Casting Aspersions Ch. 01

"Not offhand, Chief." I said. The others shook their heads, also.

"O-kayyyyy." said the Chief. "For Affirmative Action in action purrrrposes, we have to advertise the openings. So let's do that, and see if any jewels show up amidst the shards of glass..."

Part 3 - Man In The Mirror

6:30pm. I came into the front door of the Mountain Nest to the wonderful smells of a delicious dinner cooking. I greeted my mother with a warm hug, then hugged and kissed Laura and Paulina. Two outstanding dogs presented themselves for some skritchins, which I lavishly applied. They moved towards the backdoor, but I realized something was out of place.

"Where are the kids?" I asked.

"Carole and Tasha are in Carole's room," said Laura, "and Jim is in his room."

"Uh oh." I said. "What happened?"

"Let's go walk the dogs." Laura said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the dogs went about their business, and succeeded in spooking a rabbit and giving chase to it, Laura and I sat down in the metal mesh loveseat. Laura said "I was going to tell you this after dinner, but it's now official that Jim is going to wait a year to enter first grade. He'll be in an accelerated kindergarten class, possibly with his brother Ross, if Molly makes The Cabin her official residence."

"You're good with that?" I asked. "About Jim, I mean?"

"I think it's the right decision." Laura said. "Jim did well on the reading test, but Carole was already figuring out basic math, and Jim didn't do as well on it."

"He may end up like Albert Einstein," I said, meaning it humorously, "who couldn't add 2+2 but already knew calculus, of course. Jim's going to be an engineer, if I don't miss my guess."

"The West Point curriculum is basically that of an Engineering school." Laura replied. "But there's another reason I think it's good he starts on time: he needs to develop his social skills. I'm already worried about Carole; she doesn't know what 'modesty' is. But she's also a girl, and girls mature faster and learn social skill better than boys. So I'd like Jim to have the interaction with others, without the pressure of being in first grade early."

"That's a good point." I said. "You should've majored in Psychology." That earned me a pinch on my arm. Then I said "I'm sure my mom wishes I'd developed better interpersonal skills." Laura chuckled.

"I think your mom wanted to get you out of the house and away from your sister." my wife replied.

"So what happened today?" I asked.

"When I told Paulina and your mother," Laura said, "and Carole overheard me. That was my fault; I should've realized she was there. She immediately began taunting Jim. She told him he was dumb because he was starting school late, while she was smart because she started school early. Jim got upset, and got up and tried to hit Carole. And I mean he threw a haymaker, but it missed."

I was sorely tempted to ask how Carole's Aikido skills did, but thought it best not to. "So what happened?" I asked. "Who won the fight?"

"Fortunately," Laura said, "Carole sidestepped Jim's swing and I was able to get to them quickly and separate them. But Jim is bitterly upset, and Carole isn't taunting him only because I told her to stop. She said she was just ribbing him, and she is not remorseful at all."

"Okay." I said. "Want me to talk to them?"

"If you would." said Laura. "Jim needs to hear it from his dad that he shouldn't hit girls. And Carole is tuning me out. I get the feeling that won't be the last time I ever say that."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I talked to Jim first. My concern was not that he'd tried to hit Carole (I'm Elizabeth's brother, remember?), but that her taunts had affected him so badly.

"So why did you try to hit your sister?" I asked. "She didn't try to hit you first, did she?"

"She called me dumb!" Jim wailed, tears in his eyes.

"You're not dumb." I said. "Dumb people couldn't build that great Lego City you built at The Cabin, and you already know how to read."

"So why am I starting school late, like Carole said?" Jim asked.

"Carole is wrong." I said. "You're not starting late, you're starting on time. And you're in the accelerated learning class, so that should tell you that you're not dumb, right?"

"I guess so." Jim said forlornly.

"And by going to school on time," I said, "you can make friends, play sports with other kids your own age and size, and have a lot more fun. Good or good?" That was one of P. Harvey Eckhart's seminar tricks, to instill something into the audience's heads.

"I guess." said Jim.

"And one more thing." I said, as an insight came to me. "If Carole was calling you dumb, don't let it get you down. Prove her wrong. Study hard, work hard, and by the time you graduate, we'll see who the smarter one is going to be."

That put a little light into Jim's blue eyes. "Yeah." he said, determination creeping into his voice. "I'll show her"

"That's what I'm talking about." I said. We fist-bumped, and I said "Okay, get ready for dinner..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Restoring Jim's psyche was easier than what came next: dealing with a five-year-old going on sixteen. Carole's mother was right; Carole had not learned modesty (wonder where she inherited that from? but I digress). And she was holding out firmly.

"What I don't understand," I said, "is why you were using such hurtful words, trying to hurt your brother like that. Why were you saying those things? Make me understand that."

"I was just ribbing him." Carole said. "You said ribbing was okay."

"Carole, that is not ribbing like putting stringbeans on your plate." I said. "What you were saying hurt your brother's feelings."

"How was I supposed to know that?" Carole asked.

I replied: "Good Detectives would've realized it when Jim tried to hit you. He was obviously very upset, and he wasn't ribbing you back; he was throwing punches."

"Oh." said Carole. Then she dug in again: "But Jim is dumb. He's starting school late. I started early because I'm smart." Definitely Elizabeth's niece, I thought to myself. And definitely my daughter, I had to admit.

"Yes, you are smart." I said. "But that doesn't make Jim dumb. And you started early because your friend Marie was starting first grade, and you were ready for it. Jim could start first grade now, but we're thinking about him when he gets older, and plays sports."

"Oh." said Carole.

"So... you didn't use Aikido on Jim when he tried to hit you?" I asked, unable to suppress my curiosity any longer.

"No sir." said Carole. "I would've hurt him really bad if I had, and you and Mommy would be really mad at me."

"I see." I said. "I'm glad you didn't do any more than you had to do. That was a good decision. Sometimes you might have to go all out, to protect yourself. But I'm glad you didn't hurt your little brother unnecessarily."

"That's what I have to do if I want to be the next Iron Crowbar, isn't it?" Carole asked. "I have to hold back sometimes." I blinked as that one really struck me.

"Yes, it is." I said, trying to mentally recover. "And you did well. It's a good start for you. Okay, go get washed up for dinner."

As Carole took off, I pondered those words. I'd not been pulling my punches. I'd told the EAD I'd gotten where I hit first and worried about it later. And that might not be for the best, I realized.

And like that Michael Jackson song said, I needed to look at the man in the mirror, and ask him to change his ways...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dinner was delicious, but unfortunately filled with tension. Carole and Jim had been asked to apologize to each other, but their apologies were not sincere, and they were not on speaking terms for the time being. Tasha was worried that saying anything to either of them would get her in trouble, so she said nothing unless I asked her direct questions to get her involved in the family dinner. Bowser and Buddy had decided that supervising from the greatroom was the better part of canine valor.

And I could also sense some tension in my mother. Something was not right in her own quietness. She talked a little bit about the new retirement community being built in Apple Grove, and that she was looking forward to moving into her apartment within it, and I talked with Paulina about Apple Grove and Fillmore County.

So after dinner the kids were told to get ready for bed, and they didn't put up the normal fuss about it. But it still took an hour to accomplish. Finally, Carole and Tasha were in Carole's bed, with the redoubtable Bowser in his basket, and Jim and Buddy were quickly asleep in Jim's room.

"Wow." I said as I sat down in my rocking chair as Laura served drinks. "Jim usually just shrugs off anything Carole says. What's different this time?"

"What Carole said may have touched a nerve." Laura said. "Jim may have questions deep down about his own abilities, and Carole saying that touched upon those fears."

"It probably doesn't help," I said, "that Carole was credited with seeing Marcie Harper's code and being rewarded for it, and she did start school a year early. And that's my fault, for not making sure he's getting praised for what he's done."

"Darling," Laura said, "you have spent hours with him on that Lego City, and I've heard you tell him many times how well he's doing. If anything, I should've been more aware of how he felt about Carole's achievements, and their effect on him."

"Were Don and his sister like this, Phyllis?" Paulina asked my mom.

"Oh my Lord, you have no idea." Phyllis said. "Fortunately, Carole and Jim are less than a year apart. Elizabeth was eight years older than Don, and that was a huge difference as children. And Elizabeth was just mean. I don't think either Carole or Jim have that in them. I certainly hope not, anyway."

After some further conversation about growing up in Apple Grove, which I wasn't keen on reminiscing about but endured it as Paulina was fascinated, two outstanding dogs came down the stairs.

"How did you guys get through closed doors?" I asked Buddy and Bowser as they arrived at the back door.

"Carole lets them out." Laura said. "She considers it a game to see if she can do it without anyone else knowing." No, Bowser and Buddy did not nod vigorously in agreement; instead, they looked from me to the door in expectation.

"I see, said the blind man." I said. "Okay, guys, are you ready to go out?" I asked as I got up. The dogs began going in circles. Must be their way of nodding vigorously in agreement, I thought to myself.

"I'll come with you, dear." said Phyllis.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the dogs inspected their territories, my mom and I sat down on the metal mesh loveseat in the very last of the light as night fell on my Town & County.

"So, Mom," I said, "I'm guessing you came out to tell me why you came down to visit."

"Not much gets past you, son." Phyllis said. "Yes, I got a call from Elsie Gringer. We used to be very good friends and we chatted often, but that ended when I moved back to Apple Grove... and of course when your war with her niece Bettina and the Press heated up."

"No apologies here for that." I said. "So what did Elsie want to gossip about?"

"Gossip. Literally." said my mother matter-of-factly. She explained: "The University's Journalism School is holding a symposium this week. It's officially called the 'Entertainment Media' symposium. Many people call it the 'TMZ Convention', but some of us call it the 'Gossip Convention'. Many national gossip columnists come to it every year, and they do what they're paid to do: gossip with each other."

"So if I ever find McGinty's Materials," I said, "I know exactly who to give them to."

"Oh, and would that ever be the sensation of the century!" my mom said. "And I don't know if it's that bad McGinty's information, but Elsie said that one of her friends, a Louella Hopper, had told Elsie that she had something big she wanted to talk to Elsie and to the 'Iron Crowbar's mother' about. I was curious, since Louella Hopper asked for me all but by name, and I came down. We're going to have breakfast with Louella tomorrow morning, then attend Louella's presentation at the symposium."

"I've heard Louella Hopper's name." I said. "She does a blurb on KSB every few days, and she's been a guest on 'Point Taken' very often. She's dug up dirt on a number of politicians and political candidates in the past, but mostly sordid sexual stuff. She talks about celebrities, as well, though not as much as Elsie."

"She had the 'dirt' on you and Laura very early in your relationship." Phyllis said. "Elsie told her at the time that pursuing that would not bother you, and would cause her, Louella, problems because of who Laura really was at the time. Louella has always had a reputation for being discreet about things like that, things that could cause more harm than good if she revealed them."

"And she's still in the business?" I asked acerbically. "These days, the Media doesn't give a damn who they hurt. They even put little girls in buildings full of explosives."

"Which was unforgivable, of course." said my mother. "Of course, not every journalist was a part of that nor even approving of it; many still recoil in horror at what that despicable Hardwood did."

"And the damage it's done to their already useless reputations." I said. Seeing my mom's look, I said "Okay, I'll stop talking about the group I love to hate. So no idea what Louella Hopper wanted?"

"No, son." said Phyllis. "We'll have to possess ourselves in patience, and wait until the morning."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*BRING!* *BRING!* *BRING!* *BRING!*

12:00 midnight, becoming Tuesday, July 16th. My Police iPhone ringing, along with Bowser barking furiously at it, woke me up.

"Troy." I said, answering as Laura got up to tend to Bowser and the girls trying to calm him down.

"Commander, this is Captain Perlman." said Captain Tanya Perlman. "There's been a murder at the University's Convention Center."

"On my way." I said. I got up and got dressed in my 'all black' clothing. As I went into the hallway, Laura was coming out of Carole's room, followed by the Redoubtable One, Bowser. He was not happy to see me dressed and going anywhere.

"Hey, Bowser, it's all right." I whispered as I petted him. "I'll be back soon." Bowser was not mollified, and was whimpering. Then he barked as he heard someone coming in the back door!

It was my mother Phyllis, and she was dressed. "If you don't mind, son," she said, "I'll go with you. Elsie Gringer called me. The dead woman is Louella Hopper..."

Part 4 - The Crime Scene

The University's Convention Center was an annex of the Student Center, and it was south of University Memorial Stadium and just north of the athletic complex. As my mother and I approached the building, I stuck out my hand and said "Here you go."

"What's this?" my mother asked as she took it.

"Your Auxiliary Detective badge." I said. "Welcome home."

"Thank you, son." Phyllis said. The badge and its leather holder were attached to a gold chain, which Phyllis put around her neck.

We went inside, where Campus Police cadets led us to the scene. It was a partitioned off room next to a large ballroom that had been holding a reception. There were Crime Lab and other LEOs milling about. A body lay on the floor, covered by a sheet.

"Hello, Officer Tarleton." I said. Campus Police Officer James Tarleton had once been a Cadet Officer, and was hired full time after graduation. Both my mother and I had worked with him before. (Author's note: 'Reichenbach', Ch. 03; 'The Knave of Jacks', Ch. 03-04; 'Just A Story', Ch. 02; 'Midnight City', Ch. 02.)

"Hello, Commander. Hello, Detective Troy." said Tarleton. "I'm glad you're here. We've got SBI here already, though they're not giving us any problems... yet."

"Good." I said. "Maybe it'll stay that way. Don't let us bother you; keep doing what you're doing."

"Thank you, sir." said Tarleton. He continued making notes in his notebook.

*Whirrrrrrrrrrr*

"Hello, Commander." said TCPD Captain of Detectives Tanya Perlman. "Hello, Mrs. Troy."

"Young lady," Phyllis said severely, "if you don't call me 'Phyllis' like you're supposed to, I will have to write you up and turn in that report to the Police Chief."

"Uh oh!" said Tanya, grinning cherubically. "But at least you're not reporting me to the Police Commander." I waved a red crowbar in both Tanya and my mother's general directions.

"So satisfy my curiosity, Captain." I said. "Why are you here?"

"Three reasons, sir." said Tanya. "First, I'm letting my Detectives sleep in, especially since this is on Campus. Second, because the FBI's most handsome Agent is here, and has an interest in the case..." I looked over and saw Tanya's fiancé, SAC Jack Muscone, on the other side of the room, talking to some people.

"And third," Tanya said with her lovely grin, "I heard that Auxiliary Detective Troy was in Town, and I thought she might show up. So I came by to keep her out of trouble." Phyllis smiled happily at that.

"And utterly failing at that last part." I said, knowing that Phyllis must've texted Tanya. "So Lady Ironside is on the case, eh? Okay, then, I'll go home and pet the dog, and you two handle it."

"You'll do no such thing." said a voice. I looked up to see Jack Muscone coming up to us. We shook hands as he said "I'm glad you're here."

"Out of curiosity, why is the FBI here?" I asked as Tanya led Phyllis towards the body, which Martha the M.E. had just started to examine. The deceased was a woman in her late 30s or early 40s, big but not obese, not exactly fit, either. Her hair was black, and her face was pretty but not beautiful.

"It's a long, long story." said Muscone. "I'll give you the Cliff Notes now: Louella Hopper was shadowing the U.S. Attorney's investigation of Bettina Wurtzburg and her relationship with the late Les Craig. She's a friend of Elsie Gringer, who is Bettina Wurtzburg's aunt. Part of the problem for us is that someone was leaking information to Ms. Hopper, and that someone was an insider."

"And she was giving Bettina and her attorneys the information?" I asked.

"We don't know." Muscone said. "We were feeding Hopper some false information, too, but Wurtzburg's attorneys never filed the motions we would've expected them to if they'd been told-------"

Something caught my eye, so I said "Sorry to interrupt, Jack, but why don't we discuss it in detail later. And you might not want to say anything to anyone about your knowledge of the deceased right now. Let's see what develops." I pointed towards Tanya, and Jack and I began eavesdropping...

Elsie Gringer had come up to Phyllis and Tanya. "Oh, this is so terriblllllle!" Elsie wailed. "I didn't know she was in Town yet, or I would have-------"

"Why don't we go to the other room and talk?" Phyllis said, interrupting Elsie to stop the gossip columnist from speaking further. A wise move on my mother's part, I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." said a young black man in a suit and tie. "None of the witnesses in the room are allowed to leave."

"But I wasn't in here when it happened." said Elsie.

Phyllis held up her badge. "It's okay, Special Agent..."

"SBI Agent Terence Johnson, ma'am." said SBI Agent Terence Johnson, showing his credentials. "And you are?"

"Detective Troy, with the TCPD." said Phyllis.

"Troy?" said Agent Johnson, looking surprised. "No offense, but I thought the Iron Crowbar was a man."

"And you are correct." I said as I came up to them. "I'm Commander Troy, a.k.a. SBI Reserve Inspector Troy. This is Detective Troy, and a darn sight better Detective than me. Yes, Detective, why don't you take Ms. Gringer out to the hallway and talk with her."