Cat Got My Tongue Pt. 01

Erin let her in but did not respond to Cat's move to hug her. Erin turned on her heel and went back to her slice.

"Oh hello, mother," Shelly said with supreme indifference. "How very good to see you." Shelly did not even stand up. I could tell being called mother instead of mom rattled my soon to be ex-wife.

Cat looked at me, then at her two daughters. She seemed like she was in physical pain. I said nothing. She finally pulled out a chair and sat down across from me. The four of us around the little kitchen nook table again, just like old times.

Until Erin spoke. "Not that I give a shit, mother, but why are you fucking that loser?"

"Please watch your language, young lady," Cat admonished her.

Shelly snorted. "Language? Our dear mother is spreading her legs for strange cock on a goddamn exam table and we are supposed to clean up our language? Tell us, mother, are you fucking all the damn doctors?"

"Shit, even the pediatrician?" Erin said in fake shock. "Are your telling us our dear mother has lesbian tendencies?"

"David!" Cat looked at me.

I gave the eye to the kids and they sighed and shrugged. Like they were twelve again.

"I am not.... Not anymore. It's over."

Erin laughed. "Well howdy doody to that. You think medical science can find a way to get you unfucked? Maybe grow a new hymen along with it?"

"News flash. It's too late." Shelly stood, got the envelope, and dropped it in front of Cat. "Sign that, mother. 90 days later, you are history."

Cat stared at the envelope. "I don't want --"

Erin slammed her fist on the table, making the rest of us jump. "AND I DIDN'T WANT MY MOTHER TO FUCK AROUND ON MY FATHER!" She gave Cat a look of absolute hatred and continued calmly. "But she did. End of story. End of marriage."

"By the way, mother, you get the house." Shelly said. "But we are going to live with Dad. You can rent out our rooms if you want."

Cat looked at me, her eyes pleading. "David, say something. Why can't we talk about this."

Shelly waved her hand in the air. "No no no. You do NOT talk to my father. He has nothing to say to you. You let your cunt do the talking. Now you can start walking."

She and Erin exchanged a look like they wanted to high five after that snippet of rhyme.

"Don't you curse at your mother like that!" Cat shouted.

Shelly wiped her lips with a napkin and put it down dangerously slowly.

"Mother, our father is not speaking to you, as you may have noticed. I think that one reason for that is he is afraid he might talk, then yell, then shout, then scream. Then he might end up choking you. God knows that's what I want to do."

"Have you even considered what you have done to us?" Shelly asked. "And I'm not talking about the shame of having a slut for a mother. Erin and I now have to live with the possibility that your willingness to break your sacred vows and invite another man into your body was there in your genes all along."

Cat sat back as she began to realize where this was headed.

Erin continued. "Now Shelly and I are scarred. If I were to fall in love with a very nice man --"

"Someone who reminds us of Dad, probably," Shelly chimed in.

"Yes," Erin said. "And we love this wonderful man with all our hearts. But when he asks us to marry him, we now have to worry that someday down the road this genetic flaw pops up, we scurry off to the nearest bush and bang some random loser."

"Like you did," Shelly said. "And we destroy our marriage and break the heart of the man we loved most in our lives. You did this to us, mother."

"Thanks a whole fucking lot," Erin concluded.

Cat shook her head. "It's not genetic."

"How should we know," Erin said. "You still haven't given us a reason."

Cat hugged herself as if she were suddenly cold. "I really don't know. I felt old and ugly. You two were leaving. Don--"

"NO!" Shelly exploded. "Do NOT say his name in this house."

Erin nodded. "At least not until you get this place in the divorce and you shack up with him. Does he have kids? Which one gets my room?"

"Stop it," Cat said sternly. "I told you it is over. It's just that... he kept telling me how pretty--"

"Fucking A, mother," Shelly said sadly. "Dad always let you know how beautiful you are and how much he loves you. Loved you, I guess." She looked at me. I shrugged. "He was always touching you. Kissing you. What the fuck more did you want?"

"He has to say those things," Cat said pleadingly. "He is my husband. He has to tell me those things."

Both girls stared at her in wild disbelief.

"You.... you tossed away your marriage because some creep gave you a line?" Erin said slowly.

"Mother," Shelly said. "You are even a bigger fucking idiot than we first thought. Didn't it occur to you that you were being played? He complimented you to get into your pants. Dad compliments you BECAUSE HE MEANS IT!"

Cat put her head in her hands. "I know." She looked up at me. "I'm sorry, David. It will never happen again."

"Fucking A right it won't," said Erin. "Because you will be single in about three months. Then you can give up your twat to anyone who happens to walk by and tell you how fucking nice your hair looks today."

**********

"Hi Gran," Erin said. "Hold on. I'll put you on speaker."

"Hi Gran," said Shelly. "What's her status?"

"Hello girls. Your mother is having a rough time. She just sits in her room. She will come down and watch a movie with me, but it's like she had her lights turned out. My wonderful little girl has grown up into a zombie. I know it's her own damn fault, but what can I do for her?"

"Nothing you can do," Shelly said. "Has she had any contact with lover boy?"

"She says no, other than in the office, strictly business, and I believe her. She's too beaten down. And she knows I have watched every minute of those videos. The day she begged me to move back in I told her that if she touched him again or lied to me, she was out on the street. She drags herself into work, so she still has to put up with seeing him every day. It can't be good for her."

"No," agreed Erin. "It can't.

**********

Dr. Wilson knocked on the exam room door and got a perky "Come in!" in reply.

Inside, a tall young woman was sitting on the table. Dr. Wilson extended his hand. "I'm Dr. Wilson."

"I'm sure you are," the woman said, taking his hand firmly.

Dr. Wilson blinked, then looked at the folder in his hand. "Miss--. You didn't fill in your last name."

The woman shrugged. "Names. I have more problems than that."

He closed the folder and looked her over. She was obviously in good health. She was probably here because her boyfriend had knocked her up. "How can I help you?"

"Well," she said. "For one thing, do you think I have beautiful tits?"

He balked. "What?"

"Do you think I have beautiful tits? Is my cunt tight and slippery? Do you love fucking me?"

"Look, Miss--. Whatever your name is. I am going to call a nurse. I think you should leave. Now"

The woman removed a phone from her pocket and tapped the screen. She held it up so could see the two figures screwing. He heard his own panting voice small and tinny. "Catherine.... Your tits are so beautiful.... I love fucking --"

He grabbed the phone and stabbed at it several times trying to stop the video. "Oh God. Your cunt is so tight --" He finally found the pause button.

"What the hell is this?" he shouted.

"Catherine?" the woman said. "Nobody calls her Catherine."

He shook the phone at her. "Where did you get this?"

"From Catherine, of course. Don't bother to call for her. She is off today, which is why I am here."

"Who are you?"

"Her daughter. Which you would know if you spent more time taking an interest in your employees and less time seducing them."

He paled. "You should leave. Before I call the police."

"Yeah, that's rich. If you think my mother's tits are beautiful, then prepared to be blown away by some firm 18-year-old boobies." She put her hands to her blouse buttons.

He put up his hands. "No."

She paused. "Oh, I see. Your wife wouldn't be happy about that. Or your four kids. Let's see..." She took out a sheet of paper from another pocket and unfolded it. "That would be Maureen Wilson, nee Stafford, and your wonderful kids Mikey, Joey, Rosie, and Saul." She lowered the paper. "Really? Saul?" She looked back down. "email mwilson56 at comcast dot net?"

"What the hell do you want?" he snarled.

"The email is ready to go," she said, pointing at the phone. "Just say 'Siri, send mail in outbox'. Oops. I think she just sent it."

Dr. Wilson dropped the phone as if it were a chunk of burning lava. Then he cursed and stomped on it.

The young woman giggled. "Nice try, doc. That was an old iPhone, worth maybe ten bucks. I was bluffing, by the way. Oh, the email is still on my good phone, ready to be sent."

"Please don't," he was suddenly calm.

"Tell me, doc. How many?"

He was confused. "What?"

"How many of the women who work here have you fucked? How many times have you waited for them to reach middle age so you can flatter them into dropping their knickers for you?"

He didn't answer.

"I thought so," she said, stretching her arms way above her head. Dr. Wilson's eyes followed them up and up. "You keep scalpels in here?" She nodded at the cabinets.

"Uh... yes... why?"

"Are they sharp enough to remove a man's scrotum, you think?"

Something in her eyes made him turn for the door.

"You have until Friday to get out of Dodge," she called after him. "Then Maureen gets copies in high def. And your mother and father, and the local paper, and the state medical board."

He was already running down the hallway.

**********

"This is bad."

Erin and Shelly were deep in the shadows at the back of the large equipment shed. They were watching their father, who stood alone near the front, holding a chain saw. Just holding it. Not pulling the cord, not testing the chain tension. He was just standing still, the saw dangling from one hand.

"This is bad."

"What did you expect? Mother bitch slut broke his heart. He loved her so much."

"I know. And I know she had to go. And I still hate her."

"But does he hate her?"

"I think so. Just imagine what was going on in his head when he saw that video the first time. Years of love, smooth sailing, and suddenly your heart hits a wall. No warning. No time to brace yourself. Probably injured him inside."

"Yeah. Just look at him. I'm worried."

"Sis, do we understand how men work?"

"Apparently we don't. Not really.... What are you thinking?"

**********

"Girls," their Gran began, "your mother is not getting any better. I know you want her to suffer, but do you want me to suffer too? I can't stand to see her so low and hopeless."

"I never thought of it like that," Erin said. "We were just fixated on trying to hurt her like she hurt Dad."

"You have any suggestions, Gran?" Shelly said.

"Do you think there is any chance he would stop the divorce?"

"No way. Our dad is a stubborn dude, and in this case he has every right to be. She lied and cheated. Their marriage is broken beyond fixing."

Gran sighed. "I think you are right about that. Do you think you could get David to just talk to her? She says that he has not said one word to her since that day."

"I doubt it. His pride was busted bad that day. His response was to shut her right out. I don't know if he will ever talk to her again."

"Girls," Gran said more quietly, "she calls his number several times a day. If he answers, she hangs up. If it goes to voicemail, she stays on just to hear his voice on the recorded greeting. She cries to herself while she listens. She thinks I don't hear her. She never leaves a message."

The girls looked at one another. This was sweet victory and horrible sad defeat all wrapped into one.

**********

"Okay, boys," said Erin. "This is your time to shine. We have some questions that only a man can answer."

"Is the answer that I screw you?"

Erin sighed. "No, Tommy. It is not. Aren't you on the honor roll?"

"My name is on that fucker in fucking indelible ink," said Tommy. "Turns out you can be smart and get laid."

"That remains to be seen."

The other boy snickered and Shelly slapped his arm. "Pay attention, Noah. This is serious. Like no pussy for the foreseeable future for you serious."

Tommy laughed, and then stopped when he saw Erin glaring and nodding. He swallowed hard. "Okay. What are the questions?"

They were in the basement of Noah's house, the media room and rumpus room. And makeout room, but there was no vibe from the sisters that suggested making out today was even a remote possibility.

They told their boyfriends the whole story.

"So our question is: as a man, would you ever be able to forgive a woman who cheated on you like that?"

"Actually," Noah said. "I know something about --"

"Woah." Tommy interrupted. "Has Shelly been screwing around on you?"

Shelly sashayed up to Tommy, smiling seductively. Then backhanded him in the crotch. "Pay attention!"

Tommy gasped and fell back onto the couch, both hands covering his nuts. "Okay!"

Noah sighed. "Dumbass. A couple of years ago, my mother boned a salesperson at her real estate agency. One of the secretaries tipped off my dad."

"But your parents are still together," Erin pointed out.

"Yeah, but it was touch and go for a long time. I heard the whole thing play out."

"They were that loud?"

"Fuck no," Noah said. "They were keeping the volume down so me and my little brothers wouldn't find out. So I bugged the place. Top to bottom. Yay Amazon."

"Fuckin' A," Tommy said admiringly.

"They didn't pass gas without me recording it. I heard everything. At first my dad was all for divorce. No forgiveness. He was hurt bad. Like your dad. Having your wedded wife fuck another guy is emasculating. Our man lizard brain wants to strike back. That's why you always read about men finding their wife or girlfriend in bed with another and it turns into a murder suicide."

Tommy rubbed his crotch carefully. "Knowing your dad, I suspect his first instinct was to put them both through a wood chipper."

Erin nodded. "Instead he just shut up. His rage manifested in silence."

"Creepy but just as powerful as screaming," Noah pointed out. "Especially for your dad, who always has a good word. Your mom must be apeshit that he has frozen her out."

"Fuck her and continue," Shelly said to Noah.

"My dad had come up with a plan, before I started listening in. It put my mom on a short leash if she wanted to have a chance a staying. She did agree, though. They started going to counseling. I couldn't tap into that, but I did hear them talking about their sessions. What I came away with was that cheating is a unique insult to a marriage. If your wife or husband drinks, or gambles, or is violent -- those are all things that two people can deal with and overcome. But once another penis gets involved, it becomes a different animal. Very deep and profound emotions come into play."

"Yeah," said Tommy. "Your dad might forgive your mom, but he is never going to look at her pussy again -- wait, can I talk about your mom's pussy without getting tagged in the nuts?" He put his hands back over his manhood.

"Just this once," warned Shelly.

"Okay then. Your dad is never going to look at your moms... vagina... again without thinking about the other guy's cock being in there. It's going to be an eternal threesome with one unshakeable ghost."

"That's fucking poetic, Tommy," Erin said.

Tommy beamed. "I know, right? Anyway, that is got to be a deal breaker."

"It's true," Noah said. "I heard my dad crying once, talking to my mom. How all he can think of is the other guy on top of her. How he can't stand to put his mouth on her... you know... thinking of the other man's semen that has been there. How everything else he could eventually forgive. But he could never forget. He would always think of her as dirty. Sullied, I think was the word he used."

Erin frowned. "Crap. How do you get past that?"

"But your mom wasn't a virgin when they married," Shelly said. "Probably. How does he rationalize that? What's the difference when the peen was in? Why isn't he going to taste all her former lovers forever? Why just this one dude?"

"That right there is why you need us dudes," Tommy said. "See, I don't care about the dozens of guys that Erin put out for before me --" He paused to dodge a cushion. "When you start seeing a new girl, she gets a reset. The odometer goes to zero. The caveman lizard brain erases all the shadows from previous johnsons."

Noah nodded. "I suspect women feel it a little differently. It's evolution. A woman knows the baby inside her is hers. Her man doesn't know for sure. Another thing that my dad said was that if he did accept my mom back into his bed, he would forever worry that the new trick she was using on him came from the other man. He would be wondering what things the other guy got to do to her that she had never allowed my dad to do. And he would wonder every time her eyes were closed if she was thinking about the other man. Specifically, I guess, about the other man's prick."

"Wow," Erin said. "That is a lot of baggage. How the hell did they got past it?"

**********

"Red alert" said Gran.

Shelly put her phone on speaker. "What is it?"

"Your mother has a date. She said that the divorce is final, and she knows now that she has lost David forever. One of the girls in the office set her up with a blind date Friday. He will be picking her up at 7 pm. Is that enough information?"

"Sure is, Gran," said Erin. "Thank you. We'll take it from here."

**********

"Jesus H. Christ, look at that." The girls were standing behind a large rhododendron in their Grandmother's front yard, watching a man approaching the house. He was thin with sandy hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He looked about 30.

"He's just a baby."

"Yeah, but he brought flowers. Points for that."

"To get into our mother's pants, don't forget."

They stepped into view and cut the guy off before he was at the steps. He stopped and looked at them questioningly.

"Going somewhere, pal?"

The man glanced nervously at the house number then furrowed his brow. "I, uh, have a date."

"Correction. You had a date. Better luck next time."

"What?"

"We are the arbiters of your date's... dates.... That came out oddly."

"What she means to say is that you have been examined and found wanting."

"What? By who? Who are you?"

"We are the children of said date. By the way, how old are you?"

"I am -- that's none of your business."

"Wrong answer. But in your defense, there was no right answer. Now scram!"

"Yeah. Before we call the cops."

"Cops? I have a date!"

"You had a date. Now you are just trespassing."

He took a phone out of his pocket. "Look, let me call --"

"RAPE! RAPE! CHILD MOLESTER!"

The man turned and ran toward the street.

Their mother, who had arrived at the front door just in time to witness the end of this little skit, burst out of the house and tried to chase down her fleeing suitor, but Erin and Shelly grabbed her. Each took firm hold of an arm and lifted her back onto the steps.

"What are you doing?" Cat cried. "That was Lenny. That was my date."

"No mother of ours dates anyone named Lenny," Erin said. "Or did you not know that?"

"What the hell are you thinking, mother?" scolded Shelly.

"I was trying to go on a date." Cat managed to free her arms from her captors. "I am a single woman. I can go on a date, no matter what his name is."

Erin grabbed her mother by the shoulder and pushed her back. Cat realized at that moment just how much larger and stronger than her the twins had become.

"How many men have you fucked?" Erin was right in her mother's face.