Choice Matters

They talked about Lena's schoolwork. She decided that it was too boring a conversation and that's what led them to the 'Name Game'. Now Marko was focused intently on the road. They were going slower and slower but then finally he pressed down on the brakes. The van came to a complete stop.

"Uh oh," he said peering out through the wet mess of the windshield.

Lena sat up and also squinted through the glass. "What is it?"

His hands on the wheel, he lifted a finger and pointed outside. "How deep do you think that is?" he said pointing to a pool of water that covered about 5 metres of road ahead of them.

"I don't know," Lena thought aloud, "The road has been pretty level for a while. Maybe it's just a dip."

They stared at the pool for about a minute. Marko rubbed his teeth against each other then leaned back and said, "Go through or go back? Your choice."

That was the second time tonight he had said that. Her first decision ended with them driving in this storm when they probably shouldn't have. But she couldn't bring herself to drive all the way back to that cottage.

She shook her leg rapidly as she thought then said, "I think we can go through."

Marko revved the engine.

*********

Part 5: AN HOUR BEFORE NOW...

"Get in! Get in!" Lena called to Marko as she pushed open the van door.

He was soaked. She was wet too. For the last ½ hour the two of them struggled to push the van back from the sink hole which had stalled the engine. When the van still wouldn't start, Marko had gone out to check the engine.

"Well?" Lena asked.

"I don't know," Marko answered turning the ignition key, "I cleared some of the twigs and branches but I'm not sure what else to do."

He cranked the key. Nothing. Crap.

"Sorry," Lena spoke, dejected. It had been her choice.

"Ah don't worry about it," Marko answered. He turned to her and smiled, "I think we'll survive the night."

The fact that he was able to smile did wonders for her. Her mood lightened. They had managed to clear the van from the road, though they doubted anyone would be coming by anytime soon. They checked their cellphones but couldn't get a connection. There wasn't much else to do.

Lena shivered.

Marko knew he would be joining her soon with the shakes. They had to get dry.

"I think," he said, "I have a towel in my bag in the back."

He slipped between the chairs to the back of the van and dug out a beach towel from his bag. He crouched behind the chairs and handed it to Lena.

"Don't you need it?" she asked.

"I've got a change of clothes...unlike somebody I know," he quipped.

"Yes, yes, thanks for reminding me," Lena replied. She patted down her face. She inhaled. The towel smelled of him.

"We can burn your books for warmth," he joked.

She snapped back, "Don't you dare!" She coughed.

"Hey, you might want to take off your sweater," he said.

She turned and looked at him peeking from between the chairs. She cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not being a pervert!" he said, "Just so you won't catch cold. You don't have to take off your underwear. Wrap the towel around you. I won't look. I'm going to be busy changing my clothes back here."

With that he, moved away from the chairs and went to his bag. Lena listened to him fumble with his clothes. She put the towel on her lap. Then she reached for the bottom of her sweater. She lifted it slightly, stopping at her belly. She listened to him still moving around in the back. She lifted the sweater over her stomach and chest, past her neck and over her head. She kept her pale yellow strapless bra on but patted it down with the towel a bit before wrapping it around herself. She lowered her sunblind and found a mirror. As she fixed her hair she caught the refelection of Marko removing his shirt in the rear area. He had a lean body with well-toned muscles, probably from construction work. His skin was tanned from spending his days in the sun. She couldn't help but look but when she heard him snap open his fly, she pulled herself away from the show.

After a minute, he settled down and called from the back, "You want to join me back here? I think there's more room."

She hesitated but then stood up and slipped between the chairs. She sat across from him in the corner behind the passenger chair. It was dark. For some reason the floor was unexpectedly soft. She squinted when a small light appeared in front of her, behind Marko's head.

Marko had pressed one of the battery operated dome lights Kirk had attached to the van's walls. He turned and faced Lena sitting in the corner. She had raised her hand to rub her eyes, the towel dropping from her shoulder, revealing her right breast covered by the smooth yellow cup of her bra. The soft outline of her nipple showed through. He had been right. She was a small cup size but they had a nice shape.

Lena pulled the towel back over her shoulder unaware of Marko's stolen glance.

"Um, there might be another light behind your head," he remarked.

Lena looked behind and pressed a round dome. The light flicked on. They found two more lights in the cargo area and switched them both on. Even with all for lights, it was still kind of dim but Lena could now see Marko clearly. He had switched into a basketball shirt and some track pants. Then she scanned the van.

"Oh, wow," she whistled to herself., "I think I've hear about these things but never thought I'd see one."

Kirk's van had wall to wall red shaggy carpeting. There must have been some thick padding underneath because it was like she was sitting on a cushion. He also had a few jelly bean cushions and pillows tossed around. There was some Christmas lights strewn around the interior and posters of things like sunsets and beaches on the walls. The final touch was the full length body mirror he had somehow managed to hang from the ceiling.

"You've got to be kidding me," she chuckled staring at her reflection in the ceiling.

Marko smirked and shook his head knowingly, "Well, like I said, Kirk also needed to find new ways to express himself."

"Does this stuff actually work for him?"

He shrugged, "I guess you'd be surprised."

"Please," Lena closed her eyes and held up her hand, "Please don't tell me!"

They laughed. Then Marko got on his knees and turned towards the corner rear of the van. He lifted up the carpet and the padding. Lena craned her neck to see what he was doing.

"Ah, good old Kirk," he said. Then he turned around holding 2 cans of beer and half a bottle of whiskey.

Lena's eyes widened.

"So who says they get to have all the fun?" Marko said, "Name your poison."

She grinned but shook her head slowly.

"Come on, Lena," he urged her, "It'll warm you up a bit."

She paused then sighed, "Alright, alright...but just the beer."

He popped it open then handed it to her. Lena clutched the towel closely to her body as she reached for it. Marko popped a can for himself and then raised it to her.

"To good decisions," he toasted,

Lena winced. "Okay already! I'm sorry that we're stuck out here!"

Marko looked confused and said, "I'm talking about the beer."

"Ah." She understood.

He took a long sip as Lena watched and then breathed out satisfied, "Ahhhh!"

She raised her cans to her lips, paused, then raised it. She took a few sips.

"Besides," Marko said, "I don't think your decisions were so bad. Not many nights I get stuck in a van with a beautiful woman."

Lena swallowed hard on her last sip. She restrained a cough and looked up at Marko. "Uh, what?" she eked.

"Just saying I'm having a nice time being with you Lena," he pointed out.

She looked away uncertain if it made her feel good or uneasy to hear him say that. She realized every time she had been with him that day, he had made her feel good. Not just "warm fuzzies", deep down good . Maybe it was the beer but her heart was beating a little faster now.

Suddenly she realized how quiet she was. She should probably say something to his remarks. She thought quickly, "Well, it's nice being stuck in a van with you to."

Again he raised his can in a toast. He raised it up and polished it off in three big gulps. Then he looked at Lena.

She gazed at him and then the can of beer in her hands. After she exhaled, she raised it to her lips and then knocked it back. Marko watched her swallow. It took her more than three gulps and soon it overflowed in her mouth. It spilled out from the corner of her lips, down her chin and neck. But she didn't lower the can until it was completely empty.

"Ack!" she gasped with a smile as she looked at the beer that had dribbled down her body. She didn't know why she had felt compelled to do that.

The towel was wide open now. Marko enjoyed a clear view of the tops of her bosom peeking out from her bra and her lovely smooth and flat belly.

Lena quickly realized that she was exposed as well and immediately pulled the towel tight around herself, dropping the can. Her face flushed red.

"Impressive," Marko said.

Lena slowly looked up at him, an uncertain expression on her face.

"I'm still talking about the beer," he added.

She couldn't think of anything to say. She was concentrating on controlling her impulses because they seemed to be constantly getting her into deeper trouble.

Marko unscrewed the cap of the whiskey and took a swig. He grimaced as the liquid surged down his throat. He held the bottle out to her. This time she shook her head with a certain decisiveness.

They settled down in the van. He tossed a couple of cushions to her and they each made a little nest on opposite sides of the van. Marko continued to sip the bottle as they sat in what seemed to Lena was an uncomfortable silence. They listened to the rain thump heavily outside.

She looked up immediately when he spoke, "So...why didn't you get your bag?"

Lena dropped her head and remarked, "I don't want to say."

"Okay," he said. Then he just sat back. He wasn't going to ask anything else.

The silence bothered her, so did the sound of the unrelenting rain. Finally she sighed and, looking at the floor, said, "Donna and her ex-boyfriend were in the room where my bag was. I didn't want to go get it."

Marko sniffed and asked, "What were they doing?"

Lena looked at him, frowning, and said, "What do you think they were doing?"

He spoke matter-of-factly, "I think they were having sex. What I want to know is what exactly they were doing to set you off."

She looked bothered. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he continued, "Yeah seeing them having sex may have been a surprise but were they doing anything in particular that made you so upset?"

She glared at him. She had no idea what he was getting at. Thinking about it for a long time, she shook her head then snapped, "The whole reason I came up here was to console her because Tobin, supposedly the biggest bastard in the world according to her, dumped her a week ago. So I go to that hell hole of a cottage to be with her. He comes up, I have to mediate between the two of them and she still goes to talk with him alone anyway. And then what do I find when I go to get her? I find Donna in the bedroom on her knees giving him a blow job!"

"Ah!" Marko said.

Lena shrugged, "What 'ah'? What does that mean?"

"So she was sucking on his dick. That's what you saw," he replied.

Hearing the stark description, she leaned back and held her breath. Her face was red, she knew it. Then she lowered her voice and spoke, "What difference does it make what they were doing?"

"It seems to make a difference to you," Marko insisted, "You seem really bothered by it."

The image was vivid in her mind: Donna topless, her head bobbing frantically back and forth, looking up eagerly at Tobin as he stroked her hair like a pet. The bastard had a huge satisfied grin on his face as well.

Lena spoke softly, trying to make Marko understand, "She was on her KNEES. Topless. And all he did was stand over her, zip open his pants and shove his...shove his penis in her face. This guy dumped her a week ago. Now he was grinning like a master over a slave."

Marko nodded in silence.

Lena sank down into her cushions. She felt miserable. She whimpered when she spoke, "What is it with guys? Is that really what they want? Do they really get off on that? A girl kneeling down in front of them, sucking them off?"

Marko had a long contemplative pause. "Well yeah," he finally said.

She looked at him. She felt disappointment fill her heart.

"Most guys I know would say that they like that," he said, measuring his words, "I'd say it feels good."

In her eyes, this man whose company she had been enjoying so much was just tumbling down levels of respectability. She was surprised how much a kick to the gut it felt like, how much it hurt for HIM to say that. She squinted her eyes and sneered, "So you want a girl on her knees in front of you?"

Marko shook his head, "They don't have to be on their knees."

Lena clicked her tongue. She looked away fuming.

"Lena," he said, "What I mean is that it's just another type of sex. It doesn't have to mean one person dominating another. A woman doesn't have to be on her knees. It's just a position."

Her eyes shifted. She listened carefully.

"Yeah it feels good for the guy. It feels great," he continued, "But that's what sex is supposed to do isn't it? Oral or otherwise."

Lena began to calm down somewhat. There was no bravado in his voice. He seemed to be speaking honestly.

"Besides," Marko went on, "I know women who like doing it."

Lena couldn't imagine it. Actually wanting to suck on a guy's penis. What would a woman have to be thinking?

"Also, it goes both ways."

Now she looked at him again, puzzled.

"It doesn't just have to be the guy being orally stimulated," he said. "I know many women who enjoy it too. A lot. Sometimes it's the best part of sex for them, I think."

Lena had a blank expression, her mind working. He spoke so freaking frankly. She knew what he was presuming. He thought she'd never had oral sex performed on her before. Damn him. He probably thought she was a prude.

"I don't think you're a prude," Marko said.

Lena blinked, startled.

"You've probably had sex many times," he added. There wasn't a trace of sarcasm or smugness in his voice.

The rain continued to fall outside. Once in a while, there was a sharp "clunk" on the outside of the van, like a small branch had dropped on it. Sometimes it sounded like the storm was petering out, only to intensify again. Sort of like what was going on with the conversation in the van.

"I've had sex twice," Lena said. Before she had opened her mouth, she was telling herself to stop, not to go there. But it came out loud and clear like she had nothing to hide, nothing to lie about. She looked at him closely, seeing if she had caught him off guard.

Marko looked away, his head bobbing as he thought about it. Obviously she was looking for a response. He had several. So he cut to the chase. "Well," he spoke slowly and deliberately, "Firstly, by saying you've had sex before at least tells me that you're not a person who believes in abstinence. You're okay with sex before marriage."

She listened quietly.

He continued, "But you've only done it twice and you're what, 21? 22?"

"22."

"You're 22 and you've only had sex twice. That might tell me that your two sexual encounters weren't that...well, they probably weren't that great."

Lena sniggered, "So what does that mean? I need to have sex every night to say that I like it?"

He was about to respond to that but hesitated. Instead he asked, "Did you cum when you had sex?"

Lena frowned.

Marko elaborated, "I mean did you climax? Did you have an orgasm?"

She clicked her tongue and said, "I know what it means to...I know what 'cum' means."

An analysis may have been able to pick up her voice cracking as she said the word 'cum'.

He stared at her, reading her eyes, then leaned back and crossed his arms, nodding his head, "You know what I think?"

Lena grinned and said sarcastically, "Oh please, tell me what you think."

"You were a teen when you had your first time. Some guy you were dating in high school. One night , mom and dad are out of the house and you decide you want to do something grown up. You do the whole 'romantic' thing: dress up, dinner table all laid out, he brings flowers and wine. Then you two fumble around in bed under the covers for 10 minutes before you relax enough and he finally figures out where to put it in and after 2 minutes of awkward pushing he groans, collapses on you, says "that was great" and falls asleep." Marko took a long pause. He wasn't smiling. Lena wished he was smiling. At least if he were acting smug she'd feel more inclined to tune him out. But it was more like he was reading a book to her. Her book.

"There's usually more options during the second time, so don't let me go on if I'm completely wrong," he continued, "I'm thinking maybe you were a few years older. You're dating again, I don't imagine you would have done it with someone you weren't dating. This time you want to take it slow but the guy puts pressure on you to make the relationship more 'serious'. So you do it with him but it's all about his pleasure. He thinks he's a stallion, you're thinking about your student loan. He goes at you in one position, him on top, you on the bottom, never having any idea of what would make you happy. Then that's it. The relationship ends and when you think about it, you don't think of the time you had sex with him but that day you and he had a really good cup of coffee."

He hadn't hit the bull's-eye but he certainly scattered his shots on the board. Again he shot from the hip and only said what he felt he needed to day. So he leaned back and took another sip from the bottle. He watched her as he did so. She was resting her lower lip on her curved index finger, thinking hard. Again it was all in her eyes, her beautiful, small dark eyes. Sometimes they would shift left and right, sometimes she closed them as if she were falling asleep. He also noticed she wasn't clutching the towel so tightly around herself anymore. He heard her clear her throat.

Since she really had nothing to say he spoke, "And that's unfortunate."

Lena looked up at him.

His voice seemed to smooth out as his words drifted past his lips, "You deserve to be appreciated Lena."

She smirked.

"I'm not kidding," Mark said. He sat up a bit, leaning forward, "Do you know what I thought when I first saw you today?"

"Uh-huh," she snickered, "You thought what a beauty! What a goddess! She's the most beautiful woman in the world! Yeah?"

He brushed aside her sarcasm and said, "I was wondering what you looked like when you smiled. Because you seemed so upset. And then you finally did smile."

The snarkiness she felt inside of her faded away.

"That's when I thought you were beautiful," he continued, "And sweet. And attractive. And I thought about how good it felt to make you laugh and to make you feel good."

She thought about how he was the best part of her day, the best part of a long period of time now. She wasn't sure why. They had just talked. But he got her to honestly laugh and, amazingly, forget how miserable she was.

His voice dropped even lower, even more silky, "And all I could think about from that point on was how much I wanted to make you feel good." Lena knew where this was going. She looked deep into his green eyes, into his thoughts, and she saw herself. His jaw was fixed, his voice assured and resolved. He had read the signals she had sent to him throughout the day and now he was gong to see how far he could take them.

But she was still in control. It was still her choice.

"I-I'm not going to sleep with you," she spoke softly but clearly.