Carnal Desire Ch. 05

Tuesday September 1st

~JORDAN~

Walking out of Sydney's classroom gave me a sense of accomplishment. Not because I was boasting about our sexual escapade just now or anything but because I was feeling a little upset about what I saw earlier during lunch. I guess on some level I wanted to make her mine subconsciously. I didn't want her to feel like she needed anyone else. Only me.

Does that make me possessive? Or manipulative? Or an asshole? I couldn't help but to ask myself these questions. It's not like I could talk to Kennedy and ask her flat out without causing suspicion. Come to think of it, in my defense, I'd rather think of myself as being protective. Protective of what's mine. And Sydney is definitely mine. Call me delusional if you will, I could care less. If being protective over someone I love is wrong than I welcome the delusions with every ounce of love that I possess.

I know I shouldn't let seeing Sydney and whoever his name is get to me, but all I could see at that particular moment was red. I've never experienced such rage towards someone, at least not like that, especially someone I haven't met. It took everything I had not to go over there and knock him the fuck out. I couldn't stand seeing his hands on her.

Normally, I wouldn't mind her talking with someone. Granted, I get jealous, I'm not perfect. I understand she's working and she's going to have to converse with other teachers. If I'm being entirely honest with myself, it was the look in his eyes. I didn't notice it until now. But the look in his eyes said something far more different than what the gesture was initially intended for. So, yeah, like I said, I'm just protecting what's mine.

Yeah sure, I've had my fair share of girlfriends in the past and I've had my bouts of jealousy when it came to men hitting on Sydney. We've had our arguments over it but even then, I was able to reign in the anger I felt. In all honesty, I couldn't really blame them. They had good taste, I'll give them that, but that's about all I'll give them.

Feeling such animosity isn't like me. I'm usually calm and collected. Sometimes even quiet. Kennedy likes to say I'm shy, but I like to think of myself as more reserved than anything. My motto has always been, 'The most dangerous person is the one who listens, thinks and observes.' Said by one of the world's greatest martial artists of all time, Master Bruce Lee. It's fair to say that today, I let my emotions get the best of me. Granted that I didn't do anything that could potentially hurt anyone, I did manage to calm myself down. I guess the upside is, no one got hurt in the process.

When it comes to Sydney I can't think straight. I know no one can truly own another person, I know I couldn't stop her from having feelings for someone else. A part of me knows that if it ever came down to it, I would let her go if that meant putting her happiness over mine, if that's what she really wanted. But that doesn't mean I would give up without a fight. Why should I let the other person win? Why should I have to sacrifice my own happiness in the process? Why would I even let someone come in and try to fuck shit up? I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone come in and try to take her away from me. I just found her. Fuck! Here I go again. I need to calm the fuck down.

I needed to get my mind off things for a while, even if it's just for a couple of hours. I need to shake these negative thoughts and feelings and I knew just the place to go.

I continued to walk the halls in order to find Kennedy. I walked through the main doors and once I got to the parking lot, I notice Kennedy standing by my car. Her mood has most certainly changed in the short period of time, it went from annoyed to excited in the short span of 20 minutes. I was about to comment on it when my phone beeps, notifying me that I got a text. I look at my phone and see my dad's name appear.

'Hey Sweetie, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your mom and I have been called away on business. We'll be heading to California within the next hour.' I frown at the text as soon as I read what he sent. I know their work is demanding and their gone half the time, but that didn't mean that I didn't miss them. This morning was the first time I seen my mom in a week.

'Okay. Any idea of when you'll be back?' Even though I know would miss them, I understood why. However, I was excited by the prospect of being able to stay with Sydney without having to cover it up. Not that it would be a problem even if my parents were in town.

'I'm not sure yet Sweetie. Hopefully only a few days at most. Why? Are you planning on having a party?' I rolled my eyes as if he could see my reaction.

'No. I was just wondering.' He knew it wasn't like me to throw parties.

'Oh, come on, you can tell your dear old dad. I promise I won't tell your mother.' I could practically see my dad beaming with excitement at the prospect that I might revert back to a couple of years ago. But I promised myself I would never do that again. Even though my dad approved of it, I couldn't bring myself to be that person again.

Okay, fine, you caught me. I may have done something in New York, but the dude started it, yeah, I'm taking the 5-year-old defense. All I did was finished it. That's all I'll say on the subject, for now.

'When are you going to cut lose and do something that I don't even approve of? I shake my head. If he only knew what or should I say, who I've doing in my free time. Knowing my dad, I can't help but to feel like he's baiting me. It's not normal for a parent to want their child to get into trouble. I know most kids would take advantage of the opportunity, but like I said, I made a promise to myself. I would rather fly under the radar than have a repeat of that night 2 years ago.

'I'm sorry to be a disappointment at being a disappointment.' I reply as a smile spreads across my face. I knew my dad would love the subtle word play.

'Okay, whatever, don't tell me. But whatever you do, just make sure to use protection.' This guy is such a fucking weirdo.

'But father, what about all of the illegitimate children I was planning on having? You're crushing my hopes and dreams.' I reply sarcastically, smiling at my smart remark as I wait for his response.

'Some dreams are meant to be crushed.' How rude father.

'Harsh father, very harsh.' I reply mockingly.

'What kind of father would I be if I let my only known offspring go around impregnating every pretty young thing that moves?' I chuckle at his response.

'Um...the best kind of father. And only known offspring?' At this point I can't contain my laughter.

'Yeah, only known offspring. Your papa was a rolling stone.' This fucking guy is more delusional than me.

'First of all, um...GROSS. Second...I highly doubt that. But it's whatev's.' A smile still plastered on my face.

'Anyway. We'll see you when we get back. We love you Sweetie.' I smile at my phone.

'Okay. See you when you guys get back. Love you both.' I hit send and then look up to see Kennedy staring at me.

I walk up to Kennedy who has a worried look on her face. "Who was that?" Kennedy asks giving me a puzzled look.

"My dad." I say as I glance at my phone.

"Oh, is everything alright?" She inquired, worry evident in her voice.

"Yeah, everything's fine. He was just telling me that he and my mom are going to be gone for a few days. Business." I say as I put my phone in my pocket then shrug my shoulders.

"Oh, I see. So, what are you planning on doing tonight?" What the hell is up with all of the questions? Choosing to ignore it and answer instead.

"Nothing. I was actually planning on going to the gym for a couple of hours. What are you gonna do?" I decided to ask a question of my own.

"Well, I talked to Carter while you were finishing your homework." So, this would explain her sudden change in behavior.

"Yeah and?" I asked more than a little curious.

"Well, he said he's willing to take me home after practice and then after that we're going to go on a mini date." Wow, I didn't expect them to move so quickly. On the other hand, Kennedy has been waiting for this for like 6 years. Thinking about it like that, talk about slow.

"That's awesome KD! It's about fucking time. You two crazy kids have fun tonight." I say as I walk to my driver side door.

"You're not mad, are you?" This caught me off guard. I have absolutely no reason to be mad at Kennedy. If anything, I'm happy for her. She deserves to be happy.

"No. Why would I be mad?" I ask in a reassuring voice, my brows furrowed at the thought of her even thinking such a thing.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you wanted to hang out or not." I threw my bag in the backseat and stood with my arms on the roof of my car.

"That would be nice and all, but you have been waiting for this day for a very long time. I don't want to get in the way of your plans. Plus, I have a lot on my mind. I kinda wanted to be alone anyway." I confess as I look at my hands.

"Are you sure? Cause I can always reschedule things with Carter. I'm sure he'll understand, we can ta-", I put my hand up in a gesture to stop her. I walk to other side of the car where Kennedy is standing. I put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"Kennedy, don't take this the wrong way, you're my best friend and I love you, but if you don't go on your mini date with Carter, I will personally kick the shit out of you because you've been crushing on this guy for too damn long." I say grinning ear to ear at my bestie.

"Jordan, I..." She lets her words hang in the air. Never mind. Call me if you change your mind. She says with a look of worry and concern etched within her eyes.

"Of course. Have fun with Carter. Just do me a favor?" I said solemnly.

"Anything." Her face still laced with concern.

I move closer and whisper in her ear, "Use protection." I couldn't resist using my dads piece of advice.

"You're such an asshole!" She exclaimed as she hit me on the shoulder. I faked as if I were hurt.

"I know. See you later Mami." I replied as I walked back to the driver side door, giving her a wink and a smile as I chucked the deuces.

"Later Papi." She just shook her head and smiled as she walked towards the school, on her way to practice no doubt.

Before leaving the parking lot I texted Sydney letting her know I was going to the gym. But first I had to make a quick stop at home I went to grab my bag. Then drove the 20 minutes to the gym.

As soon as I walked into the building, I was greeted by Dylan who is one of the personal trainers manning the front desk. Dylan's 28 and 5 inches taller than me, with blonde spikey hair tapered faded hair with a thin strap beard and goatee. Most people's first impression of him is to automatically be intimidated by him because he seems like he's mean, but that couldn't be further from than the truth.

Well, at least for people who know him, around me he's like a big teddy bear. I grew up around him, I've been coming to this gym since I was 9. Within that time, Dylan and I have become close. Almost to the point where he's like my older brother. Dylan taught me a lot when it comes to bodybuilding and how to take care of yourself. I follow his regimen 'almost' to the letter. I like to have a cheat day every once and awhile.

"Hey Jordy, what's up?" Dylan says with a wolfish grin plastered on his face, because he knows he's the only one I'll let call me Jordy as a term of endearment. I just shake my head and smile at him.

"Nothing D, just came by to get in some cardio and lift a little." I walk up to the counter and hand him my membership card so he can enter it into the system.

"Did you need me to spot you?" He scans my card. I furrow my brow and contemplate his question.

"Yeah, probably in an hour though." He hands me back my card.

"Alright. Just come get me when you need me." Dylan says as I walk towards the locker rooms.

"Oh, fo' sho'." I say as I open the door, I hear Dylan chuckle, feeling a little silly as I mock today's youth, automatically making me think of Superbad, it's an inside joke between me and Dylan.

I wanted to get my full workout today. I changed into my boxer briefs, black sports bra then put on black and white Under Armor basketball shorts with the matching muscle tank top, then I put in my Air Pods as I make my way out of the locker room and head to the track. Before working out I always make sure to stretch for 10 minutes. I ran 3 miles on the track. Once I was done, I went into the weight room and started using the free weights, Dylan was there to spot me and to help push my limits.

I finished lifting and then decided to go next door to the Muay Thai Boxing gym to brush up on my skills. Normally I wouldn't mix cardio with Thai boxing or any fighting style for that matter but today was stressful and being in the Thai boxing gym has always helped to keep me focused and clear my head. In here, I could let out all of my aggression and calm my thoughts. I went to locker room and grabbed my gym bag.

I walked in and seen the twins Mathias and Manny in the ring practicing. They were both championship MMA fighters. They trained right along with me growing up. Coach has been pressuring me to get into a tournament, but I decline every time. I didn't want to get recognition, I do it because I enjoy it. That's how it all started. It hasn't been until recently that I've even begun to think of entering into a tournament. Key word being thinking.

I made my way to the back of the room and placed my bag on one of the benches then went to one of the corners and knelt on the blue mat with my back towards the wall. Raising my hands to my forehead while putting them in a triangle shape and bowed, making sure my hands touched the mat, repeating this action as I prayed silently for guidance, acceptance, courage, strength, agility, and overall wisdom. Not just for myself but for my opponents as well.

Once I'm done praying, I stretch my legs, placing my right leg in front of me and my left leg behind me while sitting on the ground. I extended my right hand outward as if I were blocking an imaginary strike, making sure to mimic my actions with my other hand, bringing both hands on either side of me, I push out any negative energy in a slow and calculated motion in front me. I bring my hands to my sides again, I extend my right hand across my chest, bringing it around above my head and then to my sides, repeating this action with the other hand. With both hands at my side, in a swift smooth motion, I put both of my legs at my sides so that I'm doing the splits, repeating my earlier movements 4 more times. After stretching for another 10 minutes, I decided to practice hitting the bags to loosen up.

Feeling satisfied after 30 minutes of hitting the bags, I decided to get into the ring. I stood in line which only consisted of one other guy who I never met before. I waited patiently for my turn. Mathias took out his opponent with ease, knocking him out with a roundhouse kick to the chest, the match didn't even last 2 minutes. I watched as Mathias moved around the ring to bring his adrenaline down while a couple of guys carried the unconscious guy out of the ring.

Mathias glanced in my direction and smirked, I knew that smile all too well. I wasn't going to let it bother me though, he thought that he had the upper hand today. What's a contact sport without a little friendly rivalry? Fun, that's what it is. I wasn't going to let him bait me. I took off my muscle tank and threw it on the floor, leaving me standing in my black sports bra, then I entered the ring.

I came face to face with my opponent, Mathias. Out of the twins, Mathias is the one I get along with the most. The twins are identical, the only difference is that Manny has a small scar just below his left eye. It's not real noticeable, unless you look close enough. That is if he allows you to.

The twins were Brazilian, dark complexion, brown eyes, dark brown hair long on top, put into a man bun, but braided at the ends, both short. I'd guess they were about 5'5", but what they lacked in height they made up for it in their strong athletic build and technique. Mathias sported their signature maroon Muay Thai trunks that had a yellow lion head on the front. The colors for Manny's trunks were inverted.

We touched gloves and I got into my stance. Placing my right foot towards the back and my left foot in the front, raising my hands in the fighting position. I did as I was taught and studied my opponent, I watched as Mathias jumped up and down and did his fight dance as he put his hands up getting ready to get into his fight stance. He moved his legs front to back with great speed in order to distract me, but all it did was help me to adjust to his fighting style.

We moved closer and stared into each other's eyes for a brief moment, the fire in my eyes igniting, I seen him flinch. Mathias quickly recovered and attempted to kick me with a low right kick to my leg, I blocked it with my left leg kicking it away, he stumbled back a step giving me enough time to kick him in the chest with my left leg, sending him stumbling back 3 more steps. It gave me a chance to run up to him, leaping in the air kneeing him in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

While on the ground Mathias kicked me in my abdomen sending me back a few steps, he flipped back up and came towards me with more determination than before. He sent a left kick to my side, but I managed to block it with my right hand knocking it away. He sent another kick, this time with his right leg, aiming for my left thigh but I blocked it with my left leg, then I quickly kicked his right inner thigh with my left leg.

Mathias seemed to be upset by not being able to connect a single kick after his fall earlier, so out of frustration he sends another kick to my left hip, but I end up grabbing his leg and swinging him to the ground then giving him a right handed punch to the chest. He puts his hands up in surrender, he looks more upset with himself than with me. Mathias smiles as I lend out my hand for him to take, he accepts without hesitation as I help him up.

"You're getting better." I comment while giving him a lopsided grin. He stands up to adjust himself, brushing off any imaginary dirt.

"What can I say? Coach has me training every day." He remarks as we both step out of the ring. I grab my tank top from the floor, putting it back on.

"How many times a week do you spend sparring?" I ask as we walk to the benches against the back wall. He takes a moment to think about it.

"Probably about 3 times a week. He replies as he smirks while I take a moment to assess this information. Internally putting the pieces together, taking off my gloves while he unwraps his boxing cloth from his hands.

"Hmm..." I just nod my head as I mentally think of how to comment without sounding like an asshole towards him and coach. I put my gloves in my gym bag.

"What?" He asks as I continue to think of what to say.

"Nothing." I didn't want to comment any further because I didn't want to sound like a pompous ass, I unwrapped my boxing cloth and begin to roll it up into an organized ball.

"Just tell me what you think I'm doing wrong." He prodded. I honestly didn't want to offend him or coach.

"Honestly?" I furrow my brows.

"Yeah, honestly." He said as he carelessly threw his gear into his bag. I didn't know if I should let him know my training regimen but then again, it's not a secret either. I do consider him a friend ever since we were little.

"It's not that you're doing anything wrong, no disrespect to you or coach, but I spar at least 5 times a week for at least 3 hours." I said shrugging my shoulders not trying to make a big deal of it. I grabbed my socks from my back and put them on.