All Comments on 'Castaway Ch. 03'

Hot damn! Let the Neanderthals rant about the reality of life and loving relationships today all they want--this is one GREAT story!

Can't wait to read the next chapter...and the next after that, and the next...!

Keep writing. Please.

MLJ

Still enjoying the story as a whole but, the author continues using cheap and easy plot points to move the story between James & Caitlin along.

Cyrus is on the run from the feds and decides to stop by James' house and spend the night fucking Caitlin. Don't you think the FBI would have had his business partner's house staked out as a potential place he might go?

Even if there had been something going on previously between Caitlin and Cyrus it was pretty obvious she was shocked that Cyrus tried to kill James. She also seems to be really upset at the idea of getting divorced so, why would she allow a felon who's on the run from the feds to stop by and fuck her again?

It just feels like an easy way to allow James to make the decision to divorce and move to Hawaii.

This story is in the LW category but, the author avoids really dealing with the conflict between James and Caitlin in favor of spending a lot of time on the rest of James' life.

"Dad, are you divorcing mom? Oh my god, you ARE!"

Of course I am, darling. Your mother didn’t trust me, and gave herself to another man. When that man shot me, she didn’t call for the police or an ambulance. It’s literally a miracle that I’m still alive. Not only am I divorcing her, I’m trying to get her prosecuted as as an accomplice to attempted murder!

ZK

This chapter is extremely overrated. I swear, too many people here vote 5s when a husband divorces a wife. The quality of writing, consistency of plot and character development and realism is entirely irrelevant to these people.

The main plot of this story thus far was the MCs marital problems. Caitlin was developed as loving but completely stricken with grief over what she believed was cheating by her husband. She conspires to get even and have him catch her but in the process her fuck body tries to murder the husband. Come to find out the FB was the husband's business partner and wanted to get hubby out of the way and fuck Cait. Now it's an affair???? Sorry, that's bullshit and stinks of "organic" writing which nearly ALWAYS amounts to laziness and shitty plots.

If the wife was in an affair then why did Cyrus state he did this to break the perfect couple because they made him sick? That line doesn't gel with everything after. If he was going to murder his partner then why only use a 22? If he was in an affair with the wife and hated his partner (as is suggested later), why the FUCK didn't he gloat and then finish the job?

It doesn't make sense which is why this chapter sucks. It has NOTHING to do with the story and is nothing but a bunch of new people that are irrelevant. Where is the plot arc now? Where is the rising tension. What the hell are you moving towards?

Christ, some of you are satisfied by such mundane nonsense.

Amazing, just totally amazing. The number of self-absorbed clowns who are so weak-minded approach to critiquing a story a story to ridicule another in most likely failed attempt to elevate their opinion of themselves.

Not everyone agrees with your warped opinions .

It's a simple matter, one that escapes those of a weak mind, if you do not like a story, in any way, as no one is forcing you to continue reading, STOP reading and find another story, I can promise you, no one will be upset that you departed. In fact, they may stage a celebration.

Cyrus shot him then dropped the gun on the floor. The cheating whore cleaned up the attempted murder scene. And why wasn't that attempted murder not enough to deny bail to Cyrus? There's quite a few weak plot line points that are just weak. The assertion by the whore that she was just getting even then spending the night with Cyrus while he was on the lamb. I truly hope the author isn't trying to set up a completely improbable raac.

I do think that this story has some holes, there are some things that don’t exactly track (I.e. the business partnership dissolution…it doesn’t work like that), and James sure leads a charmed life…all of those are valid criticisms, and I think the author is taking that feedback…but when you start talking about how “Caitlin wouldn’t do something…” or “no way Cyrus would go back to spend another night with Caitlyn” I have to take issue…criminals do dumb stuff all the time…even really smart ones…and people in stressful situations make poor decisions all the time. Just because you picture a character one way, or think there’s no way they would do something, you’re not the author. So maybe take a note from our protagonist and embrace your inner Hakuna Matata…you have already read 3 full chapters, so clearly you’re enjoying it enough to continue reading…just my 2 cents.

I love the commenter after me who completely ignored the points I made and either focused on completely irrelevant shit to the points I made or were mad because I stated this chapter was inconsistent with the development thus far.

It doesn't matter whether a human being or criminal would do something irrational. That's not the point. We were led to believe Caitlin didn't have an affair, that she truly loved her husband and was totally ashamed of her behavior. James believed her but now all of a sudden it's an affair and she is fucking Cyrus. Its sloppy and lazy writing plain and simple.

I wanted to answer AngelRider but was unable to send a direct comment. I'm not perfect, and never claim to be. I appreciate your criticism and don't take offense, although some other readers might. This stiry was an evolution and I never meant for it to be anything more than the fantasy that it is. I appreciate your review and hope youveenjoyed any of the other stories I've posted. If not, well I thank you for taking the time to comment on this tale.

All credit to the author for his ability to hold the readers in suspense not knowing what will happen next.

Umm. I actually enjoyed the mystery and intrigue of not knowing whether or not Caitlin had had an affair.

It was never stated clearly either way, the only person who denied it was Caitlin. Not the author, just one of the characters who we already knew was dishonest. And even after Cyrus spent the night at her place she still didn't admit it. So that was still not confirmation she was having an affair.