Choices Pt. 03: The Recovery

He slept better that night than he had in ages.

His improved attitude remained even the next afternoon after church and a stop at the store. He stood looking at the boxes of Christmas cards on the racks, wondering which Lisa would have chosen. When he realized he didn't know which she would have preferred, he picked his favorite and put in in the shopping basket.

Once he was home, he went down in the basement and found the big plastic Christmas tree that Lisa had so loved, and he spent the next two hours assembling and decorating it. She was always so careful, doing themes and arranging carefully selected ornaments just the right way to give a unified look. Rob selected the ornaments he liked and put them up wherever he saw an opening. When he realized the Luke Skywalker ornament appeared to be fighting the Lone Ranger and Frosty the Snowman, he couldn't help chuckling to himself.

He also put out a few of her other favorite decorations to try to bring a bit of Christmas spirit to his lonely home. After dinner, he sat down with Lexx by his side to write Christmas cards to Jen, Mike and Marci, and a few other old friends and relatives. He put everything away and was putting the cards back on the refrigerator door when he remembered Jen's note about the photos. He couldn't remember the password to the account that Abby had set up for him, so he sent a new password request. When it came, he set a new password that he thought he might remember.

When he signed in, he was lost. He'd watched Abby show him the basic features over a year before, but he was primarily enjoying spending time with her then and now didn't remember much about it. He finally clicked on his name and was glad to see it switched him to his profile page.

There, as he scrolled down, he saw a number of photos of Jen and him cheering together, doing stunts, or sometimes cutting up. He pressed the 'like' icon on several and figured out how to comment, leaving notes on a few others. His favorite was from the big UCA college cheer camp they'd attended in Virginia. The two of them were sitting down looking exhausted. Jen was leaning against him with her head on Rob's chest with his arm around her shoulder and his head drooped over atop hers.

He left a brief comment about how much he loved the photo and the memory.

Smiling, he continued scrolling on down to the last few pics when he stopped.

"No!"

Hearing him shout, Lexx jumped up and barked, as if trying to ward off the unseen threat. Rob petted him and told him it was okay before looking back at the screen.

The picture he was viewing was of Erin Parker and him, probably at the tryout or maybe one of the clinics; he didn't remember which and actually had no recollection of the picture being taken. The two of them were standing close together, looking into each other's eyes with a look of smoldering passion that seemed to practically leap out of the monitor's screen even all those years later.

He closed his eyes remembering the sweet times they'd had together followed by the mistakes they'd made and the heartache at least he had experienced. It was sad, in a way, but it had been a wonderful time for a little while. He hesitated for only a moment before he clicked the icon to show he liked the photo. He was about to X out of the photo when he decided to add a comment. He typed "Erin Parker and Rob Malone" before entering and turning off the monitor.

He glanced at the time and then picked up his phone to dial.

Jen answered on the second ring. "Hello."

"Hey, Jen, it's Rob Malone."

"Hi, partner! What's up?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for the Christmas card and for mentioning the cheer pictures. There were some great shots."

"I'm glad you got to see them. And thanks for adding Erin's name—"

"Oh, you saw that?" he said, surprised.

"Yes, silly. It sends you a message when someone comments if you have it set up that way."

"Oh, sorry. I'm not very good at the whole social media thing."

She laughed. "Just keep logging in and looking and you'll learn. As for her name, I've tried and tried but couldn't remember it. Say, do you ever hear from her?"

"Not since college, and we never really spoke after we broke up."

"But you guys really loved each other, didn't you?"

"Yeah...just not enough."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before Jen replied, her voice unsteady. "Yeah, been there, done that. Rob, I'm sorry; I've got to go. Thanks for the call, my friend. Good night."

"Good night, Jen."

* * *

Abby's college graduation was the following weekend, just days before Christmas, so Rob took a few days off to attend and spend with her before heading off with her to see his elderly parents and his little brother and his family. Rob was practically exhausted when he got home the day after Christmas, but he was glad to be home and looking forward to the new year. Abby would be living at home and working a paid position with his firm until she started law school in the fall.

"Dad, do you never log off your computer?" she called. "Just turning off the monitor doesn't really do anything."

"Not if I'm here by myself," he answered.

"Well, you've got a bunch of friend requests here and here's a friend suggestion from Aunt Jen."

He walked in carrying a mug of hot chocolate for each of them but almost dropped them when he saw Jen's suggestion.

"What's wrong, Dad? Are you okay?"

"It looks like Aunt Jen is stirring the pot to awaken old ghosts. I think we should kill that idea. How do you cancel it or whatever?"

Abby shook her head. "Too late, Dad. An 'Erin Parker Johnson' has already responded and sent you a friend request. Do you want to accept it? Dad?"

He heard her calling as he closed the door behind him and went out on the deck. It was cold but he was still sitting there looking into the woods of the nature preserve behind the house when Abby came out a little later.

"This was your mom's favorite spot," he said. "She loved seeing the birds and squirrels and even a deer wander through from time to time."

"Dad, don't do this," she warned.

"No, it's okay. I'm just debating what I want to do and what I really should do."

"With what? This Erin person? Who is she?"

He thought for a bit before answering. "Someone I knew before I met your mother. It didn't work out between us and we moved on."

"You said you knew her; were you lovers?"

He looked at her with a frown. "Councilor, I'm not sure what bearing that has on anything, and even if it did, whether you'd need to know it."

She giggled. "Okay, I'll take that as a yes. As for why, I'm trying to understand your reaction. I'd say you were at least fairly close or it wouldn't have upset you so much. Was she really special?"

He sighed. "Yes, very special. We were in love, or at least as much in love as you think you are when you're that age. We were each other's first lover. Then...we went too far, too fast, and we crashed. Spectacularly."

"I'm sorry, Dad." She squeezed his arm. "Now, you're sitting here debating whether to accept her request and risk rekindling something from long ago."

He nodded without commenting.

"If you do, you might even risk getting burned since it could end up being only a one-way attraction. Or, option two, since she's probably married based on two last names, whether you should punt and run away as fast as you can. How close am I?"

He huffed. "Abby, I love you, sweetie, but sometimes you're too smart for your own good. Bullseye."

"Ha! I knew it! Oops, sorry, Dad. I wish I could give you some great advice now—other than coming in out of the cold, I mean—but I guess I'll just give you a big hug and go pray for you while you figure it out." She gave him the hug and a kiss on the cheek before going inside, leaving him there to ponder as he shivered.

* * *

Rob avoided a decision by doing nothing after having Abby log him out of the site. He was still thinking about it when he went back to work the next day. It was a long day and he wasn't ready to leave the office until almost 7 PM. Therefore, he was surprised when Laurie, his dance partner from the company party, knocked on the jamb of his open door.

"Hi, Mr. Malone. We haven't met formally but my name is Lauren Reeves. My friends call me Laurie."

He rose and extended a hand. "Hi, Laurie. I'm Rob, remember? We've danced together."

She smiled as she shook his hand lightly and then took the seat he offered. "I came up here to drop off some paperwork with Mrs. Grimes before heading out and saw your light still on."

They spoke for a few minutes, friendly chitchat between new friends who'd just met. Rob was hesitant at first, but grew a bit more comfortable as he learned about her and swapped stories with her about their now-adult children.

When she looked at her watch, she seemed surprised. "Look at the time; I need to be going. Rob, it was nice to finally meet you and I appreciate you speaking with me."

"You, too, Laurie. I hope you have a lovely evening."

He watched her go, her pencil-style skirt hugging her figure, before he turned back to his papers. When he did, he couldn't concentrate on the words before him and the numbers, with which he was usually so intimately familiar, looked practically Greek to him. Looking back at the chair where she'd been sitting, he detected the light scent of her perfume that remained, leading him to take a deep breath. She was a very lovely woman, but, at least in his eyes, too young for him. Thinking about that, he used an old adage, dividing his age by 2 and adding seven. He was surprised at the result.

Hmm, maybe she's not too young after all, he thought to himself.

That result, their bit of polite conversation together with the recollection of their dance, the little kiss she'd given him afterward, and his imagination in the shower made him think about where he was, what he was doing, and, most of all, what he might be missing. Despite his calculation, he still felt she was too young for him, but there were others out there who weren't. He thought of the friend request sitting in his inbox. Shaking his head at the thought, he filed the papers in his drawer, turned off the light, and headed to the parking garage.

At home later that evening, Abby walked in to see him staring at the computer screen. When he didn't acknowledge her presence, she cleared her throat and said, "Penny for your thoughts, Dad."

"Oh! Hi, sweetie. I'm afraid you'd find that you weren't getting your money's worth."

"Let's see. Friend requests. And it looks like you're still struggling with the same one from last night. Making any progress?" she asked as she pulled a chair up beside him and slipped down into it.

"Abby, I had a revelation today and when I walked in here tonight, my decision was made. Minutes later, I'm as confused as I was before. I know what I want to do, but I'm fairly confident it's also exactly what I shouldn't do."

"She's very pretty."

He huffed. "That's obvious, but it also isn't the least bit helpful."

"How about this? It's a friend request. It's not like she's asking you jump in the sack with her. Again."

He frowned at her leading her to smile sweetly at him before they both laughed.

"I'm sorry, Abby. It just has me really uptight. There's a lot of water under this bridge and I'm not sure if I want to try to cross it again."

She was nodding with a determined look. "Okay then, one more thing to consider. Dad, you're a smart, sweet guy. From what I've seen, you're careful and you take safe, measured steps when you're not certain of the outcome, just like in your legal briefs that I've read. But the key is that you're not dealing with your corporate clients here; this is all about you. You can play it a little looser, if you want. You can always take the chance and back away if she's trying to be sneaky or just being an immoral slut. If, that is, you're not interested in a sneaky, immoral slut for a little while."

"Good Lord, Abigail! You're as bad as your brother."

She grinned. "Good night, Daddy. I love you, too."

He hesitated for only seconds after she left before he hit the accept icon and turned off the screen.

* * *

Rob didn't sleep well, second-guessing himself about his decision. After getting back from his morning run with Lexx, he got a cup of coffee and turned on the computer screen. The little message icon showed an incoming message, so, hesitantly, he clicked on it and saw Erin's name as the sender.

Dear Rob,

Thank you for accepting my friend request. It's been ages since we last spoke so I was glad to see you on here and looking so good. If you'd like to speak sometime, please give me a call after 7 PM; I'm available most nights and I'll return your call if I miss you and you leave me a voicemail with your number. I'd love to catch up with you but will understand (and be very disappointed) if you'd rather not. My number is below.

Love,

Erin

He sat in silence, rereading the message over and over and analyzing each possible trigger word for possible meanings. There was a degree of intimacy that one wouldn't expect from someone they hadn't seen or heard from in thirty-something years. Wondering what he should do, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Oh, it must really be on if you're doing that," said Abby from behind him.

He looked back at her and said, "'Morning, Abby. What on Earth are you talking about?"

"The temple rub. Mom said she could always tell when you were really stressed by how much you were doing it. So...is it work or the friend request. Still trying to decide what to do about it, right?"

"Nope. Worse; she sent me a note."

"What? You accepted it? Wow, I've got to send Robbie a text."

"My children. Living vicariously through my poor choices."

"No. He owes me a dollar since he bet me you wouldn't accept her request."

She read the message before asking, "Do you think you'll call her?"

"I don't know. Of course, I wouldn't tell you if I knew."

"Why not?"

"Because you'd probably try to take Robbie for five for that one."

Laughingly, she replied, "Dad, you know me too well."

* * *

Over the course of the next week, Rob picked his phone up several times in the evenings after 7 PM her time. Once he even typed in the number before putting it back down like all the other times.

"Dad, it doesn't dial itself. If you want to call her, do it. And no, I didn't tell Robbie about the note or the invitation. I didn't want to get his hopes up."

"Thanks, Sweetie. Please close the door on your way out."

"I can take a hint." The door closed behind her and Rob dialed the phone.

"Good evening, this is Rob Malone. May I speak with Erin?"

A sharp intake of breath on the other end told him that he'd reached her. "Rob? You really called. I...I wasn't expecting you to."

"Erin, I wasn't really expecting me to either, but my daughter seems to like you."

"Your daughter? Why?"

"You're female and, based on what little I told her of our past history, she thinks you might have at least a little interest in me. I think she believes if she can pawn me off on you she can head off to law school with a good conscience."

"Well, please thank her for me for getting you to call. As for the rest, we'll have to wait and see about that."

"Of course," he agreed. "Erin, before we go any further, I need to ask you a question. I didn't ask last time and it caused us trouble in the end."

"Johnson?" she asked.

"Yes."

"It's my married name, of course. I didn't change it back after the divorce, but I did add my maiden name on social media. Rob, that was over six years ago and I'm not dating anyone and I don't see Patrick any more, either."

"Patrick? Not—oh, what was his name?"

"Donnie? Rob, that was the biggest mistake of my life. After I broke up with you, I got back together with him and transferred to State that next fall to be with him. I caught him cheating on me when I'd been on campus for less than a semester so I dumped him. I met Patrick a few years later and we were good together for several years before things started coming apart. We had two great kids, so we struggled to stay together for their sake for a lot longer than we probably should have."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but it sounds as if you're in a better place now?"

"It wasn't easy, particularly at first when the kids were still in school, but yes, things are much better now."

"Good. Then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Rob. That means a lot. I...I looked at your profile and saw about your wife. I'm really sorry."

They talked about Lisa, their lives, and their kids for 30 more minutes before Rob said he had to go.

"Thank you for calling, Rob. It was very nice to speak with you and to catch up. I hope we'll get to talk again soon."

"Me, too, Erin. Thanks for talking to me. Good night."

* * *

It was another week before Rob called Erin again. Their call was longer this time. Successive calls came a day or two sooner than the one before. It wasn't long before they were talking four or five or even six nights a week.

Several weeks into their new relationship, Erin asked, "Rob, we're spending quite a bit of time together here, even though we live 800 miles apart. Do you think we'll ever see each other in person?"

Rob pondered for a few moments before answering. "Erin, the only stipulation we've agreed to on whatever it may be that we have between us is that we would take it slow and wouldn't rush into anything. Still, if we keep up like this, and assuming you might be amenable to it, I suspect something like that might be in the cards before too long."

Erin tried to cover up a giggle on her end of the line, leading Rob to ask, "Okay, what's going on?"

She laughed out loud this time. "Oh, nothing, Mr. Attorney. Just, you can assume that I'd be quite amenable to something like that. Before too long, of course."

He laughed, too, in response to the way she said it. "Erin, thanks for understanding. Just give me a little more time, okay?"

"Okay, Rob. I understand. Say, one more thing, before you go: are you ever going to send me a picture of you and Lexx? You keep talking about him but I haven't seen a picture yet."

"Tell you what, how about if I put it on the website?"

"That would be great, Rob. You have a nice evening. Good night."

"Good night, dear."

Rob turned on the monitor and brought up the website. He pulled out the notes he'd taken from Abby's demonstrations and soon posted the picture of Lexx and him that she'd taken of them during the holidays. Rob rubbed the dog's head and pointed to the monitor. "See, there we are, boy."

With that out of the way, he scrolled down his profile and glanced at Jen's old photos again, stopping on the photo of Erin and him. His heart almost fluttered as he recalled their time together...and how it had all fallen apart. Could this time be different? Would it? Only time, he knew, would tell.

He was about to close out when his mouse caused the screen to scroll down a bit more and he realized there was another photo below it. That turned into two, three, and then four, mostly of one tryout or another, but, other than his squadmembers, he didn't recognize anyone in particular after the passage of the years.

With a yawn, he looked up at the top and saw that he had a few new friend requests. He looked through them quickly and pressed "Accept" to all but the last.

Dee Winslett

Rob didn't know a Dee Winslett. In fact, he couldn't recall knowing any Winsletts at all other than the actress and he didn't know her personally or know if her name was even spelled the same way. The profile picture was an orangish flower—a tiger lily, he thought—so he was about to reject the request when he decided to click on the name to see if there were any other photos available like Jen had done with him.