All Comments on 'Castles in Spain'

you write a mean story! Concise, Intelligent, mind provoking, even funny at times. Please do not pay attention to those fools who so totally misread your writing. I would like to say sincerely and truly that you are among the very finest, cleverest and wisest story tellers here. Thank You.

Sweetie & Dr. Bull get togrther because of a spectacular vehicle accident. Hubby gets taken out by a spectacular vehicle accident. That's what you get for driving on the wrong side of the road ... Cuckolded and smooshed! (The Devil made me do it! That, and an inferior education in the colonies!) The author could have had a bridge collapse on, or a meteorite hit, Hubby's auto!

The author tasks a fellow nurse of Sweetie's to report the unprofessional activity of Dr. Bull! But she has NO standing, and more importantly, no direct observation and no evidence (except a bag of locks!). Given that such hospital fuckery is reported to be fairly common, the more likely outcome will be for the nurse to find herself in her new job in a Northern Scotland nursing home!

How does a steel floorboard disintegrate? Even it it magically manages to do that, how fast do airbags inflate? We're back to collapsing bridge or meteorite!

UK Matt has twice submitted a first chapter without Ch.01 in the title, but his most recent one DOES! Assuming this one-pager is complete, it is extremely unsatisfying! If it IS a series, I plead for the title to so indicate. My new policy is to NOT read until a series is complete!

3*. (Might have been higher if this was Chapter 01,)

..it just didn't work for me this time. You included all of the usual tropes, but there just wasn't any spark there, and I found myself not really caring very much about what happened to the two main characters. I'd would think a significant re-write is necessary in order to fix this one.

You might want to consider getting someone as a second reader to give you an alternative opinion over whether a story is really ready to publish.

MB,

Good stuff. But, like some of the others, I have tio say it needed to be longer. Not sequelized, really just longer. This storyline has real promise. I personanly do not care for serialized stories, though when I first started I was guilty of a few of them, because i am too impatient to ever be satisfied with ending I have to wait for.

If I may, keep the characters, as someone else said, "you're getting very good in that area," and develop a series of independent stories based on them.

Anyway, great job.

Matt Moreau

I've really enjoyed your development as a writer. Your character development is improved and your stories are flowing much better. I would like to see a chapter 2 or more of an ending though. Having Stan in a coma is an unsatisfying way to finish.

Good story. Like others I wish it was longer.

One more line would have done it; As she bowed her head she heard the steady tone of the heart monitor and collapsed.

So far so good but needs a second chapter to clear up all the loose ends.

To the anonymous american idiots,Limey? no one says that any more its so yesterday.Just shows the level of education and intelligence in America,low.

This really needs more of an ending. Does he live? Does he divorce the mindless bimbo? Does the arrogant doc actually get canned and have his tarnished record following him around, what?

that he will lie to his wife and she should tell her husband the truth/ That makes zero sense. Would it not occur to Dr. Cock that Stan will tell Cock's wife of the affair? If you are trying to keep your wife from learning about your affair, you do not encourage others to spread it around. Just really dumb.

I mean, this plays out more like a satire than a LW story -- or any "serious" story for that matter.

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You seemed to be going somewhere with this, until you used the accident to force some things that seems sort of like a resolution, rather than actually writing a real resolution. You have her blame Dr. Cock -- as if she was innocent. You couldn't seem to make up your mind if he was a wimp or not -- as is evident by driving her to the airport and never bringing up the notion of her not going. It's only AFTER she is away does her stand up to her. Big fucking deal.

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This is just fucking silly.

Is this a chapter one or was that supposed to be an ending?

It's the UK version of Home Depot right down to the orange aprons

This cheating cunt whore skank slut wife is the worst type of woman who ever lived. It should be her lying in that bed, only conscious and in pain.

Dear Wimp author, is there going to be a part two in which he comes back to his sense to BTB or are you going to gloat in your hatred towards men with such an ending? Please repsond.

I don't know if this needs a sequel or not. It is very self-contained and well written. On the other hand, who wouldn't want Dr. Cock and Myra to receive some payback. Although it is clear she is receiving some now, although at the expense of her husband's life/health.

Nicely done 5*'s

If you write the sequel, and there is a lot of material you can cover, please tell us Yanks what a "B & Q" is. I do not think it is a BBQ, ie. a restaurant, as we know them on this side of the pond. Thanks.

One hopes her and her lover get AIDS and die slow, lonely, painful deaths

gave her just enough rope to hang herself. then chance pisses in his cornflakes. hope he doesn't wake up with partial amnesia and she gets to spin some dumbass story. Better than your usual liked it.

women like this think they are special and thinking makes them think they have the only slut hole in the world. You protrayed her and her amore very well. He convinced her to tell her husband the truth but told his wife a lie. And she was to self centered to know it. He was of the opinion he could destroy her marriage but his was sacred.

Finish it please.