Career or Marriage?

"And Sam said?"

"Sam said sure!"

"Fucking hell! What did you do?"

"I couldn't make a fuss in public so i went with the client to his room. I sat in the desk chair."

"No, get on the bed." He growled at me.

"No, I am afraid that you have been misled. Sam is not my partner, he is simply a friend. He is probably fucking your wife right now. He has no right to swap me out to anyone. I am a married woman."

"Get on the fucking bed. Sam agreed to this swap so we are gonna fucking swap."

"I got up and walked toward the door. He tried to cut me off. I pushed him out of my way and walked out. Unfortunately for him, Sam was already balls deep in the client's wife. The client just stood there dumbstruck. I went downstairs and schmoozed like I was supposed to be doing."

"What happened with Sam?"

"Sam came back downstairs, the client and wife had left the building. He lost a big client because I suddenly had some moral backbone. I guess Sam expected me to go along with the swap. That was never going to happen. I almost wonder if he did this to get even with me for sending him home that night. "

"Jon, I think it may be time for a career change. I am sick and tired of being thought of as bait. I mean come on, they are basically parading me around, insinuating that for the right donation, you too could be fucking this woman. I am not a prostitute. I am not going to be a lure to attract wealthy perverts. What Sam did to me today was awful. I don't know what the hell he was thinking."

"You said it yourself, he was balls deep in his client's wife. That was his goal. He knew you wouldn't fuck his client. It wouldn't surprise me if the client wasn't paying his bills and Sam was going to collect in his own way. He knew you would delay the client long enough for him to fuck the woman."

"If you aren't careful Betty, I think Sam will offer you a job. You seem to be able to charm clients and be a very useful tool. You could be a very valuable asset to him. It is too bad that it would end up causing us to divorce."

"Would it though?"

"Yes, I think he wants you badly. He has already shown he has what it takes to get what he wants. If he hires you I am afraid you'll be in his bed soon enough."

"You don't think much of me do you?"

"I think the world of you my love. I just know Sam. He has already offered you a job hasn't he?"

"Tonight, yeah he offered me a position. I want to take him up on the offer. He offered me double what the charities pay me. That is pretty hard to turn down."

"Alright, I won't mince words. You have a choice, sign with Sam or stay married to me. I refuse to be living on edge, wondering if you're coming home at night."

"I don't understand why you think that way. I have self control."

"I know you do, I admire that, but that job would put you in an even worse position than you are now. I don't trust him to look after you. If he will fuck over a client, then how can he be trusted with his staff? No, as much as it hurts me, it comes down to him or me."

"You aren't being fair. I love you, I want to work with him. The two aren't mutually exclusive."

"Maybe not to you."

Two days later Betty told me she had accepted Sam's job offer. I asked where she would be staying.

"I don't plan on moving."

"You move, or I move. I can move my studio to a larger place, it is getting a little cramped."

"You're seriously going to leave me?"

"It is either you leave or I leave babe. I won't stay married to you if you're working for Sam."

"Do me a favour, don't file for divorce yet. Give me time to explore whether this job with Sam is viable. If it isn't, I will find another line of work. If he creeps me out then I will be out of there like a shot. Sam is big time. This could be the start of a very lucrative career, let me have this chance, please."

"One month. If you are back here within a month, unfucked, then fine. Any longer and I will file. You can't live here for that month either. Our married life rules will still apply. No infidelity. Is that understood and agreed?"

"Yes, I love you! I promise."

She moved out. I spent the next two days moping. I had a call from Lyle, a really great collaborator. He needed someone to play lead with him on a west coast swing. It meant being on the road for the rest of the time Betty was away. Maybe that would take my mind off things.

I sent Betty a text.

"Hey, just a heads up, Lyle asked me to tour the west coast gigs with him. Since you are out doing your thing I agreed. I hate the road but this will help me not obsess about you. I hope all is well."

I got a reply a half hour later.

"I am homesick. I want to move back home. If you are on the road maybe I can use the apartment? Work here is okay. So far quite successful. No onerous duties. Sam is behaving himself. I am worried about your work on the road. Won't that mean exposure to the groupies and drug culture you hate?"

"Yeah, I guess you'll need to trust me, just like I am trusting you. I miss you. I want you back home with me. Tell me if you quit Sam and I'll quit touring with Lyle."

"Will do."

Life on the road is a pain in the ass. The offer of sex is always there and drugs are everywhere. So far I had said no thanks to either. You travel in a tour bus for hours and hours only to play for a couple of hours and then back on the bus again. It made the time pass and I wasn't alone.

I sent another text to Betty.

"On the tour bus. One week to go. I will be back in the apartment on the 31st. I want to come home now! So tired of this. I miss you. How's the job?"

"Hey sweetie, I miss you too. The job is really working out well. I am living in the apartment. I love it here. Sam's business is booming. Don't worry, I'll see you on the 31st."

That final week of touring was a bitch. I got home exhausted. The apartment was neat and tidy. I fell into bed and slept till I felt someone climb into the bed beside me.

"Betty, you're home."

"I sure am Jon."

We embraced, kissed and made love for the rest of the night. God it felt good to be home. Maybe this meant she was home for good.

I made French toast and bacon for breakfast. We had a lot to catch up on.

"The reviews for Lyle's tour were great. The critics loved your work."

"Yeah, it was torture though. I am much better suited to studio work."

"You avoided the pitfalls?"

"No groupies and no drugs. Our bass player enjoyed both. He ended the tour with a habit and and an STI. How was your month with Sam?"

"We brought in a lot of business. I give good schmooze. Your fears about Sam were exaggerated."

"Exaggerated but not unfounded?"

"God you are good. He didn't fuck me, but not for lack of trying."

"The man must have a death wish."

"Why does he want me so bad?"

"Because you are hot as hell, sexy, married and unavailable. You are a challenge. If you ever give in to him you'll cease to be a challenge. You would be a conquest and he would move on to another challenge."

"I gave you this month to decide, Sam or stay here with me. Did you make your decision?"

"I love you. I want to live with you. I also want to work with Sam. I have proved that I can do the job without compromise. I hope you can see your way to accept both."

"I framed it as either or. I still feel that way. You can work for Sam or you can stay married to me. Not both. Sam is too tempting to you. You haven't fallen yet but if you continue working with him on these junkets you will. I am asking you to please either retire altogether or find another job."

"You really hate him don't you. He isn't such a bad guy. He is perpetually horny and he can be vindictive but he is a good boss."

"Your choice is...?"

"I can't give up my job right now. I am making a difference. I am making a lot of money. Money for our future."

"We will have no future if you keep working for Sam."

"I'm sorry Jon. I need to stay at the job."

"I will file for divorce tomorrow. The papers should be ready for you to sign before too long. I hate to see us end like this."

"Me too, I love you and I always will Jon. Maybe down the road?"

"Unlikely."

--------

Betty's point of view

I was upset that Jon wouldn't allow me to stay married to him and work for Sam.

Sam wanted to jump my bones, no question about it. Would Sam be happy my husband was divorcing me? Damn right. It would clear the way for him and give me one less excuse.

That raises the question, do I really want to fuck Sam? The answer isn't at all straightforward. Physically Sam is a prime specimen. A gym rat, a sparkling personality, an intelligent mind with an overactive libido and a magnificent cock which I have not experienced but I've felt while dancing. So considering those factors, hell yes!

On the other hand, there are consequences to consider if I was to take Sam to bed. I would abandon all hope of reuniting with the love of my life Jon. So hell no!

My job with Sam is very well paying. I attend the events with Sam. We appear as a couple he sells the company, I schmooze the wife or the client themselves. Sometimes I wow them with intelligent conversation, sometimes with my flirting. Sam doesn't care which. The clients like what Sam is selling and they seem to love me.

We usually do one show/event per week. It invariably involves a weekend and very long hours.

It has been a month since Jon told me to expect the divorce papers soon. I have yet to see them. Dare I hope he is having second thoughts?"

Sam and I sat in the hotel suite he used for business meetings. We were planning our next couple of events. He wanted to discuss a couple of issues.

"First of all, how is Jon? Has he sent the paperwork yet?"

"No, I think he may be having second thoughts."

"So the next week is in Vegas. Same hotel as last time. I want to cut down on expenses so I want to reserve a two bedroom suite instead of two separate rooms."

"I thought we agreed that two rooms was a safety valve."

"With the pending divorce that shouldn't be a problem."

"It makes me uncomfortable."

"Why, do you think I am going to try to fuck you?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"You know me too well. I want to give you countless orgasms but I'll never force you."

" I guess two bedrooms in the same suite will work. Its not like Jon can complain."

"So after Vegas then Chicago."

"Anything I should be aware of?"

"There will likely be swapping requests in Vegas. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"You know my feelings about that."

"You are in my employ. This is something that the clients want. Do I need to hire an escort for that weekend? I could give you the week off."

"I'll work the event but I won't swap."

"Whatever. Maybe I should find a more flexible assistant."

I couldn't help myself, I texted Jon as soon as I could.

"Hi Jon. I hope you are well. I am on the road. Vegas is next. Sam is behaving. I miss you."

"Feeling lonely. Busy with work. Trying not to miss you but failing badly."

Vegas was a big show. Too many good prospects for Sam. Too many temptations in Sin City.

As I feared, Sam arranged for a swap with a client and his wife. The wife was very attractive and the client was a pro football player, a big man.

The man tried to lead me to his suite. Once we got off the event's main floor I stopped him. I am really sorry but I can't be with you. Sam can't use me for a swap. He is not my partner. I am a married woman trying to make a living."

"So if I was to take you to my suite to fuck you it would be without your consent."

"That's right."

"What if that just makes it more exciting for me?"

"I don't think you would want to lose your sponsorship deal with that sports clothing company would you? You must know that if you got charged with the crime of having non-consensual sex that that company would drop you like a bad habit."

"So while we argue the finer points, my wife is getting fucked by your employer. Which suite?"

"511, and I would hurry if I were you."

I followed along behind the now running football player. I was still several metres away from the door when I hear a lot of cursing and the unmistakable smack of flesh hitting flesh with the intent to maim. As fit as Sam is, he was naked and up against a very pissed off pro athlete. He was bloodied and he would have some bruises tomorrow. But the worst hurt for Sam was that he lost a good piece of business.

"Why the fuck can't you just play nice and fuck a client, is that too much to ask?

"Because I am not a whore. I don't want to fuck you or your clients. I will entertain, wine and dine, but sex with me is off the table. If that isn't good enough then maybe you need to find a replacement."

"Fine, get out of here. Go home. I will find another assistant."

"I'm fired?"

"Yes, you're fired. Go home. Do you really think Jon will take you back? How many times have you chosen me and your career over him? How many times has your sainted husband taken you back? He loves you but you've fucked him over way too many times."

Son of a bitch, all this time I thought I was an assistant, turns out he was looking for a whore.

I flew home on the next flight out.

I texted Jon.

"Hi Jon. I am on my way back home. I know things aren't great between us right now. I need a place to crash. Can I have the guest room?"

"Sure, why are you coming back?"

"I got fired. I'll give a full report when I land."

"Safe travels."

I had a place to lay my head tonight. I really dreaded talking to Jon. I burned so many bridges these past months.

The plane landed and I saw Jon waiting for me. I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up, and for the bed tonight."

"I'm glad you're okay. Let's get you home."

Oh, that sounded so good, home. But was it still my home? I wasn't sure.

We settled in with a glass of wine and I recounted the wonderful things I accomplished and the horrible things that lead to my being relieved of my duties.

"So he expected you to be an assistant with benefits. I warned you."

"Yes, you did. You were right. I leaned a lot and I earned a lot of money, but there is a limit to what I will and won't do. I am glad to be out of it and back home."

"I kept expecting you to send the divorce papers. What happened? I started to hope you had changed your mind. I couldn't think of any other reason why you wouldn't have sent them."

"My lawyer had some questions about royalties as marital assets. He was waiting for clarification. He hasn't received it yet."

"So there was another reason. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got my hopes up."

"Babe, it was your choice to leave."

"Can it be my decision to come back?"

"You mean you want a mulligan, a do over?Fuck babe, you broke my heart."

"I know I am asking too much. I will leave in the morning."

I knew this was going to be hard. I just didn't know how much it would hurt Jon and me.

I got ready for bed and went to our bedroom.

"Not our bedroom babe, you left me. You made your choice. I gave you a month's grace period. You didn't come home. You stayed."

"I was true to you Jon. I didn't have sex with anyone."

"You say that like it is the lone criteria. You left me to work for Sam. I told you that choice meant divorce. You still chose it. I gave you the month, you still chose him over me. The saddest fucking thing is that I love you so much this is tearing me apart. I hoped and prayed that you would wake up and come home to me."

"And I did Jon, I am here."

"You are here because he fired you."

"I don't want a divorce. I want us to be together."

"That was an option a few months ago, an option you rejected for the advancement of your career. Damn it Betty, you keep trying to change horses mid stream. We agreed to a line in the sand and you crossed it. Now, go to the guest room and have a good sleep."

I didn't sleep well at all. I knew that Jon was right. I fucked up my marriage to the man I loved.

In the morning I found Jon sitting at the kitchen table with a big mug of black coffee in his hands. There was no French toast and bacon, a very bad sign.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked.

"No, terrible."

"I'm sorry Jon. I really am. I thought that Sam was the key to a great career. I should never have accepted his offer to work for him. I should have listened to you and done right by you. I am ashamed that I didn't."

"All you had to do was come home within the first month and I'd have welcomed you back home as my wife. I would have torn up any divorce papers. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Please, Betty, have mercy on me and just leave, before I break down."

I left him there. My God he was so broken, and I did that to him. It was more than I could bear. They say you can't truly love someone unless you love yourself. I hated the person I had become. I recognized that the deep regret I felt was leading me down the road to self destruction. That was when I recognized it for what it was, suicidal ideation. I got to a mental health facility and told them I was suicidal. After long interviews with a couple of doctors I was admitted.

The following morning I had another interview. The doctors agreed that I was severely depressed and they wanted to keep me under observation. They were right. If I hadn't come here I am sure I would have hurt myself.

Jon's point of view.

After Betty left the apartment I broke down. She was the author of this marital drama. I gave her every chance. I can't believe she is gone.

I spent the rest of the day writing sad songs and drinking.

It was the next morning that I got the call from the hospital telling me that my wife had been admitted to their mental health facility and she was on suicide watch.

I couldn't believe it at first, I thought it was a cruel joke but they insisted they were legitimate. One of the doctors asked if I could come and speak to him.

Dr. Smith welcomed me.

"Your wife came to us yesterday. She was severely depressed and thankfully she had the presence of mind to recognize that she might harm herself. A panel of doctors, including myself, interviewed her. It seems her depression is mainly due to your marital problems. Is that true?"

"Yes, it is."

I went on to explain what happened. He was non-judgmental.

"She is in a state of self loathing. She hates herself for what she has done to you. Yes, she is sad for herself but her self hatred is rooted in how she has treated you."

"So what am I supposed to do Doctor?"

"That is up to you. If you can find it in your heart to forgive her, then I imagine she will recover fairly quickly. If you proceed with the divorce then we will treat the depression until the urge to self harm is gone. It will likely take a while and she will likely need longer term counselling."

"That puts a lot on me doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. Do you love her?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then for both your sakes I hope you can find a way to reconcile."

"Can I see her?"

"It would be better to give her some time to rest. Maybe in a day or so."

I could see some wisdom in the doctor's words but it didn't change the fact that I really wanted to see her.

"Betty has always been a career minded and independent woman. Sure I questioned her risk management at times. I had never imagined her suicidal. Yes, she took me for granted, defied me, yet she always came back to me with high expectations for forgiveness. Maybe she is the way she is because I have been too eager to forgive. She has always dodged severe consequences because I love her so much. Maybe tough love is what she needed much earlier, because tough love now could put her over the edge. What is the loving thing to do, the right thing?"

"You make some good points and are asking the right questions. Sadly it's you who will have to decide which response is best for you and for Betty. Either way, she is going to need psychiatric treatment."