the house but that isn't exactly proof. I'll know soon enough if the divorce story is true. God dammit Gene! Why did you put this shit in my head? I really needed to talk to Madeline.

When I walked back into the kitchen, Jessie was finishing cleaning up the breakfast dishes.

"Are you back with the living?" Jessie asked.

"Not exactly. But something has come up. I need to go meet with someone and then I'll be back as soon as I can. I know I said we would talk and we will. I just need to get this out of the way first. Is that okay? It is really important."

Jessie looked a bit disappointed but said if it was important, to take care of it. She would be here when I was through.

"I'm really sorry about this. This came up during my phone call and I need to deal with it right now.

"Go, go, go." She started shooing me out of the kitchen. "But take a shower first. You smell like a whiskey barrel."

When I got into the bathroom, I called Madeline.

"Mrs. Danner. Hi, this is Bob Martin. How are you? Are you able to meet with me?"

"Bobby Martin? OH MY GOD! It is so good to hear from you! It has been a good while since we spoke. Too long. Part of that is my fault. How are you doing?"

"I need to talk. Are you free?" I asked quickly and to the point.

"Yes. I'm always available for you. But you sound a bit agitated. Is everything okay?"

"I don't think so. That's why I need your help. Can you meet me at the usual place?" I asked.

"When?"

"An hour."

"Give me two and I'll be there." She said.

"Thank you. See you then."

I got my shower and headed out the door. The tavern was 45 minutes away so that gave me some time to sort through my thoughts. The Corner Tavern...so called because it's a tavern that sits on a corner, is a small, ancient bar that is disinteresting enough to not have the younger crowd invade it. It probably predates Prohibition. Which means it is a nice, quiet, laid back place. Just the way I like it. I said hello to Nickii, the bartender, ordered a beer and a long island ice tea, and grabbed the corner booth.

Madeline Danner walked into the place like she owned the runway she thought she was walking on. Every head in the place turned...all three of them. Her movements were graceful and smooth, yet at a determined pace. At 50, she still had the body of a middle aged woman. Her hair looked longer, light brown, big loose curls and down to the bottom of her shoulder blades. Anyone who didn't know her would say she was the quintessential MILF. Full, breasts, full hips and the dress she had on showed really long and beautiful legs.

She came straight back to the corner and I stood up and gave her a hug.

"Hi Mrs. Danner. You look lovely as always." I said. She stepped back from the hug to look me in the eye. She studied me for a couple seconds, then forced out a smile to cover her concern and smacked me on the arm.

"My name is Maddie, or Madeline. How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me Mrs. Danner? And besides, I'm no longer Mrs. Danner. That story is for another time though." We sat down and she looked me over again.

"You look different. I can't exactly put my finger on it yet but I will. It's good to see you. What have you been up to?" she asked.

"Well, same old same old until two days ago. Then, I guess the world turned upside down. I'll get to that in a minute. But first, how is Melissa?" I asked.

"She'll be happy to hear you asked about her. She's doing well I think. She doesn't confide much in me about her therapy but in all other things, she does. I think she may be close to wanting to start to date."

"Wow...that's great. I'm glad to hear that. I know it has been especially hard for her. I wish things would have been a lot different for her. It's been awhile since she and I spoke. I feel bad about that." I added.

"Well, ever since that incident at the park, you have been the only male she has trusted outside of family. She really held out hope that you would come back when you got out of the Marines. She has been so afraid to trust anyone else for so long. But I think she has enough self-esteem and confidence now to try it." Madeline really did seem happy that her daughter was coming out of her shell.

"Tell her that I'd be more than happy to screen prospective dates for her and she better call with any questions and problems." I said with genuine concern.

"I'll tell her. Now...enough about her. I want to know what is going on with you."

I took a deep breath, looking away for a moment to summon all my courage, then decided it was time to pay the fiddler.

"I've met someone." I stopped, waiting for the inevitable.

"OH MY GOD!" Her mouth dropped open, then she quickly covered it with her hands. She looked really excited for a couple seconds. Then...she didn't.

"Oh My God Bobby!" Now I saw the look I was hoping not to see. It was concern but also fear.

"Bobby, how are feeling right now?"

"Really confused. A lot of emotions that I'm not sure I want, or like, are popping up all over the place. I'm having difficulty sometimes dealing with them. But the one I'm afraid of the most, is anger."

"I'm not surprised. I've never discussed this with you before but I think we need to do it right now. Do you know why you were never diagnosed with PTSD? She asked

"Not really. I thought I didn't develop it because I'd worked through enough when I was a private security contractor."

"No, that isn't it at all. PTSD has several factors involved that determine if you have it, and how bad you have it. The critical thing that you have to have in order to have PTSD... are emotions. And depending on how mentally and emotionally strong you are will determine how badly you suffer from it. Strong emotions, usually fear or guilt, coupled with a weak ability to control those emotions, leads to a severe case. Even if you have suffered very traumatically, if you have a strong ability to handle your emotions and keep them in check, you may have only a slight case of it or not at all."

"In your case, you completely blocked off all emotions. With no emotion or feeling, there is no PTSD. Period. As long as you kept those emotions buried, you were okay. But I knew that if those ever came to the surface, with what you experienced, all bets were off as to what kind of apocalypse might happen. Having those feeling suddenly flood back into you after such a long time would be traumatic in and of itself. But couple that with what you experienced and..."

She stopped. She had been sort of speaking her mind aloud, and then realized that the traumatized person she was speaking of was sitting across from her listening, and maybe I didn't need to hear everything that she knew from the clinical standpoint.

"So, who did you meet and how did the emotions returning occur?" She was now in pure therapist mode.

I explained to her how I met Jessie. How I felt when I first saw her. How I almost shot her husband. How she had been abused by him; the events at the 7-11. Then waking up with her at the motel. That is when I stopped. Part of the reason I stopped was because I assumed she must be exhausted and need a rest from constantly shaking her head back and forth, and alternating between just having her mouth open to mouthing the words 'oh no' and 'oh my god'.

"Bobby, I'd be incredibly shocked by that story if it came from anyone else but you. Knowing you as well as I do, I'm a little ashamed to admit I'm not all that surprised."

"Mom always said I was the predictable type."

"Do you understand how much untangling may be involved in this? It would take a team of people years to unravel this."

"Well, I don't have years. There is more if you think you are rested up enough." She looked shocked.

"Go on, if you feel up to it." She said hesitantly.

So I told her about how all this started messing with my head. I couldn't think straight. Mental errors in short term memory. Then when we went to Jessie's house and I almost shot her husband again, along with a deputy. The anger when I realized Jessie knew about my past. How I felt about that. Getting drunk and having Lisa visit again. And waking up with Jessie sleeping on my shoulder.

"Okay, that brings me up to today when I spoke with my Attorney Gene. He really screwed me up." I explained that to her. Then the defense rested.

"Jesus Bobby. I can't believe you are holding together as well as you are. Do you want to go into a facility or think medication might help you?"

"I don't know Mrs. Danner. I'm just confused about how I'm feeling. And I'm afraid if my anger gets out of control, I might hurt Jessie." At that point I had to stop. I was feeling..., fuck I don't know how exactly I was feeling but this feeling shit sucked.

"Bobby, I think you have reverse engineered your fear to fit the idea that it is due to your anger. Your anger isn't really what you fear."

"What do you mean?"

"You were angry with Jessie's husband. What happened as soon as he left?" she asked.

"As soon as her husband left, I turned to find Jessie in a fetal position up against the car. I went over to her because she was scared to death and I tried to calm her down."

"Were you afraid of what you might do to her in your anger?"

NO! Of course not! I wasn't upset at her. I was worried about her."

"But you were pissed off. Pissed enough that you were going to shoot her husband. So why didn't you worry that you might hurt her in your anger?

"Because it wasn't an issue. It wasn't even the furthest thing from my mind because it was never in my mind to begin with. I found she was incredibly scared and upset and I needed to help her any way I could."

"Exactly. Second question. When you found out she knew some of your past, you were mad at her. What happened then?" she asked in a more confident tone.

"I had yelled at her to stay where she was, to not follow me, and I walked away. I had Hoss take her back to the terminal."

"Apparently she spent the night at your house. How did you go from being thoroughly pissed at her to sleeping with her on your couch?"

I'd promised her that she could stay at the house for safety reasons and she came with me, after a little persuasion. I got drunk and slept on the couch. When I woke up, Jessie was sleeping up against me."