Calm Ch. 02

Tom soothed Ellie until she calmed down. "Before you go back to your room, I want to tell you that if you get bored with throwing things at walls, you can ask Ruth or me to teach you some self-defense. It's good exercise if you need to vent."

A watery smile appeared on Ellie's tear streaked face. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like to go to bed now?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to tuck you in?"

Suddenly, she felt like a shy little girl, and she buried her face back into his shirt before nodding.

"I'd be happy to."

***

Ellie hadn't been dealing well with regaining her full memory of what happened the night Tom and Ruth found her. She had no way of dealing with the emotions those test results unleashed. Furious at her father and blazing with anger, all she wanted was to smash stuff and to scream. Stomp her memories over and over until she felt like she could handle them.

But her confidence crumpled the moment she stopped raging. She fell into a deep, black hole every single time. She tried everything she could think of to escape her grief, but she couldn't. Her tears blurred her eyes when she tried to read. Food nearly made her throw up when she forced it down her throat. She spent hours hugging herself in her bed. With every passing day she looked worse. The intensity of her emotions was so unfamiliar to her, so consuming, that she felt like they hollowed her out from within.

Ellie refused to go into the bathroom. The sight of her own body in the mirror became more than she could bear. She cursed her own beauty. Cursed the fact she looked even remotely like her beauty queen mother and hated that she couldn't find a single blemish on her skin. She messed up her hair, but it made no difference.

Every day, Ellie stood in front of the mirror with Tom's single bladed razor in her hand. She'd press the edge against her cheek, the urge to slash her cheek warring with how much she hated admitting her father had broken her. Slashing her cheek would prove it. No. She would not be defeated by her own looks.

Time after time, Ellie threw the razor down into the washbasin, her hands clawing at the cold porcelain. Each time, she put everything back in place, afraid someone would find out. And then she'd go to Tom's study and grab a book with a title she could hardly understand, and she'd bury herself in its contents. Knowledge. That was how she wanted to prove herself. Not looks. Her brain felt feverish as she devoured page after page of things she didn't understand.

But she kept going, she read and reread pages until she felt she got it even a little bit. She lost sleep, and the light shining under her door at night didn't go unnoticed.

For a few weeks Ellie felt like a piece of driftwood tossed around by the chaos swirling inside of her. When a few days had passed during which she seemed more subdued, Tom approached her. "Ellie, come sit with me."

His tone was friendly, but still it brooked no argument. She sat down in front of him and looked him in the eye.

"I have a few things for you. The first is a book about dealing with what I think you've been through. I've been over several since you arrived here, and I think this one was written with a lot of background experience and care. I also have a journal for you. Use it whenever you feel like writing something down."

He slid a heavy, leather bound journal over towards her. "It's sturdy, so you can throw it if you'd like. Read the book. I'm sure it can be useful for you."

Ellie picked up the journal and put it down again. She'd never kept one before, and she doubted she would do so now.

"Lastly and most importantly, here are your appointments with a specialized therapist and a few group meetings. You can go to each meeting and get a feel of the group, see if one or more suit you."

She looked down at the papers he slid to her, making no move to take them. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Then I drive you to the place anyway, and we'll sit there for the time the session would normally take. You'd be wasting both our time. So please co-operate."

"And if I don't stay put in the car?"

"Then I walk with you."

"What if I run away?"

"I'm confident I can outrun you any day of the week."

"What if I start screaming?"

Tom looked at her with a sad expression. "Does the thought of telling anybody about what's tearing you up inside make you so frightened?"

Ellie's challenge to him dissolved immediately when she realized he'd seen through her. She nodded. Tom took one of her hands in both of his and gently squeezed. "I think it'll be difficult for you. At the same time I think you'll be relieved afterwards. That therapist knows so much about what you can do to help yourself. Use that. You're being offered a start of a way out. Grab it."

Her voice was quiet when she answered. "I'll go, but can you stay in the car anyway?"

Tom nodded and smiled. "I can, at least the first few times. I'll bring a book."

It relieved him to see her answer his smile with a little grin, brief as it was.

***

The dojo was empty but for Tom, Ellie, Ruth and her Aikido instructor, Charlotte. Tom knew Charlotte was a great teacher, and she'd be another strong woman for Ellie to learn from. The skills she taught were valuable for a girl like Ellie. After they'd warmed up, Tom said to Ellie, "I do Krav maga. It's about awareness and quick elimination. In a way, it's a test for aikido. Aikido is flows and adapts to find a position to incapacitate the opponent. It sounds passive, but someone skilled will move in, floor and detain an unsuspecting opponent before he realizes what hit him."

He saw the confusion in Ellie's eyes and sighed. He pointed at Ruth and Charlotte. "Ruth does aikido, and Charlotte is her teacher. I'd say Ruth is pretty skilled by now, but she's no match for me yet. She just doesn't have the experience. Charlotte on the other hand... I've sparred with her before and she's slippery.

"I could knock her out with a well-aimed punch, but it has to connect first. My goal is to efficiently overwhelm an enemy. The worst opponent for me is someone who can dance around all that bluster. Someone like Charlotte. She's taught me a lot."

Tom cast another glance at Ellie, and she was still standing there, her arms crossed with a frown nestled on her forehead. He looked Charlotte in the eye and said, "Could you pick up a large pad, please?"

Charlotte nodded and picked up a thick block of padding. She took a relaxed stance and prepared for the attack. Tom blazed forward and his first punch boomed against the pad. At the same time the punch hit, he used the elbow of his other arm to slam against the pad with his full weight. Charlotte grunted at the heavy impact and then toppled when Tom used her moment of imbalance to floor her with a second punch.

He helped her up and asked, "Your turn now?"

Charlotte grinned and rolled her neck, jumping up and down a few times to limber up. They took the same positions as before, without the pad this time. The second run was hard to follow. Tom threw his punch, Charlotte moved and grabbed Tom and before Ellie even saw what happened Charlotte had floored Tom and locked his arm in place. He tapped the floor and she released him.

"Do you see now? She's not that much bigger than you and she can do that to me. When I join them for training I usually spend my time being thrown around and locked in all kinds of positions."

He winked at Ruth and she blushed, trying not to let Charlotte notice.

"What do you say, Ellie. Are you interested?"

Ellie was intrigued to say the least. She was so angry all the time, and she wanted something that would help her work it out of her system for good. She was tired of crying herself to sleep. Anything to just blackout in exhaustion. She hated her memories. "Yes. Can I do this every day?"

Tom's eyebrow lifted, and he looked at Charlotte. Charlotte shrugged and said, "I'll check my schedule. I don't do Sundays though. Plus if she wants it that intense, she'll have to follow my instructions to the letter or she'll only hurt herself."

"You heard her, Ellie."

Ellie gave Charlotte a look and nodded. "I'll do what she tells me to."

Tom watched Charlotte walk out the door and hoped that she could be around Ellie as much as possible. She was such a strong, admirable woman. Ellie needed examples in her life, an idea of what she could become through hard work.

"Ruth, will you show her how to warm up? I'll go do my exercises in the back. Shout if you need me."

"Okay, Tom."

Charlotte paused in the door to watch the two young woman spar together. One was slender, the copper strands in her hair gleaming in the light. The other was a vision of female beauty, but Charlotte couldn't sense any of the poise and calm that Ruth possessed in the younger girl. Ellie felt raw to her, full of conflict. She'd be a challenging pupil. Charlotte hadn't asked Tom to reveal the girl's secrets, but she had a pretty good idea where she was coming from. It wasn't the first time she'd seen it.

She stepped back onto the mat and clapped her hands to draw attention. "Ellie, from now on you'll come here five days a week. Training will not be too intensive, given the frequency and how inexperienced you are. I'll give you guidelines on how to treat yourself at home. Ask Ruth to clarify anything you don't understand. From now on you call me sensei, do you understand?"

"Yes, sensei."

"Good, now let's get started. Tom, we won't be needing you today, but could you wait around to pick up the paperwork?"

He nodded his head and continued what he was doing. The next hours were incredible for Ellie. She'd never even realized what her own body was capable of. She cursed herself for giving in to her father so many times, for letting everything happen when she didn't have to. As the session went on, Ellie became more angry and violent and Charlotte had to calm her down more than once. Eventually, Charlotte scolded her and had her sit down on the floor to impress the philosophy of aikido onto her.

Regaining her self-control would be a struggle for Ellie, but she'd learn.

***

Tom sat working at his desk. Ellie was reading in the armchair in his study as usual when she closed her book with a soft thump and said, "Tom, do you think I'm pretty?"

He turned away from his laptop, surprise evident on his face. "Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"You never look at me the way a man looks at a woman."

Tom leaned back in his desk chair and saw her trembling. She was on the verge of bursting into tears. He gestured for her to stand up from his armchair so he could take her place and give her a lap to sit on. "Have a seat, Ellie."

She quickly sat back down and huddled up. He stroked her long, pale hair and said, "Ellie, I think you're exceptionally beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. There's nothing about you I would change. But think about why I try not to look at you that way. You know how we found you."

Ellie burst into tears and in a strangled voice, she said "You think I'm dirty, that I'm disgusting!"

She tried to push away from Tom and escape the room, but he locked her in with his arms.

"Ellie, calm down. You misunderstood. You were hurt. Things were taken from you that you didn't want to give. What would've happened if I showed interest in you as a woman? Could I take care of you then? No. You'd only become confused and hurt. Wondering if I was going to do the same thing. I couldn't risk doing that to you."

Tom squeezed Ellie more firmly against him. "I don't want you to ever be abused again. So I don't show you I find you attractive. I don't mention it. I do so because I care about you and never because I think you're dirty in any way. Your past isn't a layer of dirt stuck to your skin. All I wanted was to make things a little easier for you."

Ellie cried into his shirt without holding back, her body wracked with sobs. Fat tears fell from her flawless face as it twisted in a horrible grief that was too old and deep. Everything pouring out of her stemmed from the things still locked up inside of her.

Her entire being had been forged by years of abuse and neglect. It had dried her out emotionally, so Tom's kindness touched her in ways she couldn't understand. It set flame to the restraints holding back the beast of her grief. Maybe one day she'd conquer it and bury it alongside her childhood fears, but today was not that day. Today it reigned supreme until her body exhausted itself.

***

Ruth stood in the center of the play room naked but for seven inch stiletto heels. Too high to walk in, but they made her legs look incredible. Tom took his time admiring her form before he told her what he'd planned for her. "Stand in the center of the room and put your hands in the back of your neck. Keep your legs spread and your chin up."

Ruth assumed the position he asked of her and felt her body respond to it. Having to keep her arms up toned the rest of her body, and she smiled when Tom nodded in appreciation. He took a heavy book and laid it down on top of her head. "Don't let it fall under any circumstance. In fact, I don't want you to move at all. Stay perfectly still, no matter what I do to you."

Unsure of whether she should answer him or not, Ruth played it safe. "Yes, Sir."

Tom flicked her nipple, and she gave a little jerk, making the book wobble. "Talking counts as moving. Don't say anything. Don't make a noise."

Ruth inwardly nodded her understanding, closing her eyes to enjoy the little ripple of pleasure spreading from her nipple. She opened her eyes again and wanted to see where Tom was, but he'd left her field of vision. Where was he? What was he planning?

Her skin turned to goose bumps when she felt over a dozen soft caresses glide over her back. What was that? The touch disappeared. Ruth waited for Tom to walk around her but he kept her waiting. Again the unfamiliar touch grazed her, and she loved the way it felt. He walked around her, dragging the soft flogger along her side and then up her stomach so he could brush it along her breasts.

She'd expected a flogger to be more menacing, but this one seemed harmless. The long, beige handle covered in the same leather as the tails lay comfortably in Tom's hand. "I've never flogged you before, so I don't think you know what to expect. The flogger I have in my hand is made from deerskin. You can feel how soft it is, can't you?"

Tom let the tails slap gently against her inner thigh before dragging it back up. The sting was nothing compared to that of a crop. A sensual feeling, waking up her skin. She could feel the tingling spread from her thigh to her pussy, making her wet.

"This flogger is soft enough to flog you anywhere I want to."

The tails landed on her breasts and Ruth had to fight to keep back a gasp at the sensation. Her nipple felt like it would pop, overloaded by the sparks of pleasure coming from all over her sensitive breast.

Tom rubbed one of Ruth's hard nipples with his thumb, and she had to squeeze her lips together to keep quiet. "It's also light and doesn't bruise."

He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered, "I can use this for hours, little one, and I wouldn't even break a sweat, but I'm sure you'll find it a little problematic to keep that book on your head after a while. Do you want me to tell you what happens when you drop it? Blink twice to say yes."

She blinked twice, and he stepped around her, flicking his wrist so the tips of the flogger danced over her skin. She fought the desire to bite her lip, every tiny touch stung just enough to tantalize.

"This is an exquisite piece of work. The handle is smooth, and I'd have little trouble pushing it into your tight little pussy."

He pushed the flogger up between her legs, brushing her wet pussy. "But then there'd be a problem. I'd have no more tool to strike my lovely little girl. No choice but to use my hand."

Ruth shivered when his hand kneaded her ass cheek in time with the handle rubbing against her pussy. "My hand does hit harder than this flogger so you'd need a little extra support to keep from falling over in those shoes. It's a good thing that right above your head there's this little hole meant for an eye bolt. It's perfect for tying up a little girl that didn't do what she was supposed to do."

Tom pulled back and walked around to her front. "Blink twice if you understand."

She blinked twice, holding back a moan at the thought of what she was agreeing to. Any fantasies she might've had about her predicament evaporated quickly though when Tom started using the flogger to methodically wake up every single part of her skin. He ignored her breasts and her pussy for now, but even then her pussy was leaking with excitement. She felt the heat of her own excitement in her flushed chest and her hot pussy.

It was getting harder for her to think clearly. One soft hit to the hollow of her knee surprised Ruth, and her leg jerked. She froze as the book wobbled and relaxed again when it settled back down. But her moment of rest didn't last long. Tom chose that moment to hit her pussy for the first time. A strangled moan escaped her throat. Her breathing was fast and it amazed her how intense the hit had felt. It didn't hurt, instead it set her pussy on fire.

"That was a noise, little girl. First you move and then you make a noise." Tom shook his head in disappointment and said, "Let's try again."

He landed another hit on her pussy, followed closely by hits alternating between her inner thighs nowhere near her pussy. Ruth stood with her eyes closed, letting everything wash over her. Her lips were pushed tightly together to keep any little noise from escaping, but she couldn't help but hear her own breathing as she sucked in air through her nose. A little more of this and she'd need more air.

Her body was in turmoil, struggling against the urge to move, against the overwhelming desire to beg for more, more, more. Tom took a step back and focused on her breasts, slapping each one in turn. They started to glow a soft pink. Ruth gave up on holding back her noises, panting as she was. Little moans and yelps escaped her as she grew hotter and hotter. When the tails of the flogger brushed past her pussy again she could hold her orgasm back with only the greatest effort.

"You can't get what you can't ask for, little girl. You're not allowed to come from this." Contrary to his words, Tom did his best to get her off. Ruth was getting desperate, and it took everything she had just to keep still. If she came she'd not only disobey, but also almost certainly drop the book. She was trembling and almost didn't notice when the flogger stopped lashing her. When she opened her eyes to try and find Tom, she couldn't see him. Looking straight ahead was all she could do without dropping the book. She didn't know where Tom was until she felt him blow on her soaked pussy. A load moan escaped her and her pussy clenched in desire.

Ruth wanted to beg Tom to not touch her and definitely not lick her. It would be too much. Tom seemed to read her thoughts and then did the opposite of what she wanted. He slipped two fingers inside of her pussy and locked his lips over her clit. Ruth held her breath, waiting for the moment her resistance would be broken. But it didn't come.

Tom pulled back from her clit and said, "Little girl, you've passed the test. You can come now. If you can keep the book in place through your orgasm, I'll give you a reward."

With that said, he attacked her clit and mercilessly flicked it with his tongue while his fingers teased her sensitive insides. It exhilarated Ruth that she'd done well, and she let the pleasure burst through her. Her body shook and wobbled, and the book fell on the floor. Ruth didn't care. She screamed her heart out, tangling her hands in Tom's hair to keep herself steady as she humped his face and rode the waves of ecstasy.