Choosing Love Pt. 01

"Huh... oh, yeah...tuna would be fine."

When Kendra reached out with a soft touch to my arm to stop me, I turn back from the door to face her. With the towel clutched in one hand to cover herself, Kendra said softly, "Thank you for understanding. I didn't know I had been so alone...it helps being here."

The beginning of tears break my resolve. I've allowed my own desires to intrude into Kendra's privacy, ignoring the turmoil she's facing. I instinctively step to my new friend and draw her close in a comforting hug. The towel, abandoned, falls to the floor. As Kendra lays her head on my shoulder just above my breast, we hold each other as I lightly stroke my fingers up and down her still damp back—then her pent up emotions finally break free in tears and soft sobs. Nurturing and empathy come easy for me, and we both find what we need in this intimate moment. The moment grows into several minutes before the healing of human touch finishes it's work. My hope is that with that catharsis of pent up fears, her first step toward a new life has been taken.

While Kendra purged some of her fears and pain with tears, on the other side of the embrace, my thought's take me another small step closer toward accepting what I've begun to realize for some time. Kendra's warmth and her soft naked flesh make it easy for me to take that definitive step...and much harder to resist it. Only time will now tell if I have destroyed what might have been a good roommate relationship.

After a quiet dinner, and with the comforting warmth of a growing bond of friendship, I studied as Kendra reads her book laying on her bed. Not a word had been uttered about what we just did. When Kendra complained again that her aching feet were once again reminding her to buy some better shoes, I laid my textbook aside and walked to her bed. "Let me rub them for you."

I brought a bottle of lotion from the bathroom and sat at the foot of her bed. I knew it was more than a foot rub, I knew it was sexual—at least for me. But it seemed she wasn't aware of the battle raging inside of me. As I smoothed the cream over her feet and up her legs, Kendra relaxed under my hands. I kneaded the tense muscles in her calves, then started in earnest trying to ease the pain in her feet. All the while, I was adoring her petite perfection and my heart was racing that this was actually happening!

More than anything I wanted to rip away her pajamas and let my hands explore further up her legs to the treasure I knew lay hidden there. But this had to be enough—but I'm on fire in my need! In my mind I'm naked and straddled over her face, her lips and tongue massaging my own tense need away. But the reality is almost as good, we've at least passed that awkward getting to know you stage. I know, for myself, I never really thought I would take this leap into the unknown, and maybe I won't...maybe it's all just in my head. I can only assume that Kendra isn't even aware at our intimacy is affecting me. I'm just thankful for her, thankful for whatever brought us together—and thankful that she hadn't rejected my touches.

Frustrated beyond description, the massage ended in success when Kendra says, "I can't believe how much that helped. That was a lot of rubbing, but I really appreciate it."

"We better get you a proper pair of shoes before you cripple yourself."

"I know. I've just been too stingy with my pay check. But I think you're right."

I get up from her bed to put the lotion away, but Kendra reaches out to catch my hand. Turning, I looked down on her. "Thank you for tonight," she says to me.

To me she looks like an angel, a mixture of beauty and innocence that's driving me crazy with desire. "Thank you too. I didn't realize how alone I was either, I guess. I'm so glad you're here with me." It's all I can manage to say, realizing how incomplete my words are at expressing the truth of my emotions. Walking back to the bathroom to put the lotion away my thoughts are of how much harder this all is than I imagined. But realizing I never really played through the courtship part in my fantasies helps me to focus. Just take it one step at a time—let it unfold as it will, I tell myself...just be honest and don't hurt her. No! Just drop it...don't be stupid.

At ten o'clock, we watch the news on our small television, and as usual, the war is the lead story. The coverage of the growing protests are also becoming a nightly topic. It is a depressing time for the whole country, and having it brought right into the room on TV only amplifies the gruesome impact it has on everyone. The black and white images make the carnage and violence all too real.

"It'd be nice if he would have at least written to tell me what he's doing over there," Kendra says with an edge of anger in her voice while turning the television off. "I don't know if he's the camp cook or if he's on the front lines leading the charge!"

"I know, but it won't do anybody any good to get yourself worked up about it. It sure won't help you sleep."

"I know. It just pisses me off that he could be so unthoughtful."

"Yeah, I hear you Kendra, I've experienced the same kind of thing. You know, maybe we shouldn't even watch the news. It's all bad, and it really doesn't help watching it."

"I think you're right. I just lay awake and imagine the worse. Let's just not watch it. Honestly, I'm getting tired of even wondering about him. "

"Works for me. But speaking of getting a good nights sleep...I have an embarrassing question."

"Oh no, don't tell me I snore!"

I laugh and tell her, "No, it's not you. When I knew you were moving in with me, I bought some pajamas to sleep in. But...I'm embarrassed...but, I've slept nude for a long time and the pajamas get all wrapped up and feel like they're trying to kill me in my sleep. Would it freak you out if I go back to sleeping nude?"

"No, don't be silly. I had an older sister my whole life."

"Thank you Kendra, you may have just saved my life. I didn't want to be weird, and I'm glad you're cool with it. Actually, some of my friends at the university go up into the hill country and swim nude at a couple of swimming holes they know about. I've gone a few times and it's really fun. It was a little awkward at first, but now I can understand those nudist camps better...it really is quite freeing and natural after you get used to it."

"Hmmm, if I weren't a married woman I might go with you. Are there many naked guys?"

"Oh yeah, there's both guys and gals. The weird part is that in a crowd, it doesn't really feel sexual so much...but it is fun to look."

"Now I have this image in my mind of you and a bunch naked people frolicking around to go to sleep with. I'm glad I met you Lisa, you're weird but it's nice having someone new in my life. Being away from home and not having Bobby around..."

Noticing how just the mention of him brings her down, I quickly jump in, "I know what you mean, I feel the same way just being here in San Marcos and going to Texas State. I know I'm changing too. But that's what college is all about...I guess it's what life is all about really. Let's just say, the times are changing in a lot of ways. Hey, speaking of time, we better go to bed!"

Waiting for Kendra to get settled, I turn the lamp off and get undressed. Slipping under the covers my soft sigh of comfort and pleasure announces my satisfaction over finally being free of the killer pajamas.

*****

That Same Night

Kendra with Lisa: A New Breeze Blows In

Hearing Lisa's contented sigh makes me wonder how it would feel to take my own pajamas off. I've never slept nude, even with Bobby. He just fucked me, left his mess for me to clean up and he was usually asleep by the time I made it back to bed. What did I ever see in him, anyway?

Finally alone with my thoughts, I try to remember the last time I've had an orgasm. Since moving in with Lisa, nerves have kept me from doing it with her just a few steps away in her own bed. Before that, moving took all of my energy after long days at work. Bored with those thoughts, I drift back to the bath early this evening. It felt so awkward at first, but Lisa's confidence about being there made me want to seem more confident too. Plus, now that I know she's seen bunches of nude people, I guess she wasn't too shocked.

Lisa dried me so gently it almost felt like making love. But that's just me, she was just being kind like she always is. When the towel grazed me between the legs...and I was actually wondering if she would do more. What if she had? That one touch of the towel made me get wet and I just stood there waiting for her to finger me. Why did I get wet for another girl? Her touch surprised me and puts such new thoughts into my head. What would I have done if she fingered me? I think I might have let her do it...but that's so wrong! Why do I like how these new thoughts make me feel? I already feel safer and closer to Lisa after this short time than I ever felt with Bobby. It's really easy to imagine how it would feel to take that step with her. I wonder if it's all in my head...I wonder if she thinks about this stuff too.

Never have I been touched by another person like Lisa did, and the moistness I know is there frightens me and thrills me at the same time. How can this feel so right and so scary at the same time? I'm not naive, I know that some women desire others like themselves, but those thoughts were only a casual curiosity. Now, the tingling between my legs, the fluttering in my stomach and my hard nipples can't be explained away as easily as that. It's confusing and a little scary...it also excites me in a forbidden way. I've never had feelings like this! I don't want it to end—I don't want to be alone anymore.

Slipping my hand under the waistband of my pajamas, I'm not the least bit surprised at what I find. As quietly as possible I rub my middle finger between my folds, relaxing as the slick pleasure spreads. As quiet as possible, I slowly rock my hips as the radiating pleasure takes the place of thoughts. Stopping just long enough to slip my pj's down past my knees so I can spread wider, then I dip inside, curling my finger up to scratch my kitty's belly. But then the hard nub demands more and my other hand obeys in urgent short strokes with those two fingers that always know just what to do! Yes, it has been a long time—but it doesn't take long this night! Trying hard to not cry out, my body shudders in release, leaving me weak, soaked and sated in its wake. The last thoughts I'm aware of are how gentle and different it was with Lisa, and wondering how more might feel. Finally, the wine, hot bath, Lisa's friendship and my first orgasm in ages take away all my cares and worries for this day.

*****

CONTINUED IN PART 02