Changes

Scarlett started a new, permanent job in a popular hotel in the city centre. She had worked in hotels when she was a student so she was used to the horse play and pranking that went on between the staff. She was surprised to find this hotel was very old fashioned, despite being central and so busy they didn't even have a computer system and the other people that worked there were mainly members of the family who owned it. They treated Scarlett like she'd travelled hundreds of miles to work there, even though she only lived 10 miles away. They mocked her accent, played tricks on her and, despite having lived in a few different countries over the last 4 years she felt more out of place than ever.

Shane was no comfort. He texted her to find out how her first couple of days had been and told her she needed to get over herself and give it a chance. By her fourth shift, Scarlett couldn't bear to go back to the hotel. She phoned Shane mid-panic attack saying she couldn't go to work. Shane sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. "Babe, you've got to pull yourself together! You've got a job and there are plenty of folk desperate for a job at the moment! Just cos it's not what you want to do, you can't just not go back. You're such a snob!" he said, exasperated.

Scarlett tried to explain herself but she was too upset. It wasn't that she didn't want a job, it wasn't that it wasn't what she wanted to do and it wasn't that she was a snob. That particular job just wasn't for her. "Can I come over tonight?" she asked.

Shane hesitated. "Not tonight, babe. I'm wrecked, I wouldn't be much company. I'll see you at the weekend though? Come over on Friday?" he asked. She agreed.

She phoned the hotel and handed in her notice on the spot. She spent the rest of the day going to recruitment agencies and shops, handing out her CV and by the end of the day she'd got herself 2 part time jobs. She celebrated by buying herself a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates and settled on the sofa to watch the televised highlights of the music festival happening in the park near Shane's house.

The next morning she logged onto social media and as the feed loaded, she felt sick. There was Shane tagged in loads of photos at the music festival with his colleagues. The music festival he knew she wanted to go to, that she asked him to go to but he said he wouldn't spend the money because it was only round the corner from his house, that he lied to her about going to - saying he was 'wrecked and wouldn't be much company'. She felt sick and foolish and upset and then she felt angry. What was the point in him lying about this? she wondered. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. She phoned him but it went to voicemail, she didn't leave a message and he didn't call her back. Suddenly something in her just changed and she made a decision.

On Friday she spent the morning at one of her new jobs, she felt much happier and excited for the new challenge. In the afternoon she drove to the city centre and met Shane at Starbucks. He was hungover, as usual, and awkwardly subdued. Scarlett acted like everything was fine, she didn't tell him she'd quit the hotel or that she'd got 2 new jobs.

"Isn't your graduation soon?" Shane asked. Scarlett nodded, sipping her coffee. "I thought I might come along?" he asked.

Scarlett frowned at him. "Why?" she asked.

He laughed, surprised at the question. "Because! I'd like to, I supported you through the end of your studies and..."

"Did you?" Scarlett interrupted, raising her eyebrows and laughing. Shane looked at her, shocked.

"It's in a week and a half...have you booked flights and a hotel and do you even own a suit?" she asked.

He stuttered.

"No?" she said in mock surprise. "It's a good thing I don't want you there then, isn't it?"

"OK..." he said, shifting in his seat.

"It's limited seating so only my family are coming cos that's who I want to be there, we booked the flights and hotel a couple of months ago." she shrugged.

"Oh, I see. You never mentioned it so..." he said, disappointed.

"I just didn't think you'd care or be interested since it's important to me. It's not like I LIED about it or anything..." she smiled.

"Scarlett, what the fuck?... I'm too hungover for this shit. What's got into you?" he said, irritated.

"Nothing! I just don't understand why you lied about going to that music festival in the park when you KNEW I wanted to go. If you had plans then all you had to say was 'I've made plans to go with someone else'." she said, nonchalantly.

He rubbed his eyes and beard and looked at her awkwardly. "Eh...I...how did you...?" he stuttered.

"There's no point denying it Shane, you're tagged in photos all over social media. You've got to get more tech savvy cos your sins will find you out. I just don't understand why you had to lie about it." she said, disappointed.

"It was a last minute thing, Orla had a spare ticket and asked me to go with her and her friends and I just said yes. It was just spur of the moment." he protested.

Scarlett shook her head. "Why are you still lying?" she asked.

"I'm NOT!" he replied.

"YOU ARE! You're lying to my face when I know fine well those tickets sold out weeks ago! Everyone who Orla usually tags in photos was already there along with the rest of your office. What's the point in lying?" she hissed.

Shane sighed. "Fine, believe whatever you want but I'm telling the truth!" he sulked. They finished their coffees in silence. "Do you want to go and get dinner?" he asked. Scarlett agreed. They walked to a local pub not holding hands, the sun was shining and it was warm. A tall, thin woman with blonde hair, wearing a summer dress and sunglasses stopped them. Shane seemed reluctant to talk to her. "This is Scarlett. Scarlett, this is a friend of Orla's..." Shane said.

"Gemma." the girl smiled and shook Scarlett's hand.

"Yeah...Gemma." Shane repeated.

"Hi, how are you?" Scarlett smiled.

"Yes, great. Isn't this weather brilliant?" she said.

Shane and Scarlett agreed and Shane tried to usher them on but Gemma continued to talk.

"Did you have a good time the other night? The music was great!" she asked Shane. He nodded. "It was a shame you couldn't make it, Scarlett. Shane said you've just started a new job. You missed a good night! Right?" she giggled, nudging Shane.

"Yeah!" Shane laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Scarlett turned sharply to look at Shane. "Yes, what a pity." she said, swallowing hard. She didn't hear the rest of the conversation, she was thinking too much.

She felt Shane pushing her towards the pub and he held the door open for her. They sat down in a booth in the back corner and looked at the menu in silence.

Their food arrived and they ate in silence, Shane commented on the food, trying hard to get a reaction from Scarlett but she said nothing. She couldn't finish her food and sat back, folding her arms and watching him. "Look, I didn't want to tell you I was going cos I knew you wanted to go and it wasn't my place to invite you when Orla had organised it." he said.

"But you had to give an excuse as to why I wasn't there? That's what that girl Gemma said outside a minute ago." Scarlett said, quietly. Shane sighed and shrugged. "Don't bother making up anything else. I dread to think what you've told your work colleagues about me. Maybe that's why you didn't want me there." she pursed her lips.

"No, it's not! Laura from work said..." Shane started.

Scarlett interrupted. "You do know that I know when you say 'Laura from work said' that it's your way of getting me into doing something, don't you?"

Shane looked at her with his mouth open and tried to reach across the table for her hand but she pulled away. "That's not...I don't..." he shook his head and looked at her, confused.

"I know Laura from work is a bit flamboyant but I don't believe anything you tell me about her anymore. I've let you use it as an excuse to do whatever you want with me and it needs to stop." she said, looking down at her hands. Shane sat back and looked at her, his eyes searching her face for a softening he could manipulate.

She got up and went outside, sitting at a table by the door and lighting up a cigarette.

Shane came outside shortly afterwards. "Shall we go home?" he asked quietly, standing by her chair and looking down. She looked up at him and then to the door. "It's OK, I've paid. Let's go home." he said. She held up her cigarette, signaling she was going to finish it first. He nodded and shifted on his feet. "I don't use Laura as an excuse, Scarl. I definitely don't use it to get you to do...stuff." he said, quietly.

Scarlett raised her eyebrows. "Really?! That's not true. What about when you put your dick in my ass or when you wanted to fuck in public or to do anything I'm not comfortable with?" she asked. "I'm not against any of it but you don't go about any of it the right way and you know it."

"SCARLETT!" he hissed through gritted teeth. "There are people around!" She shrugged and smiled. "Have you lost your mind?" he asked.

"No, actually quite the opposite." she smiled.

They walked back to the car and drove home without much conversation. Shane was on edge and Scarlett was strangely content. They went into the house and Shane went to the bathroom while Scarlett went up to his room. She went in to Shane's room and quickly gathered any of her belongings she'd left lying around. Shane came in and looked at her, she shrugged. "We don't go anywhere or do anything together anymore and you obviously don't WANT to, after what you did the other night." she said.

Shane shook his head and shrugged apologetically. "What's that?" he asked, looking at the pieces of clothing and accessories she was holding.

"Just random crap I've left here recently, suppose I should take it home." she said, stuffing it into her bag.

"Don't go yet, Scarl." Shane said, approaching her and stroking her upper arms. He kissed her softly on the lips and teased his tongue into her mouth.

She broke their embrace. "We just have sex, that's it Shane. Mostly angry sex at that." she said.

"It's just a lull, a bit of a rough patch babe. We can't be 100% all the time." Shane said, hugging her to him. "And at least we're still having sex." he said with a nervous laugh, kissing her head. "Please stay for a while." Shane said, half-heartedly.

It felt hollow and robotic but still Scarlett nodded and slipped her shoes off before sitting on the bed. Shane lay down beside her and pulled her down onto the bed. He lay over her, kissing her passionately and moaning as he stroked his hands all over her body. Scarlett felt him grinding his hard cock against her and she unbuttoned his jeans as he pulled his t-shirt up over his head and threw it on the floor. "Lie down" Scarlett demanded. He looked at her, surprised but did as she said. Scarlett stood up, pulling her trousers off her and throwing them on top of her bag. She pulled Shane's pants down to his knees and his cock sprang up. She straddled him and pulled her pants to the side. He rolled on a condom.

"I can't cum when I'm on my back." he said, urgently. It was the first time she'd ever heard him mention that. She shrugged, frowned and rubbed his cock along her pussy lips.

He frowned at her and gasped as she slowly slid down onto his cock. She groaned and immediately began rocking on him. They didn't speak and she didn't look at him, the only sound was how wet she was and the creaking of the bed as she rode him. He gasped and panted at the speed she moved, holding her hips to try and control it better but she continued fucking him quickly. She leaned on his chest with her left hand and circled her clit with her right hand, breathing heavily and moaning as her orgasm built. "Scarl...babe..." Shane groaned, grasping her thighs but Scarlett ignored him, she was lost in herself. She began to fuck him hard, feeling her clit tingle and she knew she was close. She moaned and rocked until her body convulsed and she threw her head back, moaning and bucking her hips on him as she came. "Fuck that's hard!" Shane groaned, feeling her pussy clench him. "Oh fuck!" he gasped. Scarlett's face contorted and she panted, smiling. She looked down at him, she couldn't tell if his face showed pleasure or pain. She leaned up on her knees, pulling his still hard cock out of her, her pussy dripped on him and she fixed her pants. She sat back on her feet, catching her breath. "Fuck you came so hard babe!" he said, stroking her thigh. "Are you alright?" he asked.

She giggled and nodded. "Yeah...just a minute." she breathed. Shane nodded and lay his arms behind his head, expecting her to nip to the bathroom before returning so he could fuck her. Scarlett got up and pulled her trousers on, lifted her shoes and bag. She ran gleefully down the three flights of stairs, stopping at the bottom to pull on her shoes and take out her car keys before going out the front door and getting into her car. She looked up at Shane's bedroom window and saw him looking down at her, confused. She smiled to herself as she drove away.

She knew that she wouldn't let him near her again. After everything that had happened between them in the last 2 years and how she had let him treat her, all the times she forgave him and his actions, she finally realised she had to leave this poor excuse for a relationship and draw a line under it.

She graduated from University with her family watching, she changed her phone number and her email address. For the first few months after she left she declined invitations from friends' parties where Shane might be. She made new friends at her new jobs, she went on holiday and spent time with her family. She didn't tell anyone the full extent of Shane's behaviour towards her throughout their relationship.

A couple of months later Scarlett was queuing to buy tickets at the cinema, her friend had gone to buy them snacks. Scarlett felt a sharp tap on her shoulder. "That was quick!" she laughed as she burled around. But it wasn't her friend, it was Shane. Scarlett felt sick, she searched the lobby for her friend.

"Hello you, haven't seen you for ages! We kind of... lost touch." Shane chuckled. His soft accent that once was so appealing to her was now sinister and a pit of dread opened up in her stomach. Scarlett panicked. "I tried texting and phoning but..." Shane shrugged.

Finally Scarlett saw her friend through the crowd. "I have to go!" she said, urgently. She made a beeline for her friend who saw her distress immediately. "Shane just came up to me, like nothing had happened, like he'd done nothing wrong. He was acting like we just saw each other yesterday, like we were going to pick up again." she explained frantically, trembling. Her friend comforted and reassured her. Scarlett managed to calm down but the effects of her tumultuous relationship with Shane would stay with her and she would replay them as an early warning system.

15 years later, Scarlett would reflect back on their relationship. Some of it was a blur and she knew she wasn't the innocent party all the time but she also realised a lot of what had happened was very wrong and she spent a long time coming to terms with it. She decided to write it down, the moments, the conversations, the feelings, the glances, the smells, the sounds, the turmoil that was still so fresh in her mind and burned into her memory. To her surprise, it turned out to be more cathartic than she could've ever imagined. In fact, she'd highly recommend it.