Breaking the Rules Pt. 15

Dayo looked up at Nuru and gave him a warning look.

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that-" Nuru started.

"Yes, of course. We're all looking for badge opportunities," Kunto whispered, blushing a little. "Sorry again about that."

"Pff. We don't need no stinkin' badges," Dayo muttered.

"I do like to make friends where I can find them, for example," Nuru continued.

"Tally up the split and I'll let you get back to that then," Kunto whispered.

"It might be a minute. Do you terribly mind answering a personal question?"

"Not at all. But you might not like that answer," Kunto whispered.

"Well you had a lisp a minute ago. But you're speaking perfectly normal now. What happened there?"

"Oh, that? I have a bit of an impediment, owing to my... heritage." She flicking the air with a long, forked tongue.

"Ah," Nuru said, waiting expectantly.

"And well... when I'm emotionally stirred, it tends to interfere with my diction. I have since calmed."

"Well not to put too fine a point on it, your snakey bits are, er, mostly on the bottom half, from what I can tell," Nuru said.

She inclined her head in agreement, but said nothing.

"So, er, what heritage is it that you have?" Nuru said.

"Lamiae."

"I apologize if I'm being rude. I've never met one of you before. I don't remember ever hearing about being able to resist an Arcane Blast. Should I pass this along so that scholars can help people identify you?"

"I rather you didn't. It does confer some advantage."

"You're not just a lamia, are you?" Ace said. "You're a gorgon."

She hissed, her eyes narrowing to slits. "You are persssssceptive."

"Ah geez, you can turn me to stone!?" Nuru said, stepping back and holding a hand up so he couldn't see her face.

"That's not how it works, although they like to spread that rumor to make people look away and put themselves at a disadvantage," Ace said. "Fortunately, we're on the same side here."

Kunto took a deep breath. "It is true. The only flesh I can turn to stone is my own."

"Wow. How do you do that?" Nuru said.

"Earth magic," Ace said. "I've never heard exactly how it works though."

"You are well versed," Kunto whispered.

"He's probably fascinated with the morphology," Nuru said. "His girlfriend is a mermaid."

"Hey! I don't go volunteering *your* love life to strangers we meet," Ace protested.

"No, you volunteer it every time you introduce yourself," Nuru said. "Mister Ace. Care to explain what that stands for?"

"Keeps life interesting. Never expected it to be interesting this way though," Ace muttered. "Uh, so, it's short for 'asexual'. As in, I don't get physical with anyone, or have any interest in doing so."

Kunto lowered the lance, pulled out a bone saw, and started tearing away at the ogre's shoulder. Dayo tilted their head to watch, before finishing the division of loot.

"I wondered, once he said it, how you could work with those incompatibilities," Kunto whispered. "Apologies if I am hard to hear. I do not have the vocal cords you humans do in your throat. I cannot make sounds at a pitch you would call speaking. I can only hiss and whisper loudly."

"Sounds a bit inconvenient," Nuru said.

"We also have nonverbal ways to communicate. Our hearing and smell are sharper than yours, from what I am told. We have emotional pheromone expression and I often tap my tail to tell my brothers and sisters simple facts."

"Mermaids do a lot of clicking to answer simple questions, too," Ace said.

"Perhaps we are not so different," Kunto hissed, tearing the ogre's arm free and biting a sizeable chunk out of the meat. "You wish to know how the lamiae live, do you not."

She couldn't pitch her voice up to make it an obvious question, but Nuru took it as such.

"I'm quite fascinated, yes," he said.

"We live in nests, tended by the Matriarch which spawned us. Those of us in the nest carry a scent to know each other; some of us are nearly blind. When the nest overflows, or the Matriarch dies, we scatter far and wide to create new nests, and become our own Matriarch. Few of us carry a special feat passed down through our parentage. Sometimes, one or two in a litter can become a gorgon, and will become the warrior and protector of the nest. I will tell you this secret, in payment of the debt between us. The earth magic is found in the heart of a gargoyle. We who choose to take the trial will powderize it and mix in our food or drink, and those who can control the petrification are deemed a gorgon, and allowed to consume greater quantities of the dust. Those who cannot, take weeks or months to recover."

"That's quite a secret. Why would you tell that to an outsider? Not that I don't appreciate knowing, that is most intriguing," Nuru said.

"We do not wish to leave any bad feelings about the stolen kill as we conclude our business here. Should you overcome me, or follow me back to the nest, it would be disastrous for us. My brothers, sisters, and Matriarch would all be in great danger. I have little else I can offer in recompense."

"!Rai Magudana!" Dayo cast, pulling the ogre's soul into the lantern.

"What do you think, Dayo, is that fair?" Nuru said.

"Can I uh... talk to you for a minute? In private?" Dayo said.

"Sure," Nuru said, following them several steps away. "Alright, what's up?"

"Gods, I am so embarrassed. Are you going to make me tell her? I realize now I was acting very childish, it's just in the heat of the moment-"

"Dayo, I'm pretty sure it's fine. She's not judging your moral standing so much as worried about the safety of her nest, from the sound of it."

"You're... sure? She's not going to make fun of me? I'm really bad at this dealing-with-new-people thing if you haven't noticed. Or people in general."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about."

The valkyrie took a deep breath. "Alright. Let's do this, then."

They walked back, and Dayo hefted a loot sack, and held it out as an offering.

"Here. This is Ace's share, which he promised to give you. Don't worry about that last hit on the ogre, we really cut it close on this battle, and I appreciate you being willing to help out a stranger. We're adventurers that might have a quest to collect lamia pelts or something for all you know, it occurs to me. So you lent a hand at great personal risk. Thank you for your help today."

"It was an honor, and a joy. I am led to believe you do not have any such quest requiring harm to me."

"No, we're just getting ready to go make trouble for the Legion tomorrow," Ace grinned.

Kunto hissed. "We know of them. The monster hunter faction, some call them. Many lamiae have fallen to their blades, many nests have burned, and if anyone has a quest for our hides, it would be them. If my lance may be of service in your quest, you may have it."

"Dayo, can Blobby use the lance?" Nuru said.

The necromancer shook their head. "I'm pretty sure that's not what she means."

"Oh," Nuru said. "You're offering to join us?"

"I am," Kunto hissed, smiling wickedly and flicking her tongue. "Name the time and place; I and my lance shall be there."

"I hope you can ignore bad smells, Kunto," Ace said. "Those guys are going to shit themselves seeing you there, and it's not going to be pretty."

"I shall suffer it gladly," the lamia whisper-shouted. "Hissss, it shall be like music for my nose."

Nuru gave her instructions to his rally point. "Dawn we strike. Don't be late, please."

Kunto bowed, took her lance and her snack, and slithered away. The group moved on to collect soul and loot from the other ogre.

"Is it weird that I feel really good about tomorrow?" Nuru said.

Dayo looked at him. "I hope you're not jinxing it. I've never done anything like this without the faction backing me up before."

"I'm with Nuru on this," Ace said. "They're not going to know what hit them."

"I guess I'm afraid of you hating me if we fail. A lot of this rests on my undead," Dayo said. "I've failed before. It sucked, but it was just me disappointed. If I screw up now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to travel with you again. Not just because Chibale will be back, but... I won't feel worthy to even be there."

Nuru put an arm around their shoulder. "I hope when this works, you'll be willing to take as much credit for the success as you were if it failed."

"...I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow morning," Dayo said, pulling away. "I need to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."

"Um, it's only noon," Ace said.

"Still. It's even more important now..." the valkyrie said.

"We should at least get some specter boars as a fallback, don't you think?" Nuru said.

"Yes... yes, of course, you're right. Ace? You know the best way to track wild boars?"

"I know they are aggressive, and will attack predators."

Tusa crept in from the brush where he'd been hiding.

"How you feel about pork for dinner?" Nuru grinned at him.

Tusa brayed excitedly, and the others all covered their ears, but needed no translation. They spent the evening following the lyena's nose, and staying close to him; Ace set up a few quick traps, and Dayo set about taking position in a bush when Tusa thought they were getting close. When the boar charged, Dayo would Shadow Walk in, lay in a heavy hit with the scythe, and let Tusa track them wherever they ran and bled to death, if it was not crippled or killed outright. Ace had his hands full with the last herd of over twenty animals, driving and leading away the rest of the pack with a steady barrage of arrows, so the party wouldn't be overwhelmed. Nuru could not predict the movements of any of the combatants, and could not assist much with any buffs. He settled for helping Ace with the herding, using the hellfire ball. Once the herd broke, however, he had to go back and throw dirt on a few bushes that had caught fire and put them out.

"Gods below, that's so much easier with a party," Dayos said, having pulled in over a dozen boar souls.

"Glad to help," Ace said. "I vote it's time to call it a day. Nuru?"

"Agreed. Everybody get some good sleep, and let's pwn these egoistic fools," Nuru said.

Ace went to discuss with Furaha, Dayo went to briefly join before heading home, and Nuru went back to his cave to hide from any watchers.

*****

Dawn came at the rally point, and Nuru found he had hardly slept. He followed along with everyone to the far entrance of town, where he didn't normally go, closer to the Legion property overlooking a bluff. They touched a few points of strategy on the way and donned matching robes that hid their identities somewhat. Nuru listened, but didn't have much to contribute, either as strategic ally or planner.

"First, we've got to identify the guy who has the key and the code," Ace said.

"Here's what I'd do," Furaha said. "Find the guy who you think most likely has the key. Attack him in a way that only incapacitates him, but that looks like it kills him. Then demand answers from one of the least experienced guys who you think knows who has that code. If he believes the man dead, he'll point out to you that your quest is futile, and identify the man for you. Then you revive him, and apply pressure to get him to cooperate. If he wakes up and the whole yard is occupied and resistance quashed, it'll be a lot easier."

"I see you got Blobby some boots," Ace said, changing the subject and watching the chimera tromp along in heavy plate.

"He's no good to me full of sand," Dayo said. "Plus, this way we won't take an hour travelling to our destination."

"Glad you could join us, Kunto," Nuru said.

The lamia inclined her head without a word.

"No hard feelings about yesterday?" Furaha said.

"That is not for me to say," Kunto whispered.

"Nuru, back me up on this, and get your friend to bluff check," Furaha insisted.

Nuru tuggest at the succubus.

/You morning people make me sick./

(You take that back! I am not a morning person!)

/Could have fooled me. What's all this then?/

(We're attacking the Legion outpost. But all I need from you is a bluff check on the lamia here.)

/Ooh, are we trying to find out her secret!?/

(No, we already know she's a gorgon.)

/Oh. So much for being any fun. Lamiae don't typically breed with two-leggers. Don't get any pleasure out of it, and are rarely compatible. The parts fit, surprisingly, but it's over too soon./

Nuru nodded to Furaha.

(What do you mean, the parts fit?)

Furaha turned to the lamia. "Kunto, if you're going to be a member of our team, we need to know that you're not harboring any emotions that can turn you against us here."

Nuru felt like Kunto was watching Dayo intently out of the corner of her eye, though her head did not turn.

/Lamiae have eggs. They do not have umbilical cords or 'belly buttons' but instead a receptacle where the eggs are stored and discharged. This is also the opening where semen enters to fertilize the eggs. Most times, mates will accept or reject advances after the semen has been deposited in an orifice at the end of the tail from one of two tiny dicks, and if the mate is accepted, the semen will be transferred from the end of the tail and squeezed into the womb, as it were. You won't fit in the tail, but you will fit in the belly hole./

"I carry none of those feelings," Kunto hissed after a short pause.

/It's a bit of a dance, I suppose, kind of like how humans try to seduce each other. I hear a lamia whose eggs are forcibly fertilized by direct deposit will eat their young rather than allow them to grow to maturity, as they do with sickly or defective eggs. She's not lying, by the way./

(OK, thanks.)

Nuru gave a thumbs up, and Dayo let out a sigh of relief.

(How do you know all this, anyway?)

/You forget, it's my job to know sexual compatibilities. Speaking of which, catch her alone after this is all over. I want you to ask her a few questions of my own./

(Do I sense an EXP opportunity?)

/Perhaps!/ Sanaa cackled.

Dayo spoke up. "Alright, hobblers in the front; myself, Blobby and Kunto in the middle, and you two bring up the rear. Ace, bring me your best commander voice for Blobby, and then do whatever it is you feel best."

Furaha fell in beside Nuru. "Shouldn't you be making everybody march in time?" she said.

"I know just the thing.!Tasiri Motsin Zuciyarmu!"

He selected the most ominous-sounding rhythm he could think of, and played it slowly, so that all the hobgoblins walked together, and everybody else fell in step as well.

"Kunto, I know you have your reason to hate these people, but please believe me when I say that we can hurt them more by not killing anyone. How much do you know about faction politics?"

"Nearly nothing," Kunto rasped. "There are only enemies, and potential enemies. Lamiae are classified as monsters, as you probably know."

"Then please, speaking as one who is on Samba's Spectrum, I know that the temptation to shed blood of the Legion, who are our mortal enemies both, will be strong. And by all means, defend yourself if the situation arises. But don't go for the kill if you can avoid it."

"We know of the Spectrum. We are not enemies."

"No. And there isn't time to explain why it's for the best if they live. But strange though it may seem, doing the least harm will be dealing them the hardest blow."

Kunto gave Nuru an unreadable look with her slitted alien eyes, then nodded. "We will do what we can."

"Also, everybody please remember not to use any names. I know it's not likely we'll completely escape their ability to identify us, but there's no sense making it easy for them," Furaha said. "Also, it's a good habit to be in."

They reached the gate, a heavy wooden affair that held up far more poorly to a handful of attackers than Nuru would have guessed. Then again, those goblins were boosted with extra soul. The gatekeeper ran back inside, but took an arrow to the lower back and fell, sceraming as he crawled further in. A dozen Legionnaires filed out and formed ranks; fighters with shields in front, barbarians with long hammer-headed staves in the middle, and archers at the rear.

"You shall go no further!" an officer-type fellow said, stepping out from the cover of the building.

"Ace," Dayo hissed. "Now."

"YOU ALL LOOK EXPENDABLE TO ME," the voice boomed from the chimera's direction. "HOW MANY WISH TO DIE TO NO GOOD PURPOSE?"

A couple of the shield bearers looked at each other, then shrugged and held their ground.

"SO BE IT!"

Dayo gestured, and a hobgoblin stepped forward. A ward triggered in the ground, and the hobgoblin was pulled downward with cords of white light. Two more hobgoblins stepped in and attacked, striking the ground where the cords emerged. After a short time, the white began to fade and the trapped hobgoblin sprang free. It started forward again and was once again trapped by a ward. The archers opened fire on it as the other hobs attacked the ground again. Blobby stepped forward, and the previously-cleared ground rose up suddenly to launch it high in the air, heavy armor falling with a metallic slam to the ground in front of the trapped hobgobblin. Kunto looked carefully at the ground, and darted forward as the runes faded. The lifting-ground ward went off again, but too late; she was inside the perimeter. Several of the Legion cried out as Blobby got to its feet like nothing had happened; an ordinary person would have easily been killed by the fall. The archers shifted their aim, and Blobby soon started resembling one of the practice dummies full of hay at the other end of the yard used for target practice. The heavy plate was impenetrable, but arrows got stuck in the joints. A third row of wards was no more successful than the second; Dayo gestured and the goblins all attacked the ground where it should be, and when the ward broke it spat a column of fire high into the air, though it was hard to see in the early morning light.

"Reinforcements!" the commander yelled into the building. "The wards are breached!"

Another dozen swordsmen filed out in ones and twos, taking positions at the flank of the shield-bearers and hammer-holders.

"The defenses are activated. There is nothing for you here! Turn back, or face the mighty wrath of Imamu's Legion!" the commander bellowed.

Kunto slithered side to side on the left, while Blobby walked right up towards the line of shields. One of the hammermen pulled back and let it down with a mighty downward blow that filled the whole yard with the sound of ringing metal, and certainly would have flattened any ordinary adventurer. Blobby fell to its knees with the hammer embedded in its helm, then grabbed on and pulled on the haft of the hammer, dragging the hammerman out past the line of shields as he refused to let go, where two of the hobs fell on him immediately and beat him almost to death before he could come to his senses. Dayo stepped forward and started calmly plucking arrows out of the chimera's armor and tossing them away, materialized the staff to smash through the haft of the hammer leaving only the head behind, before patting the armor as if to say, 'you're OK now.'

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE," the voice boomed from approximately where Blobby had gotten back to its feet. "SURRENDER, OR MEET YOUR DOOOOOOM."

One more fighter emerged, a decorated old man in a fine officer's uniform. "Legion, attack on my command!" he said, holding his jewel-encrusted sword high. "Aaaaugh!"

Ace appeared behind the man, quickly putting a hand over his mouth and twisting the knife he'd stuck under the man's arm in a weak point of the armor. The man thrashed and screamed and dropped his sword, but could not get out any further commands.

"Behold, the effects of Lotus Extract," Ace said hoarsely. "He is dying right in front of your eyes. This is the fate you all face."

It took a minute for the man to slump to the ground unconscious. All eyes turned to the commander that had come out first as Ace disappeared.