Cheryl's Lament

As I watched in horror, it tore chunks of flesh out of me. It swallowed some, but threw other chunks on the ground next to the rock. The pain grew worse and worse and just as I thought I would pass out, the bird stopped and flew away. I looked down and saw a huge hole where my abdomen was. Blood poured out of me and I thought I was going to die.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. I passed out and woke up when a white bird landed on my head again. I don't know if it was the same bird as before, but it had a piece of something in its beak and put it in my mouth before flying away. I chewed and swallowed it, then looked down and saw my abdomen was back to normal, except for a few splatters of blood.

I thought I was going to be okay until I heard an ungodly noise at my side. I looked and saw a strange reptilian creature that reminded me of those monsters from the Jurassic Park movies. I cringed and tried to back away, but the chains wouldn't allow any movement. It looked at me with menacing yellow eyes before screeching in my face.

Then it reached out with one of its short arms and slashed my breasts and stomach. I screamed in pain, and the creature kept slashing. Then it opened its huge mouth, letting me see row after row of long, sharp teeth. I screamed again, but it bit into my abdomen and took a huge chunk of flesh. The pain was unbearable and I cried out. I saw the monster chewing on what it had taken from me. It finally left and I looked at my ruined body, taking in the damage that had been done.

Under normal circumstances, I knew I would have died from my wounds, but like the old cowboy said, I was kept alive. Again, I passed out from the pain just as the sun was beginning to set and I realized this was going to be my eternal fate.

This went on, day after day after day. Each morning started with the white bird bringing my daily sustenance. Most days found my body being torn by one animal or another. Tigers, lions, birds, reptilian creatures that looked like dinosaurs, you name it. They would come, torture me, tear me apart, then leave.

They didn't always go after my stomach or abdomen. Sometimes, the birds pecked at my face, taking out my eyes. Other times, the animals would go after my chest. Once I thought I saw them taking one of my lungs. No matter what they took, I always survived the attack and my body would heal as I slept during the night. The next day it would start all over again.

The only respite I got from the creatures were the days when the weather was bad. Several times, the wind would pick up and I would find myself covered in grit and dirt. When the wind finally died down, the clouds would move in and drench me with rain. It was so hard laying on that rock, exposed, unable to get any cover. Several times I thought I was going to drown. Many times, I hoped I would drown just to end the pain.

When I wasn't being tortured by animals or pelted with dirt and rain, I cried. I screamed. I sobbed and begged for help, but none ever came. I began having imaginary discussions with you in my mind, begging you to forgive me while telling you that I had learned my lesson.

One day, after I had eaten my daily "food," a very large bull with huge horns walked up to me. I had never seen a bull like this before, not even at the rodeos my father used to take me to when I was a child. I trembled in fear as he sniffed between my legs for a few minutes.

Then he jumped on the rock where I was chained, putting his front hooves on either side of me and sniffed my face. We were literally nose-to-nose and I could smell his putrid breath as he sniffed me with those giant nostrils. I looked down and saw his bovine dick start to get hard.

"No, please, not that," I begged quietly. I thought I could handle just about anything, but not that! I laid there as still as I could as he sniffed at me. Then, he jumped down off the rock and walked away. I let out a deep sigh, thinking I had just dodged the worst thing I could possibly experience.

Just then, I screamed in agony as the bull charged as hard as he could into me, goring me with those giant horns. He backed away, then charged again, and I felt the air rush out of he as he struck a second time. He trotted off and I could see four giant gashes in my side where he had hit me with those horns. It took some time before I could get my breath back, but as before, I passed out, only to find the wounds healed up the next morning.

A few days later, after I had been fed, a group of four hairy human-like creatures shuffled by the rock. They reminded me of pictures I had seen of prehistoric cavemen. They stopped and looked at me, smelling me as they mauled me with their rough hands. They grunted at each other in what I thought might be some form of crude language for a bit, then one of them positioned himself between my legs.

I saw his dick start to get hard and I knew what was going to happen. Sure enough, he stepped forward and rammed himself into me without any warning. I was already filthy dirty and knew I smelled horrible, but the creature fucking me didn't seem to care. He kept ramming into my dry vagina until he ejaculated, then withdrew, only to be replaced by a second.

All four of them had their way with me, more than once. They jumped up and down, did fist bumps with each other and seemed to enjoy themselves. I felt torn, used and humiliated. Finally, they walked off and I looked down to see blood and semen splattered on the rock under me. I laid back down and sobbed until I fell asleep.

Something happened the next day after I was fed. It was as if I had snapped inside. I began sobbing, uncontrollably, and as I did so, I apologized for everything I had done. I actually apologized for being born. I begged for mercy. I even begged for death -- anything to stop this nightmare.

I opened my eyes and saw all the creatures who had tortured me since being chained -- even the four cavemen. They looked at me, not moving.

"Please, no more," I begged, sobbing. I was completely broken and at the end of myself. I knew I was probably going mad, if I wasn't there already. "I'm so sorry for everything," I added. They looked at me for a few more moments, then silently walked away.

Nothing more happened that day, but the next morning I saw that old cowboy riding up to the rock. Finally, a human being! The first one I had seen in a long time. I began crying out, hysterically.

He approached me and as he did so, the chains fell off of my arms and legs. I tried moving but was unable to. He got off his horse, threw a blanket over me and, saying nothing, he picked me up and set me on the back of his steed. I couldn't stop crying and sobbed the whole trip back.

He started to ride and the next thing I knew, I was here, in your house -- the house we used to share as husband and wife. Finally, I thought, my nightmare was over. As it turned out, my physical nightmare was over, but the heartache wasn't.

The cowboy you called Elijah set me in the warm bathwater you had drawn for me. At first I wondered how you knew I would be back, but later decided it wasn't something worth discussing. You welcomed me back in what was now clearly your home and I was grateful for that.

After you saw the cowboy out, you returned and began washing me. I tried, but found that I could hardly move my arms or my legs. Every inch of my body ached. I looked at you and tried to speak. I wanted to thank you for letting me in and giving me a much-needed bath. After so long, I'm sure I stunk to high heaven.

Unfortunately, all I was able to manage was a weak croak. You looked at me and put your finger to your mouth, indicating that I shouldn't say anything.

"It's alright, Cheryl," you said. "Just relax, I'll take of this. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." I put on a weak smile and let you do your thing. It took quite a while, but you eventually managed to scrub every inch of me and even washed my hair, which was not only filthy, but long, ratty and as scraggly as it could possibly be.

Then you really surprised me. Opening the bathroom drawer that was once mine alone, you pulled out a fresh razor. I remembered it was one that I had bought before I left to be with Enrique that last time. You shaved my legs, which were a mess and even shaved my armpits, something I knew you probably didn't care too much for.

For a moment, I thought you would trim the bush that had grown between my legs, but you didn't. I don't know if that was because you weren't interested, or didn't want to send the wrong signal. I had always kept it either trimmed or shaved before and you always seemed to like that. I didn't complain and in fact, it felt good to be clean for the first time in who-knows how long.

As you dried me off, I looked in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My skin, which had always been soft and supple, was now much darker and weathered so much it almost looked like tanned leather. My hair was stringy and a good six to eight inches longer than it was before. I looked like I had aged 20 years and I could see wrinkles and dark spots on my face and neck.

My lips were dry and cracked and when I opened my mouth, my once white teeth were now brown and I could see some were beginning to rot. I looked like shit, overall. Tears fell down my cheeks as I took stock of the horrible creature looking back at me. No amount of makeup would ever restore this face to what it once was.

After you dried me off, you brushed my teeth, then picked me up and carried me into the guest bedroom. You seemed much stronger than I remembered and I enjoyed the way your arms felt around me. You gently laid me on the bed, which had already been pulled down, then grabbed a pair of my panties and a nightgown. I almost forgot I had those and was surprised you kept them.

As I watched, you slid the panties on, then put the nightgown over my head and adjusted it so it would be more comfortable. I had forgotten what it felt like to have something on, and to be honest, it felt strange. Good, but strange.

After you got me situated on the bed, you turned the television on and showed me how to use the remote. I had actually forgotten how to use the thing.

"I'll be back with some soup," you said when you finished. As you walked out of the room, I began to wonder if there was a possibility we could reconcile. You were so kind and attentive and you never demeaned me once. But then, I realized, you always were kind and attentive. I was just too much of a bitch at the time to notice or care.

A bit later, you came in with a tray. You made a bowl of chicken noodle soup, my favorite, and brought a glass of orange juice. I was a bit startled when you tied a napkin around my neck.

"I know it's been a while and I don't want to see any soup on your nightgown," you calmly said. Then you sat down and actually started to feed the soup to me, patiently holding the spoon so I could take it in my mouth. I started to say something, but realized my arms were simply too weak to even lift a spoon.

So I sat there on the bed and let you feed me. I enjoyed the attention you were giving me and thought you would make a wonderful father some day. I also thoroughly enjoyed the soup. Finally, something with flavor! I savored it as it went down my throat. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fragrance that came up from the bowl. It's amazing how we take little things for granted, I thought as you fed me.

When I finished the bowl of soup and drank the orange juice, you stood up with the tray and prepared to leave. I looked up at you, a tear falling down my cheek.

"More, please?" I asked.

"Maybe in a bit," you said. "I don't want you getting sick."

"Sorry," I said weakly. You looked down at me, perhaps seeing the sadness in my eyes. You gave me a small smile and nodded your head.

"I know," you said. "I have to make some calls, but I'll be back. You just get some rest and we'll talk later, okay?"

"Okay," I said, watching you as you left the room. I felt so bad about everything I had done. You were always so kind and gentle to me. Even now, when you had every reason to hate my guts, you were still kind and gentle. I hoped that maybe we could work through this, but somehow, deep down, I suspected it wouldn't.

About a half hour later or so, you came back and sat on the bed next to me. I had a hard time reading your face. Were you angry? Sad? What?

"I called into the office and took a couple weeks off," you said. "You're pretty weak and you're gonna need help until you can start getting around on your own. I set up a hair appointment for tomorrow afternoon and also arranged for an appointment with Dr. Williams for the day after tomorrow to have you checked out. I also made a dental appointment for you. We're still technically married and you're still on my insurance, so it's covered. They're going to ask questions, so we'll just tell them you've been missing these last 359 days or so and just came back. They'll want to know where you've been, so we'll tell them we really don't know where you were. Which, technically speaking, is the truth. I don't know where that place was."

"Okay," I said. It made sense. I didn't know where it was either, so it wouldn't be a lie. If I told them everything, I would probably end up in a rubber room somewhere. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up there anyway.

"I had divorce papers drawn up, but I haven't filed them yet," you said. I expected that, but it still felt like I had been punched in the stomach. "I was waiting for the full year from that day. And just in case you're wondering, no, I'm not seeing anyone seriously. I've dated a bit, but I'm not looking for the next Mrs. Lionel Hawkins. Once bitten, twice shy, I guess." I nodded my head in understanding and gave him a slight smile. I had done this to him, and that made me feel even worse.

"Anyway," you added. "Right now, my first priority is getting you back in shape. I won't do anything with the papers for a while yet, so don't worry about that. I want you to concentrate on getting well again."

"Thank you for that," I said.

"There's another issue you should be aware of," you said. "Of course, I'll need to let the police know that you're back so they can close their missing person's case. But the feds are gonna want to talk to you about your time with Castillo and your dealings with him. They've come by the office a time or two asking questions in the last year. From what I've learned, you may be facing federal charges. I don't know yet. You and I both know that you've broken the law. I've also heard the authorities in Mexico may have some questions for you as well. I can hold the feds off for a little while, given your medical and psychological condition, but as an officer of the court, I can't hold them off forever."

"I understand," I said weakly.

"Elijah -- that's the big man who brought you here -- told me you've had a real change of heart," you said. "Is that true?"

"Yes," I said, nodding my head.

"We'll see," you said. "I'm a bit skeptical. You really hurt me bad, you know that?"

"I do," I said, tears running down my face.

"The problem is that I just don't trust you anymore," you said. I could understand that. "But I see no need to be an asshole about it. Not anymore. Right now, the main thing is to get you back on your feet. We'll deal with the rest when the time comes." That was so like you, I thought. Always kind, compassionate and considerate. Even when others did you wrong.

I realized just how bad I had fucked things up. You were nothing like Enrique. In fact, you were ten times the man Enrique ever was or could ever hope to be. I was just too stupid and blind with power and greed to see it. I looked up at you, tears falling down my face. It was hard, but I lifted my arms up to you.

"Please," I croaked. "Hold me." You looked at me for a moment before moving. Then you came to the bed, sat next to me and wrapped your arms around me. I buried my face in your shirt and sobbed. If only you knew what I had gone through this last year. You rocked me as I cried, reminding me of the way my father used to hold me. The memories made me sob even harder.

You sat on the bed next to me and held me while you flipped through the channels on the television. I remembered when we used to do this years ago, during happier times. You hit one of those educational channels that just happened to be showing a tiger eating its prey in the wild and I screamed in horror.

"Change it," I said, tearing my eyes off the screen. "Hurry!" You looked at me strangely, then changed the channel. Seeing the way that tiger went after its prey reminded me of what happened on that rock and I couldn't bear to look.

"Are you all right?" you asked, concerned. I nodded my head.

"No animal stuff," I begged. "Please." We used to watch a lot of those programs back during the "happy years" but I simply couldn't bear to look at them anymore. Especially now that I knew what it felt like to be the prey.

You put the television on a channel playing old comedies and we watched that for a few hours. It felt so good to lay there with you and laugh the way we used to do. For a time, I forgot about Enrique, animals, rocks, divorce papers and federal authorities.

After a while, you excused yourself to make dinner. I hated to see you go, but I understood. You came back a while later with some chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and cottage cheese. It smelled so good. You fed me as you did before and made sure I ate everything. I was surprised when you even let me eat a second helping.

My tummy full, I slept well for the first time in a very long time. I was surprised when you agreed to stay and hold me. The next morning, you fed me eggs, toast and some cream of wheat. Carrying me into the bathroom, I was ashamed that I had forgotten how to use the toilet, but you said nothing and patiently showed me.

I almost forgot that I needed to wear something for my hair appointment and we spent quite some time before we found something I could wear that didn't hang off of me. On the way to my appointment, you stopped and picked up a wheelchair and a walker so I could get around a little bit better. When we got to the salon, the woman who checked me in said it would take a while, so you told them to do whatever needed to be done, then left and came back when they texted you.

I was so embarrassed when we first went inside. I knew I looked like hell and I saw the sideways looks I got from the other women. I suspected you were ashamed to be seen in public with me, but you said nothing about my appearance.

When they finished, I looked at myself and was pleasantly surprised. They had done a wonderful job on my hair and suggested some products I could use at home. They had also given me the most extreme facial I had ever experienced, and I could see a significant difference. I was no where near as pretty as I had once been, but at least I didn't look like the proverbial "wild woman from Borneo" anymore. Nevertheless, they suggested I see a dermatologist.

They had also given me a manicure and a pedicure, and painted my nails. They were all very kind and understanding, and no one asked any embarrassing questions. I was pleasantly surprised when you complimented me on my appearance.

From there you took me out to update my wardrobe since nothing I had fit right anymore and everything was at least a year old. I almost felt like a new woman going through all those clothes. I remembered when you used to complain about all the money I spent on clothes, but this time, you said nothing when you handed your credit card to the cashier.

The next day, we went to see the doctor. They took blood and urine samples, took X-rays and gave me a pap smear. The doctor listened to what we said and seemed to accept our cover story. He gave me a thorough examination and brought us into the conference room.