Breaking My Resistance

I decided again that I would stop everything that could be considered a fling or an affair or extracurricular sex. I had gotten too obsessed with it. I went back to my normal routine but had been avoiding the gym for a while. There was really only one gym I liked going to but I was sure that I would run into Frank there. I started back a week ago deciding to just be honest with him about my decision. I hadn't seen him until today. We worked out together and had some nice conversation. I was positive my decision was going to work out alright. We walked to the locker room together. When we were there I checked to be sure no one else was there. Before I could say anything he did.

"Hey, so you want to come over?" He asked.

"Um, no. I can't." I responded.

"Oh, really, something happen?"

"Yeah, I just uh, it isn't working out for me. It was taking over my life and I just have to focus on other things." I explained.

"Really, are you sure?"

"Yes." I said. He picked up his phone. I showered, dressed and left. I didn't see him on the way out so I guessed he left while I showered.

When I got to my car I got a text from him. It had a link and a note that it was important. It sent me to some amateur or homemade porn site. Ok, I thought, porn isn't going to change my mind. It started playing. Two guys were sitting on a couch naked. One had just started to feel the other's cock. It was a nice hefty cock too. Things started heating up and he bent over to replace his hand with his mouth. I watched the cock appear and disappear. It took a minute for me to stop focusing on the cock and look at the faces. Shit, that is me sucking. That is his cock. That is his living room. I sat freaking out while I watched a public video of the first blowjob I gave. I let it play. Our whole sex scene was there. I watched as I voluntarily let him take my anal virginity. Not just that but my enjoyment was obvious. I was feeling so confused. I should be upset at the violation. I was so worked up though, I couldn't feel the anger.

I thought about it trying to wrap my feelings around what happened. What did he really do that should have upset me. Recording me. Well I was in his house, his living room. Everything I did was voluntary. I should have thought about the camera on his laptop being pointed straight at me. Posting it should definitely upset me. If someone I know sees it I will be outed. Well, if anyone I know finds it, it just means they're looking at gay porn. Seems like maybe it's not too much of a risk.

It was all my fault from my choices. I wasn't expecting him to delete the video if I came to him angry or aggressively. I decided to call.

"Did you like that?" Is how he answered the phone.

"Well, it's more that I don't want anyone I know to know what I've done let alone see a video of me doing it."

"I enjoy our time together. I don't want it to end. It's easy for me to find willing bottoms whenever but I want you."

"Uhhhm" was the best I could come up with.

"Just stop by now and we'll talk." He said calmly but it was definitely not a request. Shit.

"Ok, twenty minutes. I'll be there." Shitty shit. He has to listen to me, to reason.

I knocked on the door and waited. He answered still in his workout clothes. Sweaty and smelly he let me in. We sat in the living room, in the same seats as the video. I scanned the room for obvious cameras but didn't find any. Well if there are at least I am dressed this time.

I opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out quickly enough. He started.

"I have all of your contacts from your phone. You left it unlocked when you were in the bathroom one time. But like I said I'm not trying to ruin your life. I just want to fuck." Shit, that's a new development. It's the wrong time in my life to come out. The knowledge would change too much.

"Look," I started. "I can't have this out now. Please don't send it. Ok, I will do what you want just keep us private. Please..." he didn't say anything.

"Please don't tell anyone. I will do what you want. You can record us again. I'll come over or meet you when you want." I pleaded for his cooperation.

"Ok, you have to prove it now." He left the room to return with his laptop. He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. He set up the laptop pointing the camera at the bed. He started the video camera on his phone setting it on the nightstand for a second angle. I accepted my fate as the choice to keep things private. I moved to the side of the bed to be in the view of both cameras. I stripped slowly starting to prove to him I was willingly cooperating. He smiled and pulled a camera bag from his closet. Geez, three cameras, ok. I guess it is going to be that way. He set the third to capture another view.

When he was done I walked to him. I pulled his t-shirt over his head, moving it away with one hand while resting the other on his chest. I dropped the shirt and put that hand on the other side of his chest. I slowly ran my hands down, playing gently with his nipples as I passed them. I moved my hands the rest of the way to his waistband. His shorts and boxers were easy work to slip down to the floor. My face was against his chest so I put my mouth on a nipple. I teased it before moving to the other. I left it with a quick bite before standing. I turned him to sit on the bed and instructed him to lay back. His gorgeous cock pointed straight up seven inches from his untrimmed bush. His hairy balls had hung lower when he spread his legs a bit apart. I spread his legs further refusing to admit to myself that I was admiring his balls. They had to be twice the size of mine. I could smell the sweat persistent from his workout earlier. I moved closer holding his cock in one hand as I put my tongue on his leg. I licked from mid-thigh up to his sac.

The salty sweat overwhelmed my senses as I circled my tongue around his balls. I gently enveloped one in my mouth. I massaged it with my tongue as I sucked the sweat off. When the saltiness dissipated I moved to the other. Then I moved below them to get the rest of the sweat across my face. The smell stuck in my nose and across my face. I heard him moan when I took a ball in again. This was for my pleasure though. I licked along his leg to his hip to collect more sweat and scent, then matched the move on his other leg. My sense of smell was overpowered with him so I moved my mouth to the head of his cock. Precum had started pooling in his bush so I quickly moved to clean it up. It tasted wonderful. I took the head of his cock in my mouth. I massaged the front below the head before taking more in. I started taking him in and out while taking a bit more each time. Slowly I had started deep throating him. I paused holding my breath when I had him completely in. I remembered that this is the cock I had learned on. I was so lucky to not have a gag reflex with a cock buried deep in my throat. I pulled off to take a breath before taking his cock in again. I started a rhythm again sucking his cock in. He was grinding his hips matching my pace and really vocalizing his pleasure. I felt comfortable in my place knowing I would be rewarded shortly. He started to cum. I realized one camera was pointed straight at my face, one was at the side and the other probably focused on my spread ass cheeks. I swallowed his pulses of cum as they squirted in my mouth. I swirled a bit around too, knowing I would savor the taste as long as possible. I sat back on the bed with a smile on my face. He would have another video of me blowing him and swallowing his cum. I felt so degraded but I liked it. I knew he would post this session on that porn site too.

He would need a few minutes to recover. I knew he would be able to go again. I needed something for my nerves. I was starting to feel panic about the videos, the proof of our tryst. I went to his kitchen and found his alcohol. I took the bottle of vodka and a glass pouring a triple shot. I drank it quickly before pouring a double. It amplified the taste of him in my mouth before it washed some out. I finished the second and poured another triple. I stood feeling the warmth and buzz take over my body and mind. It helped me relax. I drank the third drink and returned to the bed.

I was relaxed and ready to take his cock again. I didn't have a choice and I knew I would like it. I really needed it again. I thought back to the first time he fucked me remembering how great and satisfying it was. He made eye contact when I was in the bedroom. I smiled and said I was thirsty. I smiled again seeing his cock was ready to go again. I ran my tongue from his balls to his cock head before laying on the bed.

"How do you want me?" I asked.

"Doggie." he responded. I turned over and lifted myself onto my knees. I looked straight into the camera on the nightstand as he moved behind me. I was feeling overwhelmed by the vulnerability. My ass was exposed to him giving him full access. It was a new feeling waiting for him to touch me knowing it was all being recorded. I started to really worry about the videos. I felt so alone that a tear dripped from my eye to the bed leaving a drop soaking into the sheet. Seeing one started a second. I closed my eyes suddenly feeling his cock touching my entrance. I didn't feel, see or hear him put lube on me or him but he must have. The head popped into me when he pushed. Now I felt drops landing on my asshole and probably on his cock. He pushed his cock in the rest of the way. I moaned uncontrollably in response. His cock stretching my whole and sliding on my prostate.

I forgot about all of my worries and looked into the camera. I kept eye contact with it while he started fucking me. It felt so good I couldn't believe I tried to stop meeting him. My ass relaxed and he started really working me. He alternated from pounding my ass hard to stroking it long and slow. My ass felt so sensitive to his touch. I could feel the head and all the details on his cock as it slid in and out. I just needed to feel him coming in me. I took the phone recording us from the nightstand and put it under us. I pointed the camera up to record his balls slapping my each time he bottomed out in me. It recorded his cock pulling most of the way out before plunging back in. It caught his ass flexing as he moved and my balls jiggling around each time I accepted his cock.

Suddenly his moans turned to groans. His pace increased and his balls swung to me faster. He stiffened and planted his cock balls deep in me. I felt the first pulse of his cock with my ass squeezed tight around him. He yelled something I couldn't hear over my own ecstasy. His cock pulsed and pulsed, throbbing endlessly in me.

Suddenly I felt complete. I understood that taking his cock to the raw finish in me was what I really needed. It doesn't matter if anyone else knows. I pushed back against his cock hoping to keep him in me. He leaned forward onto me resting his weight on my legs and arms. I was already shaky from holding myself and from being fucked so my legs slipped back making my arms bend dropping me to the bed. He landed on me and we laid like that for a while.

He lifted off of me and laid next to me on the bed. We slept for a bit before he stood up.

"I have to shower before my wife gets home." he said. He bent to kiss me passionately. "I'll send you links to the new videos. Show yourself out, ok?"

"Ok." I responded, completely ignoring his comment about his wife. It would register later. I stood and walking out of the bedroom before dressing. Even without the threat of sharing the first video with my family, friends and coworkers he had me. The videos would be my excuse for feeling owned by him.