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Click hereHeather, collapsed onto the couch in my mother's office and started to cry. My mother spoke up angrily, "You stupid ungrateful son. Do you know all that I have done for you, and this is how you pay me back? I had you all set up with the perfect wife and the perfect job that would keep the Prentis name in charge of my company for the next generations."
"Mother, at no time did you ever consider what I want. Although I am where I am because you pushed me in this direction. I did do all the work which ended in me getting my Ph.D. So, yes, thank you for the direction, but I am proud of the work that I have done and now I want to put myself in the direction I want to go. One day I may be back here at Prentis, but it will be on my terms and timetable."
I then turned around and walked out. I heard my mother scream at me and Heather sobbing as I closed my mother's office door.
If this is intro it is fine but it lacks depth and feeling. Everything that has happened so far has been telegraphed and obviously he gets together with his father’s family who are just too coincidentally in the same business and ends up with his Thai princess.
I hope that this goes somewhere, not a lot of action which leads to not a lot of descriptions, the characters aren’t that bad so far.
I know that LW stories have their share of controlling mothers and mothers in law, but somehow I found this character’s situation and self-awareness attractive, and engaging. I’m looking forward to the rest of the tale.
Good start to your story, I look forward to the next chapter
Thanks for writing
to Tx77Tumbleweed
This was a decent start, but entirely too brief for a chapter..... 4.2 stars for an under length first chapter.
Who are you to say whether this chapter was short or long for that matter. You think you are the authority that controls this!